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Thou Shalt Not Make Out with Ventriloquist Dummies

The Ten / John Williams

For really old stone tablets that featured fairly obvious rules for good behavior, the Ten Commandments have been strong influences on filmmakers. Most notably, they moved Cecil B. DeMille to cast Charlton Heston as Moses and they provided the foundation for Krzysztof Kieslowski’s The Decalogue, a series of short films, each pegged to one of the edicts from Mount Sinai.

In The Ten, writer-director David Wain takes Kieslowski’s approach, except where the Polish master was interested in a subtle examination of human nature and contemporary morality, Wain is drawn to scenes of prison rape and women losing their virginity to Jesus.

Wain was part of the absurdist comedy team that created the show “The State,” and all his old cronies are here, joined by several bigger-name actors (Winona Ryder, Paul Rudd, Liev Schreiber, Jessica Alba, Famke Janssen, and more). Rudd introduces the stories. He first
appears in front of a black screen and a giant computer-generated image of the commandments, makes a forced joke or two, and generally gives the feeling that you’re in for a really long night. Luckily, things improve.

The first sketch involves a young man (Adam Brody) who forgets his parachute while skydiving and lands buried up to his neck in the middle of a field. He’s alive, but if he moves at all, he’ll die. He becomes an instant star, and the movie miraculously manages to parody celebrity culture in a fresh way. It’s a silly start, but perfectly representative of an uneven project that fully commits to one asinine premise after another. It wouldn’t be right to give away specific jokes, but the broad highlights include Schreiber and Joe Lo Truglio as competitive neighbors who race to buy more CAT scan machines than the other and ruin their lives in the process; Ryder as a woman who falls passionately (very passionately) in love with a ventriloquist’s dummy; and Ken Marino as a surgeon who leaves scissors inside a patient and insists he’s innocent of murder because he did it intentionally, “as a goof.”

Marino co-wrote the movie and appears in a few sketches, and between this and his standout work in the little-seen Diggers earlier this year, I’m starting to think he’s one of our more underutilized acting talents. His character appears more than once, in a variety of tones, and he nails them all.

The Ten is ultimately just a flimsy excuse to air 90 minutes of sketches, and like any sketch comedy show, it’s wildly hit or miss. Rudd’s character has his moments, but the role is unnecessary and awkward. The movie would have been shorter and much improved if it just rolled out the shorts without the conceit of a tour guide. The hits make it worth seeing, but whether or not that means a trip to the theater or a wait for the DVD depends on how much you miss this troupe, or how badly you want to see Ryder risk getting some nasty splinters for the sake of her art.

John Williams lives in Brooklyn. He’s a freelance writer. He blogs at A Special Way of Being Afraid.


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Comments

Just so that I have a better idea of what we're dealing with here, which commandment is associated with the parachuting sketch?

Posted by: Bucko at August 6, 2007 12:22 PM

Bucko it was the 1st commandment, thou shalt not have any gods before me.

I really liked the movie. I definitely agree that Ken Marino's performance was the highlight of the film. I had no idea how talented he was. All I remember about him was that he was the hottest one on the State.

I admit, I miss the State a great deal and I think others who were fond of this show should definitely make a trip to the theater to see it.

Posted by: Lex at August 6, 2007 12:42 PM

winona, jessica and famke, thats enough EYE CANDY to at least erect some interest,sorry LINDSEY missed this one

Posted by: pasadenamike at August 6, 2007 12:48 PM

And Ken Marino was on Veronica Mars.

Posted by: sarah b at August 6, 2007 12:59 PM

Thought I could read it. But I can't. Ventriloquist dummies creep me out ever since that Anthony Hopkins movie --Magic. Saw it when I was a kid. Now dummies, puppets, marrionnettes (ick) and clowns give me the heebiejeebies.

Posted by: wsapnin at August 6, 2007 1:19 PM

I dunno, I kind of like the idea of a Twilight Zone/Night Gallery type of setup for the skecthes.

Posted by: Dano at August 6, 2007 1:55 PM

Good to see Winona getting work; maybe this will help her move on with her life without Depp.

Posted by: ryan at August 6, 2007 2:06 PM

Whos 10 commandments are we talking about? The Jews number them differently from the Christians.

1. I am the Lord your G-d who brought you out of the land of Egypt.
2. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

So, already the commenters don't agree on which commandment is number 1.

Posted by: Bweaves at August 6, 2007 3:06 PM

Then, the movie numbers them out based on the order Christians use.

Posted by: Lex at August 6, 2007 3:22 PM

The Decalogue (Dekalog, in Polish) were not supposed to be "short films", per se, but rather were made for Polish television distribution.

Posted by: Amanda Mae at August 6, 2007 3:40 PM

1. I am the Lord your G-d who brought you out of the land of Egypt.

How is that a command?

Posted by: twig at August 6, 2007 4:50 PM

BTDubz: I saw this in April in Boston, and if you like Stella, you'll love this.

Posted by: randolph at August 6, 2007 5:20 PM

twig, I think that's lord-speak for "Thou shalt worship no other before me," i.e., no false idols, etc. But I'm no scholar, Old Testament or New.

Posted by: socalledonlycousins at August 6, 2007 5:30 PM

did anyone besides me get the feeling most of the sketches had nothing to do with the actual commandment? i think they sort of abandoned the premise halfway through and just went with lame jokes.

Posted by: bib at August 6, 2007 7:21 PM

I don't know, but I heart Famke, so I'm seeing this at some point. Theatre or DVD, I couldn't tell ya.

Posted by: Gabs at August 6, 2007 11:50 PM

The jewish and christian commandments are the same. 1 would be thou shalt have no other god beside me, while say the surgeon sketch would be thou shalt not kill.

Posted by: cweise01 at August 7, 2007 12:30 AM

Hey,

David Wain shares his favorite places in NY with photos and audio tips from David himself. If you're interested it's at: ontheinside.info

Posted by: Thomas at August 7, 2007 1:28 PM

This movie was so painful my boyfriend and I opted to leave midway through and get dinner. I fucking love Paul Rudd and his scenes were excruciatingly bad - it was like watching a comedian bomb on stage. The story with Gretchen Mol and Justin Theroux was the funniest by far.

Posted by: chriso at August 9, 2007 2:41 AM