Can We Talk? Ben Affleck's Bat Nipples Edition

By Howie Decker | Think Pieces | November 20, 2013 |

By Howie Decker | Think Pieces | November 20, 2013 |

Kevin Smith: Can We Talk?

Kevin, can I see your phone? I know, I’m sure there was a full-scale visual gag order in effect when you got to see a picture of Ben Affleck in the Batsuit he’ll wear in the Man of Steel sequel, but there’s no way you didn’t snap a quick pic while Zack Snyder wasn’t looking, right?

I’m dying to see what Affleck looked like in the suit, so we can all blog about it and post on Facebook about how his look isn’t/is right for the part and how he’s going to ruin everything/kick ass as Batman. You say the suit “has no nipples,” which is great, but I feel like that should be a given at this point. Does anyone expect a post-Schumacher Batsuit to have nipples?

You said “For a comic book fan it was mind-bending” which had better not be sideways talk for “It reminded me of Dr. Mindbender, who G.I. Joe fans will recall wears no shirt, purple pants and metal suspenders”. Nah, there’s no way. There’s NO way, right? Although, would anyone be surprised by a shirtless Batman in a Zack Snyder film? 



Oxford Dictionary: Can We Talk?

I know lots of people will take issue with your choice for the Oxford Dictionary 2013 Word of the Year, but that’s not my beef. The 2010 Word of the Year was ‘refudiate’, so you’ve trained us to manage our expectations. I just wanted to highlight something I saw on your blog.

Regarding the word ‘selfie’, you said this:

Its linguistic productivity is already evident in the creation of numerous related spin-off terms showcasing particular parts of the body like helfie (a picture of one’s hair) and belfie (a picture of one’s posterior); a particular activity - welfie (workout selfie) and drelfie (drunken selfie), and even items of furniture - shelfie and bookshelfie.

OK, ‘helfie’, ‘belfie’, ‘welfie’ and ‘drelfie’ pass the sniff test because they are still pictures of oneself or parts of oneself in various situations. But a ‘bookshelfie’ is just A PICTURE OF A BOOKSHELF. Just because the word ‘bookshelf’ ends in -elf doesn’t mean it belongs in the ‘selfie’ family tree of words. I can’t believe I’m arguing semantics with a dictionary. There’s no way I’m going to win.

Network television executives: Can We Talk?

What happened? We all know how far NBC Thursday nights have fallen from grace, and believe me, I’m not ascribing one network’s failures to every active television executive. Except I am.
I know there are a ton of entertainment options these days. There are hundreds of cable channels on TV now, video games are more mainstream than ever, and the American television isn’t the sole family gathering spot anymore. Even the families that do sit in front of a TV set together are just as likely to be individually checking their phones than collectively watching a program, but here’s an idea: win us back. The Cosby Show used to pull in 30 million households a week. I’m not asking you to pump out another Cosby Show, because I’m realistic, but give us something. I refuse to believe The Big Bang Theory is the best you can do, and I’m actually a fan of the show.

There’s some talk of turning Drew Magary’s book Someone Could Get Hurt into a sitcom. Do this, and don’t screw it up. Please. That kind of humor could make for a great show. Also, get Hannibal Buress his own show, he deserves better than a web series. I’m willing to bet the commenters on this site are capable of pitching a full slate of new show ideas for next season, and even the ones pitched in sarcasm would be better than most of the tired old series concepts we’re getting these days.

Howie Decker (@HowardTheDeck) is the publisher of UnderScoopFire, a site that has decided today should be ‘1985 Day’.