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A New American Pie Movie!

I Think I’ll Have the Cake, Thank You / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | October 30, 2008 | Comments (22)

Moviehole is reporting that the American Pie folks are going back to the well once again for a fourth installment of the teen middle-aged comedy franchise. Of course, they don’t count the direct-to-DVD movies, like American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile, all of which starred Eugene Levy, inexplicably. The fourth movie will be a reboot, of sorts, of the feature film version, one that will likely bring back many of the original characters. Or at least some of them. And why not? Aside from Alyson Hanigan, and maybe Stifler, it’s not as though the careers of the rest of the cast have really taken off. What the hell happened to Chris Klein, anyway?

Moviehole is suggesting that this one may center on Jim and Michelle having kids, though I think the title should reflect the current state of the franchise. I’m thinking: American Pie: Abortion. It’s a shame, too, because the original American Pie really was a pretty good teen comedy, all things considered.

Or, you know: They could just turn it into a horror movie. There’s already a trailer:



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Comments

Jim and Michelle have pregnant sex, and Jim shares the experience with his buddies.
Stifler says: You put your dick in a pregnant chick? You're a loser! HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Jim says: She's my wife, asshole.
Oz: You're so insensitive, Stifler.
Kevin: Is the baby a boy or a girl, Jim?
Jim: A boy.
Stifler laughs. Jim gives him a self-conscious look.
Jim: What?
Stifler: Dude! You crossed swords with your kid! HAHAHAHAHA!
Jim doesn't want to have sex with Michelle until after the baby is born.
Michelle: You big dummy!
She ties him up and kinda rapes him. Jim digs it. The baby pees all over Stifler's face.

THE END.

Posted by: Sofía at October 30, 2008 11:13 AM

What the hell happened to Chris Klein, anyway?

I heard he was serving as a cabin boy for Barbary Coast pirates.

True Story

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 30, 2008 11:16 AM

You could atleast write 'Spoilers' Sofia! Some of us want to be surprised.

Posted by: becks at October 30, 2008 11:19 AM

I dug the first two.

What? That's all I have to say.

Posted by: Skitz at October 30, 2008 11:27 AM

Sofia...slap a patent on that, QUICK! Hollywood has spies everywhere. How do you think they got the idea for half of their Adam Sandler/Dane Cook movies?

Posted by: Mike R. at October 30, 2008 11:31 AM

Hey! I had nothing to do with the Dane Cook movies!
 





...or did I?

Posted by: Sofía at October 30, 2008 11:33 AM

Skitz: tell me it was because you found Tara Reid oddly alluring.

The guys at the movie theatre where I worked used to have it timed when Shannon Elizabeth took her clothes off so they could go into the theatre and watch. Such a fun job.

Posted by: becks at October 30, 2008 11:33 AM

Sofia, you are damn near too awesome to be real.

Posted by: firedmyass at October 30, 2008 11:38 AM

Sofia, you are damn near too awesome to be real.

Wait, then who have we been repeatedly abusing ourselves to?

Posted by: Vermillion at October 30, 2008 12:01 PM

She's real. I've seen video of her. It gave me a funny feeling in my pants. I'm not going to elaborate any further...

Posted by: Lainey at October 30, 2008 12:10 PM

Sofia, truly you do a mentor proud. Excellent work, you hot Chilean goddess you.

Aw, remember when Tara Reid used to look human? She used to come into the bank I worked at back then. She was super nice at the time, and so was her mom. Her dad was a great big sweaty man. Not a bad guy, just kinda gross.

True Story.

Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at October 30, 2008 12:27 PM

Why on earth would Alyson Hannigan and Sean William Scott agree to do this? Unless they have video of them fellating a horse or something, but even then I think if given the choice between starring in bestiality porn and starring in an American Pie movie, I'd choose the former.


Also, remember when Tara Reid was wholesome and adorable?


Oh, and Sofia, you're my favorite. Fucking brilliant. But please understand that if you are in fact responsible for Dane Cook films, there will be consequences. Sexy consequences.*


*What?

Posted by: Marra at October 30, 2008 12:27 PM

See what happens when you post cleavage shots on Facebook Sofia? You've got every Pajiban - both men and women - eating out of your hand. You clever minx, you.

Posted by: Kolby at October 30, 2008 12:52 PM

Kolby! You're having your baby after the election, right? You better post pictures on Facebook. I'm a sucker for baby pics.

Posted by: Sofía at October 30, 2008 12:55 PM

Tara Reid used to be in my top five.

She was amazing in the first two films, such a shame she turned into one massive skank riddled with disease.
I don't think there's anything she can do to redeem herself now, unless anyone has a time machine i can use?

Posted by: keith at October 30, 2008 12:57 PM

keith, strangers used to tell me how much I looked like Tara Reid when these films came out. I have been ashamed to tell that fact to everyone else but you.

I honestly have never heard so much early Tara Reid love from respectable adults. I'm strangely flattered.

Posted by: becks at October 30, 2008 1:02 PM

But there's almost five hundred! The Chilean tagging is out of control! And who would have the days to delete them all?


Of course that assumes one wanting to delete the tags, like I usually do. "Hey, it's a picture of you!" "Oh, gawd, NO!"

Posted by: Jay at October 30, 2008 1:15 PM

Yes! The Chilean tagging is out of control!!! They keep tagging the same pictures of me over and over again. It really pisses me off... until I realize I'm pissed at a website.

Posted by: Sofía at October 30, 2008 1:28 PM

Sofia I would pay $7.50 to see that movie. Is that what movies cost these days?

Posted by: DemonWaterPolo at October 30, 2008 3:41 PM

Sounds like an abomination that must be aborted STAT!

Posted by: ph at October 30, 2008 5:33 PM

Wait. becks looks like a pre-skankified Tara Reid? I think I am not alone in demanding visual confirmation of this comparison. Preferably a picture of you in a bikini like the one Reid wore in Lebowski.

Posted by: JP at October 30, 2008 8:11 PM

Do you remember when MENA SUVARI was the greatest young actress in American Beauty? ahhh! those were the days...

Posted by: Mario at October 31, 2008 8:43 PM