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A Preview of a Preview of Jonah Hex

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (12)

jonah-hex-megan-fox.jpg

Here are three things that rarely elicit a huge box office: Westerns, movies based on graphic novels, and movies starring Megan Fox that are not called Transformers.

Jonah Hex, it seems, hasn’t got a prayer. It doesn’t help that there’s been talk of reshoots, a new director, and release date postponements. Things could get toxic before Jonah Hex is released this summer.

Nevertheless, the studio behind Hex claims that everything is on track, and a full-length trailer is due out later this week. In the meantime, here’s a preview of that trailer. Just in case you needed four milliseconds of Megan Fox to get you through the day. It’s just a shame that the best looking actor in this movie is disfigured all to hell.

You will have to excuse my slight enthusiasm for horseback riding and machine guns.










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Comments

For your approval, I would like to imagine the horse's conversation outside a saloon with another horse after riding into battle with the machine guns blazing.

Horse #2: Boy it sure it hot today, huh?
Horse #1: What's that?
Horse #2: I said, IT SURE IS HOT TODAY!
Horse #1: No, he's inside!
Horse #2: No, IT'S HOT OUT HERE! TODAY, IT'S PRETTY HOT!
Horse #1: *nods* Yeah! Yes!
Horse #2: CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Horse #1: Yes! Yes indeed!
Horse #2: You're just pretending to be able to hear me, aren't you?
Horse #1: Yes! I agree entirely!
Horse #2: None of the other horses like you *smile*.
Horse #1: I feel the same way!
Horse #2: You smell like gunpowder and excrement *smile*.
Horse #1: That's interesting!
Horse #2: Can I have sex with your sister?
*long pause*
Horse #1: Yes! Yes, absolutely!!

Posted by: superasente at April 26, 2010 5:31 PM

Weird.
"Revenge gets a ______ ."

What happened there, i wonder?

Posted by: Scott at April 26, 2010 5:32 PM

haha, Superasente.

Posted by: Stella at April 26, 2010 5:46 PM

Talk about a boobquake! AMIRITE

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 26, 2010 5:48 PM

I'm convinced this is the movie that will relegate Megan Fox to the Sci-Fi/USA Original movie circuit. Which is where she should have been in the first place, next to Nia Peeples.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 26, 2010 5:58 PM

I can get behind that, BSlim. It's just one step closer to her inevitable conclusion: Pr0ns

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 26, 2010 6:55 PM

BSlim, you remember Nia Peeples! I kind of love you a little right now.

Man, Megan Fox is teeny. I know they have her all corsetted up like Scarlet O'Hara, but she is miniscule. Like a little Bratz doll.

Posted by: greer at April 26, 2010 7:07 PM

Like a little Bratz doll.

With just as much plastic, and just as few actual emotions.

I know, I know, picking on Megan Fox is like shooting fish in a barrel, but I just can't HELP MYSELF.

Posted by: MM at April 26, 2010 7:17 PM

Can I just say, for the record, that whatever is on Megan Fox's chest in that photo isn't cleavage. It's scrawny, boobless skin pressed tightly together by what appears to be a pirate wench bodice (?!) and is simply misshapen flesh masquerading as delicious boobliness. A lot of people could do the same thing with... I don't know... arm flesh. Or... neck skin. It doesn't get to be cleavage just by appearing in the chest region. For more on this, see: Keira Knightley.

Posted by: sheshakes at April 26, 2010 11:16 PM

There's something wrong with the way her waist slims to mystic proportions in a matter of inches.
There is no way a waist can do that, the human body can only go so far.
Somebody airbrushed it, I'm guessing.

Posted by: Ada at April 27, 2010 7:16 AM

Fox sucks, Brolin rocks, horses with dual gatling guns...been there, done that.
If the film's like suprasente's scenario, then maybe.

Posted by: actwithoutdoing at April 27, 2010 7:32 AM

superasente*

Posted by: actwithoutdoing at April 27, 2010 7:34 AM