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We Were Promised Jetpacks

By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (46)



SilverJetpack.jpg

If Spielberg is to be believed, we’ll all be cruising around on hoverboards in just five years. Then again, that’s probably reserved for the people who haven’t docked up at our space stations that have been hovering around for the past nine years, if Arthur C. Clarke is to be believed. All at the whim of our fascist overlords of the past 26 years, if George Orwell is to be believed. I’m still waiting for the floating space cars, but they’ve got until 2062 for that.

I mock the fantasy-future of our most creative minds, but truly, if you think about it, technology is already eroding. It’s amazing to watch some of these older films, from less than 20 years ago in some instances, and seeing how outmoded terms and prices have become. As both a film critic and a screenwriter, I’m constantly fascinated at how some of our works will translate. Slang, fashion, and music already turn some films immediately quaint. Especially when the past imagined what we would be like today. I love the video game Stubbs the Zombie — because it takes place in the today of Tomorrowland, how the people of the 1950s imagined we’d be living today. And I’m curious as to what will become obsolete.

Think about telephones. In the past, you’d have to contact the switchboard operator to get you an open line. Or if you had to make a quick phone call, the pay phone might cost a dime or a nickel. You used to be able to coolly flip a quarter at someone and tell them to “call someone who cares.” Now it’d take a handful of change, presuming you weren’t trying to call someone on a cell phone. And that’s if you can even find a pay phone anymore. There is a generation of people out there who have no idea what the hell a rotary telephone is. Cell phones are everywhere now, and I distinctly recall never getting one until I had left college in 2000. This paradigm shift has affected storytelling — as now stranding a character means also ensuring they have no signal or access to a cell phone. And don’t even get me started on beepers.

I think it’s amazing that we still refer to songlists we make for friends as “mixtapes.” Do cassettes even exist anymore? People still play records but 8-tracks have gone away. And now CDs are pretty much delivery systems for MP3s. But as a child, carefully riding the school bus with a Discman balanced on my lap so it wouldn’t constantly skip, I could never begin to imagine that maybe a decade later, I could store the 20 CDs I had in my little carrying case on a device the size of a pack of cards.

I wonder what commonplace devices nowadays will become obsolete. Because the future can swing both ways. We might develop fantastic machinery — or plunge ourselves into a Luddite dark ages where electricity is forbidden. I’m curious as to what you might think will go the way of the phonograph and laser disc.









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Comments

My backpack's got jets. I'm Boba the Fett.
I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt to finance my 'Vette.
I chill in deep space,
a mask is over my face.
I deliver the prize but I still narrow my eyes
Coz my time I don't like to waste. Get down.

I'm a sucker for old school shit. My house will be decked out in "antiques." I can't wait for when laptops weigh only a few ounces and you can fold them up and put them in your pocket. I was watching a video the other day of a cell phone touch-screen that is transparent and can be folded in half and hit with a hammer without breaking. I swooned a little.

Posted by: DeistBrawler at May 20, 2010 2:20 PM

Anyone remember those jewel-tones Motorola pagers that were all the rage in '94/'95ish? I had a green one. That was how my parents would get a hold of me. Seems really weird now.

I, too, did not get a cellphone until Summer of 2000, after leaving college.

Posted by: gunnertec at May 20, 2010 2:25 PM

My first cellphone was in 2002, when I graduated high school. My mother insisted on me having a phone when I went away to college.

I'm more surprised at how the computer has evolved. When I was a kid, maybe 2 out of every 5 homes had a PC. So at school, it was a treat to go to the computer lab and play Oregon Trail, using those floppy disks, no less! Now computers are so commonplace, 3 year olds know how to email. That just baffles me.

Posted by: Brie at May 20, 2010 2:32 PM

I'm not crazy about having been born in 1954 but am grateful to have witnessed all of the incredible technological advances of the past 56 years. Now, technology is advancing at an exponential rate and I don't think we can predict with any certainty what may be obsolete within the next decade, much less in the next century.
My guess?
Steering wheels in cars. Systems are already being developed to make passenger vehicles that do the work of a driver. The only people manually driving an automobile will be antique car collectors.

Posted by: Spender at May 20, 2010 2:35 PM

For a think piece, there's really not much thought here. "Technology has changed, and what people imagined 50 years ago isn't what it's like today, and the gadgets from my youth are becoming relics because, like I said, technology has changed." Fascinating - I've never read such an in-depth discourse.

Posted by: raul at May 20, 2010 2:35 PM

Hmmm... perhaps opinionated jerks will become obsolete. Nah, don't worry, raul, there will always be a need for jerks.

Posted by: Spender at May 20, 2010 2:38 PM

Raul, I think the think is supposed to happen in the comments section. Yours was good for a first try, keep at it.

Posted by: Ian at May 20, 2010 2:39 PM

I have a feeling that technology is going to drive us further apart physically, while bringing us closer intellectually, as it already is.

Pause to think how many things in your life have been replaced by a keystroke, if you so choose:

movie tickets
phone numbers
settling a bar trivia argument
Film reviews and discussions
Christmas shopping (for me, anyway)
Travel planning and purchasing
Finding rare music and live performances
Research, research, research

Any one else? I'm not commenting on it either way, just pointing it out.

Posted by: Ian at May 20, 2010 2:46 PM

I predict the desktop computer will make it's exit in the near future. It won't be due to some upgrade/update/new product. It will be because all of our systems will start to become more and more fully integrated. Cell phones can already dial up your home TV to order it to record your favorite show. Your TV shows you who is calling on the phone so you don't have to get off your fat ass to look at the caller ID.

Before too long, your TV will just be a big monitor for the wee box that sits under your PS4 (it already is in many regards). If you want to check your e-mail, you'll be able to pause what you're watching, pull the roll-up rubber keyboard from under the coffee table (or more likely, under the couch) and get sidetracked on Pajiba in no-time.

Posted by: superasente at May 20, 2010 2:51 PM

Check the website, and watch the awesome movie of a "jetpack" (actually ducted fans) being developed in New Zealand. If my wife would have let me have $30K I would already have been there learning to fly one.

http://www.martinjetpack.com/

Posted by: Robb at May 20, 2010 3:01 PM

I am still waiting for cars that fold up into briefcases, like they had on The Jetsons. Also I'm pretty sure we're only a generation or two away from doing away with all screens of all kinds and everyone will just have fancy chips in their brains that allow them to view media and emails on their eyeballs.

Posted by: JenVegas at May 20, 2010 3:08 PM

I'm so ancient, I can remember when fax machines were the huge leap in technology for business.

PC's as we know them now will no longer exist in 15-20 years, probably sooner. Handhelds will rule the world.

Telephones attached to a home address. Whoosh.

Automobiles running only on gasoline, gone in 25 years.

Posted by: James S at May 20, 2010 3:10 PM

oooh DeistBrawler I think I love you for posting that song... Fett's Vett was my ring tone for the LONGEST time :)

I think in the near future we're all gonna have those touch screen / video things in those yellow book ads... where that one ho keeps catching her skeezy bf cheating... and then she wants to remove a tattoo and then shop for a hot dress to make him jealous...

that and flying cars damnit!

Posted by: Tammers at May 20, 2010 3:16 PM

I would never want a jet pack. I feel like I would burn my ass. I have a little junk in the trunk...My jet pack would have to be the "ghetto booty" version.
Um...mail is pretty much going away. Now referred to as snail mail. Shipping of goods will always need to happen, but actual letters and such are already going away in favor of electronic communication.
Separate things like cameras, video cameras, phones, computers, music players, remote controls, etc are being merged into one entity so in the not too far future I think we'll see the end of gadgets that only do one thing. Your kindle is going to be a book, cell phone, and ass-swiffer all in one.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at May 20, 2010 3:17 PM

Man, I remember being the envy of all my friends because we had a VCR. And it had not only a Rewind, but a FAST rewind. Remember the separate tape rewinders?
I am not a technology fiend. I do not own CD's, or Ipod, or MP3. I have a TV I bought in 1998, still works GREAT. Heck, I have one TV around here that is from about 1989, also still going strong. My DVD player is almost 10 years old. I usually wait for my techie friends to buy new shiny toys, then I get their slightly used ones.

I must say I like how effortless airplane travel has become, though. Print boarding pass, scan it in, BAM! Good to go. I remember the days of endless check-in lines and waiting for hours to get things started. Now, aside from the rigamarole of security, it is like catching a bus. THAT is progress.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 20, 2010 3:18 PM

1. I no longer need a flying car, or a car that folds up into a briefcase, because I work from home on an itty bitty little computer.

2. What I want to know is, where is the computer that's supposed to do my job for me so I can have all this free time I was promised? I'm working more overtime than ever fixing computer glitches.

3. Then again, there was the lady who called me to help her set up her booth at a trade show. She seemed to think that I would have lots of free time because I WORK FROM HOME. I have a shift I have to cover, lady.

4. Because of all the computer crap, I tend to fall technologically backwards for fun. I weave cloth on hand operated looms, spin yarn on spinning wheels, and sew on my great grandfather's treadle Singer, which is indestructible. Mechanical equipment never goes out of style. It's like playing with grown up Tinker Toys.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 20, 2010 3:30 PM

One good thing about technological progression- I never have to worry about my sons popping in my old porn on VHS. I don't have even have a VCR, why the fuck do I still have them? Ah, memories... One thing, evidently, I will have to worry about- them watching internet porn on their eyeball computer screens.

Fantastic. Just like my ol' grandpa used to say: "no eyeball computer porn for you until you're 12, dagnabbit!"

Posted by: logar at May 20, 2010 3:46 PM

I read an article once abotut all the "advertisements" in Blade Runner.
Companies that at the time were unnassailable, but now out of business.
I haven't watched the movie in a while, but that stuck with me.

As for the future?
Phone earpieces already make us look schizophrenic.
Handset screens make us look autistic.
Fashion trends to the slovenly.
So that's how I see us. Schizophrenic, autistic homeless people.
With rocket packs, of course.

Posted by: Odnon at May 20, 2010 4:22 PM

"abotut"?
Spelling will also be obsolete, I have decided.

Posted by: Odnon at May 20, 2010 4:25 PM

I don't know anyone who uses the term mixtape (outside of this site). Maybe it's just a holdover with old people.

Eyeball porn cannot come soon enough, long train rides? Not long enough! Boring classes? Who'll notice? Project briefings? Hot!

Posted by: Chugga at May 20, 2010 6:40 PM

I just want Tony Stark's little plasma cell phone thingy from Iron Man 2. @_@ I don't much care about the rest.

@BWeaves: I knit, spin and sew my own clothes, too! The good thing about all this technology: people are impressed when you can knit a square or sew a straight line, never mind an entire outfit.

Posted by: Linda at May 20, 2010 7:13 PM

Films made in 2D.
Books.
Speech.
We're all doomed.

Posted by: zomgmouse at May 20, 2010 8:08 PM

James Burke made the point that people in the industrialized nations have become very accustomed to the rapidity of change, but there's a sting in the tail - we tend to mistake technology for actual science. As long as we can hold it in our hands and it's smaller and more expensive than last year's model, we're very happy to sit and play with it.

Research that could actually improve things? Not so much, as that's rather abstruse, difficult to understand, and usually relegated to the people in the white coats who speak a different language.

My vision of the future is a tad Hobbesian. There will be a greater stratification of society and a wider divide between Haves and Have Nots (this, of course, is predicated on the assumption there *won't* be a global environmental disaster; if there is, the scramble for resources will make the current wars look like sandbox spats), and tech will become our bane as well as our benefactor.

There are disadvantages to being so constantly interconnected, after all.

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 20, 2010 9:05 PM

I'm still pissed the big "it thing" turned out to be the Segway. What a rip-off! In my mind it was supposed to be a personal jet pack.

I think road travel will have to become obsolete, primarily because the state and amount of roadways are inadequate. Just about any road in the New York metro area is falling apart, being worked on (for at least ten years!) and is backed up at all times. Connecticut roads suck and aren't built for the traffic they now support. (I'm sure there are plenty of other states with the same issues.) Let me tell you, when the Cross Bronx is backed up for two hours at 10 or 11 pm, there is a problem! I had a genius idea that roads should be built on top of roads - like a double level road kind of thing - but I don't think anyone is going to get on that idea. And for whatever reason, this country just doesn't seem to want to put out the money for better public transportation than Amtrak. So I don't know, I guess we're going to have to go the way of The Fifth Element or something, and someone has to come up with a personal flying car.

Posted by: Cindy at May 20, 2010 9:31 PM

Hearing aids and a lot of vision correction gizmos will go away as we build or grow embeddable replacements.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at May 20, 2010 9:40 PM

I remember that my brother and I were the remote when the channel needed changing. And the cable box had a dial that went all the way to 13!!!

As for the future I hope they invent something that prevents people with an IQ under 100 from breeding. But then who will be left in California?

Posted by: the EPA at May 20, 2010 10:01 PM

I agree somewhat with the Wanderer: the resources required to make all these spectacular little gadgets are not limitless, so unless we make the philosophical choice to live with less and/or find ways to live in harmony with our surroundings, things can only get shittier for all but the upper 1%.

My prediction:
Tech
“Organic tech”- a fusing of technology and natural, renewable materials, shift away from plastic
Energy derived from chemical/biological (hydrogen, chemical reactions, algae, etc) and the environmental sources we know about (solar, wind etc)
Vast improvements in energy efficiency to compensate for the loss in
Decreased reliance on physical infrastructure.
The next most valuable resource will be the landfill rubbish dumps of the 20th century

Social,
A return to the notion of shared resources and communal living-
The social balance will shift back to socializing with the people around you as a matter of necessity as well as desire. Think about it: right now, is there any fundamental, vitally important reason for you to interact with people around you? Work maybe? As someone who can go for an entire working day job with all but minimal contact with anyone, I can imagine it would be easy to comfortably live as a hermit in the middle of even the busiest city if you wanted to. Reintroduce the need to share resources and all that starts to change.

Basically, a society that is driven by necessity to make the most out of the least, built on a sustainable platform, that has learned the difference between what it wants and what it needs.

Ok, that last bit was more wishing than believing. It may not be a sexy vision of the future (and it is far from fully thought through), but at least one that doesn’t predict that great sci fi trope, the doomsday crash. Not to say it isn’t likely, but lets try a little optimism eh?

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at May 20, 2010 11:21 PM

I used the phrase "like fingernails on a chalkboard" the other day, and then realized that most people under 25 (30?) have no idea what I mean.

This past week I used a video camera with an actual tape cassette in it AND a disposable camera. That I took to a drug store. To have prints made.

I'm soooo old ...

Posted by: , at May 21, 2010 12:16 AM

I can't wait for the flying cars. The drunk-flying crashes will be AWEsome! Imagine waking up and finding five bodies on your roof.

Posted by: , at May 21, 2010 9:26 AM

I wouldn't be surprised if SUV's and other gas-guzzling vehicles become extremely rare in the next fifty years or so.

But the beeper is coming back. In the wise words of Dennis Duffy, "Technology's cyclical."

Posted by: Lucas at May 21, 2010 4:16 PM

The idea that we can predict the future--and that events will unfold on a linear, logical plane--is the conceptual equivalent of 8-track tapes. This morning I woke up, fired up my computer, and in an instant I was reading about a broken pipe gushing toxic shit into the food chain. High-tech meets The Creature From The Black Lagoon. We can't handle much of what we've already invented.

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