Arthur Remake

I Wish I Had A Dime For Every Dime I Had / Brian Prisco

Trade News | December 5, 2008 | Comments (17)

So apparently, still high from finishing Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Russell Brand has decided he wants to remake the 1981 classic Arthur. Last I checked, Arthur was an alcoholic, not chasing the dragon. For those out of the know, Arthur is essentially a drunken playboy who stands to inherit a mad fortune if he marries an heiress, but instead falls for Liza Minelli, which goes to show the dangers of alcoholism. Brand’s a decent enough actor, but Dudley Moore is an incredibly charming motherfucker. I just don’t know if he’s got the bouncy charm to carry off that part. Brand’s more of a Hugh Grant funny, that sort of affable aw-shucks, golly aren’t I a handsome chap amusing. Arthur’s one of those “career-defining” parts.

However, if they go through with it, I say they just make it a full on trainwreck. The Liza Minelli part should be played by a) Liza Minelli, right now, b) Russell Brand playing ALL of the parts ala Eddie Murphy, or c) Amy Winehouse and a bottle of scotch. I might actually pay money to see Russell Brand try to woo Wino. It’d be like Trainspotting as a porno.

But the real star of the movie is Hobson, the valet. I hope they forego the obvious Jim Broadbent/Tom Wilkinson road, and go for real star power: Peter O’Toole. Here’s a clip of him getting informed of the news:

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I sincerely hope Liza hears about this and uses her contacts in the Gay Mafia to stop this from happening like in Will and Grace.

"A real woman could stop you from drinking."
"She'd have to be a real big woman."

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 5, 2008 11:12 AM

ha! that clip just made my day...again. if anything, i think repeated postings of it are somewhat influencing my desire to watch the movie in its entirety, if only just to see what a trainwreck it is. i feel like one could get a lot of comedic mileage out of it.

Posted by: eat my shorts at December 5, 2008 11:14 AM

I remember catching the bus to go to the Omni in downtown Miami to see Arthur, I know, I know I was a fucked up kid.

Posted by: Pookie at December 5, 2008 11:15 AM

Aw, come on, remaking Dudley Moore's a cinch. Look at "Bedazzled"! Now "Micki & Maude"....that's the challenging one.

However, if Russell Brand can't say "What the...ffffffffffffffffffuck?" then he's out.

Posted by: Jay at December 5, 2008 11:15 AM

But you went on the food court carousel after, right Pookie?

Posted by: Jay at December 5, 2008 11:17 AM

This kind of makes me want to see the original Arthur again. It's probably been at least 20 years since I saw it last.

Posted by: tamatha at December 5, 2008 11:18 AM

They should definitely re-make Arthur only with Liza Minnelli "playing" the spoiled crazy drunk who meets a strange quirky guy. And the final wedding scene should just be a video of her wedding to David Guest. It doesn't get any better than batshit crazy Liza marrying a guy who makes Liberace seem straight with bridesmaids Michael Jackson and Liz Taylor in furry slippers because her feet swelled before the ceremony and she couldn't fit into her shoes. I would pay to see that continuously all day long.

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 5, 2008 11:25 AM

they should combine this with the aardvark dude and make a shaggy d.a. style mashup.

Posted by: celery at December 5, 2008 11:33 AM

FUCK!!

It was a delayed reaction....but the Christopher Cross has now hit my head.

Scumbag! I'll find where you live I'll burn your fucking house down!!

Posted by: Jay at December 5, 2008 11:41 AM

I just looked out the window and saw Famine and Pestilence riding down my street, so I know the other two can't be far behind ...

One of my favorite lines ever (and it's been a long time for me too, so this is approximate) is:

"I am Arthur. I get drunk, I race cars and I fondle women. But I have weekends off, and I'm my own boss."

Nobody but short, funny-looking Dudley can pull that off!!! You hear me?!? NOBODY!!! So just stop this foolish remake talk RIGHT NOW or I'll have to whip out more exclamation points on your ass.

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 5, 2008 11:44 AM

Have you actually seen Brand's stand-up, any of his television shows or appearances on British TV? When he's uncensored, he's insane brilliance. I mean, he got fired from radio for ringing up the guy who played Manuel in Fawlty Towers and telling him he fucked his granddaughter. I think he's shown a lot of versatility in recent times.

Posted by: ben (thpbt) at December 5, 2008 11:58 AM

Ben, thank you!

That line about Brand bothered the fuck out of me. Comparing him to Hugh motherfucking Grant!? Has the reviewer actually seen either of them?

Brand's kind of comedy is basically a raving, ranting trainwreck of a man high on SOMETHING. I don't know what, but I want some.

Also (slightly related): He's yummy.

Posted by: Brit in Holland at December 5, 2008 12:49 PM

The primary plot of Irvine Welsh's sequel to Trainspotting involves the characters creating a porno. (That's the name of the book.)

Arthur was a good movie.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at December 5, 2008 1:14 PM

*siiiiiiigh*

I think I might as well just resign myself to the fact that Hollywood will never do anything original ever again. It's all remakes from now until the end of eternity. There are 100 years or so worth of movies to be remade.

I fucking give up.

Posted by: figgy at December 5, 2008 2:00 PM

No Jay I was never a big fan of carousels, but I was a big fan of the food court though. There was this fake Greek restaurant that my brother and I would buy gyros and seek them into the movie theater. We would spend the whole day watching movies, god I miss those days.

Posted by: Pookie at December 5, 2008 2:36 PM

I didn't even realize the original "Arthur" had a plot. I thought it was an avant-garde depiction of a man's slow spiral into alcoholism and madness. Apparently it was a rom-com. Who knew?

Posted by: TylerDFC at December 5, 2008 6:25 PM

I have three thoughts on this Arthur remake. The obvious is that the Downey, Jr is probably the only dude charming enough to pull it off. The second, I watched Stardust earlier and am under the spell of Charlie Cox, so maybe he could do it...though I don't know how versatile he is (though I liked him in Dot the I as well...)

Third and most importantly, I kind of am hoping this will jopin up with the Arrested Development movie to become The Greatest Film Ever, cuz Buster hyped up on juice would make a freakin awesome traslation of Arthur.

Posted by: Barabajagalla at December 6, 2008 1:15 AM

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