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And Nothing Can Ever Be The Same

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (40)

meatloaf-hot-patootie-157.jpg

Why, why, why do you want to mess with perfection, Fox 2000? For that matter, can’t Ryan Murphy recognize an original that must be left alone? Don’t you industry people know how to leave anything alone? Deadline is reporting that Eat, Pray, Love and “Glee” man, Ryan Murphy is in discussions to direct an updated version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Remakes are going to drive me to drink (Okay yes, I admit it’s possible I was drinking already).

I don’t even watch “Glee” but I’m already sick of reading news about how they’re doing this Britney episode or that Madonna tribute. And next up is the “Glee” version of Rocky Horror but apparently that just isn’t enough for Fox. They want the whole frakking Frank-N-Furter and they want to pour gobs of kechup all over it (for the record, if you’re over five, never ever put ketchup on a hot dog). It’s one thing to have a goofy show about kids in school pretending they’re good enough to pay homage but it’s a whole other thing to take on a cult classic and Godtopus dammit, if he fills this thing with teenagers I’ll kill Murphy myself. You cannot replace Tim Curry. You cannot fill the shoes of Susan Sarandon with a nasal Lea Michelle and a perm. Barry Bostwick, people!



Honestly, if anyone attempts a remake at all, death and destruction are the only acceptable responses. If there is any further talk of messing with this wild and untamed thing, we must fire up the Murdertank, round up the ammo and kill, kill, kill.









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Comments

I have never seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". Or "Glee" for that matter. So... Yeah.

Posted by: FordbiddenDonut at October 19, 2010 5:45 PM

Ryan Murphy: He had a certain naive charm, but no real muscle.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 19, 2010 5:46 PM

Wasn't MTV planning a remake?

[GLEE SPOILER] By the way, guess who was cast as Frank-N-Furter on Glee's next episode? Yup, Mercedes. AND she's singing "Sweet Transvestite". Because that makes perfect sense. [/GLEE SPOILER]

Posted by: Thijs at October 19, 2010 5:50 PM

See what you've done, you fools?

Posted by: Jay at October 19, 2010 5:51 PM

Even before Murphy said he'd like to do this remake, I knew he was a no-good kid
But now he's threatened Transylvania with a bout of remake mania.

What a guy!

Makes me cry!


Though I will say... the possibility of an angry fish-net-clad mob wielding freeze rays and small pick axes fills me with no small amount of antici............pation.

Okay. I'm done now.

Posted by: thenchonto at October 19, 2010 5:54 PM

Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, Meatloaf, and Richard O'Brien: hard to top. But I wouldn't mind seeing a remake if only to hear a fresh version of the score, because, come on: the original recording is TERRIBLUS MAXIMUS. "Over at the Frankenstein Place" is an awesome song when it's not a dirge, for example.

Also, just because they're remaking it doesn't mean we have to burn all copies of the original. If the remake sucks, then we shall shun it, and proper.

Posted by: Ian at October 19, 2010 5:55 PM

the original is a stage musical, meant to be staged and restaged with different casts and musicians. while i cannot imagine anyone upstaging the film, why not let people try.

there are far worse things in the world than introducing any new people to RHPS.

In today's oversexed age, i wonder if the whole thing might seem less potent. I grew up in a pretty conservative repressive kind of atmosphere in a time quite a while before the internet, and RH wasn't just fun and silly, it was mind blowing. I just can't see it having the same impact on a teenager today. but then, i dont know any teenagers.

Posted by: idleprimate at October 19, 2010 5:59 PM

Gut reaction: HELL TO THE FUCKING NO.
However, it might be fun to make up new comebacks to suit the new version. And can they make it so that it's not a constant wink to the audience? Because the Hairspray re-make was fucking awful and painfully pointless. So if Murphy is going to HighSchoolMusical it up, the money stays in my pocket anyways.

shananana it ain't no crime....

Posted by: Chickaboom at October 19, 2010 6:50 PM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Rose no longer tints my world, nothing but trouble and pain now, makes me cry :'-(

Is nothing sacred?? Why not a re-release?? Why they gotta do like this?

Posted by: Rest In Peace at October 19, 2010 6:51 PM

No, this is a terrible idea. No one wants this.

Posted by: Steph at October 19, 2010 6:58 PM

@Bweaves.... I love you...

Posted by: Luke at October 19, 2010 7:08 PM

What's wrong with putting ketchup on a hotdog?!?

I agree with everything else you're saying, though.

The songs for the Glee version have been released, and they changed some of the lyrics to make them more "acceptable." "Sweet transvestite, from SENSATIONAL Transylvania" I mean REALLY??

Posted by: TarHeel at October 19, 2010 7:08 PM

"Sweet transvestite, from SENSATIONAL Transylvania"

See what you've done, you fools?

Posted by: Jay at October 19, 2010 7:13 PM

Okay, this troubles me. I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Going to see it at midnight was a seminal act of teenage rebellion. Yes, I was a complete nerd. I even like Glee on the weeks when it doesn't annoy the hell out of me. BUT: the Glee recasting just sounds stupid. Mercedes as Frank-N-Furter? Now Kurt was probably too easy but Puck as Frank-N-Furter works, or even Will. And the idea of remaking the movie? You know someobody's scoping out a role for that Bieber-creature.

Where's my cane?

Posted by: Abby at October 19, 2010 7:13 PM

Fuck you Fox and fuck you, people who put ketchup on hot dogs.

Posted by: JenVegas at October 19, 2010 7:28 PM

don't think it needs a rerelease as it's never really left the theatres. It screens several times a year in my city, and screened more frequently when i was younger.

Posted by: idleprimate at October 19, 2010 7:44 PM

sacrilege

Posted by: splinter at October 19, 2010 7:53 PM

Psycho
Godzilla
Village of the Damned
The Day the Earth Stood Still
Planet of the Apes

If when I mentioned any of these movies, you thought of Vince Vaughn, Matthew Broderick, Kirstie Alley, Neo, or Marky Mark then you have proven my point wrong (and/or have no taste).

Let them have their stupid remake. Everything will still be in its rightful place.

Posted by: dagnabbit at October 19, 2010 8:01 PM

i'm breathless with antici-tici-tici-pation.

oh wait, that was me hyperventilating upon hearing the news.

carry on.

Posted by: stopthemadness aka Angry Black Lady at October 19, 2010 8:13 PM

I agree that it won't have the same impact, because there were no LGBTQ organizations or support groups when this came out. Most folks didn't realize people COULD transition to another gender. It was possible to think a couple in their mid-20s would be as naive as Brad and Janet. I think the basic aspects of the play/movie would be difficult to sell in this day and age, unless it was done as a period piece. In which case, why not watch the original, preferably with a remastered audio track?

Posted by: Reba at October 19, 2010 8:47 PM

I see you shiver with antici...

Posted by: Lucas at October 19, 2010 9:05 PM

...pation.

Posted by: Lucas at October 19, 2010 9:06 PM

Good god. I may start cutting my cable.

...And internet.

It won't have much impact on today's society, but there are people still out there that are huge bigots about everything. My parents are only in their 40's (Barley, in their 40's and mostly open-minded.) and are still unclear whether or not they want my younger sisters, who are 14 and 15 to see the original. And my Mom freaking LOVES Meatloaf. She screams Paradise By the Dashboard Light any chance she gets.

Honestly, I was kind of excited upon hearing that Glee was going to do this, especially as a Halloween episode. And really, I think it's mostly because of what most people are saying about it. A kind of...revamping of the audio tracks. That would be nice! Except for the unnecessary "blurring" of words that are ridiculously harmless.

And one more thing: WTF with Mercedes as Frank N Furter? I fucking hate Mercedes. I always have. Black thunder this, black thunder that...blah, blah, blah, Shut Up. I hope there was at least a fight for that spot. A nasty shove-your-face-in-glass fight.

Posted by: Candee at October 19, 2010 9:42 PM

Broken glass. I forgot that part.

Posted by: Candee at October 19, 2010 9:44 PM

Okay, look:

The people who were lucky enough to see the original London production of The Rocky Horror Show on stage had this same sort of reaction to the news that the show would go on in New York with a different cast.

And fans of both stage productions rolled their eyes and sneered when word got out that there was going to be a movie.

The movie so many of us love is considered by many to be a watered-down, neutered commercialization of the real deal.

What I'm trying to say is, don't get your fishnets in a twist, darlings.

Posted by: Jerce at October 19, 2010 9:56 PM

what a weird response to making the film. it was produced by and starred mostly the same people as the stage production. people are just never happy.

Posted by: idleprimate at October 19, 2010 10:37 PM

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Is it asshole day and someone forgot to tell me. Seriously this has been the worst fucking day and NOW THIS!!! Stay the fuck away from my Rocky mainstream America. I hate you and you hate me lets keep it that way.

Posted by: E-Money at October 19, 2010 10:58 PM

Don't you tell me how to eat my hot dogs, Cindy Magdalena de la Gracia de la Santa COncepcion de la Cruz Davis!

Posted by: figgy at October 19, 2010 11:20 PM

1. "You cannot replace Tim Curry" - amen! That man in that film helped to make me, a full-blooded straight girl, a fan of gay porn.

2. I can put kechup [sic] on anything I want, including Tim Curry holding a hotdog. Down with condiment conservatives!

Posted by: mfg at October 20, 2010 1:24 AM

"Sweet transvestite, from SENSATIONAL Transylvania" I mean REALLY??

Whatttt?? Isn't Glee supposed to be a show all about inclusion and tolerance? But they can't cast a guy as Frank-N-Furter and can't even use the word 'transexual'? There better be a FUCKING good explanation for this.

Posted by: Thijs at October 20, 2010 3:38 AM

Do not want. The original is perfect, right down to Columbia's accidental nipple peek. This film is not remakeable. I repeat, his film is not remakeable.

Oh, and fuck Richard Hartley.

Posted by: EJ at October 20, 2010 4:16 AM

Maybe the Glee version will cause some people to go watch the original who had never seen it.

Posted by: mswas at October 20, 2010 6:16 AM

I don't feel like searching the comments for who else mentioned this, but my primary objection is that this movie is STILL PLAYING in theaters. You can catch a midnight showing of Rocky in a lot of places on any given Saturday night.

I'm not thrilled with the idea of this remake - I was in a really great shadowcast for almost 3 years. I don't think it needs another, flashier, updated version. I think what works is that it IS dated, and should be. I'll be unlikely to attend, but mostly because they are likely to cast people I think are terrible. However, I'm not getting up in arms about it, either. My original film will still be playing - no remake is gonna change what we use for cult showings.

Posted by: KatSings at October 20, 2010 9:59 AM

As to remaking RHPS, who cares? I mean, if they try to remake The Color Purple or Sophie's Choice, alert the media. But RHPS? That shit is all but unwatchable after the first half anyway. Maybe they'll just extend it, cut the second half, and make a decent movie with a decent soundtrack.

But my friend, telling me I can't put ketchup on my HOT DOGS? I ask you where you get off. I can put anything I want on my damned hot dog. I will never understand the snobbery and passion when it comes to hot dog toppings. I mean you people do know they're just masking the taste of pressed, formed pork parts right? It's not like you're glopping Heinz 57 on a month-ageed filet. It's a fucking hot dog, people.

Posted by: The Pink Hulk at October 20, 2010 10:28 AM

The tv show is set in a high school in Lima, Ohio. I have no problem at all with the conceit that a high school Glee Club would use censored lyrics. Our local high school's end of the year skits had the word "butt" censored out of something.

Of course, I'm just lampshading; I guarantee Fox meddled. For every time Ryan Murphy sneaks "scissoring" past the censors, a mention of the word "transsexual" gets lost.

Posted by: Craig at October 20, 2010 10:46 AM

for the record, if you’re over five, never ever put ketchup on a hot dog

Fuck you. What, is it too delicious for you to handle? I recently encountered this prejudice out in California. I had hoped it was an isolated incident.

Posted by: pissant at October 20, 2010 10:57 AM

"I think what works is that it IS dated, and should be." - KatSings

Church.

Posted by: Rest In Peace at October 20, 2010 12:58 PM

I visited the Rocky Horror Show in Dublin last friday and it was a fucking blast. The Frank N. Furter almost reached Tim Curry.

But a movie remake? No!

Posted by: FabMax at October 20, 2010 3:21 PM

Craig, I disagree. Glee is all about inclusion, tolerance, the acceptance of outsiders -- and it's probably one of the most gay-friendly shows out there. (Plus, it's not like anyone watches it for its realism to begin with.) It's not like I want to make a big stink out of this, but seriously, to have Mercedes be Frank-N-Furter AND have her sing the song Sweet Transvestite AND at the same time censor the word 'transsexual' makes no sense, and actually seems a little offensive to me. I guess we'll see how it's handled in the actual episode.

Posted by: Thijs at October 21, 2010 4:47 AM

I took my Mom and my 13-year old daughter to see a local production of Rocky Horror Show just last week. It was fun, as always - and nothing will ever beat seeing a cast member press her boobs into my mother's face. Priceless.

Of course a remake will suck. Let it. It won't change how I feel about the musical or the movie.

Posted by: Kelly at October 21, 2010 3:48 PM