By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trade News | Comments (31)
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Posted by: The Wanderer at June 17, 2010 8:20 PM
You know the best part about Benedict Cumberbatch? That name. Benedict Cumberbatch.
Posted by: A. Sefa at June 17, 2010 8:20 PM
by that, I mean: I’ll probably suck llama balls
Dustin: will you let us know how llama balls feel in your mouth?
Posted by: Uriah Creep at June 17, 2010 8:29 PM
"This Means War" if done right sounds like a cheesy-awesome idea, however given that it stars Sam Worthington and is being made by "too douchey for two names" McG I hold out zero hope.
Posted by: matt at June 17, 2010 8:29 PM
This Cloud Atlas adaptation has me shitting my pants. And Tykwer by the looks of it has only ever done one good movie in Run Lola Run.
Why would I trust him with this masterpiece in his hands?
Posted by: supafly at June 17, 2010 8:56 PM
Hmm. A Breakfast Club Porn Parody.
You mess with the bull, you get the... nevermind.
Posted by: branded at June 17, 2010 9:00 PM
I'm pretty sure the original cast would be perfectly willing to make Breakfast Club porn. They can all use the money.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 17, 2010 9:13 PM
worthington and pine as "veteran" spies.
riiiight.
there's a really strange trend in movies and on tv to cast really young folk in roles that require more age. CEO's of major corporations who look like they just finished high-school, retired spies who are college aged, FBI agents that head major investigations in their early twenties.
i realize that the biggest demographic target is young so the players reflect that, but seriously, how does anyone buy these stories?
Posted by: idleprimate at June 17, 2010 10:34 PM
Supafly, Cloud Atlas is an amazing book, and normally I cringe as soon as I hear someone is gearing up to adapt something of this caliber. But think about it: it could make a brilliant, brilliant movie. And if you're going to film something that messes around with the narrative so much, Run Lola Run is not a bad item to have on your CV.
Colour me cautiously optimistic. Which is like beige, but with more purple.
Posted by: boogie at June 17, 2010 10:41 PM
Breakfast Club porn is someone's dream come true.
Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at June 17, 2010 11:38 PM
boogie, I'm with you. I love Run Lola Run, I love love love Cloud Atlas, and I think it has the potential to make a fantabulous movie.
That said, if they fuck this one up, there will be consequences. Cloud Atlas is certainly in my top 10 for books, maybe in my top 5 (on a good day). I know that, in the past, I've threatened consequences for things like Harry Potter (ha!), The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and the newer Pride and Prejudice (worst. movie. ever.). But that's small potatoes compared to this, the Christina Hendricks of spuds.
Listen up, Tom Tykwer. I may have learned about you in school, you may be one of the foremost German filmmaker of the 90s, you may have taken the ideas and creativity that blossomed in the German film scene and brought them into the modern era. But you are ON NOTICE. If you mess with ANYTHING there will be retribution.
Posted by: esme at June 17, 2010 11:59 PM
So...we are just going to pretend we didn't see Ryan Reynolds with a pseudo-Indian accent in basically Footloose with yoga instead of dance?
You know what? That is a good Idea. Let's just pretend it never happened.
Posted by: Vermillion at June 18, 2010 12:11 AM
Is that Dean Cain?
Posted by: Snrub at June 18, 2010 1:07 AM
Okay, the redhead in the Breakfast Club parody totally looks like Brittany from Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model.
Posted by: Az at June 18, 2010 1:31 AM
Banner pic. Josh Hartnett?
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Posted by: LOLOLO at June 18, 2010 2:44 AM
Can You Name This Person?
Why yes I can. I will call him George. And hug him, and squeeze him, and never let him go.
And he looks kind of like that Shrek guy.
Posted by: EricD at June 18, 2010 4:48 AM
Is it the Home Improvement brat?
And since I'm hungover @ work let me add that the show aired in Austria for like a bajillion years under the title "Listen, who is hammering here".
There is not enough schnapps in the world.
Or llama balls for that matter.
Posted by: cinekat at June 18, 2010 7:54 AM
I am extended my fondest regards to the mother of Benedict Cumberbatch for not pussying out and giving him a boring name. Saddling him with John, Steven, or James would've relegated him to being an accountant or something. Now he's an actor who hears, "Holy hell, Cumberbatch my boy! That is a cracking good name you have there! Is it Dutch?! Jolly good show!"
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2010 8:10 AM
Also, the banner pic kinda looks like River Phoenix, which would go along with the 1992 theme you're fostering around here, Rowles.
But it is definitely Dean Cain. It's the strange eyes that are not quite Western European, not quite the darkest regions of Ancient Asia.
Posted by: Kballs at June 18, 2010 8:13 AM
See, you place the cursor over an image and...
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2010 9:15 AM
Pixar clearly hates me. First, they make that awful Finding Nemo film, the Disney joint with the most death and destruction in the history of the company. Then, they win the Oscar for animated film over The Triplets of Belleville, a film that should have been a Best Picture nominee. Then, Disney World destroys another educational EPCOT attraction by retrofitting clamshell carts and crappy holograms over the last remnants of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea in any of the Florida parks. Then, they develop a stage show that, knowing how inexplicably popular this nightmarish film is, will probably be the first new Disney musical to get out of their long development hell period. This is, of course, a greater insult because they have two excellent stage shows--Aladdin at Disneyland and Hunchback from back in the day at MGM--that only need a longer script to jump to the Great White Way.
Now they're going to go all Happy Feet last ten minutes on us with some kind of horrifying green-tinged adventure starring the most almost-killed cast in the history of Disney with a Finding Nemo sequel.
Don't get me started on the grand conspiracy to piss me off with their horrifying clouds short in front of Up or the all fat people are lazy idiotic invalids angle in WALL-E.
Posted by: Robert at June 18, 2010 10:03 AM
OK, so that banner pic of Ryan Reynolds is from a movie released in 1993, which is when he would have been...17? Did they sit on that film for a few years after production? I can't believe he's any older than 12 in that picture. Unless he was one hell of a late bloomer. Just nine years later he'd be playing Van Wilder? My mind is blown. Not that it takes much.
Posted by: MB at June 18, 2010 10:17 AM
Since apparently no one else saw "Hot In Cleveland", I'll weigh in.
We watched for the cast. I'm a huge "Frasier" fan, so anything with Jane Leeves and Wendy Malick in it is Must See for at least one episode. Also, Valerie Bertinelli is still hot.
Betty White wasn't given much to do, other than call the other three whores all night. That seems to be her function as the "caretaker" of the house Bertinelli bought.
In short, another generic, mildly amusing sitcom that shouldn't offend anyone. Meh.
-Ralphie
Posted by: Ralphie at June 18, 2010 10:18 AM
Yeah I gave Hot In Cleveland a shot because of the cast as well, Ralphie and I'll agree with your assessment. A solid "Meh." It may get funnier now that the characters are actually IN Cleveland and we got through the set up in the pilot but I am not expecting anything great from this show. Oh, the one surprise was maybe how freakin' smoking hot Daphne from Frasier is now. Hachiemama.
Posted by: JenVegas at June 18, 2010 11:07 AM
Just what in the HELL are you retroactively implying about Jane Leeves????
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2010 11:10 AM
I'm confused. You called Danny McBride "funny." Having seen him in a few things already, and having (unfortunately) seen 'Hot Rod' just last night, I have to wonder exactly what the hell he has EVER been funny in. Please don't tell me 'Pineapple Express!' I'd rather watch a handful of blind kids play cricket than another movie with Danny McBride in it.
Posted by: EJ at June 18, 2010 1:40 PM
Please don't tell me 'Pineapple Express!'
Are you saying you've already seen it or just refuse to be given that answer?
Posted by: Jay at June 18, 2010 1:53 PM
@EJ:
Weird, seems like I saw Hot Rod at the same time--oh, what excrement that was. I'm not terribly well right now, so I was kind of glancing at the computer screen. I'm glad that I'm not an actor, because I seem to have this compulsion to grate on and on about bad accents. It wasn't Julianne Moore levels of agony, but I guess largely due to the fact that she had such a thankless role with nothing else to analyze, whenever she spoke, all I could think was, 'are we supposed to be pretending that she's anything but Australian
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 19, 2010 12:34 AM
Please don't tell me 'Pineapple Express!'
Are you saying you've already seen it or just refuse to be given that answer?
Um, Both? I dunno. I saw Express, and hated it worse than I ever hated anything before. I believe that was my introduction to Mr. Mcbride's comic stylings, so I was a little shocked to see him in, like, other things. I've heard he starred in his own film? But that can't be right!
Posted by: EJ at June 19, 2010 4:17 AM
Okay, the redhead in the Breakfast Club parody totally looks like Brittany from Cycle 8 of America's Next Top Model.
Posted by: Az at June 18, 2010 1:31 AM
YES. Thank you - I thought I was going crazy. Porn parody girl is prettier though (and with a much better weave - then again I think a weave made of hair pulled out of a bathroom plug would be better than Brittany's was.)
Posted by: the artist formally known as squeeziee at June 19, 2010 11:54 AM
Hmm. A Breakfast Club Porn Parody.
I'm there, dude.