50 Cent Jekyll and Hyde Movie

Welcome To Your Doom

By TK | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (27)

OK, it’s official. End times. Dogs and cats, living together. The dead will rise soon. Up is down. Black holes are going to spontaneously appear and devour our young. The Quickening. What I’m saying is, some shit is coming down, and this is clearly a sign that the end is nigh.

Because if you thought last week’s Keanu-as-Jekyll-and-Hyde news was fucked up, this is… I mean… this can’t be real, can it? Apparently, there’s another adaptation of the Stevenson classic in the works, to be directed by Abel Ferrerra (King of New York, Bad Lieutenant). This one will star Forrest Whitaker as the good Doctor Jekyll. And as Mr. Hyde? One Curtis James Jackson.

AKA 50 Cent.

50 fucking Cent.

We are all so fucked. If you need to find me, I’ll be in my basement, loading guns and sharpening knives, waiting for the apocalypse.

Farewell.

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Comments

Aw...with the tagline "welcome to your doom," I was expecting to see something about a new "Altered Beast" movie.

What I found isn't cool at all. Boo.

Posted by: Some Guy at May 14, 2009 11:37 AM

I thought the whole point of Jekyll and Hyde was to cast one actor in both roles. Shit, if Tweety bird can pull off both, why can't Oscar-winner Charles Jefferson?

Posted by: ed newman at May 14, 2009 11:38 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*cue "O Fortuna" Phil*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 14, 2009 11:39 AM

It saddens me that every Jekyll & Hyde remake makes me miss watching the Hoff play it on stage. And that is frightening.

Posted by: KatSings at May 14, 2009 11:44 AM

You spelled the title wrong. As Killface has taught us, it is "Welcome to You're Doom!"

Seriously, I got excited for a minute that it was news about more episodes of Frisky Dingo. Now I'm sad. Sad Boosh.

Posted by: Blakemas! at May 14, 2009 11:47 AM

I love 50 cents
I know a place you can date sexy tall girls
==Seekingtall. Co m==

Posted by: gate green at May 14, 2009 11:49 AM

Oh, fuck you Spambot. Goddamn fame whore.

Posted by: TK at May 14, 2009 11:56 AM

I used to really like the Adult Swim stuff, now I can't stand it. Frisky Dingo, Mighty Boosh, yadda yadda. Don't even get me started on that fucking awful Xavier thing.

I don't know, have I not given them enough of a chance? All I want is Sealab. Just give me more Sealab. And resurrect Harry Goz for it, otherwise it's pointless.

Posted by: Snath at May 14, 2009 11:57 AM

WHOA! Squidbillies is good, and some of Tim & Eric's stuff is funny as hell. You seen some of the cameos on that little show? Motherfucking Malkovich?
John C. Reilly?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 14, 2009 12:03 PM

Agreed on Tim and Eric and John C. Reilly.

"Ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring... It's because you make em' out of stupid water you bimbo."

Xavier is a trip, under the right mindset ;)

Posted by: J Stride at May 14, 2009 12:17 PM

'Bye, TK!

Posted by: Kolby at May 14, 2009 12:28 PM

"I love you, I'll find you, I WILL kill you"

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 14, 2009 12:37 PM

Just wanted to echo the Sad Boosh. Hope those of you in the know saw those two Xtacles episodes from a few months back...afraid that's all the Boosh we're going to get for a while. However "The Mighty Boosh" makes me LESS of a sad...er...boosh. Eels!

I dunno. I guess I just like saying "boosh".

Oh and J Stride? "What the heck am I gonna do for a date to the prom? Take your sister, dum-dum! She's a GIRL! For your health." The most amazing thing about Tim and Eric are the people they know.

Back on topic, ANYTHING involving that POS Fiddy Cent makes me wish for a Bon Jovi Friday. Power ring and I'm out, yo.

-GL

Posted by: Green Lantern at May 14, 2009 12:44 PM

Is everyone ready for Mr. Hyde to say this before killing you?:
"Mifferming bembertan fuhsho, beatarollin' at da club."

Posted by: Kballs at May 14, 2009 12:45 PM

I guess that's true about Tim & Eric, I've had "SPAGHET!" in my head for days now. I want to drop-kick Chippy through a sawmill, though.

Posted by: Snath at May 14, 2009 12:48 PM

Best Tim and Eric skit is:

The Poop Tube

"it doesn't smell good, but it smells better than it used to *FAAAART*"

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 14, 2009 12:55 PM

Oh, TK, what did I tell you about eating the WHOLE blotter? Now we're all on this crazy trip with you!!! Shiver.

Posted by: JenVegas at May 14, 2009 1:13 PM

Blakemas!
If you find out about new FD episodes, lettuce know!

Fitty Sent is the absolute monarch of all Bum-Snackers.

Posted by: Sweetie Dahling at May 14, 2009 1:25 PM

I’m so fucking tired of these rappers with their delusions of grandeur, I’m sure Mr. Cents can find another way to bore us other than with his acting.

Posted by: Guess who! at May 14, 2009 1:40 PM

50 Cent, you could probably kill me just by looking at me, and you've been through more than everyone on this site combined, but you're not an actor. You can't even play yourself. You need to hang up the silver screen, and go back to rapping about poping a cap in someones ass.

Posted by: George at May 14, 2009 1:43 PM

Except he can't rap either, so he only has posturing and vitamin water luxuries to fall back on. Granted he could prolly Scrooge McDuck all that money, but at least I won't have to hear or see him ever again.

I've always had a soft spot for Harvey Birdman on adult swim, I just can never catch it when its on. I get all pants-shrinking happy when I do though.

Posted by: Braski at May 14, 2009 3:18 PM

Thanks for that, GL. My roommate and I swear that Xtacles exists and we once saw an episode and we were going to watch it every week. We even started saying Bon Jovi Fridays. But then it never came back. Thank you for convincing me that it wasn't just alcohol-fueled visions.

Posted by: Optimus Rhyme at May 14, 2009 4:10 PM

A better headline would have been "50 Cent Skullfucks Robert Louis Stevenson."

Strangely enough, if he actually did do that, it would be the only interesting thing of his entire "career."

Posted by: Case at May 14, 2009 5:21 PM

Now if they want to a Keanu/Fiddy Jekyll & Hyde? I am there.

Posted by: greer at May 14, 2009 6:55 PM

Ow shit!

My basement isn't finished yet!

Posted by: Magiel at May 15, 2009 6:22 AM

Forest Whittaker and...Fiddy? I mean, they seriously couldn't find a more skilled Af-Am actor?

Posted by: samantha t at May 15, 2009 6:52 PM

Actually, 50cents isn't a half bad actor. He made a series of videos of him portraying himself as a bad ass pimp and geek. I recommend searching youtube or his website. He is very funny. I dare say he's a better actor than rapper.

Posted by: carrie at May 16, 2009 12:09 AM

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Welcome To Your Doom

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