Pajiba

The trailer looks like another nameless movie of people who have acting skills of a porn actor/actress, but enough morals to not actually do porn. Yet. :p

"Them bitches are crackwhore zombies?" Best line ever? Perhaps. Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! looks good. But, I'm more partial to Zombie Strippers. I think there will be better character developement and our protagonists will learn something a little more redeeming. Not to mention, Zombie Strippers are just, over-all, more appealing than Zombie Crackwhore. But it would be a good fight to see on a Frankenstein v. Wolfman level. I will be the ref. TK can do the ringside play-by-play. Live. This July on Pay Per View!

I am exhausted. That is all.

oh. dear. godtopus.

This is when being in Australia and not getting movies until months after the US release gets really depressing. There is just no prospect of anything good showing up, except maybe Sarah Marshall and I'm pretty sure that's already showing or else coming very soon. For the rest? Pure sucktitude for the next, say, 4 months or so.

When do the zombies come? I was going to say 'I want to kill myself' but I'm thinking maybe the zombies could make it a more interesting process...

Mr. Rowles reviewing a movie is one thing, but doing it in a derogatory and demeaning way to women is not what I signed up for. When will these neanderthal views die out. Sir, I've seen your work from the moment I walked through the doors here at pajiba and it is outstanding. Women are our most valuable treasure, we should strive to treat them that way.

". . . and Prom Night will be on its fourth remake, now a G-rated, 3-D, animated version (in Smellovision!) that will eschew violence. The killer, instead, will murder everyone with kindness and hugs. . ."

Dustin, this was already done by Shakespeare 400 years ago. He called it "The Taming of the Shrew" and it was G-rated, 3-D (live on stage) and in Smellovision (no bathing), and Pettrucio killed Kate with kindness.

Worcester County repra-ZENT.

At first, I thought that Forbidden Kingdom would be fabulous (Jet Li... SQUEEE). Then, I read the plot summary. This one will definitely be a renter.

On a random note, saw Street Kings last night and was pleased to see what Bedhead was talking about. Good on Keanu for learning how to emote.

Do you think Zombies!Zombies!Zombies! will be playing at my local multiplex? Man that chainsaw thru the brain musta hurt. The publicity people for this movie are genius. There's no better way to get the kiddies to the movie than to put "bitches, shit & fuck" in the trailer.

I saw Forbidden Kingdom this weekend. And I did read the reviews before going. While I understand the negative view of the movie, the hate on the white hero, and the vapidness of the plot...it was still enjoyable. Not in a "OMIGAWD JET LI AND JACKIE CHAN ACTION THRILLER SQUEE!!1!" kind of way, but in a low-brow, kungfu B-movie kind of way. Of course, after reading the review...I deliberately went in with low expectations...and was pleasantly surprised to find I enjoyed myself. My friend, who went in high expectations (see above), was very disappointed...although after discussing it, he agreed that he would have enjoyed it more if he had gone in expecting as I did.

21 still holds no interest for me, 88 Minutes seems just as overdone as ever, Prom Night looks like something I'd watch as I slashed my wrists to nub the pain. I am curious about Forgetting Sarah Marshall...I love Mila and Jason.

hmmmm, the movie scene has been a bit bleak lately hasn't it?

will probably try to catch a matinee of Sarah Mashall as I have loved Jason Segel ever since Freaks and Geeks and will watch anything he is in

I am desperatly trying to figure out a way to watch that trailer without my boss noticing....

but on the upside, it is Jager Monday!!
(and yes, I am wearing my free Jager T-Shirt underneath my sweater. It makes me feel better about mondays....)

I'm not a kung fu fan at all but some people I saw the movie with were and their excitement over Chan and Li finally meeting in battle sustained me through the whole movie. And yes, Jet Li does pee on Jackie Chan. It's ridiculous and totally out of place but, God help me, I laughed.

I feel like Forgetting Sarah Marshall hasn't had quite as much publicity as Knocked Up or Superbad, for some reason. I went to see it on Saturday and when I asked my friends who if they wanted to see it, the general response was, "What? I've never heard of that." We did see it and we all loved it more than maybe any of the Apatow projects (except Freaks and Geeks, of course) but it was weird no one had heard of it. I doubt it will be at all under the radar for long.

Yet one person felt so inundated by advertising she was refusing to see it. Maybe certain cities have posters plastered on every building and bus shelters or something. I've just seen web ads mostly but I haven't been downtown much either lately. *shrug*

And I haven't seen the billboards more than once or twice, but I have seen the TV commercials quite a bit. Probably because I've been catching up on "South Park" episodes that I missed -- I think they bought up quite a bit of advertising on that show and others in the same demo.

Oh man, the Toronto transit system is absofuckinglutely plastered with "I hate Sarah Marshall" and "Yes you DO look fat in those jeans Sarah Marshall" posters. Plastered! I, too, avoided seeing it because of the adverts. Having heard the positive reviews, I might change my mind.

Apropos of nothing: The top two ads below the banner this morning, one on each side, are for the Butt-Paddler 5000 and an interracial dating website. What the hell kind of careening tack has Pajiba taken when the top two ads are kink-related? (Not that interracial dating = kink, but when one fixates on interracial dating, to the exclusion of other potentially awesome partners, that's kinky.)

And then, down the page, another ad for sustainable bamboo. "Sustainable bamboo," of course, is a euphemism for what's in my pants when a black girl paddles my ass.

Oh man, the Toronto transit system is absofuckinglutely plastered with "I hate Sarah Marshall" and "Yes you DO look fat in those jeans Sarah Marshall" posters. Plastered!

Ah. Well, there we have it. Interesting.

"Sustainable bamboo," of course, is a euphemism for what's in my pants when a black girl paddles my ass.

Spewed coffee all over the place....that was great.

Just wanted to say this:

Zombie Strippers got a positive review by the LA Times this weekend.

Where's our review?

Thanks for the zombies -- made my morning (as I sit in my moshfuck of tedium for another 8 hours -- sorry, just love that one!)

"At the end of the day, most self-respecting people would choose Forgetting Sarah Marshall over Norbit."

You forget the third choice, which is to see neither. Which is exactly what I shall do.

I love really horrible movies (ie Galaxy Invader--look it up, it's awesome) but I can't stand these meh-inducing, mediocre semi-crapfests. The meager smattering of crap in these movies is so pitiful thay shouldn't even qualify as crapfests; they're shartfests--enough crap to disgust, but nowhere near enough to be satisfying.

Though, from what I've heard of Norbit, it's more of a Montezuma's Revenge-fest.

Uh... Are the Zombie Strippers former strippers that have become zombies, or zombies that have decided to go against the norm and strive for lucrative careers as strippers? If the first option is correct, do the strippers continue to strip while zombiefied? I only ask because I like strippers, I love zombies, and the combination of both in a darkened movie theater may result in Reubens-esque shenanigans...

Or, Skitt, are they struggling students at Zombie University, just trying to pay their tuition with a little stripping? Cuz that's the backstory on every stripper I ever talked to.

Speaking of Shakespeare and Zombie Strippers in the same breath, an adult entertainment palace here performed Macbeth in the nude, to get around the anti-nudity law, because if it's a known play, you can do nudity, but if you're just dancing with a pole, you can't.

Also, socalled, one would wonder if they are able to shamble about in stilletto heels. Do they remove the tattered zombie clothes, or do they change into tattered stripper clothes? Between sets, do they shamble over to your table and ask you to buy them a bowl of brains? What exactly goes on in the VIP rooms? These are questions I hope to have answered by this film...

I'm sure that'd get the Bard hard! HEEEYY-OHH!

And where would you stick the dollar bills? In the zombie strippers' gaping wounds? Sex-ay.

Skittimus Punimus

Hee!

Sarah Marshall ads plastered all over San
Francisco transit also.

And, The Forbidden Kingdom was fun, when
accounting for the lowered expectations (see
above). Solid B-Kung-Fu flick.

I shudder to think what a lap dance from a zombie stripper would entail....

well, entrails for one

blood and gore seeping out from beneath too tight spandex
and the girls staring longingly at your head the whole time

not that head, the one with the brains in it (suppossedly)
you people are sick, really

And would you be obligated, during said lap-dance, to give them back the body parts that fall off of them. or would they be considered prizes for you to take home to remember the great time you had?

Question about the VIP room...proper definition of "getting head" ?

I would hope you would get to keep the body parts

kinda like girls get mardi gras beads for flashing their boobs, guys would get severed limbs for getting a lap dance on the 50/50 chance they get bitten in an entirely non sexy way

you know, for bragging rights and all

and guys, if Shadows is right, just stay away from the VIP room
remember: no matter what the stripper tells you, there is no sex in the VIP room (just certain death)

Regardless, you know that the Zombie Stripper joint would rock the fuggin' house with a mid-day "Thriller" number... Other shamble-dance tunes could include "Living Dead Girl", "Monster Mash", and "I Fall to Pieces"...

Shadows, getting head at The Undulating Undead Emporium would involve a gender-reversed Re-Animator situation.

You know nothing makes a trailer like 3 years of "Coming Soon".

I dig the NBA references, Dustin. How ... athletic of you.

I read Andrew Sarris' 88 Minutes review, and it was gawd-awful. This day and age is no place for him.

By the by, Sarris also found time in his old-man schedule to give a thumbs-down review of ... No Country for Old Men. No country, indeed.

getting head at The Undulating Undead Emporium would involve a gender-reversed Re-Animator situation.

Also, there's the whole temperature issue. I hate to be a whiner, but I like a little, um, warmth in that situation. I know rotting flesh can burn off some caloric energy through chemical processes, but that's only going to be a few degrees above room temperature, at best.

I guess what I'm saying is, I left my first wife for a reason.

now socalled, would that be for the lack of warmth, or the overabundance of rotting flesh?

or, Godtopus-forbid, both?

Just the whole "sex with a corpse" thing. Not as intriguing as it sounds.

Proper etiquette inside the VIP room entails that one does not be so crude in asking for a specific service. " Getting Head" is a term that should be frowned upon, I believe the correct phrase should be "damn girl you fine as fuck, how bout you putting some work in" then one should wait for a response. Politely and with great humility offer to pay any and all fees associated with said service.

See, we get Rational, Helpful, Informative Pookie one day a week, and then the rest of the time it's William Jennings Bryan on acid.

Yes socalledonlycousins, from time to time the voices in my head are calm and I can come up with some helpful information. William Jennings Bryan, impressive, I was so sure your readings leaned more towards the works of H.Hefner.

I'm a completist, man; they're both impressive statesmen.

Dustin...you're welcome.

Dustin, I assume you hate Generation Douchebag for new, ingenious, logically sound reasons that have not heretofore inspired any other generation to deprecate those adults who are younger than themselves?

Which is to say, I'm sure it's not just because you're bearing down on middle age and feeling a little cranky and crotchety and set in your ways? Surely not.

I assume you're a member of Generation X, and if I'm not mistaken you all got quite a bit of flak in your day for being no-good layabouts. And yet here you are running this successful website. Spewing venom. And they said it couldn't be done!

I saw them on "S e e k i n g R i c h . c o m",too.Maybe they want make more new friends.You can contact them on that site.