Blaming Curses For Addiction, Possible Mental Illness, and Finding God? Charlie Sheen Still Thinks He’s Winning
Another star meltdown was captured on video and then uploaded to the mewling, drooling masses. This time “Two And A Half Men” star Angus T. Jones was the unlikely prophet sent to warn us about the dangers of a sitcom he had worked on for nine years. The problem was that we already knew “Two And A Half Men” was a shit show and an abomination unto Hollywood Jebus. Let us know when you have an epiphany about how to get rid of Donald Trump and then we’ll care. Since 19-year-old Jones cited his religious awakening as the reason he can now see clearly, many people cried that he was the next Kirk Cameron, destined to dine on a lonely Subway buffet while his People look on, disinterested.
Of course, today Jones has come out to say that he really didn’t think that calling the show that has made him a multi-millionaire a piece of filth should have been taken as a barb to his employers. “I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed,” Jones concludes. “I never intended that.”
Never one to be outshined when he sniffs a chance to pop into the slimy spotlight, Charlie “Boats And Hos” Sheen has decided to release a statement about his former co-star’s rant. “With Angus’s Hale-Bopp-like meltdown, it is radically clear to me that the show is cursed,”. Yes, yes. Clearly the show is cursed and snorting cocaine off the assholes of former Playmates while chugging barrels filled with whiskey are unrelated to Sheen’s own attack on the show runners, his ex-wife, that prostitute that allegedly stole his wallet, and his declaration of fixing himself with his own mind. You guys, it’s the only explanation!
There is no way that young Jones just realized that the life he was likely pushed into by his parents wasn’t what he wanted. It couldn’t be that a kid that’s been working with a tiger blood psychotic like Charlie Sheen since he was 10 decided that the show and the questionable morality of the storylines were not something he cared to be connected to any longer. It has to be a curse. No 19-year-old kid trying to figure out who he is might stumble into religion and then decide that his newfound morals are worth more to him than a six-figure per episode paycheck. It has to be the curse. Once again, Charlie Sheen has grabbed our faces and shoved them into the truth of his terrestrial realm. We should feel favored that he would deign to lead us into enlightenment.
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