Pajiba

Thomas Kinkade? I've got better:
Poker Dogs: The Movie
Black Velvet Stories
And the list keeps going and going...

Another Idea is get Eli Roth to make yet another over the top, misogynistic horror film about a vacation in a Christmas Cottage.

Why the holy hell would anyone think this was a good idea?

Although to add to the above creativeness I think a story about a young girl who is saved by an eagle that has - get this - other eagles living within its wings it could be symbolic of America's triumph over something or other.

My head hurts.

Although I do have a great mental image of clowns accented with glitter ripping through the velvet night to slaughter people as they sleep - get Eli Roth to direct it and you have box office gold.

Kinkade once drunkenly heckled Sigfried and Roy in Vegas... which makes me laugh hard enough to justify his existence.

Okay, I can understand a painting being *inspiration* for a movie, like a writer looks at a painting and it gives them an idea, or reminds them of some previous event or even just makes them want to create a scene and they go from there. I'm sure there are plenty of writers who see works of art that act as a starting point for a story.

But to give the painting a writing credit? That's absurd.

As I said to the boy yesterday re. 28 Weeks Later, "there's good news and bad news." Bad: No Boyle. Good: there's Robert Carlyle as a consolation prize.

I have never heard of this Kinkade fella. Will have to GIS in order to mock. And indeed there have been many a narrative inspired by paintings--ekphrastic poetry has made an entire genre of it. And there have been a few films made which were "inspired" by a painting--I just can't come up with a title at the moment, but there's a lot of rumbling at the back of my brain...something's tweaking a few vague bells. Maybe it'll come to me, or to another poster.

I have never heard of this Kinkade fella.

I wish I could be you.

just to point out the obvious....girl with a pearl earring was a pretty fantastic film (in my books). was it based solely on the piece of art, or also on the chevalier novel? i'm not too sure... but then again, this kinkade fella doesn't really hold a candle to vermeer.

I do love the episode of Buffy where the college-vampire gang collects items from the dorm rooms of the kids they kill, and giggle at the number of Klimts they acquire.

That's all I got.

Seriously dude... "Girl with a Pearl Earring" starring ScarJo's breasts? Did no one see this movie... what with all the cleavage and pouty (facial) lips and earnest longing and stuff? I own it, and I still haven't seen it, but... whatever.

Owning a Kinkade "painting" is proof that your vagina is dry, dusty and cobwebby, and that you will believe *anything* you are ever told. So now we have yet another movie aimed at the lowest common denominator, but there's no blood, sex, swearing or explosions. It's like "The Spoogey Cabins of Madison County". Jesus Fucking Christ! This officially makes Southern Christians dumber than... oh... yeah...

Russell

Daniel, you didn't go to church in Ann Arbor, Michigan by any chance, did you? Cause I heard a pastor there once say the same thing and it was about the funniest thing I've ever experienced in church...until I asked him if he knew what "shooting my wad" meant. The deer in the headlights look on his face was priceless!

TK! You beat me to it! Brilliant.

At any rate, speaking as an artist myself, Thomas Kincade simply offends me. And I make fun of blind people.

The preview for 28 Weeks Later looks hella cool. But no Cillian Murphy?! WTF is up with that? He was the best thing about the first movie! Robert Carlyle does start to make up for the lack of Cillian, though. Hope it's as good as it looks from the trailer.

From the title of this round-up, I was expecting some sort of Fight Club or Chuck Palahniuk related news. You follow that with shooting wad in a church and I feel even more confident that something cool is about to be announced.

Then you blind-side me with Thomas Kincade. You dirty bastards.

Girl With A Pearl Earring was based on Tracey Chevalier's novel. Which was based on that particular painting as well as a fictionalized story of the life of the painter.

I'm really wondering where they're going to get the plot for the Thomas Kincaid movie. I mean, they can't make a full length film about wreaths and cottages, can they?

...CAN THEY?!

big rubbery one...
I KNOW this quote!!! But I can't place it. help me..

oh, and out of all the artwork in creation, KINKADE??! I guess I should be pleased. Who better to cheapen than a hack? It'd be much more depressing to see a Van Gogh exploited for what will undoubtedly be a masterpiece of shite. I live in the south, and I loooathe Thomas Kinkade. When I speak my mind on this issue, the reaction it gets is unbelievable. I might as well have admitted to worshiping the DEVIL. Christians seem to think his little glowy windows and soft petunias come from the very breath of God...it's weird. Thanks for the confirmation.

nevermind, got it. Fight Club, Bob's bitch tits.

My knowledge of this piece of trivia is courtesy of and episode of Wait Wait Don't Tell Me - Mr. Kinkade is not simply satisfied with letting loose a warm stream of piss on humanity with his "art," he's keen on very public displays of actual elimination as well.

Here's an article to back that up - http://www.lasvegasweekly.com/2006/03/30/popculture.html

My favorite is how he once peed on a Winnie the Pooh statue. Seriously, as if you can't tell from his "paintings" that this man is disturbed, then this should seal the deal.

lucky7s:


Thank you for posting that article, in which the author's creative use of a thesaurus to describe Kinkade's proclivity for "[engaging] in a little Jackson Pollock-style dripwork," so to speak, made me snort hot tea out of my sinuses. When my boss was walking by my cubicle.

I love sweet, sweet Pajiba.

Ok, that Kinkade bit was the best thing I've ever read on this site. And I'm not exaggerationalizing.

...this guy creates these weird graphical representations of the emotional state you have to be in to read The Purpose-Driven Life

For years I have been unable to articulate my contempt for the "work" of T. Kinkade--and you did it for me with twenty-two words!

Oh how I luuuurve Pajiba.

Oh God, Thomas Kinkade - He's so talented and just fantastic!!!!!! I love his work!!

I was being sarcastic, but I'm afraid I just killed a big old hunk of my soul just by typing that. I hope no one comes to take away my art history degree... :(

Luckily I am only aware of Kincade's existance because of the internet, I've never met anyone who's owned his "art". In fact the only way you can even buy it over here is through mail order advertised in the Sunday suppliments of the trashiest papers available to man.

They also advertise commemorative plates showing dogs with large eyes, possibly sitting in a basket. These plates are edges with real gold leaf!!! Magical. Don't get me started on the ballerinas, or the wealth of jewellery featuring the "footprints" poem/parable/glurge.

Although these new facts are making me warm to Kincade - sort of.

Thomas Kincade actually has entire stores (er, "galleries" with his name on the storefront)filled with his art. There's one in a mall not too far from my house. Scary shit, man.

I hope he starts peeing on canvases and selling that in those stores. Or better yet, doing live demonstrations of him peeing on canvases. That would be sweet.

"They also advertise commemorative plates showing dogs with large eyes, possibly sitting in a basket"

Now that sounds like a movie

Aww man how about Mona Lisa.

Isn't there going to be any movie on her.
I think that did be way interesting that whatsitname.

I would pay to see "Poker Dogs."

I'm thinking one of the dogs will piss off Mr. Blonde and end up losing an ear. He's a cheating bastard, hides extra aces under his collar.

I just thought you all should know that I am Thomas Kincade, and the things you all have said are really hurtful and made me cry and pee on things even more. I'm now a peeing and crying mess of blubbering pee.

I hope you're happy, Pajiba-ites. Words hurt, sometimes.

Sometimes they hurt a lot.

*sob*

*piddle*

Now 28 Weeks Later looks like a movie for Stringer Bell

The correct term is Pajibans. Short and sweet. Have T-shirts made. Then someone can make the T-shirt into a movie.

I can't recall the last time I read something that filled me with such a mix of anticipation and dread- anticipation because I LOVED the movie, and dread because now the "I thought it was a sequel to 28 Days!" morons will renew their assault on my psyche.
As much as I enjoyed Cillian as Jim, I'm glad to see he won't be back- a lot of what I liked about the original was that, as I'm not all that movie-literate, the actors(Christopher Eccleston excepted) weren't immediately recognizable from their prior movies.
I am skeptical about Robert Carlyle- he's a great actor in everything I've seen him in, but I suspect my brain will try to tell me he's Begbie or Gaz every time he shows up onscreen.

Back in my hometown the mall had a very cool indoor fountain. It had this very geometric, cubist kind of look that really let you know the mall was built in the 60's. It was out from of the Bon Marche (which is a Macy's now, alas, alas) and you could get to the lower floor of the Bon by taking stairs that wound around the fountain. Around 1999 the mall was remodeled and the fountain was replaced by a Kincade "gallery." I really hate that guy.

jerce- I would SO go see that movie.
I love that TK has "galleries" in malls across America. As if we needed more evidence of his hackery. It's like, "Hi, I'm Thomas Kincaide, Painter of Light. Come see me at the Riverside Mall- I'm between Auntie Ann's Pretzel's and Things Remembered."

well hey, Girl With a Pearl Earring was great, so maybe there's hope.

My mom loves Thomas Kinkade. I have been subject to his paintings for years. I can't really explain the appeal, but as far as I know my parents aren't aware of the religious symbolism. They, at least my mom, just think it's kind of pretty. They also have absolutely no appreciation for art. I'm not saying this to degrade them, but that's the way it is. They're just a blue collar family in a rust-belt city and they think it's nice to look at.

That said, I personally feel that the drivel that is Thomas Kinkade could be used in a really great way. My sister once had an assignment to write a story about a rabbit, I think it's the Peter rabbit of children's lore. Anyways, she wrote about this rabbit teetering on the edge of a cliff, contemplating suicide. Did he do it? Oh yeah, he jumped.

Maybe if there was some subversion, some evil in this otherwise friendly picture, that lurks beneath the surface, just waiting to get out...or maybe if the townspeople really hate that pretty cottage/lighthouse, whatever, and they try to destroy it...

Okay, I'm disturbed. Sorry. 28 weeks later rocks!

*sob*

*piddle*

I almost made it through your comment with my lungs intact until this. Damn you, TK. Damn you.

"I am skeptical about Robert Carlyle- he's a great actor in everything I've seen him in, but I suspect my brain will try to tell me he's Begbie or Gaz every time he shows up onscreen."

It's all good, Rachel--if this indeed happens, just keep telling yourself that Hamish Macbeth can sort out any kind of pickle!

How about the short "Crows" from Kurosawa's "Dreams"? That was based mainly on the paintings of Van Gogh, mostly "Wheat Fields with Crows". Of course, Kinkade is no Van Gogh and Kurosawa had the benefit of Martin Scorsese playing Van Gogh, but my point is that maybe a movie (OK, OK, a short) based on a painting isn't always a stupid idea.

Also I would like to take this moment to admit that in school a group of us actually did make a really short-short starring and about real dogs playing poker. And it was horrible.

A "friend" of mine actually paid out the wazoo to get Thomas Kincade freakin' wallpaper border for her living room!!! Needless to say, I avoid her house like a green monkey.

It's final.....this is the apocalypse....

A "friend" of mine actually paid out the wazoo to get Thomas Kincade freakin' wallpaper border for her living room!!! Needless to say, I avoid her house like a green monkey.

It's final.....this is the apocalypse....

"Poker Dogs vs. Velvet Elvis" THIS I would watch

I'm into art, and I have sort of an overactive imagination, so sometimes when I'm at museums I'll look at paintings and try to imagine what the real story is behind them. Sort of a 'Girl With a Pearl Earring' sort of thing, you know? Only thing is: the paintings I think about tend to actually have PEOPLE in them.

Kinkade heckling Sigfried & Roy is funny mainly because they're all cut from the same marshmallow peep-flavored cloth.

Sunday in the Park With George was sorta inspired by a painting, no? Then again Seurat - aside from his OCD - was more or less the Kinkade of his day....

And I vote "Pajibians".

What about Wyland? Maybe Disney could option it as a sequel to Finding Nemo.

Nevermind. It's already in the works...
http://www.wylandgalleries.com/index.cfm?do=disneydivebuddies

Ideas for Kincade plot:

1. Single white female is sad, wants boyfriend/husband. Sees christmas cottage painting and dreams about living there with boyfriend/husband, confides in homely/overweight/gay best friend. Meets man, date, breakup, he has epiphany and dashes to her...where they meet an embrace on the steps of the christmas cottage.

2. Single white female is Sandra Bullock, buys christmas cottage to get away from evil city life, time travel/mailbox romance ensues with Keanu Reeves.

3. Single white female/male is orphan, is sad, doesn't understand true meaning of christmas. He/she is invited home to the cottage to celebrate christmas with a family who's a ragtag group of lovable misfits. Protagonist falls in love with the least weird misfit, learns true meaning of christmas.

4. Jerry Bruckheimer produces, christmas cottage is misleading site of drug bust gone horribly wrong, bucolic cottage and surroundings blown to hell. Now that's a Bruckheimer movie I might be willing to see.

I cannot fucking believe you just name-checked Post, Texas! Old Mill Trade Days, bitches!

Oh I don't know...I bet Tim Burton and Johnny Depp could put a serious fuck-up on "The Christmas Cottage"...

but in reality it will end up being a drippy family drama which will please all big-haired, elastic waist-banded mall lovers and allow them to cry into their vats of buttered popcorn, after which they will leave the theatre telling each other "Now THAT is a good movie...I even cried!"

Ohh!! Who said shirts? That would be awesome. They would just say "Pajiban" on 'em. I would most definately get one.

Interestingly, "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles came on my iPod while I was reading this. I think it is a sign.

I came very close to marrying a man whose mother had already bought us a Thomas Kinkade picture as a wedding gift. Talk about dodging a bullet!

As for you Pajibans who have never heard of/seen/been subjected to Thomas Kincade....lucky SOBs.

Brian, you beat me to it. I'm all about this movie just 'cause it's got ol' String in it.

Girl with a Pearly Earring was gorgeous. I have no interest in ScarJo's boobs of creepy-looking Colin Firth but the cinematography in that film was amazing, the whole thing looked like a Vermeer painting. So don't compare it to wacko Kinkade yet.

Hey, The Agony and the Ectasy was a pretty good movie about a painting.

So don't say it can't be done, because we all know the Sistine Chapel ain't got shit on The Christmas Cottage...

Just reading the title 'The Christmas Cottage' sends me into a diabetic coma. It also makes me think of 'The Christmas Shoes' which is quite an unforgivable offense. Damn you, Kinkade!

Twig--

"Kinkade once drunkenly heckled Sigfried and Roy in Vegas..."

Even if it's not true, thanks for the good laff!!

Click this link and read. It's enough to make me burn down my granny's house to get rid of all of the "quaint little cottages" hanging on her wall.

http://arts.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1739383,00.html

Back off Girl With a Pearl Earring. The book is more about Vermeer, imagining a backstory to the painting that's built on history because there's not alot known about it or its painter. The book is one of my favorites, and the movie is a pretty good adaptation. It's not the same as looking at a picture of a cottage and coming up with a backstory, unless this film has something to do with Kinkade as well.

And Colin Firth will never be creepy. Ever. Even in What a Girl Wants -- that wasn't creepy, just sad.

Thomas Kinkaide? I can do better. How about "Anne Geddes; The Movie." It would be about a bunch of weird, creepy babies crawling out of flower pots and cabbages. I'm sure there is another Fanning or Culkin spawn on the way who could star in this cinema craptacular. I should be a screenwriter!

I really can't stand Thomas Kinkaide. His paintings fill me with the same dread that those pastel geometric beach scenes at the dentist's office do. It's cheap sentimentality.
But the disgust exhibited in these comments, towards people, kind of bothers me as well. Sure, I exhibit disgust often enough, about this movie, or that piece of pulp/pop culture, but I think when you start making comments about how "They're just a blue collar family with no ability to appreciate art" you're forgetting that art is accessible to everyone, that what speaks to the soul of any individual is subject to their experiences, feelings, taste, and that sometimes education does no more than fill you with conceit.
Plus I've grown up being told by the post modern world that splashes of paint on a canvas is art, and some guy peeing in a jar and sticking a crucifix in it is art.
Yeah I can't stand Thomas Kinkaide. He's a pulp artist, painting the exact same things over and over. His skill is limited to the inanimate. Any movie involving any of his creative juices is going to have all the emotional resonance of a Lifetime Original movie that's missing the actors.

The only actress generic enough to be in that Kinkade inspired "film" is *drumroll*

Meg Ryan

NeoCleo;

Check the Wikipedia entry, or just type in "Thomas Kinkade Sigfreid and Roy" in google and take your pick of articles.

Girl with a Pearl Earring was absolute poop, film and book.

There's a Kinkade gallery in my mall too. His paintings fill me with wonder and amazement... I mean, just think, somewhere in this world there must be a sweatshop where people churn these things out. He can't possibly paint them all, can he?

Ha! I totally had that Klimt print my senior year of high school--I always thought I was ahead of the curve.

You are all asking for a heaping helping of legal punishment for not including "Painter of Light" in every reference to Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light". Beware! At least Daniel knows, although he may get served for twisting the words a little.

And lets not forget what a huge industry Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light" has going. You can actually get your overpriced lithograph turned into a "semi-original" by having Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light" touch up the print with a few dabs of paint (they basically make the windows emit 'more light'by adding highlights).

Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light" has anual sales in excess of $100 million. If he can put his name and images to Laz-Y-Boys and suburban developments, he can certainly fashion a movie from the whole cloth of a Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light" print.

Check out Doug Harvey's article at this link for a good analysis of Thomas Kinkade, "Painter of Light".
http://www.grandcentralartcenter.com/gcacPages/Artists/Kinkade/KinkadeHarvey.html

if i'm not mistaken, hasn't our dear mr. kinkade already written novels inspired by his own paintings? one can only hope that this film will be based on these gems.

One of my great fears in life is that one of my fundamentalist relatives will give me a Kinkade painting for Christmas and expect me to weep with joy. Eek! Thanks for reviving that nightmare.

i have interest in scarjo's boobs, and i still didnt like girl with a pearl earring.

regarding thomas kinkade, my only interaction with his work has been in the form of jigsaw puzzles. i remember working really long on one with my girlfriend, and we didnt have the box, just the pieces, so we had no idea what it would look like fully. when it was done we both went "man that painting sucks" and couldnt believe we had put it together. although if the christmas cottage was a kinkade biopic, i would totally see it, just for the scene of him breaking down in tears while peeing on a volkswagon. i imagine somebody like...a sort of funny comedian trying to play serious as kinkade. oscar gold.

If it's Kinkade now, can a live action flick based on those 1970s "Love is..." cards by Kim Casali be far behind?

Wait...no. Those kids were nude, so I guess that would be porn.

Just a quick vote for "Paji", to rhyme with Magi and offering the novelty of an exotically holy-flavored glow.

My mother-in-law got me an umbrella for Christmas. I stuck it in my bag and thought little of it. The first time I opened it, I was walking out of a coffee shop with a friend and was horrified to realize the outside was rimmed with Thomas Kinkade cottages bathed in golden twilight.

As if that weren't embarrassing enough, from what I've just read apparently all who passed me were thinking my vagina was "dry, dusty and cobwebby."

Curse you Kinkade!!! (fist raised, shaking futilely in the air)

Yes, I also think he's a horrendous hack - but one hell of a marketer. It gives me visual diabetes, but he's laughing all the way to the bank. Talk about a publicity whore.

Anyone wanna see him and Gene Simmons (of Kiss fame)go mano-a-mano?

*reveals appalling secret*

I have this godawful weakness for kitsch. It takes the most unspeakable form as 'twee cottages'. Mostly as cross-stitch patterns (almost all unworked, praise the ghods). I even have a small resin lamp that looks remarkably like......but mercifully isn't. I ain't gonna contribute to his deliquency. But even for me, Kincade is too much. A little goes a REAL LONG way.

And now for a little relief, for all of us:

Meth Lab in the Woods (not one of his biggest sellers)
http://photos21.flickr.com/24869823_b1a34bde39_m.jpg
24869823_b1a34bde39_m.jpg (JPEG Image, 240x190 pixels)

And:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/paintings-light-part.php?page=5
Paintings of Light (Part 1)

Hope these helped.

For whatever reason, I have centered most of my anger during the last ten years at one man who I believe represents everything that is wrong with this country, religion, and the commodification of art: Thomas Kinkade. I mean, the fucking guy refers to HIMSELF as the "Painter of Light." My father thinks it's funny to give me Thomas Kinkade calendars for birthdays and Christmas, which I gleefully alter with acrylics, transforming the idyllic scenes into horrifying spectacles. Cottages destroyed by avalanches, cottages destroyed by massive floods, and cottages destroyed by inferno-like forest fires. I like to mail them to Thomas Kinkade. This is the depth of my loathing for the man.

And now, something I love with almost as much strength and conviction as I hate Thomas Kinkade is being forcibly fucked by Thomas Kinkade: film. It's like there's a particularly bitchy little God up there gunning just for me.

According to the guardian article that superedna posted he heckled by continually yelling "codpiece" from the audience.

Best. Fact. Ever.

It is slightly heartening that his "galleries" regularly go bankrupt. There is some justice in the world after all.

One last thing:

"The No 1 quote critics give me is, 'Thom, your work is irrelevant.' Now, that's a fascinating, fascinating comment. Yes, irrelevant to the little subculture, this microculture, of modern art. But here's the point: My art is relevant because it's relevant to 10 million people. That makes me the most relevant artist in this culture."
Kinkade

What a knob.

In St. Augustine, FL near where I live there are 5, F-I-V-E, Thomas Kinkade galleries. One in each area of the historic district to make sure that every tourist sees a Kinkade gallery. If that doesn't make you worry about the fate of America, then I don't know what will.

I suppose the one consolation if Al Gore's predictions are realized and Florida is drowned when the polar ice caps melt is that much of the Kinkade empire will go with him (assuming you and your family have got out first Stardust Savant). I will see this film under the following circumstances:
It's re-named "Bad Santa 2: The Christmas Cottage"
It's the base that Bad Santa Thornton and Lauren Graham use to fornicate in and from which they run a business sending out trained assassins who are hired to enter office buildings commando-style and mutilate and kill the annoying women in the jingle bell sweaters who bring those Hallmark singing snowmen into the office to "get the Christmas spirit going".

A former co-worker used to be employed at the California factory where this Kinkade glurge is churned out. He told me this guy is all about the $$$. I sometimes imagine that the factory had a secret basement where the 'light' is extracted; something involving steamrollers and the souls of lost children. The news stories about the bizarre behavior don't surprise me - there is obviously some bad illness under that thin coat of paint.

bjs1109 - thanks for the 'Meth Lab in the Woods' -- that is going on the wall in MY secret basement.

We could call ourselves 'Pajibaphiles' -- I live in Utah and I'm not Mormon, so most of my neighbors won't let their kids play with me anyway.

OK- I love you, my fellow Pajibans (or whatever we call ourselves).
The Anne Geddes scary babies movie? Just the idea of that will give me nightmares, so thanks for that.
Pajibill? I love the image of "light extraction" in a dark cellar- very "5,000 Fingers of Dr. T."
And people who use descriptions of themselves in their names are just copycats of "Zamfir- Master of the Pan Flute." You wanna be him, but you can't be him! It is the most beatiful instrument known to man, you know. Maybe he can provide the soundtrack to "The Christmas Cottage."

Painter of Light? Whaa?

Wonder if he's got ground glass in his oil paints, too? Seriously, you can't set up an image of yourself as a commercial whore and then have the nerve to half-thieve a nickname from Rembrandt.

Honestly.

(Unless, of course, "Painter of Light" is short for "Painter of light crap, the artistic equivalent of stale candy floss". That would make sense.)

It's re-named "Bad Santa 2: The Christmas Cottage"...It's the base that Bad Santa Thornton and Lauren Graham use to fornicate in

1) I would pay to see this movie, and then I would buy the DVD.

2) The reason I could never get into watching "Gilmore Girls" is that every time I see Lauren Graham's face, all I can ever think is, "Fuck me Santa--fuck me Santa--fuckmesantafuckmesanta!!"

She's a good actress, though.

Jerce: Do you know how reassuring it is to know that someone out there has the same twisted evil mind as I have? I used to be a big Gilmore Girls fan and then I saw Bad Santa. Now whenever L.G. has a scene with a man, all I can hear is "FuckMeSanta". They had a special Christmas episode this year, and I watched for the whole hour just hoping she'd get some reference in.

This has to be one of the best set of comments for comic timing alone -- I don't laugh out loud easily, and I did about 5 times reading these posts. Thanks, Pajibans!

Anne Geddes: The Movie.

Bwah, hah, hah!

Okay,

Who, What, Huh-huh-huh? This Kincade person is a complete non-entity where I live, and it's really strange and interesting to see such virulent hatred towards someone who are very apparently a domestic celebrity. Wow, I guess some American personalities aren't foisted on the rest of us.

But seriously, not a clue about this guy. 'Painter of Light', what does that even mean? I mean, I understand those words as belonging to the English language, but I'm jiggered if I know how they relate to each other within a sentence. Might as well say 'Yahoo Serious Festival'.

I would also like to add a vote for Bad Santa II: the Christmas Cottage being one of the best movies on Earth were it ever made. Is there someone we can write to to make it happen?

+1 for Pajibafiles. Awesome. Although it is already "Pajibans" in my head :(

"And people who use descriptions of themselves in their names are just copycats of "Zamfir- Master of the Pan Flute." You wanna be him, but you can't be him! It is the most beatiful instrument known to man, you know. Maybe he can provide the soundtrack to "The Christmas Cottage.""

And I am Genevieve Dusquesne, Tamer of Goats (TM).

Ooh, ooh! And I am Ranylt, Killer of Threads (TM). Which sounds way slicker than just, "that thread-killer." I'm going with it.

You know, I'm actually kind of sad that they're going with the "reinfection" plot line for 28 Weeks Later. It could also have been a pretty interesting movie without it, albeit an entirely different genre, looking at the difficulties of rebuilding society...whatever. I'm also psyched about zombies, in the end. Though as an infectious disease student, I'm really wondering how they're going to stretch to explain that reinfection bit. It could have been a pretty similar movie as a prequel without having to mess with that, though I guess the name 28 Days was already taken.

i think it looks pretty cool tho, i loved 28 Days Later, that movie is so haunting i still remember scenes from it every once in awhile...that is a REAL horror movie to me...

The premise for the film could be how my stepmother hung up 3 thomas kinkades when she moved in and how I wanted to kill her for it. Eli Roth could do it.

I've met Mr. Kinkade--I prefer to call him The Painter of Trite--when his firm did business with my employer at the time.

He is an entirely ordinary fellow, if a tad too well-groomed. Like many adamantly professed Christians, he was not particularly warm or friendly. He quite comfortably inhabits the feel-good aspirational midwestern/southern evangelical Republican capitalist commercial space.

Being ordinary, his principle motivations would indeed be base.

He is a talented illustrator, and has hooked up with Amway-minded business folk who forged (cough) his commercial empire of franchise mall stores and direct marketing distribution.

In his early career he often painted subjects to peddle to specific subgroups of the same American Bougouise: Lions Club meeting houses, for example, lithos of which would then be target-marketed by mail and print ads to relevant membership/subscription lists.

But even then I was struck my the incongruities. I had a business meeting with his principle print distribution partner at the time, Ken Rausch, who chose as a venue a restaurant/strip club not too far outside of Sacramento.

Anyway, the movie makes perfect sense when you understand his business model. Think of the kerjillions that the group that constitutes his fan base poured into seeing 'The Passion of the Christ.' Where there's a flock, there's fleecing. Kincade and his investors/partners simply must have some of it.

Think of the tie-ins.

Brace yourself.

Another kick-ass comments section, even if I'm among the ranks of non-Americans with no previous experience with the painter guy.

But please: if any of you illuminated Pajibans are still reading this thread: The quote from "Fight Club", what does it mean?? In the comments on IMDb there are a lot of explanations, one dumber than the other.

Help...? Anyone...?

Btw, I would definitely buy the T-shirt!

My friend has a couple Kincades in her house and they never fail to remind me of Handsel and Gretel. These cottages are so idealic, they must contain flesh-eating witches.

I thought Thomas Kinkade was only responsible for those 5 dollar jigsaw puzzles at Target.
Wow, the dude has calendars and umbrellas too! I feel appropriately humbled and spanked by the knowledge.

I never even heard of Thomas Kincaid until recently, but realized I have seen his work. I can see the reason for hating how commercial his artwork has become, but why such hatred? I think his paintings are beautiful, but it does seem like they are all the same or very similar. I'm not sure I would put one on my wall, but I have in the past picked out Christmas cards with his artwork, not knowing it was his. But why such hatred? OMG, lighten up!