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January 30, 2009 | Comments ()


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Are You Smarter than an 11th Grader?

Do You Remember What Happened in 1066? / Dustin Rowles

Trade News | January 30, 2009 | Comments ()


Anybody that studied more than three days of European history in high school probably knows at least one date. 1066. Battle of Hastings. The date and the war were hammered into my brain for an entire week of AP European history, and while I remember the date, until this movie surfaced, I couldn’t for the life of me remember who the Battle of Hastings was between, or what it was all about (although, it does trigger another date: 1215. Magna Carta. King John. That’s all I remember. I’m sure it has some great historic significance).

Anyway, the Battle of Hastings — as Wikipedia reminds me — was between the Norman’s William the Conqueror and the Anglo-Saxon’s Harold Godwinson. The Normans, of course, wiped the floor with the Anglo-Saxons, and took over Great Britain, and that, folks, is why the Anglo-Saxon swear word, bollocks, is the eighth most severe profanity in England (between prick and arsehole), and why you can’t say it on broadcast television over there before 9 p.m. True story.

So, where were we? Ah yes: Someone has decided to make a movie about the Battle of Hastings called, conveniently, 1066. William Nicholson, who co-wrote Gladiator, which is one of the dullest, dumbest Best Picture winners in Oscar history, will pen the screenplay. The movie will focus on the friendship between William and Harold, and their eventual rivalry, which led to Harold getting an arrow in the eye (also: True story).

I hate epics. Undoubtedly, they’ll trot out all the actors you’d expect to be in epics: Orlando Bloom, Eric Bana, Gerard Butler, and they’ll probably throw in a love interest of some sort, although there was none to speak of in the actual history. But Diane Kruger needs work, you know. No director and no cast has been set yet.



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