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Adam Sandler Joins The Candyland Movie: (cocks gun, points at temple)

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (10)

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Well, that’s that then. I think that between this, and yesterday’s “The Client List” TV series post, I’ve pretty much lost whatever will I had to live — at least in a theatrical sense. Because this is happening, folks. You know how they say, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure?” Well, in this case, Universal made a rare wise decision and dumped its plan to make a Candyland movie. But Columbia Pictures has apparently decided to make a stinky turd even stinkier, and not only did they snap up the rights (along with Happy Madison Studios), but they grabbed Sandler to star.

(slumps shoulders)

I don’t really have anything else to say about this, so I’ll let the brutally painful, soulless press release I had the misfortune of receiving tell the rest of the tale. It really tells you all need to know, believe me. If you need me, I’ll be drinking Drano laced with thumbtacks, then putting a bullet in my brain. Don’t let my wife name the kid anything stupid.

SWEET! ADAM SANDLER AND HAPPY MADISON TO PLAY “CANDY LAND”

Columbia Pictures, Happy Madison and Hasbro Team Up to Bring the Classic Game to the Big Screen

CULVER CITY, Calif., January 31, 2012 - Columbia Pictures, Happy Madison and Hasbro, Inc. are in final talks to develop Candy Land, a live action movie based on the bestselling Hasbro board game with Adam Sandler attached to star, it was jointly announced today by Doug Belgrad, President of Columbia Pictures, Hannah Minghella, President of Production for Columbia Pictures, and Brian Goldner, Hasbro President and CEO. Kevin Lima (Enchanted) is attached to direct the project for the studio with Sandler and Robert Smigel are in talks to write the screenplay.

Commenting on the announcement, Belgrad said, “Candy Land is more than just a game. It is a brand that children, parents and grandparents know and love. The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam. We are thrilled to partner with Hasbro and Happy Madison on this project.”

“The creative talent on board for this movie is amazing and we are excited to bring alive the world of Candy Land for kids and families everywhere,” Goldner added. “Sony/Columbia has been a wonderful creative partner as we develop another of our games, Risk, for the big screen. We are looking forward to working with Sony/Columbia and Adam Sandler and his team at Happy Madison Productions on this film.”









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Comments

Attention Hollywood: When you read the Variety headline "Movies for Gamers the NEXT BIG THING!", this is NOT what it meant.

Posted by: NateS1973 at February 1, 2012 12:11 PM

Don’t let my wife name the kid anything stupid.

Oh good.

So we're just going with plain old Algernon DaBrickashaw Cumberbatch StJohn Jedebiah Plaxico TK, Jr., then, right?

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 1, 2012 12:18 PM

Translation:

"If you liked Johnny Depp as an unearthly, unnerving, vaguely child molester-y germaphobe in CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, you'll LOVE Adam Sandler in his turn as a (literally) larger than life, vaguely learning disabled, baby talking man child in CANDY LAND.

Coming soon--Summer 2013

Price of admission: you human dignity & your everlasting soul"

That's better.

Posted by: VonnegutSlut at February 1, 2012 12:19 PM

Fan-fucking-tastical!!

Posted by: Django at February 1, 2012 1:14 PM

Coming soon--Summer 2013
Posted by: VonnegutSlut at February 1, 2012 12:19 PM

You give them far too much credit, I'm afraid. This is a Sandler vehicle, after all, there's no reason this can't be foisted upon us by mid April.

Posted by: lubeg at February 1, 2012 1:50 PM

Thank God they are at least finally working on that Risk movie I have been waiting my whole life for.

The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.

I hope they crush the Ukraine. Also, I hope they update the movie and make it a little more modern. South America should be worth way more than Australia, and they are both clearly worth more than Africa. It's ridiculous the way it is and will make the movie worthless if Australia and South America are still only worth 2 armies.

Finally, I hope they can get Adam Sandler to play in this also, preferably as The Ukraine.

Posted by: Green Eggs and Hamster at February 1, 2012 3:17 PM

My friend's ex-wife mäkes $42 höürly ön the cömpüter. She häs been withöüt wörk för 9 mönths büt läst mönth her päycheck wäs $2208 jüst wörking ön the cömpüter för ä few höürs. Reäd möre ön this site.... LazyCash10.c­om

Posted by: Douglas at February 1, 2012 6:30 PM

Hey there..."Douglas" schnookums... we've all been talking about you lately and we feel it's time for a proper intervention.

Now we know you're still hung up on your ex-wife banging out $42 dollars an hourly by putting her ankles through her hoop earrings while slamming her little man in the boat like Ike Turner on weekend bender while displayed on the webcam for all the teenager virgins out there who had the good sense to swipe their mothers' credit cards. Yes, we all know she's actually your wife and not your friend's as you have no friends. We know this because she's come to us to apologize for your behavior...and to fill us in on the truth about you.

I gotta be frank with ya Doogie, if you hadn't stepped out on her with your ball-washing co-worker at the bowling alley, maybe she wouldn't have kicked you out and shared her previously hidden talent. Instead she's moved onto to a condo on the other side of town and you're still stinking up the trailer. Just to let you know, she doesn't appreciate the unsolicited cyber-pimping you're doing for her. She's doing fine on her own and it won't get you back in her good graces. That parade float has set sail already. And no, you can't have the chaffing dish back that was a gift from her mother anyway.

Now be a god boy and go pester TMZ like a good little shame-bot.

Posted by: bleujayone at February 1, 2012 7:47 PM

'The world of Candy Land offers an extraordinary canvas upon which to create a fantastical, live-action family adventure film with a larger than life part for Adam.'

----------

What a ridiculous statement.

Unless... Unless the 'extraordinary canvas' is the wall behind that seedy strip club in the industrial part of town, and it's a 'larger than life part' because the medium used to paint it is the severely backed-up psychojizz of the old trenchcoat psycopath that used to hang around outside the front of the club.

As for the 'family adventure' - I'm guessing that's the pack of raccoons struggling vainly to stay afloat in the sudden torrent of ejaculate.

Posted by: zeke the pig at February 2, 2012 4:56 AM

Since the band broke up it has been a non stop descent for Lars Ümlaüt. Right now he is shilling for lazycash on Pajiba.

Posted by: Qualtinger at February 2, 2012 6:27 AM