By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (63)
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Posted by: Slash at May 21, 2010 4:53 PM
Believe it or not, I found it on Deadspin. So they're the creepy pedos, not me.
I'm just creepy. Or so I'm told.
Posted by: TK at May 21, 2010 4:54 PM
I like how the bodyguard guy grins at the camera when that chump bangs his head.
Posted by: Steph at May 21, 2010 4:58 PM
You can tell it took all of his might to push that revolving door. Bieber must have been using his big boy muscles!
It's pretty funny how he stumbles out of the doorway. How can he see with all that hair?
Posted by: Brie at May 21, 2010 5:10 PM
Good thing Bieber has all that hair, it cushioned him from a brain injury... not that we'd be able to tell if he had one.
Posted by: mswas at May 21, 2010 5:21 PM
Oy. I saw Katherine Heigl on David Letterman last night and I didn't *totally* want to punch her in the face. When she was talking about her baby, it seemed almost sweet for a minute. Of course, she also intimated that she's a massive bitch to her husband. But hey, he married her...
I also don't totally hate Megan Fox. Or, as Michael K on DListed calls her, Professor WhoreFace. I'm actually amused by her attempts to sound smart or deep or edgy or sexy... that tend to fail miserably. And really, her pronouncements only seem to end up hurting her, not anybody else.
And now I will don the full-body self-defense class padded suit, and you can all take turns hitting me with sticks and roundhouse kicking me.
Posted by: MM at May 21, 2010 5:32 PM
Megan Fox article is exactly correct. My reader's digest version is this: women hate her because they are jealous of her, and men pretend to hate her to curry favour with the women who hate her. The end.
Posted by: jon29 at May 21, 2010 6:07 PM
Wait-- most women dislike Megan Fox because she'd be able to lure their boyfriend/husband away from them??
This so puts her on the level of the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Posted by: Mar at May 21, 2010 6:13 PM
I don't hate Megan Fox and never have. I don't think she is a good actress and she is a bit of an air head but she does not rise to nearly the level of annoying as someone like Gwyneth Paltrow.
Posted by: EricD at May 21, 2010 6:18 PM
women hate her because they are jealous of her.
No, dear, that would be the PlayStation; Meg Fox is not THAT much of a threat.
Posted by: SB at May 21, 2010 6:38 PM
I had a dream the other night that I turned blue after using fake tan for Smurfs.
That dream was probably better than the Smurfs film will be - NPH or no.
Posted by: squeeziee at May 21, 2010 6:38 PM
I don't bother hating Katherine or Megan any more than any other talentless twat that bites the hand that feeds. Chances are she got fired for her shit eating attitude, not her lack of skill. Who really cares?
Posted by: Xtreme at May 21, 2010 7:29 PM
I am going to chime in and add to my general lack of hatred for Megan Fox. She fascinates me cause she has the personality of a dumb blond in the body of a bitchy brunet. Plus, Jennifer's Body was funny. I always watch a movie while writing a paper and Jennifer's Body was my movie of choice for my hardest paper this semester. I must have watched it 5 times back to back, cause it created the right amount of gaiety to have in the background.
Posted by: Morgan LaFai at May 21, 2010 7:32 PM
Here's the thing, how about deciding you don't want to be used as a sex object in the beginning of your career? This is the same woman that abmitted to auditioning for the First Transformers
movie by washing Michael Bay's car (among other things I'm sure). Acting is one of the few professions where you can make tons of money claiming you can do something you can't do.
Posted by: Michele at May 21, 2010 7:40 PM
I would never side with Michael Bay over Megan Fox, but I do wonder one thing about this.
I don't know the specific details of Megan's option agreement for the Transformers franchise, but isn't it more typical that the studio has it written into these big-budget contracts that the actors agree ahead of the time to return for sequels, and the studio then has the right to exercise that option? If that's the case, Megan wouldn't even legally be able to make the decision, although certainly she could have told them she didn't want to do it, and the studio let her out as a courtesy.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2010 7:50 PM
Yes. All women judge other women on how much men want to fuck them. That's all we think about; how men perceive us and that totally informs our perceptions of each other. Bang on.
I've long defended Fox and Heigl because they seem like perfectly fine people who just happen to run off at the mouth at bit at inopportune times. At least when they run off at the mouth it's clear that they're thinking actual, critical thoughts about their industry and what they do. I don't believe they should be grateful just that anyone pays attention to them, and I appreciate that they don't think so either.
Posted by: Intern Rusty at May 21, 2010 7:50 PM
I feel my reasons for hating Megan Fox are wholly legitimate:
-I have either hated or mostly disliked everything she has ever done (including Jennifers Body)
-I think she looks about as attractive as Paris Hilton, who I find about as attractive as Richard Belzer
-Every interview I have ever read or seen with her did nothing to shake my negative opinions of her
In short, I rank her above Heidi and Spencer, but below Drew Barrymore, whom I hate with an admittedly irrational fervor.
Posted by: ChristianH at May 21, 2010 8:05 PM
Yeah I'm jealous of the sexyface that makes her look like a drooling idiot. PLEASE LOVE ME, MEN! IT IS ALL I WANT IN LIFE!
Posted by: figgy at May 21, 2010 8:09 PM
No, no, no. Women don't hate her because she's threatening, it's because they're all on their periods, amirite? That jealously argument is so old and trite. In fact, it seems like that's the one that's always trotted out when the ability to make a real point doesn't easily reveal itself. It's a good way to cut any real problems off at the knees too, because the retort can always be, 'this isn't valid, you're only saying these awful things because I'm beautiful.'
And guys are all like,
'Duh, if you let me hate things, can I porn you, duh?'
Two dummies don't make a scholar. He's Satan's cabana boy and she's complicit. Arseheads in a slap fight.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 21, 2010 8:11 PM
And just to be clear: I don't hate her. I feel she's just another talentless starlet who'll be forgotten in 5 years. I nothing her.
Posted by: figgy at May 21, 2010 8:11 PM
Two dummies don't make a scholar. He's Satan's cabana boy and she's complicit.
Not that I didn't love you before, Jo 'Mama', but now I REALLY love you.
Posted by: MM at May 21, 2010 8:13 PM
I don't really have anything against Megan Fox as I have only seen her in Transformers and acting was not a requirement.
If something really fucked up happened and I ended up becoming an actor and obviously a bad one because I would be cast in a Michael Bay movie. It would be a starting point and a good paying one so why not, wouldn't you do it?
I don't fault her for speaking her mind and it doesn't look like she was wrong with what she said and I don't really get some of the hatred for her because she hasn't pulled a Heigl or a Paltrow. YET!
Posted by: peanut at May 21, 2010 8:16 PM
@Darth:
I wondered about the same thing in a different thread. It's obvious that someone wanted to spin a dismissal into a defiant stand for agency for the dignity of women. Of course, if it was a three film option, she would have been contractually obligated to complete the third one unless the dudes writing the cheques opted not to have her fulfill it. I'm no 'law-talkin' guy', so I figure it we both came this conclusion independently of each other, it's likely true.
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 21, 2010 8:19 PM
@MM: Thanks. Hands across the Pajiba-verse!
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at May 21, 2010 8:22 PM
What? No LOST news today? I guess it's probably old hat by now (two or three days old) but I made up a response to Nerve.com's "sexiest Losties" list, now with rampant bisexuality.
Posted by: Death By Hippopotamus at May 21, 2010 8:24 PM
As a proud Canadian, I sincerely apologise for the entire Justin Bieber debacle. We don't know how he made it out of his cage, much less to your fair country. As soon as we've tracked his exact location, tranq gun-equipped agents will be dispatched with instructions to return "him" to the lab posthaste.
Again, our apologies. Please do not invade us.
Posted by: Uriah Creep at May 21, 2010 8:31 PM
"The Smurfs fall through a portal and end up in Central Park, and Gargamel [Hank Azaria], who's chasing them, follows. Neil Patrick Harris is running in Central Park. The Smurfs end up sneaking into his backpack."
That explains my question about why there are more humans than just Gargamel in this thing. It doesn't sound much like The Smurfs that I knew, though. Once again, yet another franchise insists upon shoehorning in unnecessary humans to water down a story.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 21, 2010 8:52 PM
Richard Dean Anderson can still play Macgyver. If they get anyone else I refuse to see it!
Posted by: Chugga at May 21, 2010 8:54 PM
I have never seen Ms. Fox in anything - partly because I refuse to watch any Michael Bay movies. He makes my head hurt.
I am not jealous of her because my man wants to bone her. He prefers Halle Berry and Zoe Saldana. And if he ever gets the chance he has my permission because, well that's a chance of a lifetime.
I just got sick of looking at her face everywhere last year and reading about the idiotic things (that totally weren't cherry picked) she said in interviews. It was too much. I hate her about as much as I hate any overblown media personality: Robert Pattinson, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber. I am easily annoyed and it's not Megan's fault.
She should not have called Michael Bay a Nazi. But I get the distinct impression that the man is an asshole. If this is so, I do hope someone else calls him on it. If anything, my irrational hatred is pointed at Mr. Bay and his tiny penis.
Posted by: greer at May 21, 2010 9:21 PM
I don't hate Megan Fox either. I don't actively like her, though, for the following reasons:
1. She always looks mean. Maybe she's just super grumpy cuz it's difficult for her to stand up straight, but I think that if we met I'd be like "hi!" and she'd growl menacingly.
2. In Transformers, her pants totally stay clean despite everything else in the movie becoming filthy. I realize this isn't her fault, but I hold it against her and the baynis. Both of them.
Posted by: esme at May 21, 2010 9:41 PM
The hypocrisy of the National Organization of Women is that they never come to the defense of women that wear a size 4 or less, but trust me they have no problem defending a 5’2 180lb female Drivers Ed teacher.
Posted by: Pookie at May 21, 2010 10:15 PM
This is the same woman that abmitted to auditioning for the First Transformers
movie by washing Michael Bay's car (among other things I'm sure).
Wow, I didn't hate her until I read that. I don't like to toss around the word "bimbo," because it seems enormously disrespectful (like the person it's directed at might be attractive in a cheap way, but they're stupid so their thoughts and feelings don't matter). But that right there is a bimbo move.
Posted by: Todd at May 21, 2010 11:47 PM
Darth, she may not have been able to get out of the movie contractually, but I liken her actions to an athlete who wants to get traded and does everything he can to make the team get rid of him. She has pretty much ripped Bay at every opportunity. At some point, you knew someone with his ego wasn't going to keep her around.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at May 21, 2010 11:54 PM
This is the same woman that abmitted to auditioning for the First Transformers
movie by washing Michael Bay's car (among other things I'm sure).
Wow, really? The fact that her audition for a movie consisted of a powerful and well-connected director instructing her to aid his masturbatory fantasies makes her shallow and worthy of disdain? Really? I'd like to point out that at the time of her audition, Megan Fox's name recognition was essentially nada. Girl's gotta eat somehow. Frankly, the fact that she said "hey, I've made an assload of money, I don't actually have to work with this dickhead anymore" should be applauded.
If nothing else, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and dude, Michael Bay has done far more damage as far as skull-fuckingly bad moviemaking than Megan Fox ever could.
Posted by: Erin B. at May 22, 2010 12:41 AM
Would I fuck Megan Fox? Yes. That's how far I've thought of her.
Is she a bad actress? I don't know. Has she acted at all? The Transformers movies were hardly the place to see that. If anything they've regressed the acting acumen of people like John Turturro or John Voight. And Jennifer's Body seems to have asked of her only that she vamp and slut it up in a safe way.
Beyond that, I think her problem is an old one: trying to get people to change their mind regarding you. She's used her looks to get ahead and is now finding it hard to avoid the resentment and stigma that comes with having done it.
If she leaves the third movie in an intelligence-bereft franchise and goes on to work with smart directors who find talent in her to showcase and she makes good movies, she'll have won.
Don't think Jonah Hex will be that movie.
Posted by: Fredo at May 22, 2010 1:19 AM
Posted by: Fredo at May 22, 2010 1:19 AM
Damn right. In fact, I think Megan Fox is an interesting case study in who really gets the blame in a bad movie: the director, the writer, or the actor. Godtopus knows how many decent to great actors get stuck in bad films (Ben "Let's see Walken and Nighy do THIS!" Kingsley, anybody?) Hell, Tyler Perry pretty much counts on this.
I have yet to hear of a project she has done where she is the only weak link, especially from this place. Jennifer's Body got slammed for it's writing and plot (not even Pajiba darling Seyfried could save it), and well, Transformers.
It does seem like an inordinate amount of time is spent slamming the girl any time she is mentioned, even from people who say they don't care.
When she gets a role that actually challenges her (instead of further capitalizing on her sexpot status), then I can consider the criticism valid. Until then, I don't blame her one bit.
I do find it funny that Shia LeBeouf seems to be turning into the anti-Heigl, essentially blaming himself for the criticism towards Crystal Skull and Revenge of the Fallen. You go ahead and fall on that sword, buddy. I am going to go watch Holes again.
Posted by: Vermillion at May 22, 2010 1:45 AM
That ... thing on Bieber's head: It looks solid, like it's made of plastic, like he just lifts it off at night and sets it on the nightstand.
Could it be: Bad-hair boy has MPB?
Posted by: , at May 22, 2010 2:26 AM
It does seem like an inordinate amount of time is spent slamming the girl any time she is mentioned, even from people who say they don't care.
Posted by: Vermillion at May 22, 2010 1:45 AM
She makes a living as a public figure. Either she has the skin to weather it or she can go find something else to do.
As for how balanced it is, the only time we hear about her is when a new movie of hers is coming out or when she gains/loses a role. As someone else said, for a person who has the "slut" tag attached to her by many, she's in a quiet, monogamous relationship that's almost never in the tabloids.
Still, she should know by now that the public is not kind.
Posted by: Fredo at May 22, 2010 4:01 AM
So I'm going to come out and say it: I like Megan Fox. I could care less about the "Transformer" movies, and I'll probably never watch them entirely.
She was cast perfect in "Jennifer's Body", a film I enjoyed for 2 hours but didn't really linger much on it after wards.
I guess the main reason I like her is probably that most people hate her for ridiculous reasons. She's got looks that are either extremely attractive or ugly. I think, like any person, she can be very attractive or FUGGED UP (usually when she's wearing her tranny hooker makeup. jesus). She completely sold the "Jennifer" character for me, and from her imdb page, she seems to actually be branching out and doing roles that will require more talent and skill that Michael Bay would have ever been able to pull out of her.
tl;dr U GO GURL
Posted by: earthmanjack at May 22, 2010 4:22 AM
@ChristianH: And just what the hell is wrong with Richard Belzer?!
Posted by: Aislinn at May 22, 2010 5:39 AM
I find it weird that the article is trying to pin all the Megan Fox hate on women. I know mens say they want to do her, but that's who I hear all the 'slut' and 'dumb' comments about her from. I do think she's a bit of a twit after she went on a rant about how women hate her cause she's so beautiful in an interview....if you have that attitude, of course other people are going to hate you. Duh.
Posted by: sunshinee at May 22, 2010 7:14 AM
She makes a living as a public figure. Either she has the skin to weather it or she can go find something else to do.
I wasn't saying she shouldn't get any ridicule. Just that is seems way out of proportion.
Outside of her verbal diarrhea (which does deserve to be mocked), she really hasn't done anything to earn her slut/whore status. Compared to her more....erstwhile contemporaries, she is practically a nun. Because of that (and like you said, the fact that it is usually condensed to only during the time she is promoting a movie), the hatred seems to far outstrip the person earning it.
Although I think Dave Chappelle says it best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K1KHqi9bXc
So true. So, so true.
@ChristianH: And just what the hell is wrong with Richard Belzer?!
Yeah! What the hell?!!
Posted by: Vermillion at May 22, 2010 8:09 AM
@ ERIN B Wow, really? The fact that her audition for a movie consisted of a powerful and well-connected director instructing her to aid his masturbatory fantasies makes her shallow and worthy of disdain? Really? I'd like to point out that at the time of her audition, Megan Fox's name recognition was essentially nada. Girl's gotta eat somehow.
No, the fact that she felt it was her only option
to fame makes her shallow. And I am definitely not making excuses for Michael Bay and his horrible films.
Megan Fox quote: " I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this business." And this makes her worthy of disdain
Posted by: Michele at May 22, 2010 10:28 AM
The hatred of Megan Fox's self-deprecation is ridiculous to me. Every single actor in the history of the world has insecurities about their abilities as a performer. Every last one of them. Even Meryl Streep is reluctant to say "I'm amazing." Because, really, we just want you to love us. The Simpsons expressed it best in their episode "All About Lisa," "Applause is an addiction, like heroin or checking your e-mail." We all just want you to like us for everything we do. Even when you say we're great, we're convinced you're lying to us to spare our feelings. Fox appears to be no different. You can call her talented until the cows come home; all she hears is you trying hide what you really think about her.
Posted by: Robert at May 22, 2010 10:55 AM
I don't hate Megan Fox, and I think that article is pretty much right (though I'd never really thought about it like that before I admit). However they neglect to mention one thing: Ms. Fox has the most annoying voice on the face of the planet. I have no problem with her continuing to appear in movies as long as they don't give her speaking roles. She has plenty of other 'talents' they can put to good use anyway.
Posted by: Chugga at May 22, 2010 11:00 AM
Hmmm... Millions of dollars and a career on the line and all I have to do is suggestively wash a car? SIGN. ME. UP.
Anyone who claims otherwise is a LIAR.
Posted by: Leaf at May 22, 2010 1:33 PM
I've always loved Megan and I liked Jennifers body.
=D
Posted by: Nadine at May 22, 2010 4:01 PM
Yeah, I hate Megan Fox because I'm jealous of her. Shrug. Not going to apologize for it, not going to hide it.
Posted by: Ling at May 22, 2010 5:18 PM
Who is that picture of? Because that is not the Megan Fox of today. Methinks the picture you posted is before plastic surgery. She's totes CGI now.
I don't hate her, but her voice sure is annoying.
Posted by: Gistine at May 22, 2010 8:08 PM
I see a lot of Megan Fox talk on here, when we all really should be discussing how satisfying it was to see that exact moment of impact when Bieber got conked.
It represents every school kid who pushes in front of me in the bus queue. Hairy twats.
Posted by: Laurie at May 22, 2010 9:41 PM
I kee remembering Megan Fox on that sitcom with Kelly Ripa and the blonde chick from Murphy Brown. Who knew?
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I don't hate Megan Fox. I don't hate Katherine Heigl. I don't really hate any of the "starlets." None of them has ever done anything to me. There are much worthier targets of my enmity.
Like almost everybody on the E! channel. My god, what a worthless pile of fail (except Chelsea Handler and the people of The Soup). I hate the rest of them because I see them everywhere on my TV, even when I'm not watching E!. I wish I could punch each of them in the face for every time I've had to see a promo for one of their shows, despite my best efforts to avoid them. Punches to the face for every Kardashian, including Bruce Jenner and the family dog (I assume there is one).