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Complete List of Winners from MTV's Movie Awards for Dim Teenagers

By Dustin Rowles | Trade News | June 4, 2012 | Comments ()


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The "MTV Movie Awards" were held last night, which -- like most people with a modicum of taste -- I didn't realize until this morning because last night saw the penultimate episode of "Mad Men" and the season finale of "Game of Thrones." Who the hell would choose the MTV Movie Awards over those options?

Oh, 14-year-old girls, of course. That would also explain why a Johnny Depp -- who is only 48 -- received what was tantamount to the Lifetime Achievement Award from a bunch of school girls who have probably not even seen his best work (What's Eating Gilbert Grape, for the record).

Anyway, the winners are about what you'd imagine: Twilight, Harry Potter and Hunger Games. Also, that LMFAO won an award should give you the twitches you need to wake up in the morning. Oh, and Lautner: Dude. Until you can grow a decent goddamn moustache, don't even try.


-- Movie of the Year: "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1."

-- Best Male Performance: Josh Hutcherson, "The Hunger Games."

-- Best Female Performance: Jennifer Lawrence, "The Hunger Games."

-- Breakthrough Performance: Shailene Woodley, "The Descendants."

-- Best Comedic Performance: Melissa McCarthy, "Bridesmaids."

-- Best Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint and Tom Felton, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2."

-- Best Hero: Harry Potter, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2."

-- Best Music: LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem," ''21 Jump Street."

-- Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1."

-- Best Fight: Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson vs. Alexander Ludwig, "The Hunger Games."

-- Best On-Screen Dirtbag: Jennifer Aniston, "Horrible Bosses."

-- Best On-Screen Transformation: Elizabeth Banks, "The Hunger Games."

-- Best Gut-Wrenching Performance: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper, "Bridesmaids."

-- MTV Trailblazer Award: Emma Stone.

-- MTV Generation Award: Johnny Depp.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • Caitlin

    At least SOMEONE recognized the last Harry Potter. Unlike you, Oscars!

  • Bert

    I want to see the award for best off-screen dirtbag.

  • googergieger

    Am I the only one that watches basketball around here? MTV you say? I still don't get the point.

  • Jezzer

    Yes.  You should go watch basketball right now.

  • Seanx40

     I still watch basketball. A lot of it. I just don't watch the pros. My basketball watching stops the first Monday in April

  • googergieger

     Except for the last two games, who doesn't like watching The Spurs? Though I do feel they were boned in game four with some really tough calls.

  • There'll Be Pancakes

    I know it seems awful, but there is a glimmer of hope. A few weeks ago on the bus, a group of what I guessed to be 15-year-olds were discussing Twilight and why it was disgusting based on writing, similes, metaphors, character development and underlying messages. I tell you, it brought a tear to my eye. Every time I hear Twilight getting the sparkle sucked out of its ass and given praise, I think of those girls and believe there's hope for the IQ of the next generation.

    Obviously, not even 14-year-olds could deny the brilliance of Melissa McCarthy 

  • Jezzer

    Dustin, you failed to mention that THIS happened at the MTV Movie Awards, and now I have to be terribly disappointed in you:  
    http://www.thesuperficial.com/...

  • alwaysanswerb

     And here I thought I could rely on Pajiba for all things Magic Mike...

  • laylaness

    Best moment.

  • BierceAmbrose

    Cringeworthy moments: 1) Charming Potato suggesting that strippers can't
    read 2) Chris Hemsworth asking why he was not cast as Snow White 3)
    Fasschlong almost fondling the awards girl 4) KStew being KStew

    So, highlight reel?

  • Archie Leach

    All the 14 year-old teen girls - with their 14 year-old intellectual and emotional development - going beserk for the crap twilight trash will turn into 20something young women and they'll look back and realize how immature they were for getting their crotches all soaked over something as pathetically awful as the crap twilight "movies".

    And the 20somethings and 30somethings and 40somethings+ women presently getting their crotches all soaked over the pathetically awful crap twilight "movies"?

    Unfortunately they'll be forever stuck with the intellectual and emotional development of a 14 year-old.

  • hapl0

    Russell Brand can forget about his stand up career after that hosting "performance". 

    Three good things that came out of last night: 1) That We Are Young song 2) Elizabeth Banks' shameless award acceptance 3) Nolan.

    Cringeworthy moments: 1) Charming Potato suggesting that strippers can't read 2) Chris Hemsworth asking why he was not cast as Snow White 3) Fasschlong almost fondling the awards girl 4) KStew being KStew

    And why was JGL in his Inception costume again?

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Wow. People still watch MTV? Surely they are stuck in an iron lung and can't change the channel.

    I totally missed Death Valley, which I would totally watch... But I had no idea it even existed.  Maybe f/x or amc will pick it up. A friend just told me about it this weekend.

    Because I NEVER watch MTV. 

  • Jezzer

    That picture is Kristen Stewart screeching in pain because she attempted a smile.

    Does the fact that Twishite didn't sweep the awards mean something?  Please?

  • branded_redux

     How did the 14-year old girls even get into the theater to see these R-rated movies?  And The Descendants?  You can't get me to believe they sat and watched that?

    These are mostly movies released last year that are available outside of theaters at this point. Shailene Woodley's recognition could come from her sitcom work.

    Also, even though online voting still determines winners, how do movies like Drive, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Warrior, and 50/50 even get nominated in the first place?

    "Also new this year: Nominees were selected by a panel of actors,
    producers, agents and industry tastemakers instead of via online vote
    from the public."
    http://insidemovies.ew.com/201...

  • JoannaRobinson

    On the plus side, look at that EXPRESSION on K Stew's face. I didn't know it could move that way.

  • InternetMagpie

     I love how much she loves Taylor Lautner. It makes me happy.

  • SaBrina

    That would also explain why a Johnny Depp — who is only 48 — received what was tantamount to the Lifetime Achievement Award from a bunch of school girls who have probably not even seen his best work (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, for the record).

    And the poor, lonely, other Johnny Depps get nothing soup for dinner again.

  • coveredinbees

    — Best Gut-Wrenching Performance: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper, “Bridesmaids.”

    Is that a food poisoning pun? Please say yes.

  • Fabius_Maximus

     I'd say so. 14-year-old girls don't know no other gut-wrenching. Knickers-twisting, on the other hand...

  • Fredo

    — Breakthrough Performance: Shailene Woodley, “The Descendants.”

    — Best Comedic Performance: Melissa McCarthy, “Bridesmaids.”
    — Best On-Screen Dirtbag: Jennifer Aniston, “Horrible Bosses.”

    — Best Gut-Wrenching Performance: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose
    Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Wendi McLendon-Covey and Ellie Kemper,
    “Bridesmaids.”

    How did the 14-year old girls even get into the theater to see these R-rated movies?  And The Descendants?  You can't get me to believe they sat and watched that? (nothing against the movie, but it's not cutesy for them)

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