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Look! Willow Don't Want No Buffy Remake Neither

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (30)



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We reported quite some time ago that the original owners of the rights to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the folks who put the movie together) were rebooting the franchise (aka, committing an act of domestic terrorism), with an eye toward bringing in a new generation of vampire slayers. That new generation, however, will not involve Joss Whedon or anyone else involved in the “Buffy” TV show, a notion that’s obviously horked off a lot of the fans who’re hooked on the Whedon junk, and even those who were involved in the television series in the first place. Like Willow. Pretty, pretty Willow.

Cinemablend actually caught up with Alyson Hannigan (now a series regular on “How I Met Your Mother”) and in an interview, asked her what she thought of the new Buffy. She seemed rather dismissive. Clearly, she’s on the Whedon junk, too.

We asked her about those Buffy remake plans and she seems as perturbed by the whole thing as the show’s fans. When we asked her what she thought of Buffy without Joss she said, “Yeah, and that’s a very big mistake in my opinion.” Whedon wrote both the ’90s movie and ran the subsequent spin-off television show she was a part of. So it makes sense that Hannigan says, “I mean if Joss isn’t involved, it’s only the title.”

And without Joss, there’s no way they’ll get her involved in it. Not even for a cameo. She says, “Not without Joss. Joss is the only reason that we would go back. I mean, it’s just ridiculous to think of that TV show without Joss. That’s just silly to me … And all the fans know that, too, so I don’t know what they’re thinking.”

Look, I’m sympathetic with Hannigan and the entire Whedon crew, which is why we made the Buffy reboot the most boneheaded Hollywood project in development. But then again, I wonder how willing Whedon would really be to returning to the franchise? And you can’t really cockblock Fran Rubel Kuzui, who owns the rights to “Buffy.” It’s the only thing she’s ever had: There’s still some milking to be done yet. They should just wait a few years, once the existing fanbase is flushed out and a new generation with less interest in quality (they were raised on Twilight, after all) comes around. And maybe the new Buffy will be chaste. And sing! Maybe they do a High School Musical version of Buffy, with a bunch of no-talent Disney nobodies.

And then, folks: We’ll transfer that Poltergeist curse onto Buffy, candies and nuts will rejoice, and we’ll all have a Merry Christmas. Except the new generation of vampire slayers. Cause they’ll be dead.

Speaking of Twilight, Kristen Stewart has a new movie coming out at Sundance this year (the full lineup was announced yesterday) called Welcome to the Rileys. The logline: It’s about “a damaged man who seeks salvation by caring for a wayward young woman during a business trip to New Orleans.”

That damaged man is played by James Gandolfini, and the wayward young woman is Kristen Stewart, and judging by these still shots from the Jake Scott film, “caring” has an entirely different meaning than what we might be accustomed to:

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The Black Hole Remake | Eloquent Eloquence 12/02/09













Comments

"Hey, Tony! My eyes are up here!"

Posted by: admin at December 3, 2009 11:38 AM

Maybe it's because "Bella" was in the intro, but when you wrote "Kristen Stewart," I read "Kristen Bell," so when I saw the pics I thought "DAMN! Veronica looks rough!

Posted by: Alexandra at December 3, 2009 11:39 AM

PS Alyson Hannigan is totally bangable in that pic (well, she always is, but especially there.)

Posted by: Alexandra at December 3, 2009 11:40 AM

Kristin Stewart needs to stop jutting out her jaw so much. It gives her bitchface.

Posted by: figgy at December 3, 2009 11:41 AM

when does the dexter recap go up?

Posted by: sexydexy at December 3, 2009 11:50 AM

Wasn't that movie already made, with Morgan Freeman and Christina Ricci?

Posted by: Anna von Beaverpuppet at December 3, 2009 11:50 AM

How many incarnations of Buffy does the world need? What's left to do? Are they going to Dark Knight it up and put it in 3D? At this point, they might as well create a Buffy saturday morning cartoon. Get them hooked on vampires while there young. That way, they won't realize that Hollywood is sucking the life out of them as they get older and indie cinema will just die quietly. Oh the humanity! It's too early for this.

Posted by: Peanut_Butter_And_James at December 3, 2009 11:58 AM

Honestly who cares? Xander will be played by Efron, Willow by Lindsay Lohan, Giles by some random brithish guy and they will throw some hollywood startlet like Scarlet Johanson in the mix as Buffy and it will be a big hit. Then a sequel will come out and feature a Spiderman 3 esque dance number and ruin a movie that already sucekd to begin with.

Plus honestly, take away SMG and joss and you have no hope for this franchise. If you had 1, maybe, but neither and it is full of fail. I could see Dushku trying to get in on this though since Dollhouse was such a huge failure lol.

Posted by: Angelmonster at December 3, 2009 12:03 PM

GOOD GODOCTOPUS!!
I will be in my bunk with that header pic.
/you filthy witch girl

Posted by: Badalamenti at December 3, 2009 12:14 PM

AvB, are you referring to Blake Snake Moan? Because that was one Mister Samuel Mother Fuckin' Jackson.

Posted by: Patty O'Green at December 3, 2009 12:27 PM

I'm just sick and tired of reboots. Even though I liked the recent Star Trek film, I still would've preferred seeing new characters and new situations. Same goes for Buffy. Why stick new actors in the same roles? The franchise isn't even old yet. If you want to play around in the same 'verse, at least give us a new Slayer (there are plenty now, after all) in a fresh situation that we're not already totally familiar with.

Posted by: DeadBessie at December 3, 2009 12:33 PM

Kristin Stewart needs to stop jutting out her jaw so much. It gives her bitchface.

I believe that you're giving her face too much credit. Her chin is clearly the one in control, and thus, it's jutting her face in. I present the second picture above as evidence. Even Tony Fucking Soprano can't look at the thing.

Posted by: Mikey Likes It at December 3, 2009 12:41 PM

Wasn't that movie already made, with Morgan Freeman and Christina Ricci?

Black Snake Monotone

Posted by: D-Day at December 3, 2009 12:49 PM

Okay everyone, raise your hand if you want to see Tony Soprano bitch-slap the glitter lust off of Bella Swan's leno jaw.

Posted by: Davis at December 3, 2009 12:50 PM

p.s. I was staring at that Kristen Stewart series of images until I realized she's playing Rocky from "Tough Love 2". Love that show.

Posted by: D-Day at December 3, 2009 12:51 PM

A poorly composed Sonnet:

Oh sweet, lovely Alyson Hannigan,
I've got some crucial questions to ask you:
Can we please get up to shenanigans?
And will you bring along your husband, who
I think is just as pretty as you are?
And can we have a threesome -- it'd be hot!
Perhaps we could do it inside my car?
Or in a swimming pool, or on a yaht.
You see, I normally only like men,
Explaining my interest in Denisof,
But somehow I just can't control this yen
I have that tells me you'd be great to boff.
If your answer is 'yes' by some small chance,
I promise that we'd have a great romance.

Posted by: esme at December 3, 2009 1:15 PM

"Okay everyone, raise your hand if you want to see Tony Soprano bitch-slap the glitter lust off of Bella Swan's leno jaw."

OOO OOOO OOOO! I do I do!


That is possibly the hottest pic I have ever seen of Alyson Hannigan. Have Mercy!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at December 3, 2009 1:43 PM

sexydexy, I love you.

Posted by: J. K. Barlow at December 3, 2009 2:34 PM

WE WILL NEVER BE FLUSHED OUT NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER!

Posted by: dene at December 3, 2009 2:59 PM

Sadly enough, if James Marsters shows up, I'll watch it*. I have no shame.

*illegal torrent download and immediately trashed... shame no, honor, yes. No way I'm paying for that shit or leaving any evidence.

Posted by: the bees knees at December 3, 2009 3:46 PM

Kristin Stewart needs to stop jutting out her jaw so much. It gives her bitchface.

Posted by: figgy at December 3, 2009 11:41 AM


It's called 'acting'--nope, wait...you're right, it's bitchface.

Posted by: Flo at December 3, 2009 3:46 PM

Did anyone else realize that the evil organization that is trying to kill all the slayers in the Buffy comics is called **Twilight**? That can't be a coincidence.

Posted by: Erm at December 3, 2009 3:54 PM

Kristin Stewart needs to stop jutting out her jaw so much. It gives her bitchface

She's doing her best dime store attempt at a Parker Posey actressin' face, hadn't you noticed?

Posted by: Goldie at December 3, 2009 4:27 PM

Actually, Peanut_Butter_and_James, there were plans at one point for a Buffy cartoon. Click here for more info.

Posted by: Drake at December 3, 2009 4:54 PM

Willow! Put it away, you naughty, naughty girl.

Posted by: redhead at December 3, 2009 5:09 PM

I'll be honest with you, I didn't read the article. I just looked at the picture.

.... I'll be in my bunk.

Posted by: Foilwrapper at December 3, 2009 6:47 PM

I'm re-watching Buffy S1 at the moment (my girlfriend hasn't seen it). It's weird that the retro-librarian look that Willow sports, which is meant to be all nerdy and uncool, would be totally hipster these days.

Even in those brown cardigans, Hannigan remains super-pretty. And in that picture up top... well... damn.

I, too, will be in my bunk.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at December 3, 2009 8:04 PM

And my question to Hannigan:

Acting lessons, when?

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at December 3, 2009 10:50 PM

I hated Buffy with such a passion. I remember being in school and hearing everyone else lose their fucking shit over the girl with the most retarded name I'd ever heard. I tried to watch it and it was terrible. Just awful and I am and was the biggest sci fi and vampire and anything supernatural dork. I'm starting to hate Twilight even more for the simple fact Hollywood is spinning its wheels to throw as much turd out the door with fangs on it as possible.

On a different note I love James Gandolfini. I may have to give this movie a try if only for him. I'm not writing Kristen Stewart off yet just for her involvement of Twilight. Willing to see if she may turn into a decent actress or not. Something about her makes me not hate her though I don't know what it is.

Posted by: LittleDeadGirl at December 4, 2009 12:05 AM

“a damaged man who seeks salvation by caring for a wayward young woman during a business trip to New Orleans.”

Wait a damn minute. Isn't that essentially the plot to Black Snake Moan? When will you stop stealing from the black man, Hollywood? WHEN WILL THE HURTING STOP!

Posted by: Prisco at December 4, 2009 10:55 AM


















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