We usually leave the Friday afternoon space strictly for movie reviews, but this clip is absolutely too good not to share over the weekend. It’s a series of alternate endings to Juno. A friend of mine passed it along to me; the guy who made this video (Jay Kaplan) was a friend of hers from high school, and he actually passed away on Christmas Eve. I don’t know any of the details, but it’s a damn shame, and this video (especially for any Juno haters out there) really deserves to be appreciated. My friend also mentioned that Jay was “an absolutely hilarious, wonderful, kind, talented person and he’d love to know people are watching his work, even posthumously.” And she’s right — this is perversely, disturbingly hilarious, even if it does make me a little squeamish.
(Warning: Video may not be suitable to sensitive readers. Seriously. I’m so not kidding.).
Fucking I.T. department! Is there a link for this somewhere?
Posted by: Xtreme at January 9, 2009 3:04 PM
HOLY SHIRT that was disturbing.
Gah. I gotta go shake that one off.
Posted by: boo at January 9, 2009 3:10 PM
Oh dear Godtopus, this is so wrong, yet it still made me laugh. And for the record, I still love Juno. Haters be damned.
Posted by: Jeremy Feist at January 9, 2009 3:10 PM
Started loving it. Had to stop midway. Call me a wimp. I deserve it.
Posted by: Soto at January 9, 2009 3:14 PM
Hmm, I'm sensitive. Call me Mommy.
Posted by: Cindy at January 9, 2009 3:17 PM
"why didn't you use this one?"
"lighting."
TOO FUNNY. wow. that was awesome.
Posted by: citizen_cris at January 9, 2009 3:18 PM
Let the backlash begin in 3,2,1...
I can't really get worked up about it, because you kinda see it coming, don't you? I mean....
Well produced joke, though. My sympathies to his friends and family - he was clearly talented and had a sick, sick sense of humor. A man after my own heart.
Posted by: Tammy at January 9, 2009 3:19 PM
That was horrifying and wrong and sickening and gross, and I cringed through the whole thing.
And I feel regret that there won't be more from this guy who really was hilarious and talented. And not totally right in the head.
Posted by: MoJo at January 9, 2009 3:30 PM
I laughed. But I have no heart.
Posted by: Nadha at January 9, 2009 3:53 PM
I almost wanted to laugh, but instead I threw up in my mouth a little.
I mean...it's a BABY! NOT FUNNY TO BEAT UP A BABY!
Yeah, I'm apprently of the "sensitive" camp.
Posted by: tt_marie at January 9, 2009 4:04 PM
It's something I might have chortled at in high school with my other geeky friends all unable to get laid.
You did it! You finally put something up more disturbing on the site than the fucking PETA ads!
Speaking of which, now I'm reminded on how much I hate animal liberation groups! Please never accept their money again.
Hey Eli Roth, they've beaten you, you bitch!
Posted by: George at January 9, 2009 4:20 PM
Ugh.
But the commentary really made it.
Too bad all I could think about was the recent news bit about the girl who drowned her newborn in the toilet. Fucking depressing.
Posted by: Alabamapink at January 9, 2009 4:22 PM
The deadpan commentary is what makes it work.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 9, 2009 4:22 PM
I mean...it's a BABY! NOT FUNNY TO BEAT UP A BABY!
Yeah, I just shake the shit out of them.
Posted by: jM at January 9, 2009 4:23 PM
Friday the 13th, Part XI - Juno Lives
Posted by: longcoat000 at January 9, 2009 4:25 PM
I understand the dark humor and irony, really. I also stopped it about a minute in because, um, ew. Like Alabamapink all I could really think about is how that shit happens in real life and it's just sad and upsetting.
I mean...it's a BABY! NOT FUNNY TO BEAT UP A BABY!
On the contrary! I'm always laughing while punching infants!
Posted by: Snath at January 9, 2009 4:41 PM
Long time reader from the Dominican Republic, but first time poster...
This absolutely made my day. Thank you Pajiba
Posted by: Popa at January 9, 2009 4:45 PM
Not funny.
It isn't unfunny because of the subject matter--I am a great fan of "dark" humor.
It just isn't funny. It's the same fucking sight gag done over and over and overagain, when it was only mildly funny the first time. The words "Mike Myers" come to mind.
Too over-the-top to be offensive. Boring. Not funny. Fail.
Posted by: Jerce at January 9, 2009 4:45 PM
This is the kind of stuff I laugh out loud at while my friends give me odd looks.
And about the real life element... Well, everything can be funny in the right hands. I mean, George Carlin made rape funny! Or so I read over at Jezebel, and those chicks are super sensitive. (and usually drunk)
Jerce -- that is still my all time favorite quote on this site. If there was an EE Hall of Fame, it would reign supreme. -- DR
Posted by: Dustin Rowles at January 9, 2009 4:51 PM
In the infamous words of George Carlin, "I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd. See, hey why do you think they call him "Porky," eh?"
Sure do miss you George.
Posted by: Xtreme at January 9, 2009 4:53 PM
It was a little weak. If not for the commentary, it probably wouldn't have gotten a grin out of me. That said, I will laugh at the worst things. I was watching Conan with a couple neanderthals and he said some ridiculously terrible thing and I was cracking up and they were laughing but then I realized they were laughing at me.
So I murdered them.
Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at January 9, 2009 4:55 PM
Just a note to anyone who hasn't watched it yet. You can pretty much just watch the first one or two times she finds ways to dispose of the baby and you've seen the whole thing.
The only thing that was truly inspired was the deadpan commentary laid over it. "Was this a lighting thing too?" "Yeah, too contrast-ey."
That was good. But I don't know why they had to do the baby thing over and over and over.
I think the sound effects are just a bit TOO realistic. How did they get it to sound perfectly cut off like that?
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at January 9, 2009 4:55 PM
What was in the bag? I don't get it.
Posted by: Lucas at January 9, 2009 4:56 PM
Oh a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste. That was goddamn hilarious.
Posted by: MG at January 9, 2009 5:07 PM
Mildly entertaining on the first one, but it was just more of the same after that. The commentary was good, though.
Posted by: Gabs at January 9, 2009 5:08 PM
I think I might have nightmares about this tonight. Mission accomplished, dude I've never met. Stopped a millisecond before they ran it over in the car. Just...no. But funny the first time around. "Here's Michael who was kind enough to come in on his day off."
Posted by: Cara at January 9, 2009 6:20 PM
I could only watch about 30 seconds of it. Count me in the "sensitive Mommy" camp. Can't handle child abuse humor.
Posted by: Alexandra at January 9, 2009 6:21 PM
Oh my goodness, my co-workers would be absolutely horrified! Mr. meaux and I, on the other hand, laughed long and hard.
Just once would have been sufficient. It was the same joke seven times. Meh.
Posted by: Dano at January 9, 2009 6:30 PM
The baby should have seen it coming. That'll teach it to be so god damn dependent. I also think I'll show my kids, it might get them to behave for at least a week.
Posted by: admin at January 9, 2009 6:40 PM
I apologize in advance for turning this festive atmosphere un-festive, but hey, that's what I'm known for. My question is this, why aren't any of you sons of bitches in an uproar that this young girl is pregnant? Could it be because she's white, and white people most of the time get a free ride? Had Juno been black I'm sure the majority of you would have thought oh, that's just the way they roll. Who would like to comment first, any takers? Perhaps you DR, seeing as you've felt the need to bless us with your presence today all over pajiba.
Posted by: Pookie at January 9, 2009 6:57 PM
Because it took place in Minnesota Pookie. What the hell else is a teenager going to do in Minnesota?
Posted by: admin at January 9, 2009 7:16 PM
That was sickening yet hilarious.
And I laughed and laughed.
Posted by: monkey_b at January 9, 2009 7:25 PM
Attn: Pookie
Boy, you sure are good at making assumptions about people, aren't you? Now let me make some assumptions of my own. If the girl in "Juno" were black she would probably been played by Tyler Perry in an ill fitting dress or Eddie Murphy in a fat suit.
Posted by: Dano at January 9, 2009 7:45 PM
Well she's handling it quite responsibly so I don't see the problem really.
Posted by: Cara at January 9, 2009 7:46 PM
See, that didn't really effect me either way. The commentary was hilarious, but I guess I've heard too many over-the-top dead baby jokes (How many dead babies does it take to paint a fence? What's the difference between unloading a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?) to be offended or extremely entertained. I did fast forward through the car backing up though. I had noo desire to hear that.
(Look up the punchlines yourselves if you dare; I'm not going to risk saying them and being drawn and quartered by you crazy people with "feelings," or a "conscience.")
Posted by: Erin S at January 9, 2009 7:49 PM
Dano you're taking this very personal. Tom, this is business and this man it taking it very, very personal.
Posted by: Pookie at January 9, 2009 7:52 PM
I love it.. classic Jay Kaplan.
Posted by: chris at January 9, 2009 8:51 PM
I mean...it's a BABY! NOT FUNNY TO BEAT UP A BABY!
But you see...it, uh, wasn't real.
Posted by: Ann at January 9, 2009 8:57 PM
Pookie you aren't for real, are you?
Posted by: Anastasia Beaverhausen at January 9, 2009 9:14 PM
I'm for real.
Posted by: Pookie at January 9, 2009 10:03 PM
?
I dunno...didn't find it funny. Was that SNL trying to be edgy?
"I got it! Let's have her kill the baby! In numerous ways! Like, run-over, um, and throwing the baby on the ground, like violently, and oh! Classic trash-can! There's no way to miss on that!"
"Somebody print that bitch."
Ha, no. Didn't find it funny. Hell, didn't even find it disturbing or anything. (C'mon, I own all four copies of Bumfights and Indecline.)
But seriously, just found it kind of a waste of film, time, and money(?).
For better detail, it reminds me of YouTube. Y'know, there are many, MANY idiots in the world, and YouTube is their outlet.
This seems like a video done by the classic, useless YouTube user.
Rowles...you're losin' it.
(I mean, no doubt, Ben. Button was a piece of shit, but you pissed me off slowly...and more recently over the Broken Lizard hate. No love for Super Troopers)? For shame!)
Posted by: Riley at January 9, 2009 10:23 PM
Even more shame that you think this Jay Kaplan guy has got some talent.
Though it may be cold...I think it's safe to say we didn't lose any one important. Rest easy, people! It's all good.
Yes, much work deserves to be viewed, even posthumously.
This guy? ...Not so much.
And before I face the shitstorm of people deeming me cruel, c'mon. Someone had to say it.
Posted by: Riley at January 9, 2009 10:37 PM
If Juno had be written by me, the movie would've ended after the pregnancy test scene. Something along the lines of a trip down the stairs or an encounter with a rusty coat hanger. Haven't worked out the details. All I know is it has to be a RUSTY coat hanger. Cause if the hanger doesn't kill it, the tetanis will.*
*Porkchop does not condone back alley abortions. Just regular ones performed by trained physicians.
The first bit was funny, the next two less so. That's when I stopped, so I have no comment about the rest. It was a bad idea to watch this while also watching my 6 month old play in his jumper.
My very sincere condolences to his friends and family. The story of his death is horribly sad and uplifting at the same time.
Posted by: Captain Tuttle at January 10, 2009 9:05 AM
The first bit was funny, the next two less so. That's when I stopped, so I have no comment about the rest. It was a bad idea to watch this while also watching my 6 month old play in his jumper.
My very sincere condolences to his friends and family. The story of his death is horribly sad and uplifting at the same time.
Posted by: Captain Tuttle at January 10, 2009 9:06 AM
The first bit was funny, the next two less so. That's when I stopped, so I have no comment about the rest. It was a bad idea to watch this while also watching my 6 month old play in his jumper.
My very sincere condolences to his friends and family. The story of his death is horribly sad and uplifting at the same time.
Posted by: Captain Tuttle at January 10, 2009 9:06 AM
Damn, sorry about the multiple postings. I'm not normally a dumbass.
Posted by: Catpain Tuttle at January 10, 2009 9:08 AM
Huh, is it wrong that I found this neither funny or horrifying but just sort of boring? I really hate repetative jokes....except in family guy they could kill a baby in a thousand different ways and as long as it ended with a hilarious song and dance number I'd watch it till the cows came home. And when the cows did come come I'd say 'Hey what are you playing at Im watching Family guy!!"
That said Im sorry for his family and send them my condolences.
Posted by: nieve at January 10, 2009 9:33 AM
Had Juno been black I'm sure the majority of you would have thought oh, that's just the way they roll.
If a black kid named Juno had gotten pregnant, it probably would have been the same, but come on, man, you know it would have been Shaniqua or MC Jhericurl or Bronx Mowgli or some shit.
Posted by: rikkitikkitavi at January 10, 2009 10:19 AM
Nah.
Posted by: Cletus at January 10, 2009 10:24 AM
Sometimes I wonder how people view me, and sometimes I don't.
Posted by: Pookie at January 10, 2009 10:29 AM
I'm sitting here watching the movie "Sideways" and it reminds me of the time I went out with this lady, she goes and order a bottle of wine and she asks me my preference. So with my ignorant ass I tell her I only drink Yac, she gives me this quizzical look like, hey dude, what the fuck are you talking about? And what the fuck is Yac? I tell her it's short for Cognac. It's just a small inconsequential story that I can look back on and laugh.
Posted by: Pookie at January 10, 2009 10:43 AM
Pookie is for real if you believe in him.
Posted by: Lucas at January 10, 2009 2:59 PM
Um, not that this has anything to DO with it, but you know what I hate?
The fact that in movies and television, the pregnant woman instantly goes back to thin five minutes after giving birth.
Always.
Not only did my BODY not go straight back to thin after I gave birth to my darling son, the light of my life, my goddamned FACE stayed fucking fat for weeks.
And did pop culture prepare me for that? No. So, post-partum depression was COMPOUNDED by the unbelievable SHOCK that was my own goddamned reflection, day after day -- fat fat fat.
And yeah, no thanks to the absurd lengths to which the Hollywood liars go, those fucking bitches who immediately start popping amphetamines and starving themselves and going for fucking four mile runs the day after they fucking give birth -- THEY'RE a big help in the war on the self-image of the average American woman.
"Breastfeeding and running after my other kids, that's what did it!"
They should have stopped after the first two. After that it stopped being funny.
Posted by: QueBarbara at January 10, 2009 8:01 PM
"Though it may be cold...I think it's safe to say we didn't lose any one important. Rest easy, people! It's all good."
whether you liked the video or not, and I have to admit, it's not my favorite piece of jay's work, it is appalling and completely inappropriate to make a judgment on the value of his life based on this. please try to remember that these comments are public, and could easily be read by jay's parents, his brothers, his wife.
Posted by: sarah at January 10, 2009 9:50 PM
If his parents, his brothers or his wife are reading the comments here, I think it's safe to assume that they got his sense of humour and are reading these comments LONG after the initial pain has passed. Because let's face it, you aren't reading fucking PAJIBA if your pain is still goddamned raw.
Let's not be keeping cows sacred on a site that eats its meat fucking raw.
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Posted by: Amy at January 11, 2009 1:55 AM
I have no problem with any comments relating to the video, good or bad. I was referring to one specific comment, which I quoted, that I felt was incredibly inappropriate.
Fucking I.T. department! Is there a link for this somewhere?