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An Argument Over "The Walking Dead' Provokes a Man to Shoot His Girlfriend in the Back

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | December 4, 2012 | Comments ()


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Out in Long Island this week, a man by the name of Jared Gurman got into an argument with his girlfriend after the mid-season finale of “The Walking Dead” over the plausibility of a real-life zombie apocalypse. Gurman believes that such a thing can actually happen though a military mishap of some sort, while his girlfriend was of the belief that a zombie couldn’t actually happen.

Apparently, Gurman takes his zombie theories seriously because, after his girlfriend left, he continued the debate with his girlfriend over text messages. The dispute got very heated. Concerned over her boyfriend’s mental state, the 26-year-old girlfriend returned to calm him down.

He was waiting with a .22 caliber shotgun.

“Let’s just go to bed,” the girlfriend said, attempting to coax him upstairs. Unfortunately, as she walked away, leading him up the stair, Gurman shot her in the back.

The woman is currently in stable condition, while her boyfriend’s lawyer is arguing that the rifle went off accidentally.

The lesson in all of this? If a man with a gun asks you if zombie apocalypses are real, you say YES! Especially if the guy looks like this:

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(Source: Gothamist)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • peachykeen5014

    Is he wearing a Christina Aguilera tshirt??

  • BierceAmbrose

    I think we know all we need to know about this guy's judgment, given that he's still watching "The Living Dead."

    Can we make that a disqualifier for, I don't know, going out in public, ever?

    Does this guy have a brain? (Wait, did the cops check for a pulse? Is he warm or cold? Oh, god, he's in a prison. THIS IS HOW IT ALL STARTS! Run! Run for your lives!)

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Hey, so is it weird I want to know the details of their arguments and counterarguments? Like I want to see how insane the guy sounded, and then whether his girlfriend was kinda nice and calm about telling him he was insane, or if she trotted out awesome sarcastic rebuttals.

  • Ignore my log in name...its ironic as I am terrified of guns (also the "2600" is a reference to Captain Crunch...WHERE MY PHREAKERS AT?!??)

    You cannot claim that violence is directly related to guns primarily because there is not a close relationship to gun ownership rates and violent crime. For example, the Swiss have an extremely high gun ownership rate. They do not have the violent crime that the US does. England has almost no gun ownership...they have a lot of violent crime, especially home invasions. Even if you look at spree killings, where arguably guns make it easier to accomplish...its not impossible to commit one without a firearm. China has been dealing with a wave of spree killings, targeting children and schools, using knives. In the same manner, Japan has had spree killers using automobiles and knives. And lets not ignore nuts that use guns.

    What we can take from this is that I clearly have something wrong with me because a gun toting neckbeard, who believes that "The Walking Dead" is some sort of fucking documentary, has girlfriend...and all I got is a parrot.

    Actually now that I think about it...the parrot has been a deal breaker about six times now....and she just pooped on my shoulder.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Dude, the first rule of alt-2600 is you do not talk about alt-2600.

  • BierceAmbrose

    For example, the Swiss have an extremely high gun ownership rate. They do not have the violent crime that the US does. England has almost no gun ownership...they have a lot of violent crime, especially home
    invasions.

    That's the problem in a nutshell. We're reduced to inconsistent statistics like these, emotions, and tautologies like "If there were no guns, there would be no gun violence."

    None of it's widely prescriptive, yet, yet we're desperate for prescriptions because people die.

    Aside from testosterone.(*) Not kidding on that one. Testosterone also gets you laid, so I'm kind of conflicted.

    (*) For those who don't know, and with apologies to the generally ridiculously well-informed commentariot hereabouts ... all humans have testosterone. Testosterone levels correlate with sexual activity and libido in both genders. Testosterone is an accepted therapy for loss of libido among other things, in women as well as men.

    Come to think of it, there's quite a few people I'd rather not see horny, as in ever. On the other hand, Eva Greene should wind herself up on any three libido enhancers of her choice, and come see me.

  • Blahblahblah


    I was friends with Jared. I am so disgusted with this whole thing. I cannot believe that someone I thought of as a friend could turn around and be such a monster.

  • lowercase_see

    Mmm I'm gonna go with rage issues and internalized mysoginy provoked a man to shoot his girlfriend in the back.

  • googergieger

    I'm not going to lie, this is pretty stupid. But Bill O'reilly still wins the stupid for calling Christianity a philosophy and not a religion.

  • Missy

    It is. All religions come from ancient sun worship. ok, so...back to TWD...

  • googergieger

    What?

  • 724wd

    "He was waiting with a .22 caliber shotgun." No he wasn't. no such thing. .22 caliber rifle, maybe?

  • BierceAmbrose

    Going to original-ish sources (cheating, I know) the weapon is described variously as a "semi-automatic rifle" and "a 22-caliber rifle."

    Jessica Gelderman's reported injuries - That's the important thing here, right, that a woman named Jessica Gelderman is pretty horrifically wounded right now over a frakking TV show? - couldn't be caused by any .22 shot shell I've ever seen.

    http://www.nydailynews.com/new...

    http://newyork.cbslocal.com/20...

  • GDI

    .22 LR shotshell, more than likely.

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    Oh there certainly are. Mossberg and Remington have both manufactured .22 cal shotguns. I don't think they still do, but they made 'em and they're out there. I checked the source article though, and it does say .22 rifle so who knows.

  • 724wd

    by-golly, you're right! very rare, but they did exist. i stand corrected and better informed! (but i suspect a regular .22 rifle was used in this attack)

  • John G.

    well, I'm glad we're focused on the really important facts of this story.

  • 724wd

    do you want accurate reporting or not?

  • abell

    What the hell, people?

  • Joe Grunenwald

    That guy has a girlfriend?

    *EDIT: I suppose I should say 'had'.

  • $10 says she goes back with him

  • BierceAmbrose

    $10 says she goes back with him

    No bet.

  • Fair enough, it was a suckers bet.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    We should figure out how to get it termed the Chris Brown effect, just to fuck with Chris Brown some more.

  • BierceAmbrose

    You are my hero.

  • Sadly, I think there is a real term for this, but I'm fully on board for screwing with that asshat!

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Exactly. I feel like clinical accuracy should take a backseat to fucking with fucktard celebs.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Are you running for office? Please?

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I don't think it'd be a winning platform. Though I would also run on a platform of officially recognizing "Things Mel Gibson doesn't believe in, but totally wishes would happen," as a synonym for the Holocaust.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I don't think it'd be a winning platform.

    You might be surprised. It would be fun in any event.

    Hey, how about let's you and I run on a platform of: "We'll only do the stuff we agree on & the rest we'll argue about in public. Tune in every Thursday at 8." We could alternate who's the figurehead in chief vs. the backup, maybe every two weeks, because who really wants that job anyway?

  • anikitty

    holy fuck a duck (quack)

  • DarthCorleone

    Is that a Christina Aguilera t-shirt?

  • ViciousTrollop

    Thankfully, I'm not the only one who noticed that.

  • emmelemm

    Holy crap.

    I think the lesson in all this is, don't date a guy who wears a Christina Aguilera t-shirt. (With the possible and I said possible exception of if you are also a guy, and therefore gay.)

  • Blake

    Didn't Bob Costas just say something about scenarios like this?

    “Handguns do not enhance our safety. They exacerbate our flaws, tempt us
    to escalate arguments, and bait us into embracing confrontation rather
    than avoiding it.”

    1 Point for Costas...

  • BierceAmbrose

    Oh, I forgot. Big bulky cars tempt people to road rage, and make it easier.

    Not making this up. I mostly ride a bike to get around. You don't have to do a thing. Those jackholes will kill you for existing. Not all of them, of course, but some. (Kind of makes the "make yourself visible" thing a conundrum.)

    I think we should ban Stratham movies and recall The Driver. You know, just in case.

  • BierceAmbrose

    I think we should ban football players - pound for pound or item for
    item they lead to *way* more murders than handguns. Also dog fighting, cholesterol-filled tailgate feasts and general douch-y behavior. Football makes you stupid. Let's ban it. (Mr. Costas having to find another job is just gravy.)

    Also let's ban "The Living Dead", texting and living on Long Island. (Seriously, Long Island?) People don't kill people, living on Long Island kills people. Truth.

  • GDI

    Wouldn't TWD be more to blame than a ".22 shotgun"? This is ridiculous to the point of being laughable in so many ways.

    1st, the dude is a quack, through and through. Him owning any sort of weapon beyond a pocket knife is already a threat to public safety.

    2nd, the dude is possibly mentally retarded, as a .22 shotshell will do about this much damage:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    3rd, Costas is a horses ass. The argument for enhancement of safety is one of malarkey and misinformation.

    There were 8775 people murdered by firearms in the US in 2010. Now, there are 50 million registered gun owners. Assuming all those murders were by registered gun owners (and as a single casualty to owner per instance), you'd be looking at 0.0018% of total gun owners involved in this murders. Not only that, but gun sales has increased (gun owners by individual lowered, but those that own a weapon, possess more than one, generally speaking), with firearm related homicides on a decline since 2008. Suicides is another story.
    In fact, gun control advocates should look to enforce stricter policies so that gun suicides will be lowered by default! Screw psychiatric counseling!

    I'm partially serious on that last point. Gun related suicides are higher annually, occurring nearly twice as often as homicides by firearm.

    In full seriousness, there are quite a few people out there that need psychological help. Not just so they don't come to harm others, but, more often than not, so that they don't harm themselves.

    So next time you wanna spout politics (on other end, I'm sick of that shit), you should consider informing others on the truth.
    I did cherry pick some of the sources, but my numbers still stand.

    Here are some links you can look into:

    http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/31/...
    http://www.gallup.com/poll/150...
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/news...
    http://www.gunpolicy.org/firea...

  • horvath

    Alternatively, you could look at the statistics for gun violence and gun ownership throughout Europe and other areas with strict gun laws, which makes a pretty compelling argument for stricter gun laws. The countries with worse stats than us are some pretty awful fucking countries.

    The fact that you cavalierly treat 8775 homicides as... what? Not that bad, all things considered? That's insane. Especially when you look at the rest of the civilized world.

  • GDI

    In comparison with medical related deaths, motor vehicle collisions, and even suicide, 8775 GUN RELATED homicides is miniscule (about 4,000 homicides from other sources, for a total closer to 12,000 in that year).
    It is certainly a lamentable statistic. Something should be done about that. Do not confuse what I am stating.
    Yet, using the rest of the "civilized world" as a gauge (with no proof; thank you, Salad_Is_Murder, for knowing the rules of the game) is a bit hypocritical, especially when the numbers don't back up the statements. This is before even mentioning the social behavior of each country, province, or state. It's more complex than "gun control=less violent crime".

    http://www.gunpolicy.org/firea...

    Iraqi locals are allowed to have freakin' Ak-47s in public. But it's ok, since the locals aren't massacring each other in mass (I'm serious, they aren't).

    I don't like this idea perpetuated by the media that the US is a savage land. It isn't. There's plenty of problems (like those mentioned), but we fixate on the ludicrous. The things on the fringe of affecting us, with very little bearing on our actual lives. I do like the quote from Mumia Abu-Jamal, stating that the average American is "insecure with their relative wealth and opulence". Maybe being so high up on the food chain affords us that chance to fret about the insignificant.

  • horvath

    My point was never that "gun control = less violent crime."

    My point was (and this was part of my comparison to other nations as well) "gun control = less GUN-related crime."

    And your rational-sounding argument gets invalidated when two comments down, you posted this distasteful, obnoxious and condescending diatribe:

    " Mention gun control, women's rights, and/or climate change (might as well go for the trifecta) and the common liberal's panties are a soaking mess"

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    The rest of the civilized world? Say, the United Kingdom perhaps?

    UK Ranked 2nd in Assault Victims per Capita, US rank: 11th
    UK Ranked 2nd in Drug Offenses per Capita, 300 times higher than 4th ranked US.
    UK Ranked 3rd in total % of population victimized by crime, US ranked 15th.

    US had about 12 million reported crimes (1st Place, not a per capita figure)
    UK had about 6.6 million reported crimes (2nd Place, not a per capita figure)

    The US has a population roughly FIVE TIMES the size of the UK while having only TWICE the crime rate.

    Civilized indeed.

    Figures provided by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime.

  • NynjaSquirrel

    You forgot: Murders committed by youths
    UK - 139
    US - 8,226
    58 times more than United Kingdom

    Murders with firearms
    UK - 14
    US - 9,369 Ranked 1st.
    668 times more than United Kingdom

  • superasente

    GDI, thank you for supporting your argument with math in favor of rhetoric. As always, it is a breath of fresh air.

  • iamjames

    I'm no math genius, but don't guns make it way easier to kill people than rocks?

  • idiosynchronic
  • GDI

    idiosynchronic, that *insert homophobic slur here* esquire article turns into blithering nonsense at the drop of a hat. Mention gun control, women's rights, and/or climate change (might as well go for the trifecta) and the common liberal's panties are a soaking mess (I say common as I know there are plenty of intellectual forward thinkers on both sides of the inane party line; don't get offended if it doesn't apply).

    That article truly does not add anything of value to this conversation. I'm trying to comprehend why you introduce tired rhetoric to something that needs to be addressed; the media's obsession with gun violence (and regular, vicarious violence as well).
    Really, if Charles Manson is comparatively more sane and eloquent than the average citizen, I believe we have a problem...

  • Guest

    You are all just as bad as those "ignorant, right-winger fundamentalist
    jackasses", in that you seek to complete your ideologies mission
    statement rather than seek the truth.

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