The Sorcerer's Pajiba!
The Daily Trade Round-Up / Daniel Carlson
I’m staring down the barrel of Ghost Rider this weekend, and though I’m holding onto the kind of cautious optimism I always use when approaching comic-book movies based on characters I don’t know about, I’m also plenty worried. Maybe that’s what’s got Nicolas Cage on my mind. It’s taken me a lot of concentration and several Ambien to wrap my head around the ads of Cage with a giant, flaming skull and chain-fighting what appears to be a mummified Peter Fonda, but that’s gonna seem like cake compared to understanding this: Cage is now attached to star in a live-action version of Disney’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. You know which one I mean. Mickey. Dancing brooms. The whole nine. Cage is set to play the sorcerer in the film, which is being eyed as a tentpole (oh good Lord help us) and will be written by the incomparable team of Lawrence Konner and Mark Rosenthal (The Beverly Hillbillies, Mona Lisa Smile, Flicka … yeah). One can only imagine the Southern-inflected horrors Cage will visit upon us as a wacky sorcerer looking for, um, some kind of intern to help clean up the dungeon area and do some light faxing and phone work, but you just know it’ll be worth watching. Like a train wreck.
And speaking of sorcerers: Gather round, my fellow geeks, for this is your week in the sun. Mere days after the publication of the first in a series of comic books based on Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series, rumors are spreading that TV wunderkind/easily distracted filmmaker J.J. Abrams is in talks with King to adapt the sprawling series of books for the screen. King has stated before that he doesn’t really want the books to be filmed, but he’s also a fawning fan of all things Abrams, as evidenced by the fact that he uses his regular column in Entertainment Weekly to plug the virtues of “Lost”; the magazine even arranged a sit-down between King and Abrams, as well as “Lost” executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof, just to shoot the breeze and praise each other’s careers for a couple hours. Not that a mutual verbal reacharound doesn’t make for thrilling reading, but still, it hardly comes as a surprise that the aging King is now deciding to compromise his remaining principles for Abrams. Personally, I doubt this will ever move out of the rumor phase; Abrams is too busy waffling on Star Trek XI (just let it die, man) and ignoring the head-shaking insanity that is “Lost” to give his attention to any one project, especially one of this magnitude. Not to mention that King passed his prime a few years back. Here’s hoping this thing gets stuck in turnaround.
On an unrelated and happier note: This spring brings with it the release of Hot Fuzz, the next feature from writer-director Edgar Wright, with a script assist from star Simon Pegg. Pegg and Wright previously teamed for Shaun of the Dead, a fantastic little horror comedy, and this time they’re teaming for an action-filled comedy about cops in a tiny British village dealing with a string of murders. Dig the inside reference in the fence-jumping scene, too. It’s sure to be a beauty:
Daniel Carlson is the managing editor of Pajiba and a low-level employee at a Hollywood industry magazine. You can visit his blog, Slowly Going Bald.
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Comments
Hot Fuzz was pretty great fun - really good script but the on purpose over direction got a little much
still by the time it just went crazy and demented it was WAY too much fun not to be swept along by
Posted by: PyD at February 15, 2007 8:09 AM
Cage was on my local radio station's morning show; indeed that would be Peter Fonda.
Posted by: The Stew at February 15, 2007 10:12 AM
I'm so stealing that mutual verbal reacharound line...
Posted by: britt at February 15, 2007 10:17 AM
Ok, i actually finished reading the whole thing, and HOT FUZZ?!?! Spectacular. Love the cast, loved the SOTD writing/directing team. should be a homerun. YAY!
Posted by: britt at February 15, 2007 10:21 AM
So Disney's going to start crapping all over Goethe AND THEMSELVES now? Oy vey!
Posted by: Armando at February 15, 2007 10:26 AM
Nicholas Cage is so annoying he makes my hair hurt. That annoying speaking thing where he uses... too... many... pregnant... pauses...followed... byspeakingreallyfastandthen... pausing...again. Drives me fucking crazy.
I let out a little squee whenever I think about Hot Fuzz.
Cage was making the rounds this morning, he was on Opie and Anthony as well. They announced him by saying he was "in that new movie about the flaming biker", which was pretty funny. Then they proceeded to slobber all over his ass.
Posted by: TK at February 15, 2007 10:31 AM
"That annoying speaking thing where he uses... too... many... pregnant... pauses...followed... byspeakingreallyfastandthen... pausing...again. Drives me fucking crazy." OMFG TK
You nailed it, it's painful to watch, he had it under control in Lord of War, but National Treasure was, pure, brutal, torture with him doing that SHIT.
Posted by: BarbadoSlim at February 15, 2007 10:58 AM
Dear JJ Abrams and Stephen King
Please don't f'up The Gunslinger Series.
xoxoox
Posted by: JenVegas at February 15, 2007 11:46 AM
I doubt JJ Abrams could f'up the Gunslinger series any worse than King did with the books following "Wizard and Glass". I'm still waiting to hear that everything after that was a joke and King will be releasing the "real" concluding books to the series soon.......
Posted by: Chris at February 15, 2007 12:31 PM
Oh man, I really liked the Gunslinger series, even including the last few which, while ridiculous, were just sort of fun. And as a screenwriter, I salivated at the idea of turning it into a film or series.
...But then I came to my senses, and realized that it was pretty much unfilmable.
In conclusion, argh King and Abrams. Don't do it!
Posted by: Kate K. at February 15, 2007 3:40 PM
I've always felt the Gunslinger series would be best done with animation, not live action. That would be, to me, the only acceptable adaptation. And they would have to stay true to the books (except the last three - they stank).
Posted by: Stenz at February 15, 2007 4:37 PM
Call me a purist, but I think that some things, Roland Deschain included, were not meant for the screen, big or small.
Past his prime, DC? Or has he hit a plateau? I'm hoping for the second, but only time will tell. Lisey's Story showed some promise.
Posted by: Smokin at February 15, 2007 6:04 PM
Smokin-- I'm with you that the gunslinger's tales shouldn't be adapted. And I think King plateaud in the 90s, and has since begun a slow but inexorable decline. Granted, "Lisey's Story" was his best work in years, though he's beginning to develop that loopy, old-man style of writing that thinks phrases like "fall-on-your-fanny funny" are, you know, acceptable. But "Wizard and Glass" and "Hearts in Atlantis" were King at the top of his game, and I remain convinced that the final 3 volumes of the Tower series would have been infinitely better had he not been hit by that van in 1999 and let the event consume his life and writing. (Although I did dig the coda at the end of volume 7; it was just everything up to that, including his ill-advised forays into metafiction in volume 6, that made we hang my head in disappointment.)
Well, that's my requisite thread-hijacking for the year. Sorry, everybody. -- Dan
Posted by: Daniel at February 15, 2007 6:11 PM
AHHH. Stephen King has Sick Boy Syndrome!
...He really has become completely crazy ever since he was mowed down. I used to see him around a lot (not in a few years though) and ...well, he's not a good person to be near in a movie theater.
Perhaps he was sick but HOLY GOD was he annoying.
Posted by: Leanne at February 15, 2007 8:05 PM
"...he's beginning to develop that loopy, old-man style of writing that thinks phrases like "fall-on-your-fanny funny" are, you know, acceptable. "
True. Which is unfortunate. He also used to be able to write about kids, but not so much anymore. "Cell" showed that, in addition to showing us that even King is not adverse to chewing his own cud once in awhile. I think the combination of the accident and age have affected him more than any of us who call ourselves fans would like to admit.
DR should be happy. I'm admitting that King has a weakness. Still won't give on Texas though, D.
Posted by: Smokin at February 16, 2007 1:03 AM
Nicholas Cage is so annoying he makes my hair hurt. That annoying speaking thing where he uses... too... many... pregnant... pauses...followed... byspeakingreallyfastandthen... pausing...again. Drives me fucking crazy.
Hee!
Posted by: rose no thorns at February 16, 2007 10:13 PM
Hot Fuzz...
Oh, how much longer do I have to wait for you?
Also, in the trailer, did he just... Kick an old lady in the face?
Posted by: Matt R at February 17, 2007 6:03 PM
I'm so very excited for the release of Hot Fuzz.
Posted by: Sarah at February 18, 2007 11:06 PM
