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Adam Sandler with the Greatest Comedic Idea of All Time


Hallelujah! / TK

Trade News | October 28, 2009 | Comments (22)


We are on a roll, people. It’s been a good week for movie news, ain’t it? Some cool trailers, the outstanding Coen brothers news, Matt Damon turning everything he touches to gold, Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela, Amy Adams (who is awesome by default). Yeah, things are looking up, aren’t they. Movies might actually be taking a turn in the right direction.

Yeah, well, go fuck yourselves, because Adam Sandler is here to piss on your rainbow.

Apparently, Sandler feels like he’s losing the war in hideously awful premises. He feels the fetid breath of the Wayans brothers down the back of his asshole neck, and he’s coming back to shit in the fruit bowl. His next project is a romantic comedy called Jack and Jill, a romantic comedy featuring a twin brother and sister — I assume the romance part isn’t between the siblings, but who fucking knows, right? I mean, we’ve got a goddamn Human Centipede movie to contend with, and someone else made a movie about raping zombies. I say we’ve reached the point where all bets are off.

Where was I?

Oh, right. Jack and Jill. So, here’s the catch. Are you ready for it? It’s brilliant. It’s a genius bit of cinematic tomfoolery. It’s a motherfucking humdinger, people. Wait for it… wait for it… He’s going to play both the brother and the sister! Fuckin’ aces, right? Yeah! Suck on that, Little Man. Adam Sandler will out-shittify even the shittiest of shit comedies.

Yeah. Here’s your No Whining Wednesday. All of you can go straight to hell.


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Comments

And what womans career will he destroy with this film? If there is any mercy in the world, they'll cast Meghan Fox opposite for this debacle. Bonus: may be one good booby shot there before her 'career' implodes!

Posted by: Xtreme at October 28, 2009 11:34 AM

No whining wednesday...awful shit....urg...aah...Adam Sandler...can't...hold....

*head explodes*

Posted by: commanderfunky at October 28, 2009 11:46 AM

He's retiring! Yay!

/reads post

Shit.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at October 28, 2009 11:47 AM

Dear Adam Sandler,

Nobody cares anymore. Go away.

Love,
Everyone

Posted by: ZombieNurse at October 28, 2009 11:54 AM

The only possible silver lining in this shit-cloud would be if Katherine Heigl plays the female lead.

Not only will co-starring with Sandler (hopefully) give her career herpes, but just imagine how miserable the two of them would make each other during filming.

Posted by: Jerce at October 28, 2009 12:05 PM

Didn't he lampoon just this sort of douchebaggery in Funny People? Am I crazy here?

Posted by: TheBoy at October 28, 2009 12:07 PM

Wait! This could be a blessing in disguise. All of Sandler's female leads go directly to leading lady pergatory, right? Well who's the leading lady? Sandler! He's going to end his own carreer!

Posted by: admin at October 28, 2009 12:19 PM

Fuck you superfluous 'r'. You get back in your god damn shit hole before I kick you in your stupid ugly nose!

Posted by: admin at October 28, 2009 12:21 PM

Nro, Ir shrall nrot, admin! Ir wrill bre silenrt nro longerr! IR ARM FRREE!!!

Posted by: Superfluous R at October 28, 2009 12:25 PM

OK, so all we need to do is get Sandler and Heigl to make a rom-com together. How hard can that be?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 12:27 PM

Here’s your No Whining Wednesday. All of you can go straight to hell.

You keep using those words...I don't think they mean what you think they mean...

Posted by: Lainey at October 28, 2009 12:38 PM

Tom Green needs to be in this movie.

Posted by: alphawhiskey at October 28, 2009 1:09 PM

To: Lindsey with an 'e'

Re: Yesterday

If that was a friendly jab:
Fuck you very much, I love you too. :-}
Really, I can go either way. I'm easy that way.

That was, indeed, intended as a friendly jab.

Posted by: Xtreme at October 28, 2009 1:19 PM

And that did indeed come off MUCH more defensive than I intended.

Kiss and make up?

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 1:28 PM

Kiss and make up?
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e'

Consider us made up.

Posted by: Xtreme at October 28, 2009 2:18 PM

Yea!
Peace in our time!
Nipple-Hummers for all!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 28, 2009 2:22 PM

"Fucking Aces"

The term is actually "Fucking Ace."

Fail.

Posted by: Adventureman at October 28, 2009 4:16 PM

Posted by: Adventureman at October 28, 2009 4:16 PM

You're fucking kidding me, right? Sorry, douchebag, not where I come from.

Posted by: TK at October 28, 2009 4:19 PM

IR ARM FRREE!!!

I don't know if work has turned my brain to mush or what, but that comment from Superfluous R had me giggling like a little girl.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 28, 2009 6:58 PM

Adam Sandler should produce more movies.
That would mean more very amusing comments on pajiba.
And that would mean more happiness and general amusement.
Sorry for that, everyone, but it's true.
Also, I think every future Adam Sandler movie will provide the opportunity to mention the Human Centipede again (which, by now, is very amusing indeed (or would be, if it wasn't so very horribly disgusting)). And there really aren't enough opportunities to do so, or are there?
I'm just saying. *shrugs*

Posted by: Padame at October 28, 2009 7:51 PM

Is this because Funny People wasn't a bigger hit? Is he running back into the arms of retardedly broad comedic premises because his one attempt at acting grown-up failed to meet expectations?

Come on, Adam. Keep trying. Funny People wasn't perfect, but I enjoyed it and it showed some real growth. Don't balls it up now.

Posted by: Daniel Hall at October 28, 2009 8:38 PM

It is an exciting time. I have long awaited the glory of Jethro/Jethrene: The Movie.

Posted by: firedmyass at October 29, 2009 3:45 PM





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