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Kevin Smith Accepts A Couple of Dicks

And No: It’s Not a Gay Porno / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | March 3, 2009 | Comments (11)

Coming off of his personal best grossing movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno (although it was a bit of a disappointment at the box office considering the stars involved, it still managed to out gross Dogma by nearly a million dollars), our boy Kevin Smith is branching out. For the first time in his career, Smith is actually going to direct someone else’s script (I had secretly hoped for the opposite — that he’d write a script for another director, preferably a comic-book movie).

As first reported by ERC Box Office, the movie, appropriately, is called A Couple of Dicks, neither of which will be Jay or Silent Bob. In fact, A Couple of Dicks is neither a View Askew flick nor, for the first time, a movie made with the Weinsteins, who have had a habit lately of completely dumping their films into ether (I think they may be eating them before they make it into theaters). In fact, Smith will now team with Warner Brothers, a studio that may finally put enough money into marketing one of his films to get him a certified box-office hit, although the tentative release date (January 29, 2010) is not exactly promising. But then again, Paul Blart opened in January with good results.

Anyway, the movie is a buddy cop movie, with a much better cop duo than the recently announced B Team with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. This one will star Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. Yeah. Bruce fucking Willis, a man who can open a motherfucking film. Hopefully, Tracy Morgan won’t actually try to act, which is to say: Tracy Morgan is good at one thing only: Playing Tracy Morgan/Jordan. Get the man a few ounces of something, wind him up, and put him on set. The rest will work itself out. Though details are scant, the movie is about two LAPD detective trying to track down a stolen baseball card. Ironically, that’s already more plot than most of Kevin Smith’s previous movies combined. The film was written by Robb and Marc Cullen, and it apparently won 2008’s best unproduced screenplay. Robin Williams had been attached alongside James Gandolfini, and he sued when production did not begin. So, if you can’t get excited about the fact that Kevin Smith is directing another film, then surely you can appreciate the fact that we’ve been saved from Robin Williams.

And speaking of dicks, here’s Kevin talking about Mewes’.


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Comments

They went from Robin Williams and James Gandolfini to Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan. I would pay to see how that happened (not that I'm not grateful that it did).

Posted by: PaddyDog at March 3, 2009 11:06 AM

Didn't Dogma have much bigger stars than Zack and Miri in it?

I agree with you, I would rather see him write for someone else than the opposite. It's like having Bob Dylan sing covers.

Posted by: Eep at March 3, 2009 11:08 AM

FUCK FAT SMITH!

I love that guy so goddamn much. He finally gets to make his Willis flick. I'll be there opening day, no matter what.

Posted by: Kevin Longrie at March 3, 2009 11:21 AM

This is doubly awesome after the anecdote Smith tells in "A Threevening With Kevin Smith" about Willis telling Kevin they should do something together and Kevin sheepishly admitting he has nothing Willis would possibly be interested in. Good for him. And now I can't WAIT until "An Evening With Kevin Smith Part 4" because his Bruce Willis anecdotes are going to be GREAT.

I just Kevin knows what he's getting into. I love the guy but Bruce Willis movies end up being co-directed by Bruce Willis.

BTW, "A Threevening" is the best of the Kevin Smith stand up shows. It's about 4 hours long and hilarious all the way through.

Posted by: TylerDFC at March 3, 2009 11:59 AM

*Snoogens*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at March 3, 2009 12:01 PM

I saw him last month in Hartford, and he was hyserical. Apparently he's spent the last four months holed up smoking weed, at least according to him. He asked the audience to hook him up about five times. I also got to find out that Hartford has a local semi-pro wrestler known as Ron Zombie. Who wrestles in Connecticut?

Posted by: MrCreosote at March 3, 2009 12:53 PM

Rowles, tell Kevin Smith he better keep pumping out those bullshittin' "An evening with Kevin Smith" DVDs if he wants to be able to keep paying his rent. FYI Rowles Tyler Perry's " Daddy's little Girls" made more than Smith's highest grossing film to date " Zach and Miri Make a Porno, yes really, I couldn't believe it myself. I know how much you love Smith and how much you despise Perry; I thought I would brighten your day a little with that information.

Toodles, P

Posted by: Pookie at March 3, 2009 1:30 PM

Would "An Evening With Kevin Smith Part 4" actually be called a fourvening?

Posted by: Odnon at March 3, 2009 2:22 PM

Cool.

During his last Smodcast, Kevin mentioned he would be directing something, without mentioning what it would be. He was saying the next thing would be done without Scott Moseir as his producing partner.

Maybe he has a new one up discussing this.

Posted by: Brian at March 3, 2009 5:53 PM

great. you know, everyone loves kevin smith, and i don't know why. all his movies collapse on themselves at the end, into the lamest "sincere" and "heartfelt" disasters, you can't forgive how poor his writing is at the ends of his films - he tries way too hard for that shit. and he doesn't even make jokes, he just puts "fucks" "pussies" and "shits" into different arrangements you hadn't thought of yet. oh! remember in zack and miri where that guy got his face shit on? fucking hilarious, yeah right. overrated.

Posted by: farik at March 3, 2009 7:00 PM

So Kevin Smith is set to direct a re-imagining of Black Cop White Cop?

Posted by: dylanj at March 4, 2009 9:52 AM