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Entirely Too Much Attention To Detail: The Sci-Fi Pets Edition

By C. Robert Dimitri | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (31)



Ripley-Aliens1.jpg

The aim here is not to nitpick or criticize. It is simply to indulge in affectionate thought experiments and tangents related to movies that I have enjoyed over the years. What are the unspoken motivations, the unexplored avenues, and the seemingly insignificant details that lie outside and between the frames? Oh, and if you have not seen the movies I write about in this column, you are a little behind the times, but I offer a spoiler warning regardless.


Alien / Aliens

Jonesy the cat, where are you?!? Are you o.k.?!?

Jones The Cat - Alien.jpgEllen Ripley was not the only survivor of the Nostromo in Alien. Jones the cat (or “Jonesy”) made it out alive as well. He dodged his own close calls with the acid-blooded intruder and witnessed the death of Harry Dean Stanton’s Brett, who unfortunately was only trying to track down the elusive feline when he met his demise. It seemed that this particular alien in the original film had no interest in hurting Jones. Jones was likely acknowledged as too small to be a host.

What did Jones think of the alien and the terror it wrought? Jones hissed at the alien when he first encountered it, so his first instinct was that the creature was dangerous. Beyond that, Jones placidly observed Brett’s death. As my wonderful significant other queried, does he experience any actual trauma from the events of Alien? Does he possess that stereotypical feline detached attitude that “humans come and go” with him as mere observer to their drama?

Digression: that poor alien must have been extremely discombobulated. No eggs for the procreation of his species were near, and here he was stuck in this giant metallic coffin. Per the deleted scenes, the alien was trying to squirrel away its victims as potential hosts, but that was a most futile effort. If nature abhors a vacuum (that same vacuum where no one can hear you scream), then that alien’s evolutionary instincts had been completely subverted when Ash let Kane and the parasitic face-hugger back on the Nostromo. The alien species might have been as perfectly efficient as Ash admired it to be, but in isolation it was a doomed creature acting futilely in its purpose. (This concludes the digression.)

With the alien lurking in the corridors, Ripley put her own life at risk to go back for Jones before the ship’s self-destruct sequence completed. I like to think that as a pet-lover I would do the same, but I recognize her risk as an exceptionally brave thing to do for that cat.

After the completion of that adventure, Jones took a pleasant 57-year cryo-sleep nap with Ripley. I myself would probably wake up with the worst allergic sinus itch in the universe if I took a 57-year nap with a cat inside one of those cryo-tubes, but Ripley seemed to have no difficulties in that department.

Cast out by the corporation for her dubious tale, Ripley found a blue-collar job and took Jones in as a pet in her new inexpensive apartment. Haunted by nightmares, she gave in when the corporation came back to her asking for help on LV-426 with the promise of restoration to her old officer’s rank. What of Jonesy the cat?

As Ripley told him before she left with the space marines on the Sulaco: “And you, you little shit, you’re staying here.” That was the last we saw of Jones.

It was an appropriate precaution; Ripley did not want to be forced to save Jones again if the mission went wrong. (Of course, she later found a new reason to go back via her surrogate daughter Newt.) If Jonesy could speak, he probably would have told us that he did not want to go regardless. I did not distinguish a specific attachment to any member of the Nostromo’s crew, so it is not as if he loved Ellen Ripley and would never leave her side, although 57 years of shared sleeping quarters might create at least a subconscious bond.

Ripley, what did you do with him? You did not seem to have any family or friends left in the Aliens universe. Treating the extended version as canon, we in fact find out that your daughter passed away while you were drifting through space. Did you put Jonesy in a futuristic animal shelter? Did the space marines offer to take care of him at their Earth facility? Did you ask a neighbor or one of your new co-workers to look after him? This was probably the universe’s oldest cat in light of his extended hyper-sleep; he should be famous!

If a viewer wanted to stop the story at the end of Aliens, that viewer could presume that Ripley and Newt returned home and were reunited with Jones. That is where I would prefer the tale ended. The unfortunate existence of the sequels, however, told us that Ripley never made it back home to see Jonesy. Jonesy the cat lived out his remaining days in mysterious circumstances, and perhaps from time to time his mind drifted to memories of that tough lady that rescued him from the horror of the Nostromo and that slimy, toothy xenomorph that brought about the grisly end of some other people he knew.


Independence Day

ID4 Dog In Peril.jpgThe “dog in peril” is one of the most specious of Hollywood movie scenarios in non-rated-R fare. The filmmakers are not going to kill this fictional, innocent dog; too many audience members would be horrified, and the narrative would be overwhelmed by the tragedy.

There are of course exceptions. The noble martyr dog (Turner and Hooch, The Beastmaster, etc.) and the sorry-but-this-story-takes-a-very-sad-turn dog (Old Yeller, Marley & Me, etc.) come to mind first. Neither of those dog types will be discussed further in this column.

Even as we viewers can assure ourselves with the knowledge that the dog is absolutely safe, certain movies still trot out the old “dog in peril” from time to time, and the mere concept of that dog being harmed might manage to sneak up on you and tug at your heartstrings.

Boomer the dog took center stage in Independence Day, as he leapt safely away in an underground traffic tunnel from the gigantic fireball that the aliens dropped on the city of Los Angeles. (Aside: I live in Los Angeles, and I am now wondering where that lengthy tunnel was supposed to be.) It was easy to roll one’s eyes at that scene; the dramatic beats, culminating in Boomer’s last-second leap with a backdrop of flame, were so beyond melodramatic that Boomer’s safety should not have been in doubt. (Of course, in contrast with Boomer, Independence Day had no qualms about depicting the leveling of entire densely populated American cities and the deaths of characters portrayed by lovable Harry Connick, Jr., Mary McDonnell, Brent Spiner, and Randy Quaid.)

Boomer was not my most urgent concern. My question is: where were all the other dogs of America? Aliens are about to destroy your home. What do you save first? Most people would grab the family dog when applicable. However, the ragtag group of American survivors had a noticeable dearth of accompanying dogs. I know not everyone has a pet, but there must have been a few pet owners, right? Boomer was there, but where were Boomer’s brethren?

Did the aliens fear the overwhelming loyalty of the canine species as a galvanizing force for human resistance and wipe them out with some sort of dog death ray, perhaps by way of a deadly alien dog whistle? Did every single dog owner go back for their pets, only to find that their pets had panicked at the sight of the alien spacecraft? During the delayed task of catching and calming their dogs, did all the dog owners then perish in the explosion?

Perhaps all the dogs were wiser than their owners. Perhaps they had a precognitive sense of danger that humans lacked, akin to their early awareness of imminent earthquakes. The dogs fled from the city to the country, where they could congregate and form a powerful dog cabal that would serve as a resistance against the alien invaders.

I like that last theory. It seems quite plausible, as we know how seldom a dog in peril is actually in peril.


Dune

Pug of Arrakis.jpgI realize David Lynch’s Dune is not a good movie. I bet many of you have not even seen it. Recently I watched it from start to finish again; I believe that was the first time I had seen the entire film since that first viewing back in 1984. I have a soft spot for it, though. It has its merits: Sting’s hamming it up as Feyd Rautha and that Toto soundtrack are among them.

This viewing left me pondering the royal pet of House Atreides, a pug that accompanied them on their interstellar travels. The Atreides pug was not present in Frank Herbert’s classic novel. No, this pug that stood out amidst the memorable production design as incongruous yet somehow right at home was a creation for the Lynch version. The pug appeared in a few scenes as a happy lapdog and was left unnamed.

When House Harkonnen launched its attack upon the new Arrakis home of House Atreides, chaos ensued. The Atreides family members fell under direct attack. Thank goodness that loyal Gurney Halleck (Patrick Stewart) thought to save the family pet. Of course, Gurney Halleck knew that every man would be needed in the fight, so he went into battle against the Harkonnen invaders with the pug strapped to his chest in some sort of pug bjorn. I hereby nominate the sight of “Jean-Luc Picard” yelling a battle cry with that pug strapped to his chest as the most ridiculous image ever put to film.

That is the last we see of the pug. Did he die in battle strapped to Gurney Halleck’s chest? Did he adapt and find a life in the Arrakis desert? Did a sandworm eat him? Did he return to what was his home after the battle subsided and become a loyal pet to House Harkonnen in order to survive? Pugs are not especially hardy dogs, and that desert air could not be good for a breed that can develop respiration problems.

When Gurney Halleck finally reunited with Paul Atreides, there was no mention of the fate of the family pet. I just want to know what happened to that pug. There was innocence in that pug face that implied to me that the dog was ill-suited for the tumult of Dune.

There is a clear motif in this column: I worry too much about the well-being of fictional animals.

C. Robert Dimitri was too young to remember the first time he saw Alien; it seems like it has always been a part of him. Aliens, however, was his first rated-R movie at the theater. (Thanks, Mom!) Dune was his first PG-13 movie at the theater, courtesy of his older brother. (Thanks, George!) His Independence Day viewing saw the heights of opening night theater madness. A post-movie attempt to humorously drive his car like Will Smith piloted that spacecraft failed to charm the crush that was sitting in the passenger seat. C. ROBERT DIMITRI WILL RETURN IN ENTIRELY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO DETAIL - THE PERSONAL ASSOCIATION EDITION.









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Comments

i'm with you on jonesy. what did happen to that cat? there's an interesting story there.

didn't bother to read the independence day dog part though. don't really know why. i saw the movie after all.

as for dune, it's one of my favorite books and i liked lots of things about the lynch version. however, i don't remember anything about a dog.

Posted by: splinter at April 22, 2011 2:10 PM

As someone whose ex would rule a movie horrible and unwatchable if an animal dies, I cannot endorse this 'think piece' :P

Posted by: Protoguy at April 22, 2011 2:14 PM

Let's not forget Korben Dallas' cross-eyed cat in The Fifth Element, who seems to exist for no other purpose than to allow Bruce Willis to carry on dialogue with himself in his tiny apartment (which with its multitude of drawers and automatic systems is awesome and how I want to live).

Posted by: LEROOOY at April 22, 2011 2:26 PM

Also Doc Brown's loveable Einstein, who gets no credit whatsoever for being an unwitting guinea pig who could have easily been vaporized into oblivion in the name of science. He does eventually prove to be the smartest member of the trio, however, as when Libyans show up with automatic weapons and rocket launchers, the dog is nowhere to be seen.

Posted by: LEROOOY at April 22, 2011 2:32 PM

I was always partial to the rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. OK, so not technically a pet, since it had large pointy teeth and could rip your head off.

Posted by: BWeaves at April 22, 2011 2:44 PM

*SPOILER ALERT*

One of the reasons NO ONE in our household will ever see "I am Legend" is because of what happens to the German Shepherd.
Specious scenario indeed.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 22, 2011 2:46 PM

LEROOOY >> Aforementioned significant other also suggested Einstein, and she was also concerned about his vaporization. I was fairly confident that Doc Brown had done his calculations correctly, particularly given his confidence in asserting that Einstein was about to become the first time traveler. I did wonder, though, if Doc Brown had any of the same sort of messy experimental mishaps that Seth Brundle experienced with that first baboon in The Fly. Did Doc Brown try putting a mouse in the time machine first and testing it out in that parking lot? I think we just have to allow some suspension of disbelief with regard to Doc Brown's scientific method.

Great point about Einstein disappearing when the Libyans showed up!

Posted by: C. Robert Dimitri at April 22, 2011 2:51 PM

SPOILERS I Am Legend SPOILERS

BarbadoSlim >> I believe the I Am Legend dog falls under that category of "noble martyr." I agree it is very sad.

END HEARTBREAKING SPOILER

Posted by: DarthCorleone at April 22, 2011 2:54 PM

Ah, and here you have tickled my brain yet again, Dmitri. I have wondered the same thing about every damn one of these animals every time I see these movies! Although, I like to think that the pug was there because some diva actor refused to do the movie unless he could get his dog some spotlight. My money's on Kyle MacLachlan.

Posted by: StoatCat at April 22, 2011 3:48 PM

@ C. Robert Dimitri:

Oh, that poor, poor baboon.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be the Internet's biggest jerkstore and summon Futurama (of the pre-cancellation canon):


Seymour.

*cries*

Posted by: LEROOOY at April 22, 2011 3:50 PM

If I was in Alien Jonesy would have ended up as Alien chow.

Posted by: John W at April 22, 2011 3:53 PM

I think Jones would have lived out its days happy and healthy right up to the end, being fed tidbits and well-supplied with Demon Herb (catnip).

The Atreides Pug? Probably eaten, but I like to think he found a decent home with some Arrakeen family.

Posted by: The Wanderer at April 22, 2011 4:04 PM

My concern in Independence Day was not whether Boomer the disposable dog made it, but how the hell hunormous gas explosion fireballs manage to just slide by the little alcove they hid in. But then, obviously not the only violation of the laws of physics that took place that day.

If you watch the Dune special features you can catch a glimpse of the Atreides pug riding a worm, shield belt on, blasting Harkonnen with his pug-weirding device.

Posted by: Protoguy at April 22, 2011 6:09 PM

That cat was rooting for the Alien who are we kidding?
He spent the remainder of his days working on a functional replica suit and now sits as overlord of new Earth.

As for Einstein, we never heard of Doc Brown's previous dogs Newton, Copernicus and Splat.

Posted by: Odnon at April 22, 2011 6:30 PM

Yet another excellent Think Piece, sir. But to be quite honest with you, I would have a hard time believing you weren't high when this subject initially occurred to you. There isn't anything wrong with that, and no big deal either way, just an observation.

'Aliens' is definitely an awesome film, and undeniably worthy of a discussion like this. From seeing the header picture, I thought you were going to mention Newt as one of the pets, ha ha! You didn't, though. The "significant other" you mention, was that the one who was high, and gave you the idea to write this? It's really not important, a great article regardless of the source.

It's amazing to think that killing off a 'pet' could go be so damaging to a movie that viewer outrage alone can kill its chances at the box office. The nail-biting scene with the heroic dog leap in 'Independence Day' explains a lot about how concern for an animal can obliterate any thought of the destruction of millions of humans when it comes to servicing a screenplay. You don't have to be high to understand that concept, but reflecting on it while you and your significant other were getting wasted probably gave it a lot more significance. A lot of writers get their best insights when they're stoned, so for anyone to judge another one's creative process is pointless.

As for 'Dune', I haven't seen it, but the “Jean-Luc Picard” battle cry scene must be memorable, to say the least! It's easy to imagine watching a film like 'Dune' when you're really toasted and just too damned high to switch to something else, like when you and your whacked-out significant other were tripping your asses off to it. Let's face it, some movies are totally unwatchable unless you're getting fried, so if it made the experience bearable while you and your baked potato significant other were too high to notice, then anyone else choosing to make an issue out of it would only display their own ignorance- pay them no mind.

I'm looking forward to the next Think Piece, and your thought-provoking, drug-saturated ramblings are always welcome. Do not compromise your artistic expression for the sake of pandering to whiny critics who ignore the content of an article and only comment on the mind-altering substances that inspired it- they are not worth the effort.

Posted by: Tony at April 22, 2011 7:47 PM

Thank you for the remarks, all.

Especially you, Tony, although I'm not sure whether I should be flattered or should challenge you to a duel.

Posted by: C. Robert Dimitri at April 23, 2011 12:13 AM

For awhile I tried to follow a TV series called "Invasion," and IIRC the family that was the focus of the show had a little girl and a cat. The cat got out of the house during the hurricane that precipated the alien arrival and the little girl went out in the storm to look for the cat. It's how she saw the lights in the water and became the one person who knew something weird was going on.

I think she rescued the cat, but that was the last we saw of the beast. And I kept watching the series wondering what the hell ever happened to the cat. This pissed me off, that the cat was used as a plot device and then chucked as unceremoniously as Chuck was tossed from "Happy Days" and seldom if ever mentioned again.

"Invasion" was canceled after about a dozen shows and it deserved it, although Kari Matchett in a tank top made it worth watching.

Posted by: , at April 23, 2011 1:26 AM

I'm completely biased and can still watch Dune and be enthralled, and no, not by Sting's abs of polished wood. The books are amazing and that is enough to lend the film some of that patina of awesomeness despite Lynch's need to trip balls with every film.

An awesomeness that has no CG ;)
Unfortunately, those non CG worms are one of the weakest parts of the film. The scenes of 'folding space' work much better, if you don't mind giant vagina-mouthed slugs sno-ballin space-sperm to create said 'folded space'.

Similar to watching Excalibur, there's a weird mix of amazing and cheesy, and similar to Excalibur, a great example of Patrick Stewart, pre-TNG, being awesome as Gurney Halleck.

Posted by: Protoguy at April 23, 2011 3:01 AM

Sting's abs were amazing, weren't they, mesmerizing even.

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at April 23, 2011 8:15 AM

The dog in "I am Legend" wasn't just a "noble martyr", his loving owner had to be responsible for *SPOILER* killing it. I went into that movie prepared for the scene but I still had to pause the movie to cry my little eyes out.

Comma, I also wondered about the cat in "Invasion". Bastards. Although the show was worth watching for William Fichtner if nothing else.

Posted by: snapnhiss at April 23, 2011 9:17 AM

Old Yeller. 'Nuff said.

Posted by: James S at April 23, 2011 2:34 PM

Pajiba, you read my mind. This is a fun article. I like to imagine Jonesy as a hero.

Posted by: ssarah at April 23, 2011 9:11 PM

I dunno, every time I watch the movie I'm thinking she's the dumbest person in the universe for going back for that cat.

Newt, maybe.

Maybe

Posted by: Protoguy at April 24, 2011 5:23 AM

I can't believe anyone is wondering about the Atriedes pug, as it's fate was obvious. A veteran like Gurney Halleck knows that, if you're going to fight an enemy in a desert wasteland filled with giant, man-eating, vagina-mouthed worms, you need all the protein sources you can get.

Posted by: russmunki at April 24, 2011 8:41 AM

I think I need to take a closer look at my vagina.

Posted by: snapnhiss at April 24, 2011 12:30 PM

That pug was the whole reason behind the aggression of the Harkonnens, having used up all of their own in producing the Baron's favourite black goop...
pug juice.

Posted by: Falstaff at April 24, 2011 2:35 PM

I'm a rabid cat lover and I would crawl through fire for my cat. So, I thought Ripley most definitely should have gone back for Jonesy. I've always wondered whatever happened to that cat.

Posted by: Lexana at April 24, 2011 10:37 PM

You left out an important pet (well, more important than that Pug, which was obviously given as a gift to the smugglers Gurney and his survivors ended up hiding with) from the movie Dune:

That freakish, hairless Cat in a funky terrarium that they handed to Thufir Hawat. Milk the cat and you don't die from the poison we've fed you, Thufir.

Granted the Pug had a far better end, acting as ablative armour for a scottish madman is a death almost guaranteed to earn the little fella a spot by the hearth in Valhalla. We should all be so lucky... that's how I want to go, bulgy eyed and strapped to a howling scotsman.

Posted by: Wintermute at April 24, 2011 11:13 PM

No you're wrong Colonel Sanders. Dune was fucking awesome.

Posted by: Salad Is Murder at April 25, 2011 7:00 AM

If you need a second opinion, snapnhiss, I'm here for ya ;P

I might run into my burning house for my dog or cat, but an eight foot alien with acid for blood and two dagger filled mouths, oh and don't forget, a tail that would make Vlad jealous? Jonesy's gonna get the Meg/Poltergeist episode treatment, no question.

Posted by: Protoguy at April 25, 2011 7:29 AM

I am not sure what to make of all this

Posted by: fax marketing at May 10, 2011 2:06 PM