Pajiba

"The film is about four folks who -- by "chance, tragedy, and divine intervention" -- meet at a bar on Christmas Eve. Whitaker will play a suicidal ex-priest who shares a special bond with a transsexual prostitute"

Didn't Umberto Eco and Neil Jordan already write that story?

As I remember the character in the book, I think Kidman is a good choice. I believe that the character is cold and calculating, with a lot of emphasis put on her physical appearence matching that personality. I can't think of anyone who looks more frigid and cruel than Kidman.

However, Zeta-Jones is probably a better actress, that is true.

As long as someone somewhere in the G.I. Joe movie asks the pivotal question: Who wants a body massage?

"However, Zeta-Jones is probably a better actress, that is true."

Catherine Zeta-Jones makes me want to rip out my eyes, she's so horrible!

So, will all the GI Joe actors sport thumbnails on the INSIDE of their thumbs? Cause, isn't that their trademark? They accidentally put the thumbnail on the wrong side of the hand on the original mold and decided to leave it, A: Because they couldn't afford to change it, and B: Because they thought it would make a good trademark. Personally, it just told me that Joe came from a family tree with no branches.

Having just seen Stardust and had to sit through trailers for The Golden Compass (looks like Narnia exploded), The Seeker (Harry Potter was a seeker, wasn't he?), and the SpiderWick Chronicals (Neverending Story III?), I think I'll wait to see the dust settle, and if any of these are still in the theatre at week 3, I might consider putting them on my Netflix list.

Yeah, I'm with Scully on this one. Zeta-Jones is fucking horrendous, and IMO, has done NOTHING to prove herself as an actress. What, Zorro? Entrapment? Zorro 2: Zorro Harder? I think Kidman is a great choice, and actually have hope for the movie. The trick will be how they handle the finale of book three, if/when they get to it.

As for G.I. Joe - meh. Whatever. I'm done with the whole "raped my childhood" shtick. We're grown ups now, folks. I'm assuming those of us who used to watch the cartoon and play with the toys no longer do so. And I'll bet that until the rumors of a film started, you hadn't even thought about it. So why get all busted up about it now?

I suppose I still get annoyed at comic book movies because I do still read some comic books. But even that... I'm not getting as furious as I once did. Maybe I'm getting older. Maybe Hollywood has worn me down. As in all things, perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between.

This comment is more for Seth since it is TV-oriented... but others may feel free to read and reply :) I read this morning that Joe Mantegna is joining the cast of Criminal Minds as the replacement for Mandy Patinkin. I'm still kinda pissed that he left. I loved him in Dead like Me, and I thought he was pretty great in Criminal Minds too so I hate to think of him as an ass in real life. Anywho... back to Joe... What are your thoughts on this casting choice?

Guess what, folks? There's a whole lot more "fuck you, fans" being thrown into that G.I. Joe flick. In the original draft of the script, it was actually going to be a buddy flick with...Action Man. And the villain's name? Cool Dude....Yeah, that's your frontal lobe leaking out of your nose. Apparently, the COO at Hasbro took his Taiwanese hooker's toungue out of his ear long enough to hear that no one liked the current script and had it rewritten, although they say it is combining elements from a previously written draft (which received a good review from the folks at LatinoReview.com) and the current piece of schlock.

I can never see this 'horrible' acting from Zeta-Jones or Kidman, they are pretty much passable to me. I mean, they have had some bad films, but I can't honestly say it was bad because of them. No skin off my nose, and I have seen worse.

It is funny, I knew about the G.I. Joe movie since 2004, and it is amusing to see there are people still just finding out about it. But I am with TK. Even though I do still whip out the collection from time to time, I am at the point where the childhood idols have already been destroyed by time. Any nostalgia that survived will be hardy enough to withstand a crappy movie or two. SO there isn't any reason to act like it is the end of civilization when stuff like this comes out.

But if it makes any of you doom-and-gloomers feel any better, a guy on Discovery Channel says the end will come in 2012, when the Solar system spins into the center of the universe and everything on Earth goes to crap. So, there is that to look forward to.

Sorry Dustin, you didn't manage to ruin my day since I don't care about GI Joe, Lost Boys or Forest Whitaker, and I thought the Dark Materials trailer looks pretty good.

Kate, however, sucker punched me with that terrible looking version of The Dark is Rising. Now I'm going to be cranky for the rest of the day.

I had a GI Joe as a child (still do actually) with the plastic movable joints and the fuzz as hair/beard. Granted, Joe was the pimp of the Barbie play-mansion, possibly due to the large number of daytime soaps that I grew up watching. Joe could kick Ken's ass any day of the week and frequently did. I knew this was coming. Nick Cage isn't signed up already, is he? What about that Shia kid? What non-acting waste of space will star in this? The toy onslaught will bother me far worse than the movie itself. I did convince my husband to not make me go to the theater to see Transformers based on a toy set that had the original Optimus Prime next to the Bay-ified version. Needless to say, he was pissed.

Manny, that is damned frightening. You have got to be kidding.

TK, I agree with the Kidman thing. As far as the "raped childhood" thing, here are my thoughts. For me, the annoyance factor is triggered by thoughts that Hollywood will try to pawn off my childhood as an original idea and bastardize every single good memory that I have associated with said object(See Transformers commercial that proclaims it as "Most original idea this summer" for an example). As far as I see it, it is like when a favorite actor does something that is unbelievably bad and said thing clouds all other performances that they will ever do. I don't play with my toys anymore, but the thought of the original does bring back happy memories of days when I wasn't so damned cynical.

He-man and She-ra will piss me off more than a Joe movie.

And why do I get the feeling that all of the religious subtext will be removed?

It's not even subtext... they state it all pretty clearly. It'll have to be something like... cutting out large chunks of the plot and changing the story entirely, not removing subtext.

Which really blows.

Boo! If they're going to make a "Jem and the Holograms" movie, I think the Fug Girls have find the prime candidate for the role of Jem: http://tinyurl.com/2fk2ye

@ Melody

I am dead serious. Latest news is Jason Statham is being sought for the role of Action Man. 2 kittens died after I typed that.

There is a 5-minute Golden Compass trailer from Comic-Con that alleviated most of the fears I had when I saw that normal trailer. It could actually be good. Here's the 5-minute clip:

http://www.hisdarkmaterials.org/news/his-dark-materials-movies/item/tgc-comic-con-footage

Doh, I got junk-filtered trying to post a link. But there is a 5-minute clip of Golden Compass from Comic-Con that you can find on the main page at hisdarkmaterials DOT org.

It greatly alleviated the fears I had when I first saw the standard trailer posted above. It could actually be... good.

Latino Review?

Figures.

Jason Statham? I thought he only did action movies that hardly anyone sees and that require him to do as little talking as possible. See Transporter, Transporter 2.

I am wary, but I would not be shocked if this were true.

TK, the My Little Pony thing was evil. Also kinda funny.

Depending upon the success of the Monopoly movie/soul killing experience, I think I am going to write a screenplay based on Freecell or maybe Solitaire.

I guess there's only one thing to say:

COBRAAAAAA!!!!

Jason Statham as Action Man in the GI Joe movie just might make him dead to me. And I don't want Handsome Rob to be dead to me. Dammit.

Now I'm off to re-read the HDM books before Golden Compass hits the screens so I can be truly pissed off when I see the movie.

Question: Will the movie have one those "Knowing is half the battle" PSAs at the end? I always loved those - they had one about downed power lines.

Where can I find the link to the My Little Pony thing? It was in one of the "Pajiba Love" posts, no?

I heard that the McConaugheschlong (not the man, the member) was playing Cobra. I'd hate to see that thing slither up anybody's Destro.

What is it about Pajiba that brings out the lame in me?

TL, thank you so much for that link to the 5-min Comic-Con preview for "The Golden Compass", it has restored my faith!

Does anyone know, are they expecting to make movies out of all 3 books? Because if I remember correctly, the first one is very open-ended, and the Subtle Knife was freakin awesome, but the third movie could get pretty messy...

Mrs. Coulter is supposed to be dark-haired and seductive. Nicole Kidman just isn't. And I'm not blown away by her acting, either. She's not horrible, but she sure seems brittle.

I have no interest in seeing Golden Compas el al, considering its attack on Christianity. Gregg Easterbrook had an interesting take on the subject: "Regarding the "Golden Compass" volumes, in them God is a central character -- but is actively evil, obsessed with causing people to suffer. The plotline of the books is that Christianity is a complete fraud and the source of all that is wrong with society; the final "Golden Compass" volume concerns a desperate attempt by the heroic children to kill God and obliterate every trace of Christianity from several universes. I found Pullman's arguments against Christianity puerile -- like recent anti-Christian books by Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris, the "Golden Compass" volumes resort to the cheap subterfuge of cataloging everything bad about religion while pretending belief has no positive qualities. Pullman, Dawkins and Harris are anti-faith jihadis: they don't just want to argue against the many faults of Christianity, they want faith forbidden. But however flawed the "Golden Compass" books might be, to advance anti-Christian views is Pullman's prerogative, and his art should be transferred authentically to the screen. Now that the Golden Compass volumes are becoming big-budget flicks, will Hollywood accurately depict their loathing of Christianity or turn the books into a mere adventure story?"

rlr260: Okay, I'll be your huckleberry -- that was a chuckler.

Isn't the subtext of His Dark Materials pretty anti-religion, esp. anti-Christian? (Or even the text above the subtext . . . what is that called? Nobody ever talks about that. [It's . . . the text]. Okay, that's right, but nobody ever talks about that. Thank you, Fred B.!)

I watched the longer trailer, and the production quality and acting look very good, even the CGI polar bear who out-acted Sam Elliott . . . BUT (everyone has a big one), I didn't see the anti-religion theme at all, and I don't see how Asshat Hollywood can allow such a theme, at least overtly. That would be an anti-family attack on our values and freedom, and there is no fucking way we can have that.

And, finally, how cool is it that the evil villainess' last name is "Coulter." Almost like real life, except Nicole Kidman doesn't look like a tranny vampire suspended on a wire hangar. Not usually anyway.

Socalled -- Let me try to address your points. There are zealots on both sides of the table, and I don't have much patience for either. Re Dawkins: You give one example of his position, which in and of itself seems pretty opened minded. However, he has also said, "I think a case can be made that faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate." He has said that religious people are that way because they are not as smart as atheists; that teaching religion to your children is "child abuse"; and it is his goal to convert all religious people to atheism, calling it a war of sorts. Sounds like Easterbrook was spot on. And interstingly, though you are apparently boycotting his TMQ, the guy actually says that the movie should not be censored. Now, I can stand some HONEST questioning of my religion, have in fact most likely taken more theology courses than anyone on this site, and do not mind people questioning my beliefs. Admittidly, I have not read The Golden Compass books, but you dont seem to refute Easterbrook's statement that the book infers that God is evil. From some of the posts about the third book -- death of God, etc. -- I have heard enough. How about if I wrote a book that makes an argument that YOUR parents are evil, child abusing grifters. You gonna have an open mind and see that on the big screen? People on this site -- and in this Daily Trade Round-up, for example, openly prejudge G.I. Joe and the next crappy bunch of movies, but I can't make a pre-judgment on anti-God drivel?

How does anti-faith get twisted into a bad thing?

What sane person could give it any serious thought and support the right to religious freedom? We'd have to tolerate old-school Hindus burning widows alive, hardcore Muslims stoning suspected deviants to death, JoHo kiddies dying horrible pointless deaths from lack of simple medical care.....the list is infinite.

Although, I would gladly support Scientologists right to be hunted down by the giant alien carniverous lizard beings, as long as the scaly critters leave the rest of us out of it

Hot Fuzz?

Inland Empire?

[Y]ou dont seem to refute Easterbrook's statement that the book infers that God is evil.

Um, JP, I don't know enough about The Golden Compass to speak to whether Easterbrook is correct about Pullman and did not try to do so.

[] How about if I wrote a book that makes an argument that YOUR parents are evil, child abusing grifters.

Oh, please -- go ahead, and if it's well-done I will consider it as art. I'm secure enough that I don't actually give a shit what you or anyone else thinks about my parents or beliefs. That said, The Golden Compass is a well-regarded piece of art that I'm pretty sure does not attack your parents, any more than it attacks my Christian parents. I've seen plenty of art that strongly seeks to undermine my value system, that of my parents, that of my society, etc. I'm strong enough to (a) deal with it and (b) try to learn from it.

Sounds like Easterbrook was spot on.

WTF? Nothing you said detracts from my point that Easterbrook lied about Hawkins' beliefs. Hawkins has never taken the position that any government or other authority should "forbid faith," and in fact has said exactly the opposite. His argument is that the rest of us should argue strongly against faith and try to persuade people to abandon it, which is exactly what Christians are supposed to do, just in the other direction.

The strongest comment you came up with was that Dawkins believes his cause to be "a war of sorts." Well, JP, there's a war against teen pregnancy, a war against ignorance, a war against disease, and a war against gum plaque . . . . "War" is a metaphor . . . for about a million things besides "forbidding faith."

As for Easterbrook arguing against censoring the film, that's precisely the type of faux intellectual tolerance he typically uses to clothe his hypocrisy. This isn't the first time, by a long shot. For me, it's the last.

The only way I would watch a sequel to the Lost Boys is if they somehow brought Alex Winter back for a cameo appearance.

Come on, the guy needs work. It just isn't right that the stupid half of Bill and ted goes on to make millions and millions of dollars while Alex sits back and does lord knows what...

On second thought, I still wouldn't watch it.

From what I've read, Pullman picked Nicole Kidman personally. If it's good enough for the person who wrote the books, I trust his judgement. Same with Dakota Blue Richards, who he supposedly helped pick from literally thousands of girls. She's not exactly how I envisioned Lyra, but as long as the movie's good, I'm fine with it; she doesn't look awful so it's a win in my book. And no one's mentioned it, but does anyone else think Eva Green makes the best Serafina Pekkala EVER? Oh baby, she looks great.
Also, I really hope they don't whitewash the themes. A "children's" movie with homosexual angels, 12-year-olds getting severed fingers, and (SPOILER ALERT) the soul-crushing death of Lee Scoresby (which made me cry, by the way)? Awesome.
And I do hope they make the Subtle Knife. I agree it's totally kickass. I really want to see how they do the specters and everything.