Jeremiah Friedman and Nick Palmer are writing the script.
I told you that you’d want to violently chuck kittens at clowns.
Talk of a Soapdish remake, which the Hollywood Cog first reported last year, has floated to the surface again. Now there’s a screenwriter, Ben Schwartz. The Cog originally reported that the remake will revolve around the behind-the-scenes machinations of a Spanish telenova. (THR)
You might want to freeze dry the kitten first.
Despite the disastrous results in converting last year’s Clash of the Titans into 3D in post-production, resulting in one of the worst 3D experiences since the 3D re-revolution, Jonathan Liebesman is nevertheless planning another post-production conversion for the sequel, which begins filming in 10 days. (Collider)
Go ahead. Attach a mace to the freeze-dried kitten.
According to TMZ (aka, Satan’s Internet Vagina), Kim Kardashian is reportedly up for the role of John Gotti’s daughter-in-law, Kim Gotti, in the movie about John Gotti’s life, where Mr. Gotti will be played by John Travolta.
Although nothing has changed but the title since The Hollywood Cog originally reported it months ago, THR is exclusively reporting that Louis Leterrier is attached to direct G (formerly Gravity), which is being described as a sci-fi cross between Taken and The Day After Tomorrow. Why is it being described as such? As the Cog originally reported, because it’s about a father who has to search for his lost child as the world stops spinning and Earth begins to lose its gravity. (THR, I guess)
After you knock the clown unconscious with your mace-wrapped freeze-dried kitten, feel free to kick that clown off the nearest cliff.
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
Posted by: OldSchool60 at February 24, 2011 12:49 PM
Can I just push the clown off the cliff? Or strap aforementioned clown to a missile aimed at Warner Bros?
Posted by: Aislinn at February 24, 2011 12:50 PM
John Travolta and Kim Kardashian in the same movie?
It's like combining 'Showgirls' with 'Battlefield Earth'.
My brain melted a little bit just thinking about that.
Posted by: OldSchool60 at February 24, 2011 12:53 PM
More remakes? Then what the hell are all those kids at The Coffee Bean typing up if not treatments?
Posted by: sars at February 24, 2011 12:55 PM
...as the world stops spinning and Earth begins to lose its gravity.
I need to check with Brian Cox (the younger), but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works.
Posted by: Simon at February 24, 2011 1:04 PM
WHY.
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
Sweet frelling Cheez Whiz.
Posted by: Jerry at February 24, 2011 1:05 PM
1. Because it's there!
2. Because it's there!
3. Because it's there!
4. Because it's there!
5. Because it's there!
Posted by: superasente at February 24, 2011 1:20 PM
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
Posted by: mrcreosote at February 24, 2011 1:29 PM
Fuck you guys.
Posted by: Clown at February 24, 2011 1:32 PM
John Travolta, literally, is too much of an effete princess to play John Gotti.
Oh, and he's also fat.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 24, 2011 1:38 PM
Instead of throwing a freeze-dried kitten attached to a mace at a clown, can I simply call in an air strike on the clown? The plane can shoot kittens at him instead of missiles.
Oh yes, and we need to dust off and nuke Warner Brothers from orbit. It's the only way to make sure ...
Posted by: The Wanderer at February 24, 2011 1:41 PM
But what if the clown read the column and is crying on the inside. Throwing kittens will not stop the madness and pain.......
Posted by: Halesonearth at February 24, 2011 1:50 PM
Kim K has never acted. Unless the reality TV star persona is just a role and she's really smarter, funnier, more humble and savvy than anyone ever knew.
But with so many cameras trailing her, I doubt it.
And rather than a Soapdish remake, how about a modern adaptation of "Soap"???? We need that back in our lives!
There's not enough soap in the world to wash Kim Kardashian's Satanic Gash of the Titans vagina.
Posted by: Paultera at February 24, 2011 4:35 PM
I'm not harming any kittens, but if I got the opportunity to throw a Kardashian under a bus, train, semi, burst dam or river of lava, I'd be happy to do that.
Posted by: Slash at February 24, 2011 5:23 PM
1. As long as the actress's mustache is properly shaved (why did I have to see that IWALY* close-up from the second row?!?! It definitely ruined women for me at the sensitive age of 13**) and she doesn't stop a plane in motion it can't possibly be worse than the original so kittens live.
2. They should make a Soapdish remake every year! Make this happen! Yay kittens!
3. But I'm a dog person anyway.
4. And would probably violently chuck something at a clown if I ever saw one on the street.
5. So, when do we start killin'?
*C'mon, use those brains!
**I exaggerate to make a point. As lovely and decorative as it is, vagina was never an option.
Posted by: schmerpes at February 24, 2011 6:23 PM
Why do I come in here? The headline may as well say "Stay out! Don't click this link!" Yet here I am again. Damn.
Posted by: greer at February 24, 2011 9:20 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong... I'm no scientist here... but wouldn't the Earth stopping its spin INCREASE gravity? After all, spinning objects HURL anything attached to them by centrifugal force, and the Earth spins at 1040 mph. Stopping its spin would lessen some of the centrifugal force it exerts on objects on it, so gravity'd be focused.
Not to mention that gravity is relative to an object's MASS, not to any external force. Jeez, the film's not sci-fi, it's fantasy, there's no actual SCIENCE involved >_
Posted by: Danny from Puerto Rico at February 25, 2011 4:13 AM
Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.
Posted by: mrcreosote at February 24, 2011 1:29 PM
--------------
You, sir, win.
Posted by: zeke the pig at February 25, 2011 4:31 AM
I'd rather shove the clown's ass full of dynamite and throw it at a kitten that I've already set on fire, thanks.
Posted by: dahlia6 at February 25, 2011 4:57 AM
Yeah, 1. As long as the actress's mustache is properly shaved (why did I have to see that IWALY* close-up from the second row?!?! It definitely ruined women for me at the sensitive age of 13**) and she doesn't stop a plane in motion it can't possibly be worse than the original so kittens live.
2. They should make a Soapdish remake every year! Make this happen! Yay kittens!
3. But I'm a dog person anyway.
4. And would probably violently chuck something at a clown if I ever saw one on the street.
5. So, when do we start killin'?
Dustin, your words are poetry.