In the day's top story, according to Variety, Pajiba favorite Michael Fasschlong is hoping to do what no one has done before him: Make a decent movie adapted from a video game (and yes, you Resident Evil fans can go screw). Fassbender will produce and star in an adaptation of one of the most popular video game series ever, Assassin's Creed. There's a complicated storyline involving a bartender assassin, Desmond, and an ancestor, both of whom will likely be played by Fassbender, and I'll just shut up there and let the commenters more familiar with the video game weigh in on whether this is a good idea. My initial take: Video-game movie: Bad. Michael Fassbender: Good.
If you're into that sort of thing, here's a 13-minute featurette on The Dark Knight Rises that teases the story and characters, and shows off the film's special effects. Me? I'm ignoring it. I'm going to wait 11 more days and just watch the damn movie.
We've long known that Benedict Cumberbatch will be playing a villain in J.J. Abrams' upcoming sequel to Star Trek, but we don't actually know who that villain will be. Many have speculated Khan, but Abrams himself has ruled that out. Now comes a slip in an interview with Karl Urban for his upcoming Dredd, in which he inadvertently lets slip the identity.
"He's awesome, he's a great addition, and I think his Gary Mitchell is going to be exemplary."
I'm sure that means something very important to Star Trek fans, but it means nothing to me. According to The Playlist, however, Gary Mitchell was a character in the third episode of the series.
Gary is a former Academy pal of Captain Kirk's, who gains telepathic and telekinetic, godlike powers. Spock advises Kirk to kill Mitchell, but he initially resists and tries to maroon him on a remote, industrial planet instead. But that effort fails and he's forced to take more drastic action.
Ahead of Comic Con, Warner Brothers has released a new teaser poster for The Hobbit.
Finally, in the world of crazy, a PRO-ANOREXIA website is coming down hard on Kate Upton, suggesting that she has "huge thighs, NO waist [and] big fat floppy boobs."
"She looks thick, vulgar, almost pornographic - and she is a solid 30lb too heavy for this outfit," the writer adds.
The website also slams the model for devouring a burger in steamy commercial for Carl's Jr., which hit television screens in March.
"I thought cannibalism was illegal?!? If that's not a very different species of cow, Kate could be in legal trouble!" the poster writes.