The Good, the Bad and the Herniated Pajiba
The Daily Trade Round-Up / The TV Whore
July 9, 2008
There is a ton of TV news this week, as the big summer press tour is going on here in LA. And it’s full of good news and bad news. And frankly, regardless of the news, I should be a pretty miserable TV Whore ever right now because, on Sunday, I blew out a previously herniated disc. I’ve been laid up the past couple of days and now walk with a mighty gimpy gait. It’s already caused me to cancel a trip, and I suspect other fun things will be missed out on the future. And sure, when when I was able to ignore the pain and/or concentrate through a Vicodin-induced haze, I got to lay around watching TV instead of being in the office doing law-talking guy things. But it’s not as much fun as it sounds. Point being, I should be miserable as all get-out right now. And that’s before we even turn to the bad TV news that came down over the last week.
For example, my misery should be made worse by the fact that HBO’s co-president has put words to what we’ve all known pretty much since Day One: “I think it’s safe to report that the likelihood of a ‘Deadwood’ movie happening is slim to none.” Cocksuckers not worth the shit on my shoes, those HBO execs are.
Tomorrow morning, meanwhile, the Emmy nominations are announced. And although I know the Emmys are truly meaningless in the grand scheme of anything, I can’t help but get worked up every year over the shitty shows and people that get nods in the place of the deserving ones left off. And just knowing that this annual tradition awaits me tomorrow morning, should have me suffering from a healthy dose of anticipatory-misery.
On top of these things, my moratorium on law/cop/doctor shows, and the “Crash” TV show, is now over. Which means I have to report news like this: “Crash,” the wonderful new Starz series based on Pajiba’s favoritest Oscar-winning film ever, has been giving a launch date of October 17. So just three months until we can watch Dennis Hopper ham it up with a bunch of other folks in an interwovern story that will undoubtedly take race-on-TV to new heights as the press release explains that the show “explores the complexities of social and racial tolerance and the meaning of the American dream through characters whose lives intersect and collide as they strive to achieve that dream.” However, the release neglects to mention that this is all done with the subtlety of using a sledgehammer to close a window.
Oh, and since the moratorium is over, I have to tell you that it’s been announced that William Peterson is officially leaving “CSI” halfway through next season. And I have to tell you that TNT has greenlit a legal drama from Steven Bochco called “Raising the Bar,” starring Mark-Paul Gosselaar. And I have to tell you about USA’s “Royal Pains,” a show staring Mark Feuerstein as a former ER doctor who becomes an on-call doc for the rich folk who live in the Hamptons.
Worst of all, VH1 has announced a new reality show called “The Cho Show.” Take a guess which unfunny but formerly amusing comedian it stars. If you guessed Margaret Cho, you’d be correct. And if you think it’s preferable to stab your eyes out rather than watch the show, well, you’d also be correct.
And yet, despite all these things, I’m not miserable at all. But it’s not for the reasons you might think.
Sure, it’s good news that we have final confirmation that a Seventh Season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” will be airing early next year. While last season wasn’t perfect, it still had enough laughs to warrant some more Larry David in my life, and I’ll take 10 more episodes, please. And I’ll definitely take some of “Treme,” David Simon’s new HBO pilot about New Orleans musicians and the city’s struggle to rebuild itself post-Katrina, as that sounds like the perfect canvas for him to paint some more of his brilliance on to (for the record, last Sunday’s premiere of Simon’s “Generation Kill” was excellent). But these good things aren’t why I’m care-free and happy as a clam.
And yes, I love, love, love this new poster for “Dexter” which Showtime had Shepard Fairey put together in honor of the show’s upcoming appearance at ComicCon. But that’s not the cause of my joy either.
Nor is it because Scott Bakula, who I’ve had a man crush on ever since “Quantum Leap,” is possibly coming back to TV. Bakula has signed on to the TNT pilot “Men of a Certain Age.” That’s the Ray Romano show about three forty-something dudes who have been friends since college. Bakula now completes the trio of friends, also made up of Romano and Brauhger, and it’s quite an interesting group — if they’re able to click and have some chemistry, along with a heaping of good writing, they might actually have something here.
And sure, the fact that Jordana Brewster has signed on for a “Chuck” guest arc as a former gal pal to the secret agent nerd surely has the Libidinous Me doing cartwheels. But that just makes the Physical Me jealous, since an attempt at doing a cartwheel would likely lead to paralysis. And the Mental Me knows that Brewster, while easy on the eyes, is a mediocre actress at best, so this may not really be adding anything positive to the show in any event.
Shit, there’s even good news from PBS, which has announced that two well-received theatrical performances are being brought to the tube — Sir Ian McKellen in “King Lear” (no word on whether the televised version will, as the stage version did, show us Sir Ian’s naked little knight) and Kevin Kline in “Cyrano de Bergerac.” Tack on a documentary called “Parallel World, Parallel Lives,” about a quantum physicist (Hugh Everett) and his indie rocker son (Mark Oliver Everett of the Eels) and I find myself actually pulling out my cable lineup card to find out which of my fucking 8 billion channels is PBS.
But that’s not why I’m giddy either. This is almost it however — FX has given a 13 episode order to a new comedy which will follow “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” a few weeks after its premiere on September 18 (and speaking of “Sunny,” on top of the 13 episodes currently in production, FX has ordered 39 more). I’m sold just on the show’s name — “Testees” — but the show itself sounds pretty solid too: it’s about two friends/roommates who work as test subjects, with each episode focusing on them testing a new product, medication or medical treatment, including the usually negative side effects. It will premiere on October 9, and it comes from Kenny Hotz, the creator/star of “Kenny vs. Spenny” and a former “South Park” writer.
The hot-off-the-press and oh-so-thin rumor that Amy Poehler is in talks to star in that spin-off of “The Office?” Sure, that makes me happy, but it ain’t the cause of my Day of Content.
There’s even a Pajiba contest going on right now about movies set in my home states, and it warms the cockles of my heart to see write-ups about Robocop, Groundhog Day and Rocky, among the many wonderful PA movies (but come-the-fuck-on people, you best not leave out 12 Monkeys and especially Trading Places).
Hell, even in unrelated-to-TV news, there was an awesome quote this week from Megan Fox about how she thinks it would be awesome for her to do a whole movie in the nude. And while that steams up my computer screen, it ain’t what’s getting me over the misery hump either.
The reason that none of the bad shit above is bringing me down, the reason that I can feel no pain despite by ragingly bulbous L4-L5 spinal disc, the reason that there is nothing but joy in the heart of this little TV Whore, is not because of any of the above good things.
It’s because of one thing.
This:
Fuck. Yes.
Sure, they’re ripping off “Survivor.” Who cares. This show is the tits, the bees knees, all that and a bag of chips. In fact, the only reason a season of “The Real World/Road Rules Challenge” doesn’t appear in our list of the best 20 seasons of the last 20 years is because you simply can’t just pick one season, they’re all so good. If I could run, I’d be running down the streets shouting with glee. But this will have to suffice. Get excited people!
Seth Freilich is Pajiba’s television editor. He’s seriously suffering from a severe case of the ouchies right now, and if anyone wants to send along a singing nurse who likes to fuck, well, he probably can’t take full advantage of that at the moment, but he’d appreciate the gesture nonetheless.
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Comments
"The Island" is just another reason why MY reality show, 'EATEN BY SHARKS', desperately needs to be produced.
The Premise: Hundreds of reality-show wannabe-douche-bags are put through an incredibly humiliating audition process. The winners are dressed up, wined, dined, and then taken by stretch limo to the producer's office. The producer says to them "Congratulations, you have been chosen to-" and then the floor of the office opens up, dropping them all into a tank full of ferocious tiger sharks.
Same again next season.
Posted by: Keith at July 16, 2008 8:31 AM
"Royal Pains"; "Raising the Bar" - Really? Whoever came up with those titles needs to take some lessons in the Art of Pun from the "Testees" folks.
Posted by: LB at July 16, 2008 8:45 AM
Dude, you missed the fact that the first act of Dr Horrible's Sing along blog is up today
Posted by: cockroach at July 16, 2008 8:45 AM
there was an awesome quote this week from Megan Fox about how she thinks it would be awesome for her to do a whole movie in the nude.
Aaannd...she's back in my good graces again.
I wish I could participate in the contest....I, unfortunately, do not have the necessary knowledge, cant go on the trip, and will just buy the shirt once it's available.
It is exciting to have Scott and Jordana on television, but did I miss something? I could've sworn Chuck was being cancelled. Oh well, I'll watch one time for Jordana. And Scott Bakula belongs in another scifi series, preferably not something as sucktastic as Enterprise. Maybe he should've tried to be on Terminator?
Good luck on the back, Seth. That really sucks. My mom went through that a few years back. ope it heals quickly and there's no lasting damage.
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 9:03 AM
Seth, you have my sympathies. I had a rupture at the L4/L5 level when I was 28. I thought i was going to put a bullet in my ear from the pain until a saint of a neurosurgeon said he had to cut me open or I'd be in a wheelchair in 6 months (whereupon hearing this news I cried with joy). Now, six years later, I have zero pain. Godtopus bless you, Dr. C!! Anyway, take care of your self.
Oh, and yay It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 39 episodes yayayayayay! I can't wait for the premire. I'm thinking potluck. Any takers?
Posted by: michelle at July 16, 2008 9:11 AM
I FINALLY saw the first act of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog this morning, and I wish it was longer. Can't wait until tomorrow.
Posted by: BWeaves at July 16, 2008 9:17 AM
Ouch. Sorry about your back, Seth! Hope you heal up soon!
And really? Testees? They really didn't see how that could be misconstrued? Meh, I'll probably watch it for the name.
Posted by: Jeremy at July 16, 2008 9:18 AM
I'm not sure whether to love you guys or hate you for introducing me to Freaks and Geeks. On the one hand it's one of the greatest shows of all time (in my humble opinion), but on the other hand I blew through the entire series in a couple of days, and now I'm feeling a remorse significantly greater than when my grandfather died last year.
Please tell me they've done books or comics or something! I hate the idea of never knowing what happens to those wonderful characters.
Posted by: Chugga at July 16, 2008 9:19 AM
Great Dexter poster.
The back thing sounds awful - hope the pain eases.
Posted by: Cindy at July 16, 2008 9:21 AM
Dr Horrible's Sing along blog is was up today yesterday
but is still is up today, so...
Posted by: cockroach at July 16, 2008 9:25 AM
Oh, USA. You usually make shows I like, but I wasn't interested in "Dirty Sexy Money" the first time around. Just sitting through commercials for "Royal Pains" during "Burn Notice" and "Psych" might be too much for me.
And I'm betting "Treme" will be a far more thoughtful examination of race in America than "Crash." Any takers?
Posted by: Todd at July 16, 2008 9:39 AM
speaking of "Sunny," on top of the 13 episodes currently in production, FX has ordered 39 more
Aaaaaaand orgasm.
Feel better Seth. I'd offer my singing nursely services, but I sprained the shit out of my neck a few days ago and am therefore limited in my man-pleasing capabilities.
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 9:53 AM
but I sprained the shit out of my neck a few days ago and am therefore limited in my man-pleasing capabilities.
No...you don't need to move your neck to please a man...it's nice, but not necessary
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 10:00 AM
Seth, that sucks, my dad has three of those motherfuckers, and he walks like he has a wooden leg. but he totally rocks it.
In the first season of Two guys a girl and a pizza place Ryan Reynolds character tested medical, funny but I doubt it's funny enough to carry an entire show, well we'll see.
and yeah people I love TGAGAPP. I mean, Ryan Reynolds AND Nathan Fillion, even just taping it makes me fertile enough to procreate the entire Von Trapp family, all of them while singing.
Posted by: rio at July 16, 2008 10:00 AM
Dr Horrible's Sing along blog is was up today yesterday
You probably have a better chance of seeing it today. Yesterday it kind of broke the Internet.
Also, good luck to you TV Whore and I hope you have a speedy recovery. My father had back surgery a few years ago - it's tough stuff.
Posted by: twig at July 16, 2008 10:09 AM
awesome Always Sunny news...
when will the PA contest end?
Posted by: Colin at July 16, 2008 10:10 AM
Do I have to move at all, Shadows? I'm so very tired from 10 straight days of...relaxing.
Stupid shorehouse bunk beds and your rock hard mattresses! I would curse you straight to hell, but you made a pretty cool fort.
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 10:11 AM
starring Mark-Paul Gosselaar
Does it have Balki as his sassy, English-challenged assistant?
Oh, wait, that's the other Mark-hyphenate. Does it have Mario Lopez as his sassy assistant, prancing around with no sleeves pretending to be straight?
Posted by: socalledonlycousins at July 16, 2008 10:16 AM
Teeheehee, Dr. Horrible's buddy's name is Moist! I am amused! (and I can't help but feel that the m-word-hating ladies of Pajiba will manage to look past it for Nathan Fillion's sake)
Feel better soon, Seth. That sounds like a bitch. Like, almost Crash-the-Series painful.
Posted by: MO(meaux) at July 16, 2008 10:29 AM
You're lucky Alabama still doesn't have anti-necrophilia laws, or I'd be out or practice for this...
What? I fill in at the morgue, sometimes...and they're not all the way cold yet...and a guy gets lonely late at night..STOP JUDGING ME!!!
Besides...Julie's way warmer and can move if she wants...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 10:36 AM
Seth, that blows.
Emmy noms:
Shows that will be overlooked: The Wire
Shows that will be given awards for mediocre crap: Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives
If stupid brainwashing American Idol beats my beloved Amazing Race this year, I may revert to the fetal position and cry.
Posted by: Melody at July 16, 2008 10:40 AM
Teeheehee, Dr. Horrible's buddy's name is Moist
Okay, now I have to watch this...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 10:44 AM
Oh-ho, and it's not just that Dr. Horrible's buddy's name is Moist. It's also his superpower. It was very amusing.
Posted by: BWeaves at July 16, 2008 10:48 AM
How exactly does one use the superpower of moistening to their advantage? How would you market that?
No more anxiety over who will water your plants while vacationing!
Sealing envelopes is no longer the treacherous task it once was!
And for all you young men, foreplay is now a distant memory! Get your ladies wet without ever lifting a finger!
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 10:58 AM
And for all you young men, foreplay is now a distant memory! Get your ladies wet without ever lifting a finger!
I have found my new favorite superpower
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 11:04 AM
I have found my new favorite superpower
...and I have found my new favourite superhero....
Posted by: MO(meaux) at July 16, 2008 11:07 AM
I have a superhero with that power. It's called "Being Awake."
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 11:09 AM
Whew, is it hot in here, or is it just Julie, folks?!
Posted by: MO(meaux) at July 16, 2008 11:11 AM
Hee! I shook my head at myself with that one.
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 11:15 AM
There definitely are better seasons of Real World/Road Rules Challenge than others. One that springs to mind are whichever one that Belou brought her baby with her b/c seriously that was great TV. I would also give higher recognition to Battle of the Seasons b/c I am pretty sure that is when we got to meet "The Miz" in all of his glory. Plus, any season with Kenny and Evan involved...at first I didn't like that the Fresh Meat kids were sticking around, but those two are a welcome addition.
Posted by: jmurae at July 16, 2008 11:22 AM
You can be my sidekick, Julie. Together, we can fight impotence and Bob Dole as we leap through bedrooms, utilizing our twin weapons of mass arousal, stopping every third one to...ahem...replenish...our energies...
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at July 16, 2008 11:34 AM
With all of this moist talk and wanting to be pounded by Captain Hammer, how am I supposed to concentrate on work? It's not even 9 am.
Posted by: Marianne at July 16, 2008 11:57 AM
Together, we can fight impotence and Bob Dole as we leap through bedrooms
Ah ha ha ha! And oh God, don't say Bob Dole and bedrooms in the same sentence, now I'm picturing debaucherous geriatric sexcapades...I wonder what he does with his pen?
Posted by: Julie at July 16, 2008 12:02 PM
oh no! here's to a seedy (was supposed to be speedy, but I a keeping the typo, fits more in with the Whore's personality I think) recovery Seth!
but I do hate you for getting me all worked up about the one reason you are still in a good mood in spite of ALL that horrible stuff you listed on to find that the video is no longer available
not cool Seth
not
cool
and with that I am off to go watch me some NPH and Fillion, yummmmmmm
Posted by: Bethy at July 16, 2008 12:34 PM
and think goodness I didn't read all through the comments thread....the word moist puts me on egde...
where's Sarina? we need to go get a drink together
Posted by: Bethy at July 16, 2008 12:35 PM
Sorry to hear about your back problems Seth. Got me some completely degenerated discs, so I can relate.
Some decent news in this round up, and I love that Dexter poster.
Just one thing...wasn't Robocop set in Detroit?
Posted by: Groundloop at July 16, 2008 1:08 PM
Sounds like you have got a case of Superior Gluteal nerve compression. As for your gait, when you walk, does your hip drop to any particular side? If so, then the nerve on the other side is most likely pinched. Take rest, and keep your back relaxed.
Posted by: Emran at July 16, 2008 1:19 PM
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Posted by: Andrew at July 16, 2008 1:40 PM
Just wanted to say that the Dr. Horrible thing is the funniest shit I have seen all month at least, and probably longer. I didn't know NPH could sing...
Also: Moist is the greatest character ever.
Posted by: the_wakeful at July 16, 2008 2:43 PM
Bakula has signed on to the TNT pilot "Men of a Certain Age."
in my pants! [wishful sigh]
Posted by: ohgrl at July 16, 2008 3:11 PM
Keith, brilliant idea. I'd definitely watch it! Julie, maybe Dole's heard of a certain Penis Mightier...what is this new wonder duo going to be called? Shadows of Julietude?
Posted by: lordhelmet at July 16, 2008 3:30 PM
Can we please get rid of the pop-up ads that appear as you click to a new page. You know, the ones that make you wait while the page is loading? Lately it's been Classmates with that poor girl's senior picture staring at me, or it's Netflix with Will Farrell in his "Elf" costume. You have the option to skip the ad, but you have to stare until the screen is ready. By then, you've been exposed to it already. I'm not knocking the classmates girl's looks. I don't want to see MY senior pictures, much less anyone elses.
Posted by: rlr260 at July 16, 2008 7:54 PM
hey Seth:
"I heard that you were feeling ill,
headaches, fever and a chill,
Well, I'm here to restore your pluck,
'cause I'm the nurse who likes to..."
I 'spose that's what you were after, neh? Oh well, too bad I'm spoken for. And Canadian. And have the kids...ah, forget it.
Posted by: replica at July 16, 2008 8:51 PM
good lord seth, for a writer of a site praised for hating shitty television, you sure like to try to rally the troops over a lump of inevitable granny panty sludge- don't act like you don't know what that is, you sick son of a bitch.
Posted by: MAx at July 17, 2008 5:22 AM
I just introduced my wife to the RW/RR Challenge last season and she is now completely hooked. We saw that preview last week, and when it was over we just stared at each other with our mouths hanging open. I believe my exact words were, "What. The. FUCK!"
I get chills thinking about Tonya's return.
Posted by: Kballs at July 17, 2008 9:27 AM
You know, I just found out that my puppy has a hernia, you cock. Sorry, I'm a little on the edge.
I'm counting on the creepy-ass vines from 'The Ruins' to eat those people alive. If not, at least make them go insane and start slicing their limbs off.
Posted by: Jaci at July 17, 2008 2:20 PM
