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You Got Paid What?

So, What’s Your Situation? / Daniel Carlson

Trade News | February 16, 2009 | Comments (31)

Universal has acquired Jonah Hill’s new script The Adventurer’s Handbook as a starring vehicle for Hill and Jason Schwartzman. Co-written with Matt Spicer and Max Winkler, the story revolves around four twentysomething guys — like me! — who get their hands on Mick Conefrey’s travelogue The Adventurer’s Handbook and decide to set out on a voyage overseas to find a secret location mentioned in the book. It’s probably going to be a decent comedy about male bonding, and at least 37% of the characters will spend the film trying to get laid. You will rent it and laugh most of the time.

But the kicker is the price tag: Universal reportedly ponied up seven figures for the deal, meaning Hill was on Amazon one day and saw Conefrey’s book and thought, “What if some dude and his buds were dumb enough to try some of those adventurous trips?” And he banged out 120 pages and made a million dollars (at least). Your day now sucks.

The only consolation I can take is that Schwartzman is getting work. And for some reason, I think of this song:









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Comments

I quit. I quit Pajiba. I quit life.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at February 16, 2009 12:40 PM

I quit. I quit Pajiba. I quit life.

Posted by: insertclevernamehere at February 16, 2009 12:40 PM

Am I the only person who is totally over comedies about a few twenty-something guys who can't grow up and have a mature thought about a woman? Forty-year-old Virgin was fun. After that it was just one big self-congratulatory wank.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 16, 2009 12:48 PM

I assumed when Jonah Hill's screenwriting debut finally happened it would be be one big dick joke. Like, maybe the main character looks like a dick/has a tiny dick/ is an anthropomorphized dick-man (courtesy of Pixar's after hours division)

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 16, 2009 12:50 PM

Ouch, an admin with a double post! You fail Pajiba, Mr. Prisco.

:D

Posted by: Snath at February 16, 2009 12:54 PM

In other, unrelated Jonah Hill news, I saw Superbad: The Drawings at the store the other day and almost bought it. Who wouldn't want a book full of dick drawings?

Posted by: Snath at February 16, 2009 12:59 PM

You can't quit Pajiba after that, Prisco! You're fired!

Of course that would probably work out for the best, since now you can get severance pay. I wonder what kind of package one gets when one is fired from Pajiba. Probably a picture of Ryan Reynolds' abs and an Instant Lunch. I'm jealous. All I can ever find are Cup Noodles, and those can't compare.

Posted by: Sabrina at February 16, 2009 1:06 PM

I love that song! I've been trying to find a place to buy it for years.

Posted by: Nate at February 16, 2009 1:08 PM

Oooh hey, since you're quitting life too, that means the Instant Lunch will be available for looting! What's you address again?

Posted by: Sabrina at February 16, 2009 1:12 PM

By the way, that was not a typo. It's new, hip, youngster slang, like, "What's you numba, boo?"

Posted by: Sabrina at February 16, 2009 1:14 PM

Yeah Prisco, if I were a hack I would want to quit also.

Posted by: Pookie at February 16, 2009 1:17 PM

On a side note I want to apologize to you Sabrina. The other day I had a dream about you and I did some things to you that were not kosher, they were legal but not so kosher.

Posted by: Pookie at February 16, 2009 1:20 PM

If that day was Valentine's, then I was stoned and probably enjoyed it. If not, consider yourself slapped in the face with a white glove and challenged to a duel! Someone's gotta defend my honor. I certainly don't defend it enough.

Posted by: Sabrina at February 16, 2009 1:39 PM

Yes it was on Valentines Day and your honor was honored, somewhat. And please lets not talk about someone getting hit in the face if you know what I mean.

Posted by: Pookie at February 16, 2009 1:51 PM

Max Winkler is Henry's son. Talent!

Posted by: Lucie at February 16, 2009 1:54 PM

I don't think I know what you mean, Pookie, but I do hope you at least gave me a shiny necklace for Valentine's.

Posted by: Sabrina at February 16, 2009 2:01 PM

"Your day now sucks."

Speak for yourself. My day is going fucking great.

Anyway, I hope Jonah uses that money to buy a stationary bike or gastric bypass or his very own Subway for his home. Dude looks like he ate Will Ferrell.

Seth Rogen had all his fat surgically transferred to Jonah for safekeeping until Green Hornet finally gets made, and then Seth can have all his back fat back.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 16, 2009 2:03 PM

Im so over Jonah Hill. We get it: your a big boy that hides his insecurtiy behind jokes, you've got big crazy eyes, you might be gay (wouldn't that be SO funny with all the dick jokes you make! ), all moderately pretty young actresses are pumped there might be a part for them as your love interest. Okay, we allllllllllll get it. Can you please just step behind Kevin James. In the event Mr. Jeames falls out, please take one step forward.

Posted by: HeatherB! at February 16, 2009 2:09 PM

"It's probably going to be a decent comedy about male bonding,.."


No, it's gonna be 90 minutes of Jonah Hill doing his fat guy with a dirty mouth routine aaaaaand ending up with some pussy that's waaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 16, 2009 2:22 PM

90 Minutes of a fat guy getting hot pussy?

Great, Jonah is a younger, richer Ron Jeremy.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 16, 2009 5:15 PM

Dude looks like he ate Will Ferrell.

Excellent.

Posted by: mastodan at February 16, 2009 9:12 PM

Great, Jonah is a younger, richer Ron Jeremy.

Jonah can suck his own dick too?

Posted by: admin at February 16, 2009 11:24 PM

Well, admin, what do you think Slim meant by his "dirty mouth routine"?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 17, 2009 2:19 AM

I thought he was talking about profanity LOVE. Admittedly though, I am quite naive when it comes to matters of the heart.

Posted by: admin at February 17, 2009 6:43 AM

love jason schwartzman...!!
but i think he's working plenty....i read about some show he's doing for hbo and he just released a new album, which i haven't gotten yet, but just adore his first one.

Posted by: maxpurr9 at February 17, 2009 7:38 AM

I still like Jonah Hill. I can't stand a lot of the movies he's in but somehow my dislike never transfers over to him. This may sound bad but everyone's always talking about how unlikely it is that he could get the hot girls he hooks up with in movies yet I'm a hot girl and I'd hook up with Jonah Hill. He's really funny and he seems like he'd be fun. I'd just be on top. It works.

Posted by: becks at February 17, 2009 8:53 AM

Ohhh man I haven't seen Slackers in so damn long, I'm going to have to go find that damn movie now. Such a lovely song...

Posted by: RonnyK at February 17, 2009 9:48 AM

Ron Jeremy can suck his own dick? Dude looks like a walrus that ate a watermelon, I don't understand how that geometry works.

Seems like no matter the length, the angle just won't cut it.

Posted by: Snath at February 17, 2009 12:17 PM

Snath, two things:

1. Thats why they call him the Hedgehog; and

2. You sound like a man who has attempted it once or twice in his life.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 17, 2009 1:07 PM

You can't make me tell.

Posted by: Snath at February 18, 2009 9:06 AM

Jason Schwartzman should seriously be bigger than every other comedic actor in the country, and yet he's relegated to back-burner indie status. Someday, there will be justice in the world. It will start with Jason Schwartzman being king of Hollywood.

Posted by: AudioSuede at February 19, 2009 3:15 PM