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'50 Shades Of Grey' Finds An Abalicious Replacement For Charlie Hunnam

By Joanna Robinson | Trade News | October 23, 2013 | Comments ()


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According to Deadline, 50 Shades Of Grey has a new Christian. Jamie Dornan, he of underwear and Once Upon a Time fame, will be wooing Dakota Johnson with kinky f*ckery, butt plugs, Red Rooms and an abundance of stilted dialogue. I actually quite liked Dornan for that brief period when I watched Once Upon A Time. In fact (don’t flay me, Jax lovers) I think Dornan has more charisma than Charlie Hunnam. What do you folks think, is this…

jamie-dornan-torso-1763875771.jpg

…an adequate replacement for this?

raaaaaaaaaaaaah.jpg





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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • e jerry powell

    That junk tuck is almost drag-worthy.

  • colostomybaggins

    Wish you would have used this pic. Opens up all kinds of kinky angles

    http://images5.fanpop.com/imag...

  • Zirza

    ...Because he wasn't creepy enough yet in The Fall.

  • Strand

    The fact that Hunnam was only going to make $125,000 from this shit stain and now they've replaced him with an unknown who'll probably work for even less... No offence to this guy, never seen any of his work, but it's now obvious that this project is nothing but a cynical cash-grab to be made as cheaply and quickly as possible, shoved into a convenient release window and make a gajillion dollars. I don't mind misguided, shitty movies when they're earnest... but this thing stinks of Twilight.

  • emmalita

    You should find The Fall. I believe it's still on Netflix streaming. He and Gillian Anderson are amazing. And this movie stinking of Twilight is appropriate, as the source material began it's life as Twilight fan fiction.

  • shaylynnvacca321

    My Uncle Brayden got a nearly
    new silver Ford Escape by parttime working online at home. blog here
    J­a­m­2­0­.­ℂ­o­m

  • BlackRabbit

    How are HIS abs?

  • KittySnide

    pre-emptively barfing at the thought of Christian Grey fangirls discovering Paul Spector and falling for him.
    they are going to RUIN "The Fall".

  • KittySnide

    though it makes a perfect epilogue for 50 Shades?

  • emmalita

    Cristian Grey, serial killer. Yup. Works for me. Still not going to watch it.

  • Skyler Durden

    So Matt Bomer, Henry Cavill, and Joe Mangianello all jerked off on a cookie and gave the product to a sorcerer.

    Why not. I'll take it. You go, Macamang. Because that's your name now. Macamang.

    You. Go.

    Macamang.

  • Ben

    Well his career is over. Too bad I thought he was good in The Fall.

  • Maguita NYC

    No man ever looked this ovary-frying hot and delicious in his undies since Beckham did his Emporio Armani gig.

    Hot diggity, Imma be watchin' some 50 Shades of Shit!

  • WhoDeyKY

    It is way too early to be this turned on. HOT DAMN.

  • Maguita NYC

    I find a good David goes so well with a good cuppa Joe.

  • WhoDeyKY

    David and Joe are welcome to join my morning any time.

  • emmalita

    Friends don't let friends watch 50 Shades of Grey with the sound on.

  • Maguita NYC

    Friends are cruel friends when they don't let friends hear important performance moaning, groaning and grunting!

    I'll sacrifice a few moments of boring dialogue, mind-numbing banter, just so I could stare at that hot man in pretend action. And listen closely to severely judge his performance. Naturally. :D

  • llp

    Or without a bottle of something delightful.

  • Guest

    ..

  • Ben

    I thought there were holes in the wood and he had, like... lego person hands at first. And now I can't unsee it and all the sexyness is ruined by his hilarious childs toy hands.

  • Maguita NYC

    Then look at what's between both holes. You'll stop laughing ;)

  • MGMcD

    I don't know, reading the sentence "look at what's between both holes" is pretty damn hilarious :)

  • Wigamer

    And maybe even cry tears of a joy that such a thing exists.

  • Maguita NYC

    Tears of utter joy and moistening lions, they go well together in specific ogling hot-men cases.

  • Wigamer

    I am now sporting two crispy-fried ovaries. Thank you.

  • Maguita NYC

    Any. Time.

  • SelenaMac

    Those legs go all the way to the floor.

  • Mrs. Julien

    TWICE!

  • Maguita NYC

    As opposed to ... all the way on my bed? :D

  • We get a post about this, but not a breath about the return of Sherlock? Or did I miss something?

  • emmalita

    I believe a retaining wall is being built before Sherlock and Watson posts start. I'm just not sure if it's to keep the moist lions in or out.

  • Melissa D

    Moist lions? Do you think they look as silly as wet cats?

  • Maguita NYC

    We ladies of Pajiba keep our Moist Lions behind locked pads until it is time to release them for Idris Elba, hot men in underwear, hotter women in underwear, Mads Mikkelsen, Ewan McGreggor, The Please CumberMyBatch, Ewan McGreggor, Idris Elba, Non-talking Henry Cavill and Jason Momoa, DAT CAP ASS, Tea-Cup Boyfriends (Jeremy Renner, Christoper Waltz, Aaron Paul), Michael FastMyBender, Idris Elba, Ewan McGreggor, ...

    Lionesses imma gonna need your help here, I get the feeling I've forgotten someones that Moisten our Roaring Lions.

  • PerpetualIntern

    I'm pretty sure my lions actually drowned looking at that photo of Beckham.

  • JoannaRobinson

    But, but, I already DID Cumberbatch today. HOW MUCH CAN ONE WOMAN BATCH?

  • So it seems that they're bitching a bit about your bit of batching.

  • John G.

    abilicious? Oh, Joanna!

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I really hope you mean Dakota Johnson because otherwise... blergh.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Oh yeah I fixed it.

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