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Angelina Jolie Graces the Cover of Newsweek, Gives America Lethal Dose of the Heebie-Jeebies

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (50)



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(Source: Buzzfeed)









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Comments

WHAT. THE . HELL.

Posted by: Dominique at December 5, 2011 3:10 PM

Buscemi eyes?

Posted by: SanityFair at December 5, 2011 3:12 PM

Anti-photoshop PSA if I ever saw one.

Posted by: Pants at December 5, 2011 3:15 PM

Obviously photoshopped. Magnify the picture. Someone else's eyeballs are in those sockets (and not even pasted fully into the sockets either.

Posted by: Chris at December 5, 2011 3:16 PM

If her mission is to freak me the fuck out, well, then mission accomplished.

Posted by: Ghisent at December 5, 2011 3:19 PM

Why? WHY?! Would they do that to her eyes?! It's terrible, terrible! Make it stop!

Posted by: tamatha at December 5, 2011 3:19 PM

WTF?

Posted by: jp at December 5, 2011 3:19 PM

It's not at all photoshopped. The skin slips just a little exposing the horror within and you all just freak right out. She's not even showing any forked tongue, or eating any rats you guys!

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 5, 2011 3:19 PM

Well, duh.

Sorry, I am at a loss for words. After NaNoWriMo "well, duh" is just about all I can come up with.

Posted by: MRod at December 5, 2011 3:19 PM

Yeah you can find the real photo by googling Newsweek/Jolie, but that didn't stop me from shrieking and recoiling. Thanks for the cardio, Rowles.

Posted by: coveredinbees at December 5, 2011 3:20 PM

What the fuck is that?????

Posted by: Stacey at December 5, 2011 3:20 PM

Now I am curious. Why DO we need Europe?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 5, 2011 3:22 PM

Posted by: Martin at December 5, 2011 3:24 PM

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

Posted by: Tara at December 5, 2011 3:25 PM

That was Bachmanneyezed.

Posted by: Robert at December 5, 2011 3:33 PM

This is necessary why?

Posted by: Joel at December 5, 2011 3:33 PM

I love the Pajiba community even more tonight as I scroll through all of the WTF, What the Hell?, and Why?! comments because that is exactly how I feel right now and all of you get it. I love you.

Posted by: Iris at December 5, 2011 3:38 PM

We need Europe for the cheese and for La Maison Du Chocolat. Wait. That's why we need the French. Let me think about this some more...

Even with the freaky eyes, Jolie is still better looking than 99.5% of the people on the planet.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at December 5, 2011 3:39 PM

New Soundgarden video in the works? Sweet.

Posted by: dorquemada at December 5, 2011 3:39 PM

Sweet fancy Moses!

Posted by: Colin at December 5, 2011 3:49 PM

Even with the fake eyes she's still the most amazingly, awesome, gorgeous, person in this universe.

My blueprints for her Temple are almost complete.

Posted by: Ethan at December 5, 2011 3:53 PM

Strange....Her eyes are open. It's as if she's trying to see straight into your heart.

Wait a second...I've seen this before.

She's guarding the Southern Oracle!

Oh no! Don't start to doubt, yourselves....Be Confident!

Run Pajibans! Run! Now!!!!!

*FWOOOOOSH!!!

Posted by: bleujayone at December 5, 2011 3:56 PM

Is she wearing those Lady Gaga contacts?
Also, her lips are aging quite gracefully; like a grape turning into a raisin, many would be happy to eat either one.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at December 5, 2011 3:59 PM

{pees a little}

I'm scared!

Posted by: MM at December 5, 2011 4:02 PM

Les yeux, elles n'est pas Jolie!

Posted by: Bert at December 5, 2011 4:28 PM

Leave it to that irrelevant rag of a magazine known as Newsweek to go ahead and fuck up Angelina Jolie, too.

What garbage it has become.

Posted by: Some Guy at December 5, 2011 4:37 PM

Dorqumada-I was thinking the same thing! "Black Hole Sun!" Cripes is that creepy!

Posted by: Helkat at December 5, 2011 4:44 PM

"Mars needs women". Looks like Dr. Nadir found the love he needed & had offspring.

The Truth is "out there"!

Posted by: Harold ballard's ghost at December 5, 2011 4:46 PM

Persia Khambhatta redux?

Posted by: Harold ballard's ghost at December 5, 2011 4:47 PM

I meant PERSIS not Persia. Fucking I-Pad auto-correct!

Question for tech-savvy: How does one disable the auto correct thingy on the I-Pad... Y'know, that annoying little digi-zit that pops up when typing unfamiliar words. WTF, I know how to spell, I don't need no Apple product suggestiin' what's right or what ain't.

Sincere thanx in advance to anyone who can help.

Posted by: Harold ballard's ghost at December 5, 2011 4:54 PM

I would like to take this opportunity to compliment Harold Ballard's ghost for managing to continue screwing up the Leafs from beyond the grave. It is you, isn't it?

Posted by: A Torontonian at December 5, 2011 5:00 PM

Is she still trying to pass herself off as Morticia Addams? Hasn't that ship sailed already.

Posted by: John W at December 5, 2011 5:14 PM

Harold Ballard's ghost

Settings -> General -> Keyboard -> Auto-Correct

Posted by: Schpida at December 5, 2011 5:40 PM

Can we all agree now that she is not attractive?

Like a seven layer burrito, she has all the ingredients to be attractive. But she is not and leaves you bloated. And horrified.

Posted by: james at December 5, 2011 6:00 PM

Her steady transformation into a wraith is almost complete.

Posted by: Zsa Zsa Binks at December 5, 2011 6:27 PM

When she asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes!"

Posted by: cthulhu_dog at December 5, 2011 6:28 PM

Are you speaking ill of the 7 layer burrito James? Because if so then beans, ground beef, salsa, sour cream, gummi bears, gruyere and finely diced beef jerky may have a bone to pick with you.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 5, 2011 6:30 PM

Whoa, I think I soaked my gummie bears in way to much vodka. Oh wait, photo shop. Gimme another handful of sweet vodka goodness.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at December 5, 2011 6:36 PM

Succubus.

Posted by: , at December 5, 2011 6:56 PM

, ,"Succubus."

Correct.

Posted by: jayco at December 6, 2011 12:18 AM

Yikes. This photoshop makes it look like she should be shaking Elijah Wood down for her precioussss.

Posted by: Inaras at December 6, 2011 12:58 AM

I like it.

Posted by: Lucas at December 6, 2011 6:16 AM

Will somebody PLEASE get that poor thing a Big Mac?

Posted by: My Buddy Keith at December 6, 2011 8:55 AM

cthulhu_dog FTW! Eloquent Eloquence take note.

And @ , and jayco, that's not a succubus, this is a succubus.

Posted by: NateS1973 at December 6, 2011 9:36 AM

fapfapfapfapfap

...what?

Posted by: Craig at December 6, 2011 9:45 AM

Buscemi's eyes are awesome. Yes, I am here merely to annoy by talking only about him, but man...they're awesome. This, however, is a little bit terrifying.

Posted by: deepestahhhhhh at December 6, 2011 11:49 AM

I am sorry, while the Bachman eyes are creepy, her non-photoshopped hands are creepy too! They really do look like skeleton hands.

Posted by: Muertemaria at December 6, 2011 11:57 AM

It actually looks like someone took her eyeballs and photoshopped them in upside down. Right?

Posted by: alexis at December 6, 2011 1:48 PM

Buscemi eyes?
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Posted by: kengao at December 6, 2011 10:59 PM