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Talk About “Uncool”

What Has Two Thumbs and Doesn’t Give a Sh*t? / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | December 11, 2008 | Comments (49)

My God, how obnoxious has Jennifer Aniston become? She’s still working on that “fresh start.” Jesus. Actually, I blame her less than I blame the coverage of her. She’s doing another round of press this month, ahead of the release of Marley and Me — a movie about the violent, inhumane death of a misbehaving puppy dog — and they’re still making everything about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Aniston’s desire to have kids and … Goddamn, is it possible to care less? But the woman doesn’t seem to be doing a lot to kill the tabloid coverage. She just provokes that shit. Whatever. I’m annoyed. I’ll let it go.

What’s more annoying, really, is Gerard Butler’s insistence on starring in romantic comedies or opposite romantic-comedy actresses. Dude could be one of the best action stars of our day, and he does Nim’s Island or P.S. I Love You or, worst still, The Ugly Truth opposite Katherine Heigl, which is about the violent, inhumane death of a Rainbow Killer.

Next up: Butler is starring opposite Aniston as a bounty hunter. I can’t tell if this is a romantic comedy that Butler is miscast in, or if it’s an action thriller that Aniston has been miscast in (see, also, Derailed). The logline: “A bounty hunter (Butler) is hired to retrieve his ex-wife (Aniston), who has skipped bail.”Genius! Andy Tennant (Hitched) will direct, which suggest romantic comedy. However, Sarah Thorpe, who wrote the (terrible) crime thriller, Twisted (starring Ashley Judd and Sam Jackson) is attached as writer, which suggests thriller.

It’s hard to say which it is. But it doesn’t really matter — Butler is outnumbered 3-1 among less talented principals, so it’s bound to suck. The movie is still untitled. I’m thinking: Useless Waste of $10.


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Comments

Me?

Posted by: Bob Kelso at December 11, 2008 9:07 AM

I don't even know why people still care. Didn't she start banging some other guy? That singer? She's probably just happy someone is still paying attention to her.

Posted by: Trouble at December 11, 2008 9:17 AM

Jennifer Aniston is one of those celebrities I like for no reason. I don't like any of her movies, I wasn't a huge fan of friends, I don't care about her and Brad Pitt, and her press coverage couldn't get more annoying, and yet, for some reason, I'm still in her corner.

Posted by: Marra at December 11, 2008 9:20 AM

That Bulter/Aniston movie sounds like a really bad take on "Midnight Run".

I don't have any feelings towards Jennifer Aniston. I watched "Friends" for a few seasons way back in the day and thought it was funny enough, but then I stopped watching it. Other than her "30 Rock" guest star apperance, I don't think I've seen anything with her since.

It is sad she sucks at picking men and can't get over Brad Pitt. I think it'd be hard to get over Brad Pitt. He's Brad Pitt. She really didn't stand a chance though. Agelina Jolie has powers well beyond anything us mere mortals can imagine.

(Note to "30 Rock" producers: Your show is good enough as it is. The best part about your show are the existing characters. We don't need a Celebrity Of The Week going all OTT on us to make it better. I don't blame you though. I know you're just trying to get better ratings.)

Posted by: ajax19 at December 11, 2008 9:30 AM

I'm with you, Marra. She's inoffensive in practically every way, and I find it impossible to hate on her in the way of, say, Rainbow Killer or Hasselbeck. I occasionally even find myself feeling sorry for her, but I get over it pretty quickly.

Posted by: Che Grovera at December 11, 2008 9:34 AM

Gerard Butler can take a Midnight Run in my pants.

That is all.

Posted by: MG at December 11, 2008 9:44 AM

I'm with you, Marra. I really like the girl. I think that by talking about Brad Pitt she's making a joke of the whole thing, which is a perfectly acceptable way to handle the tabloids' "Poor Jen" circus. No matter what she says people will say she's still in love with Brad Pitt. I mean, have you seen the covers? "Jen is finally over her obssession with Brad." What the fuck, man?

I think they insist on portraying her as a desperate woman because there's really no other way they can talk about her. She's a sweetheart. I can't help it; I love her.

Posted by: Sofía at December 11, 2008 9:44 AM

Rowles I finally agree with you on something. What the fuck is Gerard Butler thinking? Motherfucker was all gangsta and shit in 300, he could have been a big time action movie star, but now he's running aroung in some movie writing love notes to some cunt.

Posted by: Pookie at December 11, 2008 9:51 AM

I think Jen manages to hold up pretty well myself. I mean, I would probably crack under the constant media speculation that my womb has, indeed dried up at long last and I'll die alone, coupled with a certain super mean gossip blogger who insists on calling me "Maniston" cause, you know, I look so manly. All the private yoga sessions, houses in Malibu and ten years younger musicians wouldn't be enough to keep me from going stark raving looney...

Posted by: KHA at December 11, 2008 9:54 AM

The Ugly Truth

It's the true-life story about those candid photos of RK smoking and looking like ten miles of bad road.

Put me down for the Aniston support party. I just like her for some reason, and Brad Pitt is a skeeve for the way he behaved. Having said that, stars who are constantly in the tabloids are there because they and their publicists constantly want to be in the rags. The difference between George Clooney and Brad Pitt is that Clooney's flacks don't call the paps every time Clooney leaves his table to go take a dump.

All the media coverage of Jolie and Pitt is carefully calculated and entirely desired by one or both of them. Britney and Lindsay can only know if they still have a career by how many paps are following them -- they would have an aneurysm if they came out of a club and there weren't fifty photographers there. There's a reason the more classy and sophisticated stars don't struggle with this nonsense: It's because they really don't want it, so they use the common sense god gave a dung beetle to avoid it.

Next time someone complains about the paps following them, remember this: They. Are. Lying.

Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at December 11, 2008 10:02 AM

Are they going to force Butler to use an American accent in this movie too? Let the Scottish accent flow!

Regarding the action movie roles, it looks like he has the following on his plate:
Game: A future-world where humans can control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online gaming environments.

Tales of the Black Freighter: based on a pirate comic that is from Watchmen

Law Abiding Citizen: An everyday guy decides to take justice into his own hands after a plea bargain sets his family's killers free.

Posted by: branded at December 11, 2008 10:06 AM

I still like her as well, even though I don't think I've enjoyed a single movie she's been in. I was and always will be a huge fan of Friends. She had great comedic timing.

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 10:10 AM

...Midnight Run in my pants.

Taken out of context, that doesn't sound like a pleasant experience MG.

Posted by: admin at December 11, 2008 10:12 AM

Che! Holy smokes, I was starting to wonder if you were the latest victim of TK's basement.

Yeah, I can see feeling bad for Aniston. Being famous would be enough of a pain in the ass (though I suppose she wanted that), but I can't imagine being subject to that much public pity. Ugh.

Wait, did I just say I feel bad for her because everyone feels bad for her?

Dammit, I'm going to get another coffee.

Posted by: meaux at December 11, 2008 10:12 AM

Yeah but Rachel was the most annoying character on that show!

That said, I'm mostly tired of the stories because I don't care enough about any of the three involved.

And what exactly is a "Gerard Butler ringtone"?

And that cable guy looks like Michael Bay and alwyas confuses me for a second.

Posted by: Jay at December 11, 2008 10:14 AM

Still like Jennifer but she's killing me. Adore the Gerard Butler of "Dear Frankie". He needs more of this type of role.

Posted by: djo at December 11, 2008 10:14 AM

Hee, Jay, I thought Monica was the most annoying. By the end she was so shrill I wanted to beat her to death with my headphones.

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 10:20 AM

Aniston, will just have to put up with being inferior to Jolie, in EVERYTHING. That's why Jolie is fucking her man, filming better movies, making more coin and getting better press.

How pathetic is it, that her whole following comes from sympathetic, mostly overweight, females who shop at Wal-mart, who think: "she's just like one of them."

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 11, 2008 10:20 AM

I'm not saying I feel bad for Jennifer Aniston, I just like her. I like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie too; I think all the stories about all three of them stopped being interesting three years ago.

And I'll probably regret saying this, but I like Rainbow Killer too. I think she's hot, she has good comedic timing, she's a decent actress, and I like the fact that she runs her mouth when she shouldn't. It makes her seem human.

Posted by: Marra at December 11, 2008 10:22 AM

...gnargh....

...gnnnrehm...

...hrrmng...

Nope, it's no use. I tried to care 'till I was blue in the face but I just don't give a shit.

Posted by: Pants at December 11, 2008 10:32 AM

BSlim,

The only reason Jolie is getting better press is because she is buying more kids than a vietnamese shoe factory.

Posted by: admin at December 11, 2008 10:33 AM

If she didn't want to still be talking about Brad Pitt in EVERY MOTHERFUCKING INTERVIEW four years later, all she'd have to do is tell the interviewer right up front, "Hey, I'm not going to talk about Brad." And then, if the interviewer asked her a question about it, simply repeat, "I will not be talking about Brad. Next question."

Problem solved. Except that if it weren't for Brad Pitt, no one would give a shit about her boring vanilla ass. At first, this shit made her sympathetic. Now, this shit just makes her seem pathetic.

GET LAID, BITCH.

Posted by: Clee Shay at December 11, 2008 10:39 AM

Still doesn't change the fact that she is.

The Movie Mob had sort of a retrospective "before they were stars" thing last week, and they showed a clip from Leprechaun with Aniston doing, her pre-Rachel thing.

Guess what? It WAS Rachel, this person has put ZERO effort on her craft.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 11, 2008 10:40 AM

Julie you can't say you don't like Office Space. Can't be done. Slim will escort you out.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at December 11, 2008 10:41 AM

Ross always was and always will be the most annoying friend. I loathe David Schwimmer on principle, despite never having seen an interview with him or any other movie he's in.

As for the "Comedy/Thriller/Thromedy" dilemma, maybe it's a comedy-thriller like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?

Posted by: Shay at December 11, 2008 10:45 AM

Oops! Then I lied, Optimus. I like her in ONE movie :)

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 10:45 AM

*cough* *cough*

Let me handle this Optimus.

Julie, the officially sanctioned position is: she managed not to fuck-up Office Space (or variations on that).

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 11, 2008 10:51 AM

True, my dear. It's not like I pop in that movie desperate to watch the scene where her hair is long and she wears shoes.

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 10:57 AM

...that her whole following comes from sympathetic, mostly overweight, females who shop at Wal-mart...

Hey! I have asked you repeatedly to stop stalking me Slim.

Posted by: Kelly at December 11, 2008 11:02 AM

Yes, Gerard Butler needs to do more stuff like 'RockNRolla', where he can be charming and still kick some ass. Or he at least needs to choose better romantic comedies, because COME ON I can't keep watching Hilary Swank attempt to be funny. It's very very painful.

Posted by: Mimi at December 11, 2008 11:02 AM

"Aniston, will just have to put up with being inferior to Jolie, in EVERYTHING."

Meh - I've kind of had it up to here with Jolie. We get it. You're gorgeous. You're reasonably talented whilst playing lunatics. You succeed when you attempt to steal other women's husbands (yes, they're more culpable for straying, but has girlfriend ever once attached herself to a single male, besides her brother?). You put your money where your mouth is when it comes to international human rights. You love children.

That said, I think she's incredibly manipulative and batshit crazy and I don't think Aniston is all-that-manipulative or batshit crazy.

I can't believe I'm weighing in on this.

Posted by: samantha t at December 11, 2008 11:06 AM

Man, Monica SUCKED.

Phoebe was THE BEST. Regina Filange is practically a kitsch icon.

Posted by: Sofía at December 11, 2008 11:06 AM

You mean Princess Consuela Bananahammock? :p

Posted by: Julie at December 11, 2008 11:09 AM

Hey! I have asked you repeatedly to stop stalking me Slim.

Posted by: Kelly at December 11, 2008 11:02 AM

Hey honey I'm within the law, the Restraining Order says a HUNDRED feet, a HUNDRED!

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at December 11, 2008 11:23 AM

I thought "The Good Girl" was pretty good.

And I like Jen, too, have for a long time, but ... please, girl, the Pitt shit is getting old. MOVE. ON.

Still ... I'm drawn to the tabs. They leave me so confused. One says "Brad to Jen: I'm sorry!" and the one next to it says: "Brad: 'Shut Up, Jen!'"

Who to believe ... who to believe ...

Posted by: bucdaddy at December 11, 2008 11:40 AM

... Hey honey I'm within the law, the Restraining Order says a HUNDRED feet, a HUNDRED!...

Okay, I'll give you that. Also, I guess you sort of have to admire the man who unabashedly sits in a lawn chair in the Walmart parking lot with a six pack and a pair of binoculars.

But the tiny Slim and Kelly dolls you keep mailing to my home are starting to seriously creep me out. They're scarily realistic, right down to the visible panty lines and tattoo on the left butt cheek.

And although I don't quite understand a fellow who would willingly have a fairy tattoo on his ass, I'm not one to judge.

Posted by: Kelly at December 11, 2008 12:33 PM

I give up. I've lost Gerard Butler to Hollywood's clutches.

RIP awesome Gerard Butler.

I used to LOVE Jennifer Aniston. She was funny and lovable on Friends and she made cute movies. But now? She just makes me feel sad for her, and she's not entirely blameless. She needs to get her love life the hell away from the cameras, and she needs to just flat-out refuse to talk about something that ended like three years ago. Hold your head up and go back to being awesome and not pitiful, Jen!

Posted by: figgy at December 11, 2008 12:33 PM

I don't get all the fuss about Gerard Butler. The guy's eyes stare in 2 different directions at the same time, and his mouth looks like an asshole. Add to that the fact that I haven't been able to sit through one of the guy's movies, including 300.

Posted by: jimbob at December 11, 2008 1:10 PM

movie about the violent, inhumane death of a misbehaving puppy dog

Why isn't that in the commercials? I might watch this if it was.

Posted by: Brian at December 11, 2008 1:11 PM

movie about the violent, inhumane death of a misbehaving puppy dog

Is she playing the dog?

Posted by: Rubble44 at December 11, 2008 2:22 PM

I like Jen Anniston, too. I like Office Space, and The Good Girl. I think she's funny and personable in interviews. As much as I don't like to admit it, I love (the first few seasons of) Friends. And she has a bangin' body.

I like Brad and Angie, too. They irritate me with their willing exploiting of their awesome lives (I love Brad so much and he looks at our kids with such a loving twinkle in his eyes! I'm so in love with Angie and she's such an honorable woman!), but they're both decent actors and they're pretty, so whatever.

It doesn't seem like any of the three are willing to shut up about what happened three years ago - or was it four years ago? - I wish interviewers would stop asking them about it. It's zzzzzzzz.

Posted by: kayla at December 11, 2008 2:40 PM

Bob Kelso!

Posted by: JJ McCLay at December 11, 2008 3:52 PM

I got warm and moist seeing Gerard in Attila. I haven't been dry since. A most uncomfortable feeling, mind you. Of course, I'll gladly shell my $10 to see him in anything -anything- at all, regardless of who else is in it or what it is about. And when he talks... damn, I have to go change again!

Posted by: Cuca at December 11, 2008 3:53 PM

I love the way Aniston handles herself in interviews. Everyone says Angelina Jolie is candid and unguarded, but come on, every word she says is highly calculated. Jennifer just says what she feels (when she's asked, it's not like she's initiating it). Let's face it, when she was avoiding the subject everyone was just saying she's such a mess she can't bear to talk about it. Now she's opened up she's obsessed. If she smiles, she's putting on a brave face, if she doesn't she's one step away from an institution. The woman can't win and she's no longer trying, she's just living her life.

Posted by: Daniel at December 11, 2008 8:04 PM

I think that no matter what, Jennifer still wins. Because she doesn't have six fucking kids to come home to every night.

Posted by: Dingles at December 11, 2008 8:22 PM

Count me in as a Jennifer Aniston supporter too. I think she's a decent comedic actress and I loved Friends til the end (for all of you rolling your eyes at me, you can just suck it). And I don't think she's totally responsible for the poor-pitiful Jen image either. Four years ago my boyfriend of three years, whom I was living with, cheated on me and eventually married the woman last summer, and I still passionately hate both of them. I would never bring this up to a stranger or even a friend, but if someone asked me about it, yeah, I'd have no problem letting them know I still dream of hearing the sound of his bones break by an alumnium baseball bat. How Jennifer Aniston manages to be gracious is something I could never do.

At the same time, I realize I'm not a celebrity and I think I might be more inclined to control what I said in front of reporters. So, I do think she does bring some of it upon herself, but I'll always defend her for not completely losing it. Because, let's face it, if you were in her situation, you might too.

Posted by: Austin at December 11, 2008 8:38 PM

So if Jennifer Aniston's appeal to average woman on the street is that she is "one of us"--in my mind it brings up Sarah Palin. I'm not an Aniston fan, but she deserves better than to be associated (even if in a very oblique manner) to the Caribou Barbie.

As for Gerard Butler--I paid to see Nim's Island. There. I did note that there were quite a few women (it was a Saturday matinee) in the theater who didn't bother to bring a kid as a cover (Nim's Island _did_ star a little girl). Shameless hussies. :-)

Posted by: True_Blue at December 11, 2008 9:01 PM

I got warm and moist seeing Gerard in Attila. I haven't been dry since. A most uncomfortable feeling, mind you. Of course, I'll gladly shell my $10 to see him in anything -anything- at all, regardless of who else is in it or what it is about. And when he talks... damn, I have to go change again!

Posted by: Cuca at December 11, 2008 3:53 PM

Oh, Lord. I hope you bathe regularly, Cuca.

And yes, meaux, I'm back. This new job of mine deposits me in time zones where I simply don't have the opportunity to participate in the action as it unfolds, and, as I explained to Dustin in an unanswered email, it's not nearly as much fun coming to the party after everyone has left. So I have a newfound appreciation for the international lurkers, because I now understand that they lurk not by choice but by circumstance.

Posted by: Che Grovera at December 11, 2008 10:16 PM

I finally agree with an ad at the top of the page. It's for Instant Action, a site I spend much, much too much time at outside of work. Fallen Empires: Legions is just way too much fun.

Posted by: Snath at December 12, 2008 9:14 AM