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Get Rich and Stop Tryin'

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (16)

50cent1.jpg

Curtis Jackson (aka 50 Cent) apparently refuses to learn his lesson. After mucking up the screen in the atrocious Get Rich or Die Tryin’ back in 2005, he’s been in a steady stream of forgettable films, the most well-known being the massively disappointing Righteous Kill. Well, he’s not done. Jackson is apparently going to try to translate his mumble-hop rap style into acting once again, this time for Things Fall Apart.

According to Variety, the film is about “a star football running back, played by Jackson, who faces a personal tragedy as well as his own mortality while in his senior year in college.” Oh, goodie. It’s got all the earmarks of a triumph of the human spirit sports flick (which I’m frequently a sucker for), but it stars one of the most overrated rappers/weakest actors of our time. I won’t deny that Jackson has a look and attitude that Hollywood execs likely dream about — sort of a Tyrese Gibson with more street cred — but he’s a shit actor. The film will be directed by Mario Van Peebles, who I feel like I should like even though, with the exception of New Jack City and a couple of other films, most f his directorial efforts have been hot messes. Plus, he was in Highlander III: The Sorcerer, and that’s not the kind of shit you can just forgive.

The film is being developed through Jackson’s Cheetah Vision Films production company, proving that having a production company means jack shit these days.









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Comments

I thought it would be an adaptation of Chinua Achebe's "Things Fall Apart," but before killing myself I decided to read beyond the headline.

Though...I have a feeling that it might STILL be an Achebe adaptation, but in the college football context, for the kids. That would still kill my soul a little bit.

Posted by: Mr. Tusks at February 23, 2010 10:49 AM

I just had a mini heart-attack because I thought he was starring in a film version of Chinua Achebe's 'Things Fall Apart'. Since I never plan on voluntarily seeing anything starring Curtis, I don't really care about this film. I'm just happy he's not going to rape Achebe's novel.

Posted by: Domzy at February 23, 2010 10:51 AM

"Everything Falls Apart: The Husker Du Story," THAT I'd watch.

Posted by: , at February 23, 2010 11:11 AM

Jeezy Creezy. You can't scare us like that. I could feel the bile rising in my throat just by reading the little link from the Doc Savage news.
Hoo boy. I need to sit down. That was a close one.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at February 23, 2010 11:28 AM

I thought the same thing about the title. I was about to be very upset. As is, I'm mildly perturbed.

Posted by: ChristianH at February 23, 2010 11:30 AM

I second Domzy and Mr. Tusks. I was about to break a whole bunch of shit if 50 Cent was star in the Achebe adaption.

Posted by: buttercup at February 23, 2010 11:55 AM

Cheetah Vision? heeheeheee. I'm gonna start a production company and call it Terrier Smell.

Posted by: figgy at February 23, 2010 12:08 PM

I thought he was going to try and act like he could rap over The Roots' 1999 classic Things Fall Apart, which is something I would love to watch.

Posted by: Benny at February 23, 2010 12:26 PM

Mario Van Peebles you say? The Earl of Funk? The Duke of Cool? The Ayatollah of Rock-and-Roll-a?

Last time I checked he was enjoying his dream vacation off the face of the planet.

Welcome back Mario. I'ma go kill Chinua Achebe so he can roll over in his grave based solely on title association.

Hopefully this movie ends with Fitty hanging himself as the rival football coach comes to confront him for paralyzing the rival team's star running back.

Posted by: PissBoy at February 23, 2010 12:38 PM

Fiddy's one of the worst rappers ever, he has the lyrical skills of Fred Durst, the douchebag-ness of Master P, the delivery skills of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, and a sense of humor so bone dry, it could turn lake Michigan into a desert.

If he wasn't shot 9 times, he'd be serving curly fries at Arbys while selling crack on the side.

Posted by: George at February 23, 2010 12:44 PM

C'mon, TK. You mean to tell me you didn't spend good money to see Posse the night it opened? Who couldn't love a hip-hop Western staring Tiny Lister, Big Daddy Kane and Stephen Baldwin? In fact, give the general 'Jiba love for crazy-ass concepts that turn into shitballs retarded movies, Posse should really be a beloved classic around here.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at February 23, 2010 12:49 PM

Seriously, TK, you gotta warn a sista before you put up a title like that. I lost consciousness and then woke up covered in my own vomit. I could have died.

Posted by: Jelinas at February 23, 2010 1:45 PM

@Jelinas, etc.:

MUHAHAHAHAAHA!

Posted by: TK at February 23, 2010 1:46 PM

You bastard. Actually it's not your fault, it's whoever came up with that title. That's just NOT funny! Now...how long till Hollywood decides to shit all over Achebe's work? Hmm? Who do you think will play Okwonko? Will Smith? Oooh or better yet, Jamie Foxx. Oh yeah...now you can all go shoot yourselves because you KNOW this is going to happen.

Posted by: Joker at February 23, 2010 2:41 PM

That over sized and tattooed toddler with anger issues and a microphone at the top of the page has been shooting parts of this movie, and a few others he's "self produced" in the city I call home in the Mitten State. I think Val Kilmer was in one of them. ("Gun," which IMDB lists as having a 2011 release date and currently in filming has had extensive shoots here.)

I guess our state's SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! Low LOW prices! approach to providing economic incentives for production companies to film here is working. Sort of.

Posted by: Roaddog at February 23, 2010 6:19 PM

*gasp*

You maniac. Okay, I'm done.

*gasp*

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at February 23, 2010 8:23 PM