Pajiba

Damn kids!

Hey hey! I'm 24, and I was listening to The Mars Volta, reading Nietzsche, and digging on Fight Club when I was 16. I think 1990 was when it went awry.

And I've voted for good not evil in every election since 2003. Even for things like water referendums and city chairman.

Horrible.

the end is nigh

I weep for the future. The vapid doom of our future. We are in trouble, folks.
God I hate teenagers.

For the record, I'm 18 (As various U.S.C. 2257 forms will attest to). I bare responsibility for none of this, and will do my part to snuff out the lives of any sleeping teenagers on my bus...Unless they happen to be listening to some good music or something like that, in which case I will spare their lives like the benign angel of death I am.

Everyone kill Optimus!!! SCAAAAAAAPEGOAT!!

"Friday the 13th" was best, sorry, "CHOICE" horror/thriller? Shouldn't a winner in this category have to be horrifying, thrilling, or anything other than dull, lifeless, and boring?

@TK, lemme tell ya a story.

This one time, a dude somewhat out of the target demographic decided to go to a Avenged Sevenfold concert, because while they're tacky as hell, the bastards know how to write a melody then play it REALLY fast, which the dude still loves.
The dude realized a few things:

number one, the emo look has effortlessly consumed the goth look, because even kids who probably are goth still look like Bullet For My Valentine apologists.

Number two, kids either lounge against the rail in the pit, or actively try to injure each other. There is no happy middle rocking out ground.

Third, I'm fairly certain that forming complete sentences is becoming a lost art. Who needs clauses and conjunctions when you can just text?

What I'm trying to say here is I think they will prevail, Hydra-style, no matter how good we are with the stabbin' sticks. Resistance is futile.

You know what? When I was twelve, I loved Limp Bizkit; but eventually, my wonderful older sister and her friends pulled me aside and taught me the error of my ways. They gave me mixes with The Smiths and Velvet Underground and Rilo Kiley. And eventually, I dug my way out of the horrible hell-hole that was late 90s tweendom.

So give the young'uns a chance to grow out of it, yeah? Instead of killing the first teenager you see, take them aside and say, 'listen: you're a bright kid with the whole wide world ahead of you; let's knock this twilight shit off, ok? You're better than this. I can help you.'

The kids just need encouragement, god dammit! They need someone to show that they care!

Ian, just because a thing won't make a difference, don't mean it ain't worth doin'.

Especially if it involves stabbin' things with the ol' stabbin' stick.

You feel me?

Interesting thought about killing teenagers because thats EXACTLY what one tried to do to me last week in her parentally-funded car that apparently came with an exemption for stop signs.
Listen parents, if you are going to let your infants drive, at least give them some sort of responsibility (pay their own insurance, maybe or at least pay for petrol once in a while), because you know what you have when they have no skin in the game? Dangerous irresponsible lunatics who don't give a shit when they total someone else's car. They get on their cell phones and are all "OMG, I just had my first accident" giggling with their friends. So I shall just walk away from this thread because I have actually never been closer to taking Pajibadvice literally.

I'm sorry. I like Anne Hathaway, but seriously? Nominated for Bride Wars? People saw that?

And the weirdest category of the night award definitely has to go to 'CHOICE MOVIE HISSY FIT'. Why did they have to specify movie? Did a lot of tv stuff get nominated? Why was there movie but no tv hissy fit? I have questions!

Maybe Obama will legalize Retroactive Abortions so that we can deal with the shit-for-brains teenager problem plaguing our country.

You called, Sir TK? I am here, sir. Stabbing stick is ready, sir, to fuck up some serious teenager, emo, hipster douchebag ass....

And just like that the forces of idiocy and complete and overwhelming vapidity have won. A "tween" who's marketed at 10 year olds slithers around a stripper pole, and a cable personality whose only claim to fame is having been urinated on by an urban thug gets to be paraded for those same ten year olds as if she were some fucking hero.

Standards have been reversed, there's nothing wrong with THEM, noooo, there's something wrong with US.

I'm sure a lot of us back in the eighties identified with one of The Breakfast Club kids. These days? I identify with the principal.

You'll all probably hate me for this, due to the length and some unintentionally misogynist undertones, but I have some "Choice" commentary. (See what I did there?!)

- Kids think reproductive tragedy, parental infidelity, and death are funny! (Up wasn't a complete comedy, neither was Marley and Me from what I saw of the trailers/storyline.) By the way, fuck whoever came up with the term "bromantic comedy". In the eye, with Optimus Prime's steel rod that they just finished slobbering over.

- They wouldn't know good acting if Marlon Brando sat on them whilst they watched Casablanca or Tootsie. Also, we're entering an era of parental irresponsibility because when your kid watches Gossip Girl, Chelsea Lately, or Heroes they better be either retarded so they can't understand what the fuck is going on, or they better be above the age of 14. (Especially Heroes. C'mon parents...garbage in, garbage out.)

- As for Devi Lovato winning Breakout Star (Female), I'd agree! She's definitely made the cut! She's a cut above the rest! You can see talent really runs deep in her veins! She's a sharp one, quick with the razor wit, and she leaves 'em in stitches. I gotta hand it to her, she's really a cut up. Wrist assured, she's going places!

Basically, this just reenforces the stereotype that kids today know nothing about romance, comedy, action, adventure, reality, or just life in general. If you can't film, package, whore, or sparkle it up, it's of no use to them! Oh, and dollars to donuts this whole goddamn thing is mostly little tweenie girls' opinions. Teen boys have other important shit to do, like watch porn or taunt the cat. (HAha...Parenting!) Maybe instead of "Teen Choice Awards" they should call it the "The Celbration of Screaming, Spoiled, Whining Little Twats who Have Unrealistic Expectations on Life, Love, and Childbirth!" Wait...nevermind, I forgot that's what MTV's rebranding their programming block of "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and "Sixteen and Pregnant" .

Doc Brown was right, "Something's gotta be done about your kids!"

Up is a comedy? I'm 24 and all my friends bawled through the first 10 minutes.

@TK: kind of like snake whacking day, absent Barry White?

NEWS FLASH!!!!
Kids are STUPID.

And get off my lawn!

@ Ian:
It just isn't Snake Whacking Day without ol' Barry. (sniff)

CommaDaddy, I don't think anyone's commenting on the actual show. It hasn't aired yet (it was filmed last night and will air tonight) and I'm willing to bet that few in this crowd will watch it when it does. The comments are about the list of those that "won" and I use that word loosely...

@ Doctor Controvery:

If Marlon Brando sat on them, they'd be dead.

Which is probably just as well.

... well Up was pretty good.

CommaDaddy, I don't think anyone's commenting on the actual show. It hasn't aired yet (it was filmed last night and will air tonight) and I'm willing to bet that few in this crowd will watch it when it does. The comments are about the list of those that "won" and I use that word loosely...

Posted by: Lainey at August 10, 2009 3:26 PM
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So not one single Pajiblet is going to watch this utterly-without-redeeming-social-value shitefest?

Whew, am I relieved!

I'm 16 and I don't see what's all the hype about Twilight. The movie was okay, but it's overrated. And the MTV Awards was this bad too. That was the worst Mtv Awards ever.

dang it i wanted taken to win not the dumb wolverine

Perhaps not. I'm 25, and I'll take your money if you say that I need it. I live in Toronto, so steel your loins.

I don't know who many of the listed people are, but I wouldn't worry too much. If they weren't around, how would we feel superior? Someone is thinking of the children, and in very negative contexts. We need them!

Weepeth not. I'll say what I said about the bi-centenary symposium: Anyone who can actually sing a Haydn tune gets a free baby. We all love symposia, right? Tastes change.

We don't need to feel as if we're Misfits of Pangaea. People change. When I was a teenager, I was a C-cup. People grow.

I know it's easy (and fun!) to pick on the children, with their soft heads and immense purchasing power. But there's no need to act shocked that teen/tweenagers, when gathered en masse, act like lobotomized Xanax patients; the same goes for any large group of people. Taken individually, this age group shows as much promise as any other generation did at that age.

When I was 12, my favorite band was Simon and Garfunkel. Then I decided that I didn't much care for ostracization, so I started listening to N*Sync. Once I hit high school and it became cool to be an individual, I ditched the boy band crap. That's just how it goes, y'all.

Okay, okay. Listen. They picked "Up" and "The Proposal" so there's some good things there, right? Also, when I was 12 years old (I'm in my 30s now).. I LOVED Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. New Kids on the Block, anyone? And I think I turned out okay..

Excuse me, I am going back to rocking back and forth under my desk in the fetal position... "puppies and kitties and rainbows... think happy thoughts"

Don't worry about the entire generation of teenagers! I'm 17 and was just as sickened and horrified as you all!
Celebrity baby? ...really?
There have been many media lows, but to judge the "cutest celebrity baby" signifies a whole new category.
And what was WITH the 16 year old poledancer? (AKA Miley Cyrus)