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An Open Letter to Kevin Smith

By Courtney Enlow | Posted Under Think Pieces | Comments (43)



Kevin-Smith-holding-camer-001.jpg

*extends hand in the general vicinity of Smith’s nose* Friend. Friend.

Heeyyy, buddy. Rough couple weeks. Were there a non-condescending way to pat one’s head and say “there, there,” I’d do it.

In the past few weeks, there’s been a cultural shift in the way blogs speak of you. Deadline, in a post seemingly by the dad from the Twisted Sister videos, was deeply offended and irritated by your lack of commitment to the Sparkle Motion of Sundance etiquette. EW pondered, “To put it in one of Smith’s beloved geek-friendly Star Wars metaphors, is he defying the Darth Vader of studios — or simply joining them to help rule the indie movie galaxy?”

First, allow me to dry off from the enormous splash of geek condescension washed upon me. You’re better than that, EW.

Second, I think it’s fairly clear you are not attempting to take over the film world through sheer chutzpah and a side of crazy sauce. As you say yourself, you’re simply returning to your roots of 1993 — when you were a proper indie filmmaker.

In the indie film era of the early ’90s, indie could still be independent. “Indie” didn’t mean at least one Hollywood star needed to get the thing bought and paid for; “indie” didn’t mean the inevitable purchase from a major studio, thereby eliminating the “indie” influence all together from the moment “cut” is called and the actors cash their $2,000 checks to give way to the millions for the studios.

Ultimately, those writing about you, those bashing you, those who don’t get it, they just don’t fucking get it. Now, this of course does not include the online community and blogosphere as a whole. There are those who get it, they just don’t like it or you. But the newer predominant attitude in online journalism appears to be one of utter confusion. As one pervasive example, every article makes mention of the term “profanity-laden” with a grandiose pearl clutch as though they didn’t expect that of you.

They also call you fat a lot. You have in many ways caused this by being so vocal about your zaftig-ness, but it’s not like they constantly refer to “the large-foreheaded Quentin Tarantino” or “the increasingly orange David Fincher.”

For your entire career, you’ve been loved and lauded as the man who didn’t play the game. When you did play the game and attempted to make a sweet PG-13 flick about a man and his daughter, they didn’t want it. When you played the game and made a buddy cop film, they hated it. Now, you’re doing it yourself, by your own rules, and they don’t get it.

It would seem the mythical “they” would really appreciate if you were to change the very thing they celebrated back when it was okay to do so, and when that didn’t work, be it on Jersey Girl, be it on Cop Out, be it on the financial failure of Zack and Miri, they can’t understand how you would want to try a different way. More accurately, how it could be this way: the way that doesn’t make them lots of money (the studios), or the way they feel you’re supposed to want to make money (the journalists).

Again, they don’t get it. They don’t get you. Luckily, you are able to explain and defend yourself better than your highest praisers.

For the record, as someone whose day job is as a dreaded marketing and PR person, I happen to think it’s awesome. This is real marketing. This isn’t phony shillery.

There is, however, one area I didn’t understand as I’ve watched this unfold.

Once upon a SModcast, you said something very telling. You referred to yourself as “the boy who made Clerks” then caught yourself, saying you’re no longer a boy, what with the fact, at this point, you were approaching 40. And I think that solved it for me.

For many, fame causes a form of arrested development, wherein the person in question will stagnate in some aspect from the moment they achieved their personal greatness. In many ways, despite marriage, a child, and professional growth along the way, you are still the same person you were in 1994. And that’s long been part of your charm.

You have fans who love you, who would lay down in traffic for you, who would take a slapshot to the goddamn sack for you, and there are those who can’t understand why that would be enough. Sometimes, in the darkest hours, it seems like it isn’t. You have always been the fat funny guy from Jersey, the one who managed to stay fairly normal through all the wealth, accolades and Bennifer. But perhaps the George Lucas Condition — the inability to hear “no” or anything negative, or possibly the complete lack of people in your world to do so — is inescapable, and, at best, hopefully temporary.

I don’t think you’ve snapped — not even a little. I think when one is loved like you’re loved, hate is harder. I’ve long railed against the ramifications of fame in this little soapbox I call a column (when I’m not talking about Snooki), and I feel no one, not even you, is impervious. To me, maybe you noticed it. Maybe you caught yourself. And maybe that’s why, not unlike Randal with “porch monkey,” you’re taking it back.

I hope this four-walling approach restores you to the comfort of the beforetimes, before critics were the enemy. Embrace the critics. Ignore the inane, try not to be disheartened by the bad, and love the good. Do this mostly because I would give my left tit to read Armond White’s Red State review. For your harsher critics, you’ve done their work: you call yourself fat once a minute, you sing your small cock electric, and — I would imagine somewhat disingenuously — you have on many occasions called yourself a bad filmmaker. And you’re not. Your writing has just always been the star. I am to understand Red State shows more. And I, for one, will be there when it rolls into the Harris Theater.

While at times confusing in an “I don’t understand what you are saying” / “what is kiss?” way, it’s pretty goddamn cool you’re trying something different, something honest, something real. And you probably don’t need my reassurance — you’ve gotten every ounce of the advertising you wanted already, and that probably beats the mildly hurtful words of bloggers and journalists whose dollar you weren’t getting anyway. So, with that, *pats head* there, there. Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke — specifically yours.









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Comments

Did I mention how much I love these open letters? they are pretty much fantastic.

Posted by: Blank at January 27, 2011 2:14 PM

Fan-fcuking-Tastic!

Posted by: RS3Feed at January 27, 2011 2:23 PM

You’re better than that, EW.

No, they really aren't.

Posted by: TylerDFC at January 27, 2011 2:27 PM

All kinds of awesome.

Posted by: THE Sofía at January 27, 2011 2:29 PM

“The Increasingly Orange David Fincher.”

Best. Band. Name. Ever.

Posted by: JustBill at January 27, 2011 2:29 PM

The post I've been waiting for someone to write.

Posted by: Angeleno Ewok at January 27, 2011 2:41 PM

JustBill: I play guitar and sing. You wouldn't happen to play and sing, too, would you? How many other Pajibans do you think we could recruit to your new band, The Increasingly Orange David Fincher?

Posted by: Jelinas at January 27, 2011 2:48 PM

Well said, sir.

Posted by: BE at January 27, 2011 2:59 PM

Jelinas: I sing, and can play keyboard some. I'm envisioning TIODF as a sort of psychedelic death metal band with twinges of the Monkees. Perhaps a new genre even: Jangle Death.

Posted by: JustBill at January 27, 2011 3:03 PM

"You're better than that, EW"

Actually, they're really not.

Posted by: Gareth at January 27, 2011 3:05 PM

Love the open letters and Kevin Smith. He's an ornery fat man but I love him.

Posted by: staceygarrett at January 27, 2011 3:06 PM

Fuck yes, Courtney. Despite the fact that KS is pretty big time (fat joke not intended, but recognized), he still seems like he would be a blast to hang out and have a real talk with. He's amazing. I saw one of his "lectures" a couple years ago. He gets up on stage, people ask him questions and he just talks for 4 hours. Badass. I admire his commitment to do what he loves, despite people being the way people are (sucky). He encounters shit and still does it his own way. If anyone deserves to follow their dreams of making movies, smoking weed while watching Gretzky documentaries, and licking his wife's asshole, it's Kevin fucking Smith.

Posted by: MeganTheFirst at January 27, 2011 3:14 PM

Say what you will about Kevin Smith, but he's entertaining as fuck when he talks about movies. And his beef about paying more to sell the movie to people who won't go watch it than it cost to make in the first place is dead on. Marketing costs a fuckload of money (for now, fortunately for me and the people I work for). Unfortunately, a lot of marketing is concerned with selling to the "mainstream" (ie, as large a number of people as possible), as well as catering to various business interests. It sucks the life right out of a lot of artistic endeavors. Not saying every movie starts out as art and ends up as shit (some start out really shitty to begin with), but I can understand how it would bother somebody to work their ass off on a movie and see it fucked up by the studio, or see it torpedoed by shitty marketing.

Posted by: Slash at January 27, 2011 3:23 PM

Oh I get it now, Smith is being shit-canned by all the studios in the world. There’s a super secret vendetta to run Smith out of the business. You can’t make Jersey Girl and Cop Out then blame the critics or the studio or the marketing department for your failures. You want to do your podcast and your meet and greet gimmicks, well then do them. Smith is nothing more than a poser, he starts out as an indie, but when the indie well dried up he has no problem running to the studios begging for help. Now that the studios have figured out that he’s nothing but a waste of time and money, he goes out and start to bash the studios. Personally I’m glad he wants to do things on his own terms, only now he can no longer blame anyone else.

Posted by: Pookie at January 27, 2011 4:09 PM

A very brief open letter to Courtney Enlow:

My constant frustration with writing on the internet is that it lacks vim, vigor, verve, vorticism...er..other v words...va va va voom; your writing lacks none of those virtues. In fact, "you sing your small cock electric" may be one of the best phrases I've read. Not just for the rhythm of it, which is perfect, but for the Whitman crib--Whitman being one of the original self promoters, which I'm sure you knew. So, well done, O good and faithful pop culture servant: your craft doesn't go unnoticed.

Posted by: Brian Wilkins at January 27, 2011 4:34 PM

Pookie still doesn't get it.....

Posted by: TheRealOcto at January 27, 2011 4:44 PM

Great article. I found myself saying "Exactly!" multiple times.

Posted by: Chris at January 27, 2011 4:50 PM

I really like Kevin Smith. I would never say he is one of my favorite directors.

He doesn't seem to have a lot of real-world common sense...but that is part of what makes his podcasts freakin hilarious. And at least he has heart.

Oh and Pookie, many other directors who have made incredibly shitty movies are not "shit-canned" by the studios or the critics. So there goes that theory.

Posted by: Ajoy at January 27, 2011 6:06 PM

@Brian Wilkins
I submit to the thought... verisimilitude
And viva Ray Bradbury. ;)

Posted by: Ms MoMo at January 27, 2011 7:03 PM

@JustBill: OOOH, jangledeath!!!! Sounds promising!!

When should we practice? I do still live with my parents, but we live in California, so we don't have a basement. And we're Korean, so our garage is packed to the gills with old Happy Meal toys and extra parts from old Ikea furniture that died long ago.

Posted by: Jelinas at January 27, 2011 7:35 PM

TheRealOcto:

There is nothing to get, Smith is an overrated obnoxious hack that revels playing the victim card whenever a critic pans one of his movies. Maybe if Smith spent more time honing his craft instead of looking for new ways to call out critics he’d be a better director.


Ajoy:

Ajoy you are right most directors that make shitty movies aren’t shit canned by the studios, the studios just choose to go in a different direction. Happy?


Posted by: Pookie at January 27, 2011 7:55 PM

Pookie...two words.

Michael Bay.

That is all.

Posted by: Blank at January 27, 2011 8:10 PM

I too wish that Smith can find a happy medium. I don't see the benefit in setting out to make more enemies just because you have a few. There are far too many people that either like what he does, or can approach it with an open mind. At the very least, there are a tonne of media outlets that would appreciate and benefit from being able to interview Smith. I hope he doesn't completely snub them.

Posted by: Steve at January 27, 2011 10:22 PM

I would not normally think I could contribute to a band, but one dubbed The Increasingly Orange David Fincher definately could use the services of a cellist...

Posted by: general rhubarb at January 27, 2011 11:28 PM

Pookies gonna Pook!

Posted by: John G. at January 28, 2011 1:32 AM

“the increasingly orange David Fincher.”

HAH.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 28, 2011 4:47 AM

And, uh, yeah, I play guitar, so I'm down with the whole band idea.

Especially if the genre is at least 65% Jangle Death.

Then maybe 20% calypso.

Aaaand the remaining 15% is just samples and loops of foreboding musical cues from Fincher's movies.

Posted by: zeke the pig at January 28, 2011 4:53 AM

Kevin Smith have proven over and over again that he is a terrible director. His movies are really, really bad. Embarrassingly bad.

If I hear someone say that they are a fan of Kevin Smith(who am I fooling? I never hear that) I know that person is an ignorant douche bag with atrocious taste in movies.

Posted by: Horace at January 28, 2011 6:34 AM

@future band members: I sing & dance and will be your hot back-up girl. Will provide my own pleather and go-go boots.

Posted by: cinekat at January 28, 2011 6:40 AM

Great post. I have to admit that anytime, anywhere I see "An open letter to..." I expect a huge serving of lameness. I got none of it this time. Cheers.

Posted by: JohnnyBee at January 28, 2011 8:32 AM

"When you did play the game and attempted to make a sweet PG-13 flick about a man and his daughter, they didn’t want it. When you played the game and made a buddy cop film, they hated it."

There is no conspiracy against Kevin Smith. "They" hate his movies because the dude MAKES SHITTY MOVIES.

Posted by: Dave Frankel at January 28, 2011 10:56 AM

When "No Strings Attached" tops the box office, I think the American public have lost the right to argue over what makes a shitty movie.

Posted by: Bwakathaboom at January 28, 2011 12:03 PM

@Pookie:

If you can provide me a link to your IMDB page where I can compare and contrast your efforts in comparison to Mr Smiths work I would be much obliged and more likely to take your comments about "honing his craft" and "be a better Director" more seriously.

You don't have an IMDB profile? You've never directed so much as a commercial never mind a feature flick?

Welll I for one am shocked!!!


Mocking aside, you still don't seem to understand the very basics of what Kevin Smith did at Sundance.

The Auction wasn't simply a publicity stunt, but more of a well thought out plan to get the same bunch of studios/distributors who wanted nothing to do with the making of Red State.... but who would be more than happy to buy it off him and then profit from it, all in the same room and then, give them a large metaphorical middle finger with the news that he and Jon Gordon would self distribute.

REMEMBER, there were a bunch of studios/distributors at that Red State Screening purely to buy the film, and there had been several behind the scenes offers made before the screening was even shown, so your idea that Smith has been shit canned by all the studios is direly inaccurate.

Whether Kevin Smith makes shitty movies or great movies is purely subjective.

The fact is that Kevin Smith makes Kevin Smith movies.

No one gives a fuck about what the narrow minded jealous folks who get off on crapping on people who are eternally smarter, funnier and more successful than them, actually think.

The more you bitch about people like Kevin Smith, the more you come across as being bitter because you failed at life.

Posted by: TheRealOcto at January 28, 2011 2:01 PM

TheRealOcto:


1) Let’s go to the tape shall we. Jersey Girl, Zack and Miri, CopOut…….there


2) “No one gives a fuck about what the narrow minded jealous folks who get off on crapping on people who are eternally smarter, funnier and more successful than them, actually think.”

Actually that’s not correct Octo, Smith cares very much about what someone says about his product, namely the less smarter, funnier, and less successful critics.

3) “The Auction wasn't simply a publicity stunt, but more of a well thought out plan to get the same bunch of studios/distributors who wanted nothing to do with the making of Red State.... but who would be more than happy to buy it off him and then profit from it, all in the same room and then, give them a large metaphorical middle finger with the news that he and Jon Gordon would self distribute.”


Oh, so the Auction was really a Machiavellian plot by Smith to lure those unsuspecting one hundred year old multi billion dollar corporations into a room so he could bring them to their knees by telling them that he and some guy named Jon are going to self distribute their own movie?

4) “The more you bitch about people like Kevin Smith, the more you come across as being bitter because you failed at life.”

Why TheRealOcto that’s what we do here. We bitch and moan about movies, actors, directors and anything else we can get our crummy little hands on. That’s why Pajiba has a comment section, so all of us that have failed at life have a place to congregate and commiserate.

Now, I’m very glad that Smith has decided to strike out on his own so he can deliver unto his fans his movies the way he wants to. And when his movie rolls into town you all can not only purchase an overpriced movie ticket due to the fact that his overhead is going to be astronomically high because of the circus he‘s coming with, you all can also purchase his t-shirts and mugs, and his backpacks. Hell, it’s the Grateful Dead all over again.


Posted by: Pookie at January 28, 2011 7:31 PM

I'm no failure for having diverging tastes or for any other reason. Don't pull those parlor room deceptions out of this top hat.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at January 28, 2011 8:31 PM

Blank: Michael Bay is the number one person I had in mind when I responded to Pookie....but then again he makes money.

Posted by: Ajoy at January 28, 2011 8:32 PM

Whip out your IMDB page? Seriously?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2011/01/james-marsh-on-kevin-smith-whats-his-fking-problem

Marsh sums it up nicely. Fun to hang out with? Sure. So's my mailman

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at January 29, 2011 12:47 AM

Aww Pookie.

OK.

1. You just mentioned the 3 films that most folk like to pick on. Although I love them they are admittedly not my favourite Kevin Smith films.

But every time people talk about those flicks they magically forget about Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and Clerks 2 which also means that they magically forget that Kevin Smith has made more great films, than he has made arguably poor films.

Actually, no, that's not correct. What it means is that the folks who like to bitch about Kevin Smith these days forget that they liked more Kevin Smith movies than they disliked in the past. But it's now hip and cool to rag on Kevin Smith so they forget those great films and continue to try look cool on the internet by complaining about how talentless Kevin Smith is. (despite secretly liking more of the movies he has made rather than dislike...)

So, whats your point? That because Kevin Smith made some movies that a bunch of people didn't like, that he should no longer be allowed to make movies?

Give me a break.

The bottom line is that for every person who hates Kevin Smith movies, there are hundreds more, maybe thousands even, who actually do like his movies, EVEN Jersey Girl! However, Kevin Smith fans at large have nothing to prove and have no vendetta against Smith and so the bitchy reviews on will sometimes outweigh the positive.

2. There was indeed a point where Kevin Smith actually cared. But that was a long time ago. It's all in the past. He admitted, he can't be that guy anymore. But that was never my point.

My point was that free thinking people in general, don't give a fuck what the bitchy pseudo intellectual types have to say, which is why I personally don't read reviews, don't subscribe to any movie critic blogs, because I'd rather make up my own mind about if I think a movie is good or bad than get told second hand from some virgin who lives in his parents basement all bitter and twisted about being a failed movie maker mean while, that fat fuck Kevin Smith is loaded, still making films and porking his gorgeous wife in the ass in Hollywood.....that must really sting and those reasons alone only provide more evidence of why Kevin Smith just doesn't care!

3. I liked the way I said it better, but yes.

4. It appears, despite your insistence otherwise....you still don't get it.


@Uncle Mikey

James Marsh is just pissed off because he has won an Oscar and yet Kevin Smith is still infinitely more famous than him......I honestly never knew who he was until you posted that link.

Mr Marsh should be kissing Kevin Smiths ass now because one more person in the world actually knows who he is.....

Posted by: TheRealOcto at January 29, 2011 7:42 AM

1) The bottom line is that for every person who hates Kevin Smith movies, there are hundreds more, maybe thousands even, who actually do like his movies, EVEN Jersey Girl! However, Kevin Smith fans at large have nothing to prove and have no vendetta against Smith and so the bitchy reviews on will sometimes outweigh the positive.”


Hundreds huh!


2) “My point was that free thinking people in general, don't give a fuck what the bitchy pseudo intellectual types have to say, which is why I personally don't read reviews, don't subscribe to any movie critic blogs, because I'd rather make up my own mind about if I think a movie is good or bad than get told second hand from some virgin who lives in his parents basement all bitter and twisted about being a failed movie maker mean while, that fat fuck Kevin Smith is loaded, still making films and porking his gorgeous wife in the ass in Hollywood.....that must really sting and those reasons alone only provide more evidence of why Kevin Smith just doesn't care!”


Are you saying that a fat guy that porks his gorgeous wife in the ass can’t make shitty movies? And what does him porking his gorgeous wife in the ass have to do with anything?


Trust me Octo, Smith cares and he cares deeply. If he didn’t care he wouldn’t have given the middle finger to the studios/distributors. More importantly I’m trying to figure out why do you care so much. It seems as if you’re living vicariously through Smith, so every slight he feels real or imagined you feel it too. Octo you need to go outside and get some fresh air, get out there and see the world. You’ll feel better, leave this mean old movie stuff alone. Let guys like me and Rowles handle it, we were built for this shit.

Posted by: Pookie at January 29, 2011 10:12 AM

Pookie: It seems that you STILL just don't get it (or don't want to get it) and if that's the case, you probably never will.

That my friend is your loss.

And hell, I would rather live my live vicariously through someone as successful as Kevin Smith than have to resort to trolling online and still only accquire a some kind of vapid, hollow existence.

Would be nice however if you and your kind would stop posting subjective comments like they are hard unarguable facts..... it's a highly unbecoming trait to possess.

Posted by: TheRealOcto at January 29, 2011 12:55 PM

Octo there is really nothing to get, you think Smith is one thing and I think he's something totally different.

Posted by: Pookie at January 29, 2011 8:01 PM

Pretty sure the aforementioned proportion goes the other way, but I defend your right to rhapsodize over a talentless hack whose self-image is as delusional as his fans.

Posted by: Uncle Mikey at January 29, 2011 9:44 PM

WHHHYYYYYY PAJIBA, why must you force me to confront my own contradictions???? Why is the face of my life's hypocrisy sporting a beard framed by a Devils Sweater? sigh.

Time for the admission: I can't love Kevin Smith anymore. He was the smartest sassiest funniest voice of my generation. But because -as you so intuitively state "fame causes a form of arrested development," the 1994 Kevin Smith no longer works for me and it makes me feel like my generation has been abandoned.

If it had been abandoned for a pick up hockey game on the roof of a Circle K, I could forgive, but unfortunately, it looks instead like someone just put gum in the lock.

I needed Kevin to grow while still keeping his eye on being able to point out what is wrong in mainstream. I needed more Dogma, less s*ck and f*ck.

37 indeed.

Posted by: JuiceinLA at January 31, 2011 8:17 PM