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They’re Remaking that Rooster Sex Movie

Whatever Happened to Lisa Bonet / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 1, 2008 | Comments (39)

I’ve seen Angel Heart once, and I was probably 15 at the time. I have only the vaguest recollection of what the movie was about — a detective and the devil are in cahoots and DeNiro is the devil? — except that, at one point, Lisa Bonet — known only to me as Denise Huxtable at the time — had sex with a rooster. Am I remembering that correctly? She had sex with a goddamn rooster? Don’t ask me why she did this, but “The Cosby Show” was never the same after that. Nor was Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I bring this up, of course, because Hollywood wants to remake Angel Heart, recognizing that there aren’t enough movies for that prized rooster-sex demographic. No cast or director have been put in place yet, but I’m sure that PETA is prepping a protest somewhere.

Looking through the iMDB user comments, it seems that my vague recollections don’t do the movie justice, as one commenter writes, “I was stunned at what this film did to me. An absolutely brilliant display of psychological horror. Alan Parker made the scariest film of the eighties, maybe the scariest film of the second half of the century with this picture. The hell with “Psycho”, “Angel Heart” is where it’s at if you want horror.” In fact, the lion’s share of the comments review the movie favorably (and it has an overall 7.2 user rating), all of which suggests that Hollywood should probably leave well enough alone. Which, of course, means that they won’t. So, bring on the roosters.


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Comments

How do you have sex with a rooster if you're a woman? Birds don't have sticky outty parts.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 1, 2008 11:14 AM

Actually I thought "The Believers" was the superior poultry magic film.

Points for style but I don't remember "Angel Heart" scaring me much.

Posted by: Jay at October 1, 2008 11:17 AM

I never saw this movie, as I had no interest at the time. At this time, I have no interest in a remake. I'm just not that into bestiality. (And by "not that into", I mean, "ew".)

BWeaves, beaks are sticky outty parts. Otherwise, I imagine it's like dry-humping (which, since apparently this has different meanings to different people, means humping through one's pants in my mind).

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 11:19 AM

BWeaves, I agree: how the hell? I'm traumatized at the idea. The only sticky outty part I can think of is the beak.

And... now I'm just cringing at the thought of having a rooster's beak anywhere near (or in) my lady bits. What if it bites?

Posted by: Pea at October 1, 2008 11:19 AM

BWeaves, I'm just trying really hard not to think about it, because all I can come up with is some kind of dry-humping scenario and I'm sure no one has any fun that way. Not Lisa Bonet and certainly not the rooster. For the record, I have not seen this movie.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at October 1, 2008 11:21 AM

Apparently Ms.von Beaverplatz and I are of one perverted mind on the topic. Glad I'm not alone.

Posted by: Genny (also Rusty) at October 1, 2008 11:24 AM

Dustin, I recommend that you re-watch Angel Heart. It really is a terrific movie, sort of a noir-mystery/suspense-horror that ties its story lines together at the end with a genuine jolt. DeNiro is on screen probably about four minutes total, and he's unforgettable; Rourke's performance may strike you as only passable--until you get to the end of the story.

I love it for its look (the portrayal of New Orleans and the LA countryside is so evocative you can almost smell the decay) and for the way it keeps the Voodoo elements accurate while still making them scary as hell (something most films using Voodoo fail to do).

Ms. Bonet does not have sex with the chicken, but I can understand your teenage confusion--that scene's sexy and disturbing in equal measure.

This movie was one of three of our very first DVD purchases when we finally got ourselves a DVD player.

Posted by: Jerce at October 1, 2008 11:24 AM

I haven't seen this movie, nor its rooster scene. For me the best poultry fucking scene (or scene with two people fucking with a chicken between them) remains in Pink Flamingos. That chicken was real...fuck.

Posted by: a. at October 1, 2008 11:26 AM

No no no no no fucking no!

This is my favorite movie. I adore Mickey Rourke and am appalled that anyone would tarnish one of the good movies he has made. He's terrific in this, and come one, Robert De Niro is a million time better as Satan that Pacino was.

This film is based on a novel, so the only way the remake could be relevant would be if it sticks to the book, which has no chicken killing, much less imagined chicken sex.

Posted by: courtney at October 1, 2008 11:30 AM

Aaaaand my Netflix queue gets another entry.

Posted by: Mella at October 1, 2008 11:31 AM

Ha! And Pea also, Genny/Rusty. Great minds (great, perverted, whatevs) think alike, no?

Posted by: Anna "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 11:34 AM

Cock-a-doodle-huh?

I remember the movie. I can't tell you doodly-squat about it other than I saw Denise's boobs covered in blood. Unfortunately, that scene has cost me a pretty penny in the kinky hooker department. That, and I'm not allowed at the butcher shop anymore...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at October 1, 2008 11:40 AM

Is that the one where a woman is killed via close-range gunshot to the hoo-hah?

Posted by: firedmyass at October 1, 2008 11:42 AM

yes it is firedmyass. I dunno, I thought this movie was okay. Kinda cheesy. Not worth remaking, that;s for sure.

Posted by: s. pisaster at October 1, 2008 11:57 AM

BORING. I found this movie extremely boring. I'm a sick Mickey Rourke fan (I find myself often quoting lines from Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, that's how sick!) yet it was boring.

Except for the part where he and Lisa Bonet have sex that makes blood run from the walls, or something like that. I was young, I had HBO, my parents weren't around...

The rooster scene is not that great, for all you who were wondering. More eyebrow raising for me, but then again, I admire Lisa Bonet's beauty on a purely aesthetic level.

I wonder though...who will be cast as the devil? My guess is Adam Sandler. Yes, he would be such a subtle, dignified devil. And he could sport that crazy mustache/goatee thing from that movie where he played an Israeli hairdresser. What the hell was that called?

Posted by: Rachael at October 1, 2008 12:11 PM

"Cock-a-doodle-huh?"

HA! That was FUNNIER THAN HELL! Instead of taking "cock-a-doodle-doo" you made it "cock-a-doodle-huh"! Oh my god, that is priceless! If you don't mind, I'm going to write that one down and next time I'm at a farm or a Kentucky Fried Chicken and there's something mildly out of the ordinary, BAM! Cock-a-doodle-huh? Hopefully there'll be a small crowd gathered around - you can't waste greatness like that on one or two people! Oh, the laughs I'll receive! Perhaps there'll even be a member of the opposite sex who finds your borrowed pun so deliciously clever they'll offer me five minutes of filthy, no-holds-barred restroom sex. Or I could have it made into a "hipster" t-shirt that will draw attention to myself and perhaps attain even more promises of sweaty, cursing, back-alley dumpster coitus. Thank you, good sir - thank you for your cleverness!

Posted by: I hate myself at October 1, 2008 12:17 PM

If I remember correctly, didn't Bill Cosby pretty much cut her out of the show after she starred in this? Didn't they bring in the oldest, never-before-mentioned sister, or something ridiculous like that?

Posted by: Conrad (last name withheld) at October 1, 2008 12:24 PM

i think her name was sondra. and she had that raven chick as her kid.

Posted by: Stanley Sobriesky at October 1, 2008 12:29 PM

A movie about a woman fucking a cock? How is that a new idea?

Posted by: Sofía at October 1, 2008 12:33 PM

Piss up a rope I hate myself. Raven/Olivia was Denise's stepchild - and ultimately, the point when the show started sucking dirty hobo scrote.

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at October 1, 2008 12:34 PM

...and they call me Sybil...

Posted by: "Sybil" "Knife Pile" von Beaverplatz at October 1, 2008 12:47 PM

"A movie about a woman fucking a cock? How is that a new idea?"

Yeah! I've got over three hundred movies that have the same plotli... uh, nevermind. Hey, them's just jokes right there. I don't even like porn - heck, I've never even seen one! I think they're degrading and completely unrealistic - especially Dirty Drunk Short Chicks 17: A Creamed Corn Cornucopia of Coed Cornholing, Part IV. So I've heard...

Posted by: Skittimus Maximus at October 1, 2008 12:48 PM

Angel Heart was great! But I was also 15 when I watched it...but De Niro played Satan better than Pacino in that other movie, that's for sure.

Posted by: vinniedelpino at October 1, 2008 12:59 PM

And Sofia beats me to the woman/cock joke.

See Skitt, I felt the DDSC17: ACCCCC series lost it's way after part two. They got too commercial what with all the name brand lubes and anal beads. Everything was a product placement. And I mean that in the dirtiest way.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at October 1, 2008 1:20 PM

Chicken fucking is just too far gone for me. I've got to get out of this thread.

Posted by: Cindy at October 1, 2008 1:20 PM

I think that Angel Heart, which I have not seen, was based on a novel by William Hortsberg called Nevermore. I read it years ago and don't remember anything other than it was a variation on the Faust theme.

Posted by: Arkansan at October 1, 2008 2:10 PM

I can't BELIEVE no one has mentioned the DeNiro hard boiled egg-peeling.....that was Louis Cephyr at his best, simply disturbing.

Posted by: janazombie at October 1, 2008 2:30 PM

Angel Heart is a great movie, one of my favorites from the 80's, with a great cast. I've seen it several times over the years, and it's a differnet experience every time. Made back when Rourke was an actor, before he quit to pursue boxing and became the freak he is today. A remake will be a steaming pile of crap.

Posted by: Raleigh at October 1, 2008 4:08 PM

Eh, she doesn't fuck the rooster. She naked-dances and then slices the rooster's throat and pours the blood over her boobs. Not so much fun for the poultry.

Posted by: Ginger at October 1, 2008 4:28 PM

All I remember of this movie is watching the second half of it with Greek subtitles. It was confusing. I definitely didn't see the cock-fucking part so they either cut it out for Greek television or it was in the first half of the movie.

Also: Butchered cock bleeding on naked boobs. That's something I never want to see.

Posted by: the_wakeful at October 1, 2008 5:09 PM

She didn't have sex with it. She butchered it in a voodoo ceremony and rubbed its blood all over her naked body, and I think there may have been sex with a blood-besmeared random dude; but there was no actual poultry-on-Bonet action.

Seriously though, give it another watch, it's a good flick. I don't know if it's OOGA BOOGA scary, but it's definately unsettling. Why are they even making it again?

Oh right, because Hollywood is stupid and unoriginal.

Posted by: louveciennes at October 1, 2008 5:42 PM

@Arkansan It is based on a book by Hjortsberg, but the title is Falling Angel. I just read it over the weekend. While the first two thirds of the book are great, the last third is ricockulously terrible (Satanists sacrifice a baby at a black mass! How fucking shocking!).

The movie is infinitely better, and gets rid of the bullshit black mass.

Posted by: Samuel Erikson at October 1, 2008 6:11 PM

Cosby brought Olivia/Raven in as a character when Rudy, the youngest Huxtable, outgrew her little kid cuteness.

Posted by: rlr260 at October 1, 2008 7:13 PM

The point? What's the point?

WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT?

Oh yeah ... 10,000 movies screens can't go blank.

That's the second time I've been forced to use that rationale today.

Posted by: bucdaddy at October 1, 2008 9:42 PM

So...I guess I'm the only one that read the title and immediately thought that they were remaking Pink Flamingoes?

Posted by: Renee at October 1, 2008 10:32 PM

I kinda vaguely remember this movie from my youth, for some reason the only thing that comes to mind is DeNiro in a white suit eating a hard boiled egg.

Posted by: Pookie at October 1, 2008 10:59 PM

Well, I know what Lisa Bonet is doing at the moment: being pregnant with her second child by the smoking hot Jason Momoa (Ronon Dex on Stargate: Atlantis). Between Jason and Lenny Kravitz, you really can't fault her taste in men.

Posted by: Darkrose at October 2, 2008 3:41 AM

I hate how every goddamn comment on pajiba is so obviously shilling for a spot in the goddamn top comments of the week post anymore.

Posted by: goddamnit at October 2, 2008 11:46 AM

It's good to see that ignorance of your subject doesn't prevent you from writing about it.

Posted by: blyslv at October 2, 2008 5:39 PM