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Stephenie Meyer Continues Her Assult on the Multiplex

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (26)



new-moon-wolf-pack.jpg

Stephenie Meyer, the illiterate, bed-post eating author of the Twilight series, apparently, at some point last year, managed to string together another 50,000 words or so into some sort of semi-coherent fashion. The result was a novel called, The Host. It’s a sci-fi love story set in the near future. Per Wikipedia: “The novel introduces an alien race, called souls, who take over Earth and its inhabitants. The book describes one soul’s predicament when the mind of its human host refuses to cooperate with her takeover.”

I’m surprised no one (to my knowledge) read it for the Cannonball Read.

Anyway, Nick Wechsler, Steve and Paula Mae Schwartz have secured the rights to the novel and hired Andrew Niccol (Gattaca) to somehow make sense of Meyer’s sentence fragments and muddled metaphors. He’s also attached to direct the movie.

Save for S1mone, Niccol has had a pretty great run as writer/director (he’s also responsible for the underappreciated Lord of War and he scripted The Truman Show). I suspect he’ll have a difficult challenge adapting Meyer’s work. I haven’t read it, mind you, but I like to shit on Meyer as much as the next guy, so I’m assuming that the end product will share little more in common with the novel than the title and concept. Niccol is too smart for that shit.

I wonder if the aliens glitter, too?









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Comments

Keep fucking that chicken.

Posted by: Brittany at September 23, 2009 6:15 PM

I wish they would not go to there.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at September 23, 2009 6:20 PM

Keep fucking that chicken.

HA!

I wish they would not go to there.

HAAAAAAAA! Good one.

So this has nothing to do with that Korean movie The Host? And it has nothing to do with vampires? Now I'm really confused.

Posted by: MM at September 23, 2009 6:26 PM

So... it's two people in one body? Is this gonna be like "All of Me," only substitute angsty teens for funny comedians?

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at September 23, 2009 6:27 PM

Not so fast there, Dustin, It's 97th on my list. Because I'm a masochist, you see.

Posted by: Marra at September 23, 2009 7:14 PM

Sounds like a pathetic rip-off of K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series. Yeerks, anyone?

Posted by: TryScience at September 23, 2009 8:14 PM

Dustin, we need to talk.

Please. PLEASE. PLEASE STOP USING THAT PHOTO.

For the love of everything holy, please let me forget. I'm begging you here. PLEAAAAAAAASE! it's my birthday man, you gotta give me that one thing.

Posted by: figgy at September 23, 2009 9:35 PM

Happy Birthday, figgy!

Do you need us to send you a fruit basket or something? The headlines about Hondurans having nothing to eat are slightly worrisome to those of us here in the land of plenty.

And I agree. Dustin, quit using that picture. It's. . . icky.

Posted by: MM at September 23, 2009 9:44 PM

I've read it. Didn't do it for the cannonball read. I was sick and my sister bought it for me because she thought I liked the author.

I can't confirm nor deny that it is a good book, I suspect it is bad. Although I thought it was good, but that may have been my drug induced hallucinations that took a crappy book and made it better.

Posted by: DoubleH at September 23, 2009 9:46 PM

Y'know, that's actually a good idea for a story, but fucking Stephanie Meyer would undout- ably ruin everything about it with her unbearable writing style, crappy characters, and no ability to advance the plot.

Still, it couldn't be worst than the frigging Twilight Saga. (Saga? Nobody calls there own work a saga, especially not in the damn title. God, I hate you, Stephanie Meyer.)

Posted by: George at September 23, 2009 9:59 PM

Whoaaaa. Did you say Lord of War was under-rated? It's only under-rated because the ratings for it were soooo soooo low. They were so low they were in the bottom of an ancient forgotten cave system and the critics rating it that low had to battle a clan of deformed Morlocks.
To be concise, that movie whomps.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at September 23, 2009 10:27 PM

a good place___Sugarloves.Com___
the old rich man seek young sexy girl and laddy seek young boy!!!! sugar daddy who likes to spoil me, a young sex and hot woman ,now crazy time!!

Posted by: deephands at September 23, 2009 11:16 PM

I'm going to hold back my automatic dismissal of the project because maybe it's a genius move by Niccol. The studio knows they can get an opening weekend out of Meyer's name, and thats enough to take to maybe take some studio pressure of Niccol, because they're more focused on Twilight for the next 3 years. He can take the fairly generic but maybe interesting concept and go with it. He's got Gattaca, Truman Show, and Lord of War, so I'm willing to see where someone with some original ideas and vision goes with a mainstream movie.

Posted by: e at September 23, 2009 11:27 PM

I know I am going to get all sorts of hell for this, but I actually liked the book (and I couldn't get through ten pages of her first Twilight saga book).

Posted by: shake at September 24, 2009 12:03 AM

Sounds like a pathetic rip-off of K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series. Yeerks, anyone?

Posted by: TryScience at September 23, 2009 8:14 PM

That's exactly what I thought when I read the summary. VISSER THREE WAS THE BIG DOG.

Posted by: duckandcover at September 24, 2009 3:45 AM

Sounds like a pathetic rip-off of K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series. Yeerks, anyone?

Posted by: TryScience at September 23, 2009 8:14 PM

That's exactly what I thought when I read the summary. VISSER THREE WAS THE BIG DOG.

Posted by: duckandcover at September 24, 2009 3:45 AM

^I 3rd that.

Posted by: Lydia at September 24, 2009 5:25 AM

I'm with figgy, Dustin. Move on from this photo. You have to be in double digits by now. If I want to see shirtless Mexicans, I'll walk into my yard and look to my right. A large family lives next door, you see. The men love Modelo beer and feeling the warm breeze across their nips. Oh, and leaving the grandmother to walk with a four and five year old to the grocery store 4 miles down the road while they detail their SUV that has rims worth more than my house.

And I'm pretty sure they're not werewolves.

Posted by: Kballs at September 24, 2009 8:06 AM

I love Lord of War. Everybody go watch that now and forget about this Meyer shit. Yeah, it's got Nicholas Cage in it but I'm telling you he is awesome in this film. I could never understand why it didn't do so well. I bet The Host will top the box office as soon as it is released.

*goes into the corner to puke*

Posted by: barf at September 24, 2009 9:30 AM

It's a thick fucking book too. Y'oughta see the large print edition. Damn!

Posted by: Jay at September 24, 2009 9:41 AM

At least they let that kid take off his Johnny Runningbear wig for the sequel. Willikers, that was bad.

Posted by: Jay at September 24, 2009 9:44 AM

I didn't really mind the book either, though admittedly, I experienced it via audiobook while commuting to and form work last summer. Perhaps not having to see the words makes her writing less cringe-worthy?

I thought the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" from the point of view of a Body Snatcher premise was interesting, thought it did devolve into equal parts sci-fi and barfo, female protagonist hyper-devoted to her man romance. The narrator wailing for Jarrod got pretty grating. There's also the undeniable Mormon missionary thing at work, as the aliens are a harmless race who only want to heal and protect the planet... by conquering the minds of the present inhabitants.

Posted by: Vuhdanessa at September 24, 2009 9:52 AM

For the love, enough with the glitter jokes already. It's been done into the ground and then a couple more times for good measure. And I love that the guy talking about how "illiterate" a published author is that found her niche (however undescriminating that niche may be) and made a name for herself (and truckloads of money) can't for the life of him figure out where to (and where not to) put a comma.

Posted by: Abbey Road at September 24, 2009 9:57 AM

TryScience, that's exactly what I was gonna say.

Posted by: dsbs at September 24, 2009 2:28 PM

I've read it. It's not bad. Seriously. Better writing than Twilight, anyway. And I can see it being made into a decent movie if done right.

Posted by: Lillie at September 24, 2009 2:37 PM

If you've never read it then shut up already. And no they don't glitter how about if your going to tell a joke make sure it's a good one.
YOUR JUST LAME HOW ABOUT GOING AWAY !

Posted by: Sia at April 26, 2010 6:38 PM

I think Katherine Applegate has to sue Stephanie Meyer and hire a lawyer...

about copyright issues..

THE HOST IS A ripoff of animorph series...

the soul,, similar to yeerks..

Posted by: michael at August 15, 2010 12:49 AM


















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