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2009 MTV Movie Award Winners

Weep for our Future / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | June 1, 2009 | Comments (24)


Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene
Twilight

Best Amateur Series
Twilight

Best Anal Themed Release
Twilight

Best Big Bust Release
Twilight

Best Big Butt Release
Twilight

Best WTF Moment
Amy Poehler - Baby Mama, Peeing In the Sink

Best Couples Sex Scene
Twilight

Best Double Penetration Sex Scene
Twilight

Best Villain
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Best Foot/Leg Fetish Release
Twilight

Best Gonzo Release
Twilight

Best Group Sex Scene
Twilight

Best High-End All Sex Release
Twilight

Best Interracial Series
Twilight

Best MILF Release
Twilight

Best Oral-Themed Release
Twilight

Best Orgy/Gang Bang Release
Twilight


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Comments

I actually was believing this until I hit the word "anal."

Posted by: BWeaves at June 1, 2009 10:09 AM

I demand a recount!

How could Twilight lose 2 catagories?

It's highway robery I tells ya!

Posted by: UncleJR at June 1, 2009 10:11 AM

I'm weeping.

Posted by: Dave at June 1, 2009 10:11 AM

Wait...MTV creatd an award show aimed at tweeners and retarded sorority/fraternity pledges, got the guy from the dick in the box shorts to host, and gave a bunch of fake awards to the only movie where the cast actually bothered to show up, and we're upset about this? Since when did the MTV awards become relevent?

Posted by: Marra at June 1, 2009 10:15 AM

I don't see anything here that strains credulity. What's the joke?

Posted by: Che Grovera at June 1, 2009 10:19 AM

Sadly, this is exactly how The Grabbys turned out.

Posted by: Jeremy Feist at June 1, 2009 10:20 AM

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Were the awards based on scenes in the movie, or what the movie actually did to the viewer?

Posted by: admin at June 1, 2009 10:26 AM

Best Anal Themed Release
Twilight

Clearly there is a Hollywood Anti-Christianity bias at work here.
Otherwise, Fireproof would have been a lock for this award.

Posted by: branded at June 1, 2009 10:28 AM

What's a villian?

Posted by: AM at June 1, 2009 10:43 AM

Haha very nice, branded. But wait, isn't Twilight supposed to be all Christian-y too? I got coerced into reading the series (*sigh, barf*) and that shit is very conservative. And someone told me the author wrote (and I use the word "wrote" lightly, as homegirl is pretty fucking terrible) it with a serious bias toward her own Christian values. But anyway. I still find Robert Pattinson sexy and am a horrible person for that.

Posted by: b at June 1, 2009 10:49 AM

Marra for the win! I second, and am sad to have even typed those letters. Not worth our time fellas.

Posted by: jpguy13 at June 1, 2009 11:06 AM

Oh b, it's not just a little Christian-y, it's right-wing Mormon. I recommend this series of LJ entries, where an ex-Mormon recaps the books and unpacks some of the Mormony subtext. http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

Posted by: Caro at June 1, 2009 11:07 AM

So... are you saying Kristen Stewart has a big butt?
I might have to see that movie, then...

Posted by: Rykker at June 1, 2009 11:16 AM

I heard that there is an inter esting place for all h O t g irls and guys,
seems it is named: ___T allmingle Co M___ ,if u want to find some fun or lov ers, please have a try !!!

Posted by: Shirleycc at June 1, 2009 11:22 AM

AM: Similar to a Nubian, but also smokes.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 1, 2009 12:01 PM

I haven't seen Twilight, but I HAVE seen Kristen Stewart, and I'm sorry, but "Best Big Bust" and "Best Big Butt" release awards? I don't THINK so.

Posted by: Todd at June 1, 2009 12:06 PM

Boo! How quickly I went from happy to sad - I saw Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene and was suddenly like "WTF?! That was in that movie?! hmm... maybe I'll have to see Twilight"... but then I got to the third one.

And the moral of the story: there's still no reason to see Twilight.

(That's how you write a happy ending!)

Posted by: Gnaius at June 1, 2009 12:17 PM

Lies! All lies! What a cock tease of a movie. I like my vampires heavily slathered in sex, not sparkles. Although I think you're going in the right direction. A little DVDA just might be enough to redeem this vampy, wolfy catastrophe of a series.

Posted by: Leigh at June 1, 2009 12:17 PM

really BWeaves? They had me til "gang bang." I kept thinking that i should take the time to see twilight.

Posted by: Todd at June 1, 2009 12:18 PM

Why the hell does it always seem that MTV Awards are really behind in the..."Popcorn Trophy(?)" giveaways?

The Dark Knight seems so long ago as to when it was released. It could be my horrible memory, making things seem to have happened much longer ago than it really did, but...

and Twilight winning five awards? And best Breakthrough Performance (male and female) goes to Ashley Tisdale and Zac Efron from High School Musical? When the hell did Disney and MTV have a merger? Or am I late on this information? Did I miss a meeting?

...Nevertheless, you probably should've put up the video of Bruno landing with his ass right in the face of Eminem. Highlight of the entire sorry evening.

Posted by: Riley at June 1, 2009 12:21 PM

This made my day!

Posted by: barf at June 1, 2009 1:32 PM

I just read the posts and I just realised how Christian-y Hollywood is becoming. What with Mormon Twilight and those fucking Jonas Brothers wearing their stupid purity rings... No wonder the tweeners are so fucked up.

I think MTV hold their awards so much later than all the other awards because their awards jar so much with the rest and if held with the rest would immediately be laughed off by everyone. In this way people will forget a bit what came before. The Rasberyy awards deserve much more attention than this MTV crap.

Posted by: barf at June 1, 2009 1:40 PM

Hee.

Though in my opinion the biggest villain was Twilight. The things that monstrosity has done to the world? Unforgivable acts of villainy in the form of squealing hordes of teenage girls and 40 year old women with crushes on Edward Motherfucking Sparklepire Cullen (his full name).

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2009 2:00 PM

I can't wait for Twilight two... Apparently silver bullets turn werewolves into rainbows and pink candy floss.

Posted by: Bane at June 2, 2009 10:31 AM