5 Things You Must Know and/or See to Avoid Falling Into a Deep Pit of Despair
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5 Things You Must Know and/or See Immediately Lest You Fall Into a Deep Pit of Despair

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | July 5, 2012 | Comments ()


You're kidding me with this, right? We're really going to do this, on the 5th? Ugh. Welcome to the least productive day of the year, folks. Any hangovers out there? Of course not. You're still drunk. The hangover should hit around 11:30 a.m. EST.

Here are five immensely important things you must see and/or know this very second or you'll just die.

1. I'm sure you've all see a bald Matt Damon at some point over the last year, and wondered what movie role he'd shaved his head for. Turns out, it's for Neill Blomkamp's follow-up to District 9, Elysium. According to The Playlist, Elysium is "set in 2159, [where] Damon plays a man who takes on a daunting mission in a world where the very wealthy live on the pristine, man-made space station called Elysium, and fight to keep the citizens of Earth from illegally immigrating."

Cool. Here's the first look.


2. Sam Raimi's Oz: The Great and Powerful has unleashed its first movie poster. You may recall that the film is prequel to The Wizard of Oz that tracks how the Wizard ended up there. James Franco plays Oz, and he'll be surrounded by one of the more attractive female casts in recent memory: Rachel Weisz (Evanora), Mila Kunis (Theodora) and Michelle Williams (Glinda). That's very Pajiba-10y.


3. The other day, we showed you the first unofficial image of Naomi Watts as Princess Diana in Oliver Hirschbiegel's Caught in Flight, a film about Princess Diana's affair with Dr. Hasnat Kahn (Naveen Andrews, "Lost"). Here's your first official look, again via The Playlist.


4. The Amazing Spider-Man is already eying a trilogy, and why not? The $35 million opening on Tuesday was a record, and the film looks to make $140 million domestically before the weekend is out (I echo Dan's review: I wish the story wasn't so unoriginal because Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were lightning, y'all). Anyway, according to the Spider-Man Facebook page (via The Playlist), a movie trilogy is in the works, and there's a possibility of even more, with the Sinister Six -- Vulture, Electro, Kraven the Hunter, Mysterio, and Sandman -- being introduced and set up for a massive The Avengers like showdown in the third movie. Or the sixth movie. Or the 107th movie. I just hope Emma Stone escapes before the franchise swallows her up.

5. Finally, here's the trailer for Jesse Eisenberg's Why Stop Now?, about a piano prodigy (Eisenberg) who decides to enter his mother (Melissa Leo) into rehab on the day of his big audition. However, the rehab won't accept her unless she's high, so they have to procure drugs from some dealers (Tracy Morgan) before she can get in.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • PollyQ

    "However, the rehab won’t accept her unless she’s high, so they have to procure drugs from some dealers (Tracy Morgan) before she can get in."

    WTF? Whose genius idea for a plot was this?

  • Samantha

    Matt Damon looks like my little brother. Not good.

  • laylaness

    Well, at least Naomi looks better here than that pic from the other day.

  • Irina

    "Here are five immensely important things you must see and/or know this very second or you’ll just die."

    So you just saved everyone who read this? Way to play up your Messiah complex, Rowles. And I say that with love :D I'm one of your enablers, after all.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Naomi needs about 70% more eyeliner to look like Diana. And a different nose

  • googergieger

    Visionary director of the Spider Man trilogy? Not saying Raimi isn't a good director but, what the eff was so special about any of the original spider man

  • Bert_McGurt

    It could just mean visionary director, who also did the Spiderman trilogy.

  • Visionary poster

    This struck me oddly also. What a demented phrase.
    Visionary director of the Evil Dead series? Yes. But that's not poster friendly. Marketeers gonna market.

  • Orleanas

    I like the Oz poster. It is balanced (composition-wise) and says a lot with the visual without using too many words. That's what a good poster is supposed to do.

  • As far as Emma Stone escaping before the Spiderman series swallows her up, I think that's pretty much guaranteed. :::!!SpoilerAlert!!::: Her character, Gwen Stacy, is best known for her death, the first of its kind in the previously lighthearted comic industry. The climax of Sam Raimi's Spiderman 1 (the bridge scene with the Green Goblin, MJ, and the tram car) is completely based on Gwen Stacy's death scene, except that they switched in Mary Jane and had her survive. In the comics, Spidey uses his webs to stop Gwen's fall, but later realizes that the whiplash from the rapid declaration snapped his girlfriend's neck. So this means that if they kill off Gwen (which they probably will, its honestly the only reason to include her over the much well known MJ, and shit, how much are audiences going to freak out over spiderman accidentally killing Emma Stone) then they are going to be faced with the prospect of finding a sassy redhead to make Spiderman to forget about Emma Stone...good luck with that.

  • Green Lantern

    Thank you for pointing that out, Ben. I actually wouldn't mind seeing that scene done right. Think about it...big screen treatment? Million-dollar budget? Combination of stunt and CGI work?

    It could be epic. What a helluva way to exit a series than with a sorrowful neck-snap.

  • fribbley

    If the new Spider-Man movies follow Spider-Man canon at all, you needn't worry about dear Emma getting sucked in for the long haul...

  • Luke

    Yeah but why would they start following canon now after the first movie took a dump on canon. Though it would be a nice turn if they did

  • Dave Dorris

    The first movie did not "take a dump on" canon. It was far more faithful than Raimi's efforts in that regard.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I have a necklace like the one Naomi Watts is wearing. But mine is made of safety pins and sequins. But you know, otherwise the same.

    I like the Oz poster. Even though I am sad that one of the witch's names is one I have set aside for a future daughter, and it will make me seem like I am band-waggoning when I am NOT. If I should ever have a daughter.

    Also: saw Moonrise Kingdom yesterday. Enchanting. My favorite Wes movie since Rushmore. I was so-so on his others (still haven't seen Fantastic Mr. Fox though.)

  • llp

    Nobody will think you are bandwagoning, except fools. Most names have some kind of association for someone - movie character, kid they hated in elementary school, etc. You use what name you like for your future maybe daughter.

    So, it seems I have some strong feelings about this.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ha, indeed. Plus, this movie probably isn't going to have as big an effect as something like Twilight. I should get on that having a daughter thing.

  • people who name their kids after twilight characters should probably have their kids taken away from them.

  • NateMan

    My one quibble about the Matt Damon\Elysium pick; the brand name scrawled in big white letters across the side of the rifle. First off, a soldier isn't ever going to use something that makes him MORE visible. Second, who is it supposed to be advertising to, the people about to get shot? Not exactly much of a customer base.

  • Sirilicious

    It's genius urban camouflage. CHEM Rail is probably a brand for sprts wear in the future, so enemies think he's pointing a shoe at them. They'll never see it coming.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Third, dude looks like Bionic Commando.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Fourth, "Chem Rail" - Rail guns, if that's what it's supposed to be, aren't chemically driven.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Not yet.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    It's official. I now hate James Franco. Step the fuck off of my kool-aid, Saul Silver!

  • Sam

    Don't forget Zach Braff in Oz. He's pretty pajiba 10-y, he's only one of the best celebrities to follow on Twitter.

  • InternetMagpie

    God, that header picture fills me with regret. MILA, I'M SO SORRY I FORGOT TO INCLUDE YOU.

  • lowercase_ryan

    She's with King Douche now. She's dead to me.

    I see her now and all I can think about is Ashton getting ready to go to town and I KNOW he says something like "I can see your hoo-ha!"

    So much hate.

  • Scully

    More for me!

  • Jesse Eisenberg’s Why Stop Now?,

    Tracy Morgan is in it. FAIL.

  • KV

    Naomi Watts here looks more attractive and elegant than the late Diana!

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