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What If Jerry Maguire Never Had His "You Had Me at Hello" Moment?


Jerry Maguire vs. Up in the Air: A Lesson in Contrast / Dustin Rowles

Think Pieces | April 9, 2010 | Comments (39)


Publisher’s Note: The following is not a review of Up in the Air, it’s a spoiler-heavy discussion. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, please see Drew’s review.

Jason Reitman’s Up in the Air was my favorite movie of 2009. For me, it resonated louder than any movie I’ve seen in years. The quiet devastation of the film has lingered with me for months, and re-watching UitA doesn’t exorcise that feeling, it only heightens it. Movie geeks like to discuss those elusive perfect movies; perfectly acted, perfectly scripted, perfectly executed. Flawless. I’d like to posit that Up in the Air is one of those movies. Even if you didn’t like it, even if it didn’t speak to you thematically, and even if you didn’t care for the characters, I’m convinced that Reitman accomplished exactly what he set out to do, making Up in the Air one of those rare faultlessly executed films.

George Clooney plays Ryan Bingham, whose job it is to travel the country and deliver the bad news to downsized employees. He fires people for a living. He’s good at it, too, providing terminated employees a small dose of hope and a shred of dignity at the most fragile points of their lives: “Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it’s *because* they sat there that they were able to do it.”

Over the course of his career, Bingham’s made the air his home; he’s traveled 10 million miles. He spends 46 weeks of the year flying from city to city; living out of suitcases; in and out of hotels, crashing convention center parties. “All the things that most people hate about traveling — the recycled air, the artificial lighting, the digital juice dispensers, the cheap sushi — are warm reminders that I’m home.” He loves his job. He loves the independence of it. He loves the lifestyle. And he loves the identity it affords him. He even speaks about it periodically on the lecture circuit, delivering his “backpack” philosophy about the advantages of being tied down to nothing and no one.

“Make no mistake, your relationships are the heaviest components in your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets, the compromises. The slower we move the faster we die. Make no mistake, moving is living. Some animals were meant to carry each other. To live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star crossed lovers, monogamous swans. We are not swans. We are sharks.”

Enter Anna Kendrick’s Natalie Keener, a 23-year-old Cornell ingenue, who has come up with a way to revolutionize the downsizing industry: Instead of traveling around the country to fire people face to face, she’s developed a system to do it on video chat, over the Internet, an idea that threatens Bingham’s very lifestyle. But before they unveil the new system, Natalie has to travel the country with Ryan to learn about what he does. Along the way, Bingham enters a casual sexual relationship with another frequent flyer, Alex (Vera Farmiga), which develops into an increasingly romantic endeavor, culminating at his little sister’s wedding, where Ryan realizes that having someone to share his life with might not be so bad. “If you think about it,” he says, “your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life… were you alone? Life’s better with company.”

The casting is sublime: Reitman finds likable, attractive, impeccable actors, and lights the entire movie brightly, giving us the impression that it’s a lightweight dramedy, luring us in before he rips the carpet out from beneath us. But you don’t even realize that carpet is gone until you’ve left the theater, trying to figure out how Up in the Air quietly, like an invisible thief in a romantic comedy, ripped out a hole in your soul.

How did they do it? Structurally, I can’t think of a more perfect movie than Up in the Air. Reitman and Sheldon Turner, using Walter Kirn’s novel as source material, sets the narrative up with Rube Goldberg perfection, and then knocks everything down, playing upon our preexisting notions of how a romantic comedy should work and then doing the opposite. There aren’t a lot of movies that explore our careers, how our identity is wrapped up in them, and how we use them to fill the vacant spaces in our lives. Cameron Crowe’s done it twice. In Singles, that was the answer to Campbell Scott’s romantic predicament: He sought solace in his work, but the lack thereof only compounded his romantic misery, which was eventually resolved when his love interest returned to him (“I was nowhere near your neighborhood.”).

Likewise, Jerry Maguire was about Maguire’s relationship with his job, and how he, too, came to the realization that that “life’s better with company.” But, Up in the Air is Jerry Maguire in the negative. Up in the Air is Jerry Maguire if he’d never had the “You had me at hello” speech; if he’d just quietly gone back to his job and continued, alone, for the rest of his meaningless existence. It wouldn’t have made for a very romantic movie, but Up in the Air proves the same point in the inverse, and in doing so, doubles the impact.

There are three moments in Up in the Air where Reitman could’ve taken the easy romantic comedy out, but in not giving us that happy ending, increases the forcefulness of his point. I absolutely marvel at those three moments. The first is the big speech in Las Vegas, following his sister’s wedding. We’ve seen enough movies to be conditioned as to what to expect: Ryan Bingham would crumple up his notes and give a big impassioned speech about how meaningless his philosophy was all along, how it was a facade, a convenient philosophy to justify his existence, and how people aren’t meant to be alone at all. “We are swans!” he would exclaim. Maybe Vera Farmiga’s Alex would even be in the audience to witness it, setting up a big romantic kiss in the aisle of the convention center.

Instead, he stops, mid-speech, and he walks out.

This is where the big Jerry Maguire moment was supposed to happen. Bingham was supposed jump a plane, fly to Chicago, run to Alex’s house, force himself inside the door, and cry, “I love you! You complete me!”

Instead, he discovers that Alex is married. With children. And that Ryan is “an escape. You’re a break from our normal lives. You’re a parenthesis.” That’s all he ever was to Alex: A parenthesis.

The third moment comes in the end. Early on in the movie, in an exchange with Natalie about the number of frequent flyer miles that Ryan has, Natalie tells him that if she had that many miles, she’d walk into an airport, look up on the big board, pick any random city, and just go. We know that moment in the movie. We identify it. It’s an obvious callback. And it’s exactly how we expect the movie will end, with Ryan jetting off to some exotic location, probably with Alex. Instead, in the penultimate scene, Ryan arrives in front of that big board, and he looks at all the cities, and we expect him simply to pick one and fly off into the sunset. But he doesn’t (arguably — there’s a small amount of ambiguity here). He gets on the plane he’s supposed to take, and goes back to what he does: Traveling interminably from city to city to fire people. He’s spit back into his old life an empty shell.

Ryan Bingham doesn’t get a happy ending. He’s returned to the exact same state he was in at the beginning of the film. But now he recognizes what Natalie saw all along: that his philosophy is bullshit, a realization Reitman brings home when Bingham crosses the 10 million mile mark and concludes how insignificant that executive status really is. Indeed, instead of filling that backpack and sending Ryan Bingham off to the suburbs and the ticky-tacky houses and the 2.2 kids, Jason Reitman gives him back his independence and his frequent flyer status. The difference in the end, of course, is that now the emptiness of that back-pack is what’s weighing him down.

Emptiness has never felt so heavy.

“Hey, I don’t have all the answers,” Dicky Fox says in the closing scene of Jerry Maguire. “In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.” Compare that spirited, crowd-pleasing closing with Ryan Bingham’s final line of Up in the Air: “The stars will wheel forth from their daytime hiding places; and one of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.”

The contrast is devastating.

The point of Up in the Air, of course, is that culturally, we put too much emphasis on our jobs. We allow them to define who we are. We put countless hours and mountains of effort into our employment, failing to realize the fragile status. One downswing in the economy or a tiny misstep in the office, and our careers — and in many cases, our very identities — can be stripped away from us. That’s why relationships are so valuable. We shouldn’t let our careers or the labels on our desk placards define us, we should let the ones we love and who love us define who we are. We may not always have a job to wake up to in the morning, but if we’re lucky, we’ll have someone to wake up next to. Just ask yourself this, at the end of the day: What’s the better epitaph, “Brilliant accountant” or “Loving husband?”


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Comments

Like the saying goes, nobody's last dying words are "I wish I'd spent more time at the office."

Posted by: , at April 7, 2010 2:41 PM

Starts the slow clap.......

Posted by: scorzi at April 7, 2010 2:44 PM

Nice piece, Mr. Rowles.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 7, 2010 2:52 PM

When I was fired from a job at the end of last year, my ex-boss attempted to turn it into some kind of "Up in the Air" moment. The man was no George Clooney. No, he was a fucking asshole who shitcanned me right after Christmas because he "didn't want to ruin my holiday." I'd almost rather he had done it by video chat.

Posted by: Captain Tuttle at April 7, 2010 2:55 PM

/Agree

Posted by: coryo at April 7, 2010 3:01 PM

I think the only quibble I have with your analysis is the idea that Natalie was right all along. In fact, she was as misguided as Ryan. She was in love with the "image" of a relationship as marketed to her by Maidson Avenue, she actually had no idea what a real relationship was about. But I agree, a perfect film.
One caveat, as someone who flew 157,000 miles on American Airlines last year, don't be fooled by the film, it doesn't matter how much status you have with them, they don't treat you half as well as the film indicates.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 3:07 PM

Now I wanna see it again and its out of theatre already....guess I wait for DVD.

Posted by: yocean at April 7, 2010 3:07 PM

I'm with you on most of this, it's just that there are some jobs that are about connecting, that are more than just soul-sucking drudgery. I'm a teacher, and my job is all about relationships--I'm teaching my kids not only a useful skill (foreign language) but also how to thrive in the world; about triumphs and joy but also about how to cope with setbacks and disappointments. Each one of these delightful and frustrating teenagers has changed me in some way, and I like to think that I've affected them. If I lost my job I would lose a piece of my identity precisely because I would lose some of the most important relationships of my life. Make no mistake--a job doesn't have to be corporate to envelope your life. There are 12-hour days, weekends of back-and-forth emailing, working vacations (ah, the joys of grading 100 exams by the light of the Christmas tree)...but I would never associate it with some sort of bland, mindless career. It's fulfilling in a way that my deepest personal relationships are fulfilling. It's just...different.

Posted by: Baby Friday at April 7, 2010 3:09 PM

I agree with Paddy. Emotionally, Natalie had her heart in the right place, but psychologically, she was a disaster. And professionally she was a mess as well - firing people via video conference?

Of course, the difference is that despite the trip-ups she has, she does get something of a fresh start, which Bingham does not.

Incidentally, my favorite moment in the movie is the scene in the airport where Bingham is giving his "we all die alone" shtick and she just breaks the fuck down, completely. It's beautifully done.

Natalie: How about just not dying alone?

Bingham: Starting when I was 12, we moved each one of my grandparents into a nursing facility. My parents went the same way. Make no mistake, we all die alone. Now those cult members in San Diego, with the sneakers and the Kool-Aid, they didn't die alone... I'm just saying there are options.

--she starts to cry--

Bingham: Oh, fuck.

Natalie: Brian left meeeee.

Posted by: Skewicide Blonde at April 7, 2010 3:11 PM

I just watched it last weekend (it is on dvd, yocean) and I really enjoyed it. Perfect? No, but definitely excellent. I'd agree with most of your assessment with the exception of PaddyDog's point. Which is why I love her.

Posted by: admin at April 7, 2010 3:14 PM

I loved Up in the Air, too. I am very fortunate to be able to spend two years living abroad in different places. Everything I own fits into two suitcases, a fact I used to feel great about. Freedom! Movement! Travel! I actually saw this movie on a vacation in yet another country. When I got back to my hotel room and saw my little carry-on bag, I felt like I got punched in the gut.

Posted by: The Wandering Parakeet at April 7, 2010 3:25 PM

Baby Friday:

Your perspective comes from the fact that you do a job that actually makes a difference in some people's lives. Unfortunately most of us end up in jobs that are essentially meaningless and have been created to keep the gerbils occupied on the wheels. We start to invest more and more misguided importance into this because let's face it, most of us spend more time at work/commuting to work/dealing with work issues via Blackberry than we do actually having lives. There's a piece in one of Tana French's books where she says we have to imbue our jobs with a huge sense of importance because the alternative is to accept that we spend so much time engaging in futility and that will drive us to madness. Anyway, we do all that unconsciously and then when we're fired we think that it's the end of the world. Up in the Air demonstrated that in such a painfully realistic way (the character who said "I'm the one holding this place together, they can't fire me"): that's what makes it perfect for me.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 3:39 PM

Paddy Dog: Totally get that. I've had those jobs, too (and felt the pain). I was just underscoring that it's not just "work" that's at issue here, but this type of job. I absolutely agree with your assessment of Natalie, too.

Posted by: Baby Friday at April 7, 2010 3:48 PM

Well that gave me the chills. Guess I'm gonna have to watch this again. You say it's out on DVD? *watches 20 bucks fly gracefully away*

Posted by: the_wakeful at April 7, 2010 4:02 PM

This movie almost had me. But afterwards I got stuck on a giant plot hole that completely overshadowed any message the movie might have offered. Alex, being married, NEVER would have gone to Ryan's sister's wedding without clarifying the relationship. Inviting someone to a family wedding is an unmistakable signal, and the fact that she did not respond appropriately completely destroyed any suspension of disbelief.

Reitman's attempt to get the "gotcha" moment ended up undermining the movie and its message completely.

Posted by: Ken at April 7, 2010 4:20 PM

Alex, being married, NEVER would have gone to Ryan's sister's wedding without clarifying the relationship.

This was where I got hung up too. Of course, I don't think the movie ended on a horribly sad doomed note, either. Clooney's character still gives all his free miles away to someone who will love having a trip around the world, and he's still a really sexy guy with a job and a future - there's another Alex out there, one who's single this time.

Then again, I didn't come away with the best interpretation of The Family Man either. (Yay, the kids never existed and you got your hot sports car back!)

Posted by: twig at April 7, 2010 4:32 PM

You know, I'm not sure about the Alex plot-line flaw. If Ryan were super close to his family and she thought she was being invited as the "now it's time to meet the family" moment, then yes. But he was practically a stranger to his family and I think she saw it as just another hook-up to keep him company. As mentioned above I travel an awful lot for my work and I witness these hook-ups all the time and there's a lot that's left unsaid, especially clarifications about other relationships.
The worst part is that most men who travel think all the women are up for it because apparently we must be lonely career dragons if we're wearing a suit in the business lounge instead of at home taking care of babies. I'm no prude but to be honest it can be pretty disgusting watching it all unfold, not anywhere as sweet and witty as the opening half of Up in the Air.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 4:51 PM

One caveat, as someone who flew 157,000 miles on American Airlines last year, don't be fooled by the film, it doesn't matter how much status you have with them, they don't treat you half as well as the film indicates.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 3:07 PM

Not sure I agree with you here, PaddyDog. I flew 140,000 miles on AA last year, and I'm at the low-end of the totem pole among some of my compatriots -- we were unanimous in thinking that Clooney nailed at least a certain archetype of frequent flier. While AA got a pass in that UitA never showed Bingham enduring the dreaded "mechanical" -- where no amount of status can salve the immediate pain -- I thought the movie was pretty good in depicting the average-to-fine aspects.


The worst part is that most men who travel think all the women are up for it because apparently we must be lonely career dragons if we're wearing a suit in the business lounge instead of at home taking care of babies. I'm no prude but to be honest it can be pretty disgusting watching it all unfold, not anywhere as sweet and witty as the opening half of Up in the Air.

Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 4:51 PM

Well, you did qualify it by saying "most" men. I suspect your observation may be correlated to your vocation, because I assure you that your ratio would take a hit if it factored in telecommunications engineers. We're a truly dorky lot -- we'd be lucky to get Paul Giamatti playing one of us, much less George Clooney...

I could have broken this up into two responses, but I'm lazy.

Posted by: Che Grovera at April 7, 2010 5:31 PM

I agree with PaddyDog, but I saw it going one step further. I saw it as your job isn't your life, it can't fix everything, but then again, neither will your relationships. You see many examples of relationships not making you happy in the film, Alex and her marriage, his sister's pending divorce, Natalie's idealistic (and, ultimately, unrealistic)view of marriage. The way I saw this, and it may be filtered through the lens of my own experience, is, you can't expect any one section of your life to make all of it perfect, you need to look at the big picture and try to find balance.

Try to find a job you love, or at least don't mind doing. Keep loving people in your life and if you happen to find a great partner/spouse, hold on to them and realize what they add. At the same time, do not expect your job alone to make you happy. Do not expect your awesome spouse to be the thing that makes life worth living, because that kind of narrow focus isn't what makes it great. Jobs and people will disappoint you, so find the things in yourself that are great and use those to make all the areas of your life good and important as much as you can, look at the big picture. Ryan doesn't need to do a 180 and quit is job and get married and move to the burbs, that won't really make him happy, but he can stop seeing his family as a burden and check in and give his sister her dream honeymoon simply because he has the ability to do so, not because he "has to." He can open up the other parts of his life and see the good things that makes life better just because it's well rounded. Natalie lets go of the boy and goes to her dream job, which will make her happier and thus better able to contribute to a great relationship. It's all connected.

It sounds like a total after school special (and also very long... sorry.), but that's what I got, and I loved that about this movie, that it was complex and ambiguous about what the "message" was and it wasn't a simple happy ending with everything wrapped up.

Posted by: lumenatrix at April 7, 2010 5:32 PM

Che Grovera:

Oddly enough, I do think AA ExecPlat service desk gives better service to men than women. I have begged for small favours such as moving to a different flight after mine is canceled only to be shut down several times whereas Mr. PaddyDog, who has no status, will call up using my number and immediately be switched to a new flight. It's pretty arbitrary based on which agent answers ones call. Clooney did nail the frequent flyer type, but the picture of AA was too rosy and perfect (Sushi in all the Admirals' Clubs? Not even the premier international lounge has sushi).

P.S. My experience with the airport lechers has nothing to do with my particular field, there's just a certain type of man who thinks women in airport lounges are dying to be fucked. And there are plenty of women ready to reinforce that opinion.


Posted by: PaddyDog at April 7, 2010 5:45 PM

I just like the way the phrase "lonely career dragon" looks on the page/sounds in my head. I'll likely never get a chance to use it in real life, but I'm filing it nevertheless. Man I love words.

Posted by: Ian at April 7, 2010 5:59 PM

" Just ask yourself this, at the end of the day: What’s the better epitaph, “Brilliant accountant” or “Loving husband?”"

I adored UITA (thought it got ROBBED at the Oscars by far lesser movies), but the statement above gives me pause. The world needs brilliant accountants and dogged social workers and scientists who never see the light of day, and politicians who never stop campaigning and pushing and judges who have no lives beyond the law. Yes, this involves neglecting your family (or not having one at all). I'm sure I'll fall into the "loving wife" category, but I'm pretty grateful there are people out there willing to make personal sacrifices I'm not willing to make. I know this doesn't apply to all kinds of jobs (i.e. the administrative assistants at my job who come in, unpaid, on weekends to "catch up" on ministerial nonsense), but I think there can be tremendous societal worth in putting one's job first. I'm reminded of an interview with Ralph Nadar in which he straight-up admitted that he just couldn't have a family given his career because he couldn't in good conscience subject somebody to his schedule. I respected that enormously, even though I know I couldn't do it myself.

Posted by: samantha t at April 7, 2010 6:21 PM

@PD:
I'll take your word about the EXP service desk since I've never called in as a woman. It occurs to me that the majority of CSRs there are women (in my experience), so it's plausible that there's a gender-based dynamic at play.
I've encountered AA sushi only at the Narita Flagship Lounge, but it's one of the highlights (for me) of transiting through Tokyo. Simple pleasures...

...which winds up being a nice segue into observations on Dustin's actual post. Everyone seems to talk about the ending being "crushing" or "devastating", but I don't see it that way at all.

He gets on the plane he’s supposed to take, and goes back to what he does: Traveling interminably from city to city to fire people. He’s spit back into his old life an empty shell.

Ryan Bingham doesn’t get a happy ending.

Baloney. While there may be numerous variations on what constitutes "happy", I wasn't left with the impression that Bingham was unhappy with his circumstance. He changed and grew as the result of his dalliance with Alex, but he wasn't going to be "happy" in a standard rom-com ending no matter what happened there. I think far too many people project their own prejudices and conclude that no one could find happiness in a circumstance in which they couldn't be happy themselves.

Posted by: Che Grovera at April 7, 2010 6:23 PM

I loved this, Dustin. That last paragraph will be my epitaph.

Posted by: Sofía at April 7, 2010 6:46 PM

Sofia forced me to re-read that last paragraph and to shore up my rebuttal. People are great and all, but they come and go with just as much vicissitude as any other aspect of this mutable life. While "job" and "career" are flimsy repositories for self-worth, vocational or avocational passion can be every bit as rewarding as relationships -- and the beauty of it is that they are not mutually exclusive.

Posted by: Che Grovera at April 7, 2010 7:19 PM

I agree with Che. Maybe I'm greedy, but I need both. I know a having fulfilling job doesn't make me who I am, but it helps. I know feeling good about myself does not depend on my fantastic boyfriend, but damnit if he doesn't make it easier. Right now I have no job, and it's eating away at me. Not just because of the financial insecurity, but also because our jobs give us our place in society. I know I'm a good person, and I'm so proud of, and thankful for, the people I've surrounded myself with, but as long as I'm not treading on any wheel, I'll feel like the sad little gerbil who's stuck in the sawdust. Watching the wheels spin overhead, and waiting for the poo to drop...

Posted by: Pants at April 7, 2010 8:12 PM

Che, you said what I was trying to say much more succinctly.

Posted by: lumenatrix at April 7, 2010 8:58 PM

lumenatrix, that was very well put. That's what I took away from the film as well. Relationships alone can not define us, just as careers can't. It's a balance. It's believing in the things we love, but not relying on them completely.

You can love your job, especially if you're good at it and you have a positive effect on people. If all we worried about was being a good husband or wife, than the world would be in trouble. And there's nothing wrong with independence. You can be single and still have family and friends. There's more than one way to be happy (or sad, for that matter). Alex's marriage was clearly a mess if she was f'ing some other dude, yet her husband may very well be the "loving husband".

Jobs disappear and so do spouses. But if, at the end of the day when it's all been stripped away, you still recognize yourself, than you'll be just fine.

Posted by: lucy at April 7, 2010 9:29 PM

I meant to say, "lumenatrix AND Che, that was very well put."

Posted by: lucy at April 7, 2010 9:36 PM

I love movie epiphanies. I had mine with Eternal Sunshine. I can't imagine a more perfect movie. Yours was especially lovely and I feel privileged to share it. Wonderful writing as well. This is why I love this site so much. Well played and many thanks, sir.

Posted by: Az at April 7, 2010 11:16 PM

Great piece, Dustin. I left this movie simultaneously feeling like someone punched me in the gut and completely loving it. I don't think it was perfect (I actually wasn't a big fan of the motivational speaker/backpack shtick) but I think this describes it perfectly:

But you don’t even realize that carpet is gone until you’ve left the theater, trying to figure out how Up in the Air quietly, like an invisible thief in a romantic comedy, ripped out a hole in your soul.

Posted by: Even Stevens at April 8, 2010 3:31 AM

Even it wasn't anywhere near my favourite or most enjoyable movie of 2009, 'Up in the Air' has been the only one that has really still stayed with me.

You captured my feelings on the movie perfectly, Dustin, and it strikes me now to think that of all the terribly contrived 'surprise twists' I've seen in movies (nearly all of them shoe-horned into the final minutes of terrible horrible movies in an attempt to redeem them), the one in 'Up in the Air' was the most devastating.

Posted by: Victoria at April 8, 2010 6:36 AM

Well written piece Dustin.

Posted by: Micah at April 8, 2010 10:11 AM

I watch the Up in the Air mania with a sort of bemused amusement. I don't agree with anything in this piece, especially the thesis. This movie was, to me, predictable and sentimental. Everything Dustin picked out as a surprising twist was something I've seen dozens of times in various and sundry romcoms and tv shows. And not good ones, either: freaking Grey's Anatomy. And Anna Kendrick, while well-cast, was infuriating. This movie didn't touch any nerve in my body. It wasn't bad, but I wish I hadn't seen it in theatres... waste of money.

You know who did like it, though? My 50-year-old businessman father, which I totally understand.

But the article was well-written.

I welcome debate.

Posted by: Ling at April 8, 2010 12:46 PM

" I stereotype, It's faster..." sad but so true

Posted by: clairebaxter at April 8, 2010 5:05 PM

Pants, I know exactly how you feel - not having a job has made me incredibly insecure. The reason we put too much emphasis on what we do is because it takes up so much of our lives!
Since high school, I structured my life around becoming an Account Executive in an Ad Agency. That was my dream job - I always felt fulfilled and content at the end of a busy week and I cried when they let me go. I just thought, shit, what am I supposed to do now?
And the thing is, my job totally sucked. I worked at least 60 hours a week with no OT, got yelled at by clients everyday, had to fight with designers to get them to just do the work, etc. I actually hated it, but I still felt good that I was being productive and doing a good job.

Posted by: smasherstein at April 8, 2010 7:43 PM

I loved this movie as well, and I agree that the ending is the opposite of a romantic comedy. However, I came away feeling that Ryan's philosophy at the beginning of the movie was CORRECT. He was happy at the beginning, then he got close to someone(Alex)who proved his point---relationships are bullshit. She not only hurt him, but she's a lying cheat to her husband and her children. Why would he want to entangle himself with people?

Posted by: karen at April 8, 2010 10:25 PM

"I watch the Up in the Air mania with a sort of bemused amusement. I don't agree with anything in this piece, especially the thesis. This movie was, to me, predictable and sentimental. Everything Dustin picked out as a surprising twist was something I've seen dozens of times in various and sundry romcoms and tv shows. And not good ones, either: freaking Grey's Anatomy. And Anna Kendrick, while well-cast, was infuriating. This movie didn't touch any nerve in my body. It wasn't bad..."

Posted by: Ling at April 8, 2010 12:46 PM


Couldn't agree more, Ling. I, too, thought it trite and sentimental. And very predictable. I even expected the "she's married" twist, because Reitman was so adamant in selling how "they are exactly the same!".

At the end, I wasn't sure WHAT he did, but I HOPED it was get back into his earlier life, where he was actually happy.

I'm so sick of movies trying to convince us that the suburban dream is the only way to go. A REAL trailblazing movie would be one that tells us it's okay to NOT want marriage, picket fences, 2.5 children and a graveyard plot for two...

I was sorely disappointed by this movie. I thought it had so much more potential to be special.

Posted by: Zelda at April 9, 2010 3:34 AM

I'm in the "I need both" camp. I recently left graduate school in order to pursue a different, related degree (and still waiting to apply), and I am also in a very happy, fulfilling relationship. I loved what I was doing in school, and can't wait to go back.

Even though my relationship and family are great, I feel sooo useless without working! It's not a self-worth thing for the most part. It's accomplishing something I believe in, getting my hands dirty in something fascinating, being with people, expressing ideas, giving a great talk, changing peoples' minds, discovering something new.

I haven't seen Maguire or UitA, but I think both of them might have one piece of the puzzle.

Vince Noir: Devoted Family Man. Passion for his Life's Work

Posted by: Vince Noir at April 11, 2010 12:11 AM





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