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All the TV News You Need to Know While Standing in Line to Buy Those Crappy Things You Don't Need Because They're Cheap

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | November 23, 2012 | Comments ()


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Elizabeth Henstridge and Iain De Caestecker are the latest additions to Joss Whedon's "SHIELD" television series, playing the science whiz and the gadget dick, respectively. They look like this.

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My question is, who are these people and where are the Whedon regulars? Why is this cast shaping up to look like a CW knock-off? WE EXPECT MORE, DAMNIT.

In case you haven't yet heard, on Wednesday night it was announced that Chevy Chase had quit NBC's "Community," effective immediately. However, it's not that big of a deal to the show because the finale of the 13-episode season has already been filmed (they shot the episodes out of order), and there are only one or two episodes left to shoot, and the show is very unlikely to get a fifth season. His absence may not even be felt. Why did he leave? No official reason has been given, but the unofficial one is that Chevy Chase is a huge f*cking dick. The end.

Can we just all agree right now that Jessica Brown Findlay is the prettiest reason to watch "Downton Abbey"? We can! Good. It's settled then.

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From the Sports Illustrated Vault, and the Twitter account of Andy Gray, here's a picture of Jon Stewart in his soccer days at William & Mary.

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Just FYI: As we announced earlier this week, ABC has cancelled by "Last Resort" and "666 Park Avenue," but if -- like me -- you're going to stick it out until the bitter end (at least with "Last Resort"), you might be heartened to know that the show runners will provide some closure at the end of their original 13-episode orders. So, you don't have to quit on it, thinking you'll never get any resolution.

The December 17th episode of "How I Met Your Mother," will be the show's first hour-long one. Why? Because "Some really big crap happens." It's probably Robin and Barney's engagement, but if the show's frustrating history is any indication, it'll just be Ted coming to terms with the fact that he's never going to be with Robin (again) and rekindling his relationship with Victoria (again). HOORAY for recycled plot lines in perpetuity. Bring on seven more seasons!

Here's your first look at Patton Oswalt as Constable Bob in next season's "Justified."

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Who is winning the Sunday night cable drama competition this fall? If you're curious:

1. "Walking Dead" -- 13.4 million viewers
2. "Boardwalk Empire" -- 3.4 million viewers
3. "Dexter" -- 3.3 million viewers
4. "Homeland" -- 3.0 million viewers

Who is winning in terms of pure quality, according to my completely objective opinion? NO ONE DENIES THIS.

1. "Walking Dead"
2. "Boardwalk Empire"
3. "Homeland"
4. "Dexter"

In celebrity news, Mayim Bialik is divorcing this guy, citing irreconcilable differences.

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IN THE MOST IMPORTANT NEWS OF THE DAY, Lindsay Lohan's Lifetime movie, "Liz and Dick" airs on Sunday night, and folks, you're in for a treat, as Courtney Enlow will be live-blogging it on the site. Do stop by. Bring boxed wine, a $100 bill, and a few lines of coke, if you got 'em.

Finally, Alicia Keys was on Jimmy Fallon's show this week, where she sang a truly soulful, rousing version of "The Gummi Bears Theme Song." It will strip the hair off your pubus, folks.

Hopefully, Adele will come on soon to do the "Care Bears" theme song.




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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Can we just all agree right now that Jessica Brown Findlay is the prettiest reason to watch “Downton Abbey”? We can! Good. It’s settled then.

    I'll just leave that there ..

  • That girl sure is pretty, but those are some of the blandest photos I've ever seen. That's OK. Not every pretty girl can be a model.

  • Kip Hackman

    I nominate Josh Groban to sing the Pokemon theme song.

  • Jezzer

    "Why did he leave? No official reason has been given, but the unofficial one is that Chevy Chase is a huge f*cking dick."

    Oh, the same reason Dan Harmon left.

    Mayim and her soon-to-be-ex should rethink this. This might be the prettiest person either of them is ever with.

  • Bodhi

    I'm not even bothering to hide my excitement for Liz & Dick. Its going to be a disaster of epic proportions. I generally dislike watching people embarrass themselves, but I will make an exception for La Lohan. I do feel sorry for the guy playing Burton & I hope he gets at least a few pity roles after this

  • Malware

    Thanks for posting that Alicia Keys video, she is awesome.

  • Pat

    Bless you sir and madam for the upcoming Liz and Dick live-blog.

  • Masterpiece

    Boardwalk over Walking Dead

  • Uriah_Creep

    It will strip the hair off your pubus, folks.

    Lies! My nethers remain hirsute.

  • TheAggroCraig

    Alica's version is even better than Rockapella's

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Alicia has really become a lovely woman. That is all.

  • googergieger

    WHOA!

    Haha! Easy internet impression.

  • dizzylucy

    "Constable Bob" sounds like a name that belongs on another show, buy you can never go wrong with a Raylan photo.

  • Eva

    Soooooo When's the Life of Pi review going up?

  • disqus_N4EigheiZo

    I love the Whedon regulars, but just here to point out that Iain De Caestecker was great in the underrated series, "The Fades." I'll continue lurking now.

  • Sirilicious

    Also, from this pic he doesn't seem like CW beefcake. He could have been a mathgeek in my highschool.

  • Pants_are_a_must

    Not the first time I saw pics of Stewart from his soccer days. HOTASS.

  • Steph

    Has the Walking Dead finally gotten good? Serious question.

  • Another vote for yes. Things are actually happening. Big things. Last season I was hoping for things to improve in each episode. Now I look forward to seeing what will happen in each episode.

    But just to keep things partially in line with last season, Andrea is still pretty damned annoying.

  • DeltaJuliet

    After every episode, I look at my husband and say "I fucking HATE Andrea. HATE her"

  • John G.

    I made a list last year of what they should do to fix the show, and they have now done everything on that list.

  • pajiba

    YES

  • Sirilicious

    If you enjoy Jessica Brown Findlay, it's worth it to track down (British) Black Mirror episode 1.2 named Fifteen Million Merits. This series has a Twilight Zone vibe to it. If you like your TV really disturbing and thoughtprovoking, try episode 1.1 The National Anthem. She isn't in that one, but the British Prime MInister fucking a pig is. Yes, really.

  • See this for her doing something very different. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt15...

  • Sirilicious

    I do not love her unconditionally. The synopsis sounds ok, the rating not so much. Is this worth watching besides for Jessica?

  • It's not great as a film, frustrating mostly because of some choices by director around plot and character execution. However, the talent is pretty good and the characters very watchable. Plus, her boobies, if you're into that.

  • Sirilicious

    Not so much, no. :)

  • koko temur

    holy shit, Stewart has thighs of steel!

  • Those thighs! YUM.

  • Guest

    I was just scrolling down to say!

    Thighs.

  • koko temur

    even the fact he has thighs is amazing by itself, but seeing him fit is just bizzare. never falling for your "i'm an old and fragile Jew" shtick ever gain!

  • Pants_are_a_must

    He loves pretending he's not, in fact, a total silver fox.

  • Bert_McGurt

    And in this case, "irreconcilable differences" means "dressing like Andy F*cking Sipowicz".

  • Blake

    Sorry but your list shoud be:

    1. “Homeland”
    2. "Misfits"
    3. “Walking Dead”
    4. “Boardwalk Empire”
    5. “Dexter”

    Bobs Burger would be #2 but it's not a hour long drama / cable thingy.

    I guess "the black guy" in SHIELD is be going to Agent Ward.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Misfits? I stopped watching after Sheehan left. The man held the whole thing together.

  • Oh sure. The Misfits get a new show, but not Jem. Not even the Holograms. That really is truly outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

  • Seany D

    I'm a big fan of the show, but sorry: Misfits is complete and utter horseshit this season. It's not even top 10.

  • Brittany

    I know. Misfits is terrible this season. None of the new powers, even the villain's powers just don't make sense. It used to be that the powers were the person's desires. It just doesn't seem that way anymore. Plus poor new little dude (whatever his name is) can't even seem to use his power.

  • Blake

    Sorry, I have to totally disagree with you, Series 4 has been great so far (with only episode 3 being average of the 4).

  • AudioSuede

    Are we not including Honey Boo-Boo?

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