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June 26, 2008 |

By Dustin Rowles | Industry | June 26, 2008 |

OK: Another round-up break from our grueling Classic Week schedule is in order before we start the final push. Here’s hoping that one of our illustrious critics will hit The Amorous Milkman before the week is done.

Meanwhile, I realize that my sudden, inexplicable, against-my-nature obsession with Marvel Studios has become a little Harry Knowles-esque (I’m thinking about growing a neck beard, actually), but goddamnit, I’m enthralled with what they’re doing. And Jon Favreau has unleashed a tiny bit of relatively unsurprising news, announcing what characters The Avengers will likely comprise of (Favreau is in the running to direct — he wants it, but Iron Man 2 may interfere). He said the line-up would include Captain America, Hulk, Thor, Ant-Man, and Iron Man. I guess the first question is would Norton return as The Hulk, given his problems with the studio? And second: Why no female Avenger? And finally, why — if he appears at the end of Iron Man — isn’t Nick Fury among the characters that Favreau mentioned? I’m sure the line-up is in flux, and Favreau did say that these were the characters Marvel was “talking about,” so we’ll see where it goes.

Elsewhere, over on Spout, blog-crush Karina — in writing about Jeffrey Wells’ new blog over on The L.A. Times (egads — journalist turned blogger is always a bad idea, if only because they can’t take the criticism in the comments — see, e.g., one of my favorite examples) brought up a quote by Peter Bart I found enlightening. Karina writes:

But rather than discuss these technicalities, Peter Bart reinforced the “bloggers are bottom feeders” meme: “If someone has a big story in the entertainment business, the first thing they are going to do is get it to Variety. They are not going to start saying, ‘Which bloggers can we feed?’”

A note to industry insiders: Feed us, Seymour. Also, Peter Bart: Suck a testicle, dude. Go back to diversity training. It’s a good goddamn thing you’re a 76-year-old blogger, you racist, homophobic prick, because you may be too old to see the blogosphere that you so despise take over your industry, you colostomy explosion.

Sorry for that bit of unpleasantness; it can’t be helped. I hate blogophobes. And racist homophobic pricks.

What else do we have? Some more non-news on the Arrested Development movie. Jason Bateman — making the rounds in support of Hancock (if the movie is a fraction as good as Bateman’s appearance on Letterman, it’s gonna do billions) — announced that an Arrested Development movie was planned for next year, and without providing details, confirmation, or saying anything that might suggest it may actually happen, Bateman merely told The UK’s Times:

“When it was on TV, if you missed one word the whole third act could be blown for you. And TV is a different experience. You come home and you’ve got to finish a call so you miss the first ten minutes or you get snacky and you go to the fridge and you miss another two minutes, so it’s a different experience to film.”

Jason Bateman: Keepin’ the dream alive, folks. Talk about it in vague terms long enough, it just might happen.

Moving on: Sam Rockwell — your hero and mine — has signed onto Inferno, the Linda Lovelace biopic starring Ana Faris, as Lovelace’s abusive asshole of a husband. Linda Lovelace, as most of you know, was the star of Deep Throat, a documentary about Otolaryngology, as I recall.

And speaking of Otolaryngology, George Gallo — who wrote Midnight Run and Bad Boys — has been signed to direct Middle Men, a film about the birth of the internet pornography business. It’s about a dude who gets involved with web porn as it turns into a multi-billion dollar business. He probably invented the pop-up ad, as well as the website that won’t allow you to back-button your way out of it. Also, the monthly automatic credit card charge that’s impossible to have stopped without knowing someone in the mafia.

Next up: After his Southland Tales saw numerous delays (and we saw what happened there, right?), Richard Kelly’s next film has already seen a significant delay, getting pushed back to the week after Labor Day 2009, i.e., the only studio grounds dumpier than the week after New Years. In other words, what’s in The Box is a lot less interesting than Gywneth Paltrow’s dismembered head. The movie stars Cameron Diaz (*cough*) and James Marsden, as a young suburban couple given a mysterious box and told that if they press a button, they’ll be given $1 million, but it will also kill someone somewhere else in the world. Maybe it’ll be Uwe Boll — win win!

There’s gonna be a Hostel 3, and it’s not going to be directed by Eli Roth, who refuses to have anything to do with it. But, it will be huge because everyone knows that the only thing better than a hack director is a wannabe, second-choice hack director.

All right, that’s enough industry news for today. Let’s move on to the fun stuff: Trailers. And we’ll start with the funnest one! Here it is, folks. Choke on it:

Here’s the second trailer for Eagle Eye, the follow-up to D.J. Caruso’s strangely decent Disturbia. This one, too, stars Shia Labooooof, and yeah: He’s a douche, but he’s really kind of a likable douche.

Finally, check out the trailer for Rocknrolla. If this trailer is any indication, Guy Ritchie may have just gotten his mojo back:

No, No. It's Pronounced A-nal-ra-pist

The Daily Trade Round-Up / Dustin Rowles

Industry | June 26, 2008 |

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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