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For That Inch

By Steven Lloyd Wilson | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (41)



titanic_agony.jpg

It’s September again, so as baseball stirs from the summer slumber of half-awake games to sprint towards the end, the brutal engine of football grinds into gear for another autumn.

I met a girl once, she walked into our suite in college as a football game wound down to half time. It was a blowout, 27-3 or some such at the half, just enough to be almost out of reach but just close enough for the miracle to lurk in the back of the mind. She asked why they’d even bother going out for the second half. It wasn’t a joke, she wasn’t making the easy sideways stab at the score, she pressed on with the insistence that it couldn’t possibly be worth the chance of injury to even step on that field with no chance of winning. If she was on the team, she wouldn’t bother going out for the second half. If she was a fan, she wouldn’t bother watching it.

There’s a distinction there between what makes someone a real fan, and what makes someone merely a spectator. But there’s also something unique to football, linked to a notion that to play is to suffer. No one ever wonders why a baseball team bothers trudging out to the field after the seventh inning stretch down a dozen runs. But then, no one ever accused a slugger of running up the score for stroking a three-run homer over the fence when already up by ten runs in the seventh. In brutality, we find mercy.

Neil Gaiman argued in American Gods that people don’t really gamble for the winning, they gamble for the losing. It’s sacrifice, old as blood. It’s the losing that gives the texture, not the winning. There are a handful of ways to score as the clock runs out to win the game, but there are an infinite number of ways to fall short. The greatest ending to a Super Bowl wasn’t one of the finger tip catches as time expired, but the sight of a receiver stretching the ball out and coming up short by inches. We want to believe somewhere that the universe is just, that the more we suffer, the more magnificent eventual victory will be. But there’s a niggling suspicion that the world isn’t just, that falling inches short is all we’ll ever have. And football is a game designed for that suspicion.

In baseball, there is always more time, but in football that clock mocks any illusions, ticking ever downwards. There’s an illusion to control, those alluring sidelines that can stop time. As the time diminishes, the desperation increases, the throws become more insistent, into triple coverage just for the chance to play another down. The mind starts calculating permutations. If we can get ten yards here in six seconds, and another ten in five seconds, there’s still one second on the clock for the field goal. In other sports, games that aren’t close tend to taper off at the end, but in football there’s a sense that the less close a game is, the more fevered its last minutes become. No gentlemanly slow acknowledgement that it is over, but a primal thrashing of a wounded animal, refusing to slip away in silence.

All football movies are the same movie underneath, with some set up, maybe a montage, but always about the game at the end. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, but there’s always far more excitement than has ever happened in a single game. It’s like the difference between a painting and a photograph. At face value, a painting is just a primitive photograph, it’s mechanically no different, it’s just performed with a slower and less accurate tool. But a painting is more than that. A photograph is a moment, frozen. But a painting is the facsimile of a moment, it’s the artist’s rendering of a thousand moments grafted into one. Bad painters try to paint one moment, but great painters paint all the moments at once, layered into a picture that could never have been photographed. That’s the magnificence of a football game in a movie. It’s the distilled emotion we’ve witnessed in a lifetime of games cast as one game.

Sports are the last bastion of reality we have in entertainment. Not because they matter in some grand sense, but because we act like they do. Other than an occasional spurt of interest in politics, sports are the only thing with permanence. What we are watching is happening right now. It can’t be scripted, it can’t be rewritten after the fact. The joy and agony we feel is not the product of a finely plucked script, but of genuine events. And so even though we always lose more than we win, we keep watching because the pain at least is real.

Steven Lloyd Wilson is a hopeless romantic and the last scion of Norse warriors and the forbidden elder gods. His novel, ramblings, and assorted fictions coalesce at www.burningviolin.com. You can email him here.









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Comments

This brings to mind an experience I had this weekend at putt-putt. Just a simple game, and we weren't being uber competitive about it, but whereas the holes-in-one got some polite "good one" comments or even a positive exclamation, we were loudest (and most excited) by far with the near misses. The balls that skirted just millimeters away from the hole were that much more exciting than the ones that went in.

Just sayin -- I get it.

Posted by: linny at September 7, 2011 3:23 PM

After the Brazil game of this past summer's Women's World Cup, and then the loss to Japan by inches, this post really hurts.

Well written, Steven Lloyd Wilson. That kind of sports pain is real. And it's testament to a glorious aliveness.

Posted by: Parker at September 7, 2011 3:36 PM

And so even though we always lose more than we win, we keep watching because the pain at least is real.

So very, very true.

Signed,

A life-long Detroit Lions fan.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 7, 2011 3:36 PM

I am still baffled by the people liking American Rugby. What's the fascination with watching people with more protective gear then most police officers in a game that can't go for more then two minutes without a pause

Oh well whatver rocks your boat I guess

Posted by: YesPlease at September 7, 2011 3:45 PM

Steven, did you happen to listen to Radiolab's recent podcast on Games? All about how people root for the underdog, and watch for that novel historic moment.

Posted by: SandraL at September 7, 2011 3:47 PM

in football there’s a sense that the less close a game is, the more fevered its last minutes become. No gentlemanly slow acknowledgement that it is over, but a primal thrashing of a wounded animal, refusing to slip away in silence.
---
Amen. This drives me absolutely batshit. Nobody loses with dignity anymore, which I define as: Take a knee, admit you got your ass kicked, get off the field and go back home and work to get better. It is if anything even worse in basketball, where in the last two minutes a beautiful flowing sport usually turns into a hack-and-foul-and-free-throw fest chopped into three-second bits with all the commercials that haven't run yet thrown in. I don't know who finds that exciting, when a team behind by a dozen points or more has to put on a big show that they think they still have a chance.

I believe this is a product of the coaches, who get paid so much money they start to believe that everyone shows up at the stadium or arena to watch them coach, and if they don't coach the living FUCK out of every game someone will call them on it. "Whatsamatta, you a QUITTA?"

I'd love to see rules where you CAN'T call a timeout in the last two minutes, and you have to trust the players on the field or the court to know what they're supposed to do in any situation. If you have to call a dozen timeouts to tell players what to do, you must not coach them very well between games.

As for the hacking, how about every foul committed in the last minute by the trailing team is automatically considered to be a deliberate foul -- two shots AND the ball. Let's see teams have to play some defense. It galls me that intentionally breaking the rules, which is what most fouls are, should give a team any kind of advantage, but as long as you can shoot 3-pointers while the other team can only shoot two free throws, it does.

Posted by: , at September 7, 2011 3:49 PM

Forbiddendonut,

I'll see your Lions fan and raise you a Pirates fan.

Posted by: , at September 7, 2011 3:50 PM

...but there’s always far more excitement than has ever happened in a single game.

What? You mean high school football teams don't routinely win games on last second, 90-yard, trick play touchdown passes? Friday Night Lights lies!

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 7, 2011 4:00 PM

My dear Pirates. They teased us for a little while this year, but I think we all knew it wasn't meant to last.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at September 7, 2011 4:01 PM

I feel you pain Donut. But the Stafford crystal will remain unbroken and lead us to the glory that is 8-8! Hallelujah!

Posted by: logan at September 7, 2011 4:17 PM

But the Stafford crystal will remain unbroken and lead us to the glory that is 8-8! Hallelujah!

Lions fans. You poor, poor bastards.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at September 7, 2011 4:26 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comeback_%28American_football%29

The Oilers led 28-3 at the half. Buffalo lost Thurman Thomas, their star running back to injury. then after an early third quarter interception for a touchdown, the Oilers pushed the lead to 35-3. The Bills comeback and take the lead with 3 minutes left in the game. The oilers drive the field for a last minute field goal to send the game to overtime where the Bills would end up getting the win.

Drama enough for you? Oh btw, it was an opening round playoff game not televised in Buffalo because they couldn't sell out the game. Buffalo would go on to win the next two playoff games to make it to the Super Bowl.

Posted by: LwoodPDowd at September 7, 2011 4:34 PM

I'm a devout Philly sports fan...except the Sixers. Fuck those guys and the sport in general, partly for ,'s description of the last 2 mins, but mostly because I just can't stand the sqeaking.

But it's the years of losing in every sport (except for baseball...lately) by one single R.C.H. that keeps me addicted and on the edge of my seat. I can't stand not to geek out at the miniscule things that can and do turn match-ups from wins to losses or from good to great.

And I can't wait for it...every year, every season. Except basketball. Fuck those guys.

Oh...and Detroit fans...I bet you finish at LEAST at 9-7. People are about to see they have no choice. Bow down to the SUH-Clocks-Clan

Posted by: PissBoy at September 7, 2011 4:44 PM

It is true the Pirates are the Detroit Lions of the MLB but they at least used to be good. The Lions last championship came before they made that silly Super Bowl thing.

Posted by: schrome at September 7, 2011 4:46 PM

The Lions last championship came before they made that silly Super Bowl thing.

Not only that, but the Lions have only won one playoff game since 1957. One playoff win in 54 years. They haven't been to the playoffs or had a winning season since 1999. This in a league where parity reigns.

The biggest difference, today, is that there is finally some legitimate hope for the Lions. As for the Pirates, well... Not so much. Harder to have hope in a league where certain teams' payrolls are 2-3 times as large as other teams.

At least Pittsburgh people have the Steelers and Penguins.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 7, 2011 5:00 PM

yesplease, I understand your reasoning. On average there is only 10 minutes of actual playtime in a professional football game. And the players wear much gear. But if you have ever played it, those brief 3 to 5 seconds when a play develops, are the rush of a lifetime. Anything can happen. You can be the hero or the coat in a flash. But when something DOES happen, Say a pick six, a 60 yard bomb or best of all, a 80 yard run for the Endzone, it is spectacular.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 7, 2011 5:05 PM

Can I just say that this is extremely well written, and YesPlease is an idiot.

Posted by: The_wakeful at September 7, 2011 6:07 PM

I wouldn't discount what YesPlease is saying. There was a time when professional football was played under three hours. Plus there was a time not long ago when QB's did not have strike zones and O lineman could not use open hands to block. There was even a time when there were no facemasks. So some of the brutality of football has been diminished. Yesplease is not a fan of the sport. i don't begrudge him or her that. I would be interested though how they would regard the game of yesteryear during the time of Butkus, Brown, Night Train and Bednarik.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 7, 2011 6:48 PM

YesPlease is an idiot.

No, because it when it DOESN'T happen, it's annoyingly fitful and just boring, really.

Oh and fuck basketball.

Posted by: Jay at September 7, 2011 6:49 PM

If they weren't wearing all that protective gear, the NFL would have fatalities in its history. The game is fast, hard-hitting, and plenty exciting.

Great piece, SLW.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 7, 2011 7:52 PM

Professional football is crippling. Hell, college and some high school football is crippling. Even with protective equipment. There is only so much pads and helmets can do when 250-pound men collide at high speed multiple times over the course of a season, for years. I wouldn't want anybody I care about to play pro football.

Posted by: Slash at September 7, 2011 8:07 PM

The game is fast, hard-hitting, and plenty exciting.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 7, 2011 7:52 PM
---
It's one of those.

I forget who said it, maybe Thomas Boswell, that football involves two of the worst facets of modern American society: violence and committee meetings.

Posted by: , at September 8, 2011 1:20 AM

Jay, are there any sports that you do fancy. Be honest and try not to be too snarky.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 5:35 AM

That would be George Will who said the above quote ",".

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 6:46 AM

the one attributed to Boswell I mean.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 7:32 AM

I agree with you Pissboy, the freakin squeakin...I hate it. Had to force myself to watch the Celtics in the 80's because I couldn't miss Larry Bird play, but I can't stand the squeakin.

I hear your pain Lions fan, but they looked pretty damn good in pre-season against my Patriots, so don't dispair. Patriots and Red Sox fans had some pretty lean years before the past decade but it's the love of the sport and your team that keeps one coming back.

Posted by: kirbyjay at September 8, 2011 9:52 AM

If the NFL players took up rugby they would win the World championship (or whatever the top game in that minor sport is called) in 3 years. Guaranteed.

Posted by: Big al at September 8, 2011 11:15 AM

Ah, that's right. Thanks, Mr. West.

Posted by: , at September 8, 2011 11:52 AM

Don't mention it.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 1:59 PM

"If the NFL players took up rugby they would win the World championship (or whatever the top game in that minor sport is called) in 3 years. Guaranteed."

It's the World Cup. It's on right now. It's an Olympic sport next year. And no they wouldn't. Football players simply don't have the stamina to play rugby. They would be puking on the sidelines after 10 minutes. They're athletes, for sure, but they are not prepared for rugby. I love football, but it's like asking a weightlifter to do a decathlon. On the flip side, most rugby players would excel on an NFL field.

I'd also like to see how they react after their head is stomped on with metal cleats, or both shoulders dislocated at once. I know how rugby players react - they finish the game.

And if you want to speed up football, there's a very easy way to do it: remove a down.

Posted by: Bert at September 8, 2011 3:22 PM

"On the flip side, most rugby players would excel on an NFL field."

You realize that in the skill positions the NFL player is bigger, stronger, AND faster than the equivalent rugby player, right? And if your boys could excel, well what's stopping them from taking over the NFL? What is stopping the NFL from taking over rugby is that they can't get paid millions for playing a minor activity few people watch. A girl waving a ribbon around is also an Olympic "sport".

Posted by: Big al at September 8, 2011 3:57 PM

Quarterbacks, offensive linemen, defensive tackles, some running backs and most WRs wouldn't have much to do in rugby. Safeties, linebackers, defensive ends, fullbacks, tight ends, some bruising RBs and a handful of particularly hard-nosed WRs would probably excel. It's kind of a silly argument.The games aren't that different and we're talking about world class athletes; give them right training and I'm sure a significant percentage in both sports could make the switch.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 8, 2011 4:33 PM

That said, ruggers would struggle with tackling. Rugby players put their heads behind the ball carrier and drag him to the ground both to protect their heads and because inches just aren't that important. Football players put the head in front and try to drive the ball carrier back or better yet, knock him back. Ruggers can obviously learn, having a facemask that will keep your nose from getting broken certainly helps, but it's a significant switch that would take some getting used to.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 8, 2011 4:40 PM

Tracer, that's some knowledge. Won't lie, don't know jack about rugby. But the way you describe it I think I'd enjoy it.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 9:27 PM

Tracer, where can an ex-jock find some good rugby? Same question goes for big Bert as well.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 9:29 PM

On TV I mean.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 8, 2011 9:30 PM

Thanks for the info. Good to take into account on my next trip!

Posted by: Hotels Rome at September 9, 2011 4:31 AM

I love Rome, it will forever be in my heart!

Posted by: Rome Hotels at September 9, 2011 4:50 AM

I adore Rome, it will forever be in my heart!

Posted by: Hotels Rome at September 9, 2011 5:56 AM

ESPN3.com unless you get the weird sports channels on the obscure digital tiers (The Ocho!). Sometimes BBCA will show a game but only whatever happens to be playing Saturday at noon.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 9, 2011 6:59 AM

Thank you Tracer.

Posted by: Mr.West at September 9, 2011 10:44 AM