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February 23, 2007 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | February 23, 2007 |

We don’t have any huge industry news to report today, but stick around anyway; maybe I can dazzle you with my jazz hands.

Let’s start with this: Ron Howard is tossing around the idea of remaking the Juliet Binoche film Caché, which Jeremy reviewed positively last year. It’s about a bourgeois-bohemian couple whose world is torn asunder after they begin to receive a series of increasingly violent and voyeuristic video tapes. According to Jeremy’s review, it’s a metaphor for the French colonization of Algeria, though I can’t vouch for the accuracy of that statement; Jeremy thinks most movies are a metaphor for the French colonization of Algeria (see, e.g., Epic Movie, Dirty Love, and Brokeback Mountain — I know! He’s obsessed!). I’m not certain why anyone would want to remake a perfectly good film that’s less than two years old, but I’m guessing Ron will cast Russell Crowe, sanitize it for American audiences, take out all those annoying French people, and — I’m just speculating here — make it suck. Currently, Howard is working very hard to ensure that his remake of the James Dean flick East of Eden sucks, after which he’ll tackle Angels and Demons, which he’ll have to work extra hard on, lest it not suck as bad as The Da Vinci Code.

Moving from the narrator of “Arrested Development” to George Bluth II, Will Arnett is now attached to star in and produce Space Invader, a comedy about a love triangle on a space station. Mike Lisbe and Nate Reger, the writing team behind Space Invader, purportedly starting working on the script months before the Lisa Nowak shenanigans, but I’m guessing those events had studio execs all over Hollywood swimming in the slush piles, looking for a script with similarities to her story. I understand Space Invader was just barely chosen over a big-screen adaptation of the SNL advert, “Ooops I Crapped My Pants.”

And just to keep the “Arrested Development,” theme rolling, two of its cast members, Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth) and Michael Cera (George-Michael), have been cast alongside Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, and Ellen Page in Juno. The script comes from first-time screenwriter, Diablo Cody, and if that sounds like a stripper name to you, it’s because it most certainly is. (Cody also wrote the memoir, Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper , which is the one and only pick that Letterman ever made for “Dave’s Book Club.”) Juno is a coming-of-age story about an offbeat girl (Page), who apparently makes a bizarre decision about her unborn child (idle speculation: she enrolls the infant for the next season of “Survivor”; hijinx ensue). Bateman plays husband to Garner, and the two are interested in adopting the unborn child. Cera will play Page’s best friend and knocker-upper. Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking) will direct. I will be playing the part of the attendee.

And now, the weekend box-office: The top film over the weekend, actually, is singularly responsible for Ms. Pajiba-hyphenate’s newly obtained expatriation. Upon learning, during an advert forGhost Rider that aired last night promoting itself as “the number one film in America,” she sadly renounced her citizenship, refusing to belong to a nation that would give Nicholas Cage and his fire-retardant brain $50 million in four days. Personally, it just strengthens my will — giving up now will only mean that the terrorists have won. Bridge to Terabithia put up a solid $28 million and, so far, hasn’t pissed off any of the book’s fans. Music and Lyrics cleared $21 million, after opening on Wednesday, despite its melodeath music and boy-band lyrics. Daddy’s Little Girls managed just $18 million, representing a significant drop-off from Tyler Perry’s previous efforts, and the comments on the review, as one commenter (Manny) noted, have “suddenly devolved into what can only be described as the blog equivalent of a bowel movement set to ‘bullet time.’” It’s the imagery that keeps on giving. Finally, Breach did all right, raking in $12 million, ensuring that Ryan Phillippe continues to blandicize films for a few more years.

This weekend, we’ve got another full slate on tap for you good folks, starting with Jim Carrey’s The Number 23, the actor’s first foray into horror films, if you don’t count How the Grinch Stole Christmas. We’ll also be reviewing Reno 911: Miami, and for those of you excited about it, just keep in mind that its writers are also responsible for Taxi, Herbie: Fully Loaded, The Pacifier, and Let’s Go to Prison, so keep your expectations in check. The Astronaut Farmer, a Billy Bob Thornton flick about a guy who plants rutabagas on the moon, opens in 2,155 theaters, while The Abandoned, about a house that “knows how you will die” opens on 1,000 screens. Amazing Grace will also open in 800 theaters, though I suspect — even if it’s positively reviewed — they will all remain empty; who the hell wants to see a movie about the origins of that particular song? I’m still waiting for Eli Roth’s big-screen version of the Misfits’ “Last Caress.”

And finally, not that you likely need any reminding, but the Oscars are Sunday. Given the slate of nominees, another Crash-like travesty is impossible. But come back to Pajiba on Monday anyway, and I’m sure we’ll have something to bitch about. If not, we’ll make something up — that’s the sort of dedication we have around here.

Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife in Ithaca, New York. You may email him, or leave a comment below.

Arrested Pajibament

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Industry | February 23, 2007 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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