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8 Things You Need to Shove In Your Whore Mouths Today

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | April 4, 2013 | Comments ()


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"Arrested Development" season four finally has an official release date. All 15 episodes will be released on May 26th. That is the Sunday before Memorial Day, so at least we have two days to gorge on "Arrested Development" before the work week begins anew.

Chad L. Coleman, Sonequa Martin-Green, and Emily Kinney -- who play Tyreese, Sasha, and Beth, respectively -- have all been promoted to series regulars in season four of The Walking Dead, which has also confirmed the return of David Morrissey's Governor. That great news for Coleman, who I hope will become a force next season instead of the passive man of reason he was this season. Beth is like that character on "Survivor" who you don't even realize is on the show until around midway through the season. I hope they do something to make her more interesting.

Meanwhile, there's word that, should ABC cancel it, the USA Network has strong interest in picking up "Happy Endings" and pairing it with the "Modern Family" reruns it begins running this fall. It would be USA's first stab at half-hour comedy. I hope they pull the trigger, and I also hope that "Happy Endings" returns to its season two form because it's been something of a mess this year.

Christopher Abbot, who plays Charlie -- the boyfriend of Alison Williams' character -- on "Girls,' has abruptly quit the show after creative differences with Lena Dunham about the direction of his character. Given that his character is either a pathetic sad sack or a wealthy sad sack, I wonder which sad sack direction she was taking that character. I'm not disappointed with the departure. I like Abbot, but there was nothing left for he and Marnie besides repeating the same cycle.

Speaking of "Girls," we know have a better understanding of why Lena Dunham axed several members of the writing staff: Apparently, she wanted a more singular, cohesive vision, and she ultimately let go of the Los Angeles based writers because she only wanted to work with the New York writers, with whom she could share a writer's room in person.

Ellie Kemper, who will lose her "The Office" job come May, will join "American Dad," where she will voice Jenna, a popular girl Steve has secretly been in love with since kindergarten. Kemper is also in the NBC comedy, "Brenda Forever."

How's this for a cast: Timothy Olyphant has joined Jason Bateman and Tina Fey in an adaptation of Jonathan Tropper's This Is Where I Leave You. Olyphant will play a slightly brain-damaged pot smoker who lives with his mom. Jane Fonda, Ben Schwartz, Corey Stoll, Rose Byrne, Kathryn Hahn, and Adam Driver are also among the cast.

Finally, Leigthon Meester has joined the cast of The Judge. I don't really care about that, but I mention this only to remind you of the outstanding set of actors who have already signed on to the film: Robert Downey Jr., Vincent D'Onofrio, Robert Duvall, and Vera Farmiga. Damn. That's a cast, people. The Judge follows a lawyer who returns home after his mother's death only to learn that his estranged father, the town's judge, is suspected of murder


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • BlackRabbit

    My mouth is not a whore. It just loves eating a lot of different foods as often as possible.

  • e jerry powell

    My whore mouth is already full, thank you very much.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Between "whore" today and duck junk yesterday, it's been quite the week for headlines. God help me, if my scroll wheel ever gets stuck.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Not to mention the "vagina" and "p*ssy" headlines earlier. Those were the ones I was worried about.

  • dizzylucy

    "Timothy Olyphant has joined Jason Bateman and Tina Fey in an adaptation of Jonathan Tropper’s This Is Where I Leave You. Olyphant will play a slightly brain-damaged pot smoker who lives with his mom."

    Sorry, I like Happy Endings and the news it would be saved is good, but those two sentences up there are the best things I've read all day.

  • emmelemm

    Yeah, that just sounds.... delicious.

  • nachosanchez

    Why the hate for season 3 of Happy Endings, Dustin?

  • I don't get it either. Some of the earlier episodes have been not so great, but the last four and the Christmas episode are some of my favorites ever.

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    In the local paper today, there was an article that a town not that far from mine is being considered as a location for The Judge. So there's that.

  • Slim

    Although 'This Is Where I Leave You' isn't a Tropper I have read, that's a great cast for a Tropper-book-to-film. Except for Jane Fonda, perhaps. I hope deftly captures the author's good balance of pathos and humor... and that it doesn't suck.

  • competitivenonfiction

    I was actually hoping we'd see Marnie and Charlie settle for one another out of fear. It happens so often and I thought Dunham might be brave enough to have characters take this path.

  • ViciousTrollop

    Happy Endings might be saved?!?

  • Guest

    I will never shut my whore mouth about my love for Happy Endings.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I'd like to see them do something decent with Beth the Walking Stroller too. Maybe set her up as the one person who can reverse the Shane-ification of Carl (since he has a crush on her that was promptly abandoned partway into the season)? But like I said the other day, she'll probably just become this season's Andrea/Lori.

  • Yocean

    Seems like Lena Duh-numb thinks she is Matt Weiner but it probably will prove more that she is that Smash show runner lady. I mean I can kinda understanding her wanting more unified vision but cutting all the writers who she can't face personally in a room sounds more like she wants to to Influence and Control more than collaborate. However, the Girls being as train-wrecking so-bad-it's-good as Smash would be the only way I'd watch its glorious explosion of a final season. Alas, Most likely it's death will be a whimper tho.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You might need a dozen people to craft so much as a decent sentence, but that does not apply to everyone.

  • Guest
  • You forgot the most important, world-shattering news of all: it's Robert Downey Jr's birthday.
    Also mine.

    Prioritise as you will.

  • L.O.V.E.
  • :) gracias. I was hoping for some sort of special Beastie Boys reworking but I guess this'll do...

  • L.O.V.E.

    Now that is a tall order. Any tweaks to their stuff verges on vandalism. But let me give it a go. Forgive my lack of knowledge about British slang.

    Now Zeke chills real ill when he got money in the till
    Gonna fill his pockets with a lot a lot o' ten shills
    Sippin' pints of ale out at Primrose Hill
    If he don’t get arrested on his B-day, he’ll be chilly chill

    Guiness drinkin', chip eatin', shirt but no tie
    He got friends from pajiba offering to keep him high
    Get down with the V.E. and it ain't no hassle
    Running from a Bobby cuz he took a piss on Windsor Castle

    And now he gets to his flat ‘cuz he’s out on bail
    Got no bum fodder, so he grabs the Daily Mail.
    Petr Knava, alligata, sugar-coated bye and bye
    If he run out of scotch, it's off to Two Floors for rye.

    Smoother than James Bond
    Cuz he’s from Russia with LOVE
    Sipping tea, eating a crouton
    Cooler than Simon Le Bon

  • Well...what can I say...
    It's a helluva weekend that stands before me, but this... this'll stick with me through all the inner and outer space that I'll be exploring. Gracias, amigo

  • Mrs. Julien

    Happy Birthday Zeke! This is how I imagine you spending your special day -

    http://2-ps.googleusercontent....

  • It...actually probably will. In my head at least anyway...

    Now where's that all-syrup Squishee...

  • Mrs. Julien

    The third time's the charm.

  • kirbyjay

    Is he riding a bear bareback while holding a beer?

  • BWeaves

    Given where the photo cut off, I was kinda wondering what the bottom part of the photo looked like. Cough, cough.

  • Fabius_Maximus
  • Robert

    American Dad has really good guest writing. Lizzy Caplan had a lot to work with when she was Steve's overweight goth girlfriend Debbie for a few episodes and Patrick Stewart consistently gets the funniest content to work with.

  • I love that show so very much. It's incredibly under-rated

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