Pajiba

Space Chimps.

I thought the ban was on ANY news about her (or the other two).

Who the hell comes up with these directors for these movies? Is it a raffle? Dartboard? What? I know that pretty much all the people actually involved with greenlighting films have never played a video game in their life, and can only remember something vaguely about kids and Gameboy and bopping monsters. But could they at least try to act like they learned from the myriad other films based on video games that failed?

"I Know Who Killed Me" is just the story of what happened to Lindsay Lohan (and Lindsay Lohan) if she'd never taken the roles of the separated-at-birth twin girls who went to summer camp when they were 11, met each other and then conspired to reconcile their estranged parents.

Can we now, once and for all, finally declare whatever "career" Lindsay Lohan might have had at one time is now dead? Please? That trailer was excruciating.

Bleh....watching that trailer made me throw up in my mouth a little. Every line she delivered, I kept thinking "she is recovering from a really bad hangover."

I would ask how in hell she keeps getting parts, but since earlier this week, you told us of a new Jessica Simpson film....well..frankly Lohan looks like friggin' Olivier compared with Simpson so I suppose the answer is that that the bar really is set that low in Hollywood these days.

Oh and I forgot, you can just see the pitch:
"Chimps! They're the new Penguins! And if we use CGI that nasty Jane Goodall won't come after us".

While Space Chimps sounds terrible, I think I'd rather see that than I Know Who Killed Me. At least there is a small chance that it will be funny and that trailer looked AWFUL.

Making video games into movies has such a horrible track record (Ex. DOA, BloodRayne, Mortal Kombat, DOOM - the BFG wasn't even used to shoot anyone and that wasn't the worst part), why do the studios insist upon continuously beating us to death w/this garbage?

I have a tested IQ of 136 (by tested I mean I thought of a number between 120 and 150 and determined that number was my IQ for the purposes of this comment) and am continuously disappointed by the crap that they put out to "entertain" us with. Gotta go, I'm off to take another IQ test (I have a feeling my score's going to improve - unless I go to the movies).

The horribleness of the trailer aside, does anyone else think it's weird to see Lohan in an actual movie? I saw Mean Girls what seems like a decade ago, and Im just so used to her being a tabloid star I actually keep forgetting she's an "actress."

I don't understand why they would cast her. I mean fair enough hire a talentless wreck who's actually going to draw people to the box office. But LaLohan drives people away. I fail to see the logic here.

Maybe it's because I'm not on large amounts of crack.

If the eighties rape trend finally results in a better live-action movie based on Dungeons & Dragons before 2010, I'll die happy. I guess. As long as they don't cast Jeremy Irons or Marlon Wayans again.

And if that's not going to happen, I'm rooting for Teddy Ruxpin.

Is it me, or does that trailer practically spoil the whole movie?

Alex The Odd: My theory is that Lohan has powers like that chick who was killed off mid-season in Heroes who could make people do things they didn't want to. How else do you explain Altman casting her in Prairie Home Companion and allowng her to sing in that film? Of course, I use the verb "sing" in its loosest possible form.

didn't they already do Teddy Ruxpin? oh no, nevermind, that was Child's Play.

I am waiting for "Burger Time: The Movie".

I have no comments about Chimps or Lohan. Both leave me speechless make my stomach swirl.

PaddyDog: Previously I would have given the explanation of "large amounts of crack" but you do have an interesting point. It would also explain the recording contract.

"you should be dead by now"

shouldn't Lohan's career be dead by now? I mean what is keeping that beer-basted bimbo in film?

maybe one day i'll be a hot girl and skate by in multi-million dollar films which i'll carefully deliver each line the exact same way, putting on, of course, the bare minimum of emotional stereotypes.

alas I am a geeky male, i guess i'll just have to try to get by on my talent, go figure.

Oh no, they're going to desecrate Castlevania? Bastards!

Oh no, they're going to desecrate Castlevania? Bastards!

Is this movie based on the old Muppets routine Pigs in Space?

It pains me to see that Neal McDonough from "Band of Brothers" is in this POS. Blohan is truly terrible . . . just a terrible, terrible actor. Not Joshua-Jackson-bad, but bad.

Any chance "Space Chimps" gets the kind of vibe "The Incredibles" had and ends up being entertaining? No? No chance? Okay, yeah, that was a stupid idea.

Is this movie based on the old Muppets routine Pigs in Space?

No, because then it might have the smallest hope of being funny.

I miss the old school muppets :(

I wish someone would resurrect Pee Wee Herman's career, I love that guy (I just wouldn't want to sit next to him in a movie theater.)

Mary, your command is my wish: There's a movie version of Pee-Wee's Playhouse in pre-production right now.

No instant gratification (at least not for you; Pee-Wee can always run down to the local cinema), but it's in the works.

When I read Chimps in Space, I was thinking something along the lines of The Chimp Channel which used to air on TBS. Does anyone else remember that or did I accidentally smoke crack again? I remember sitting around totally sober and laughing like an asshole at this show featuring live action chimps running a tv station.

Anyway, live action chimps are funny, animated chimps are for saturday morning cartoons.

What I don't understand is how Ms. Lohan hoodwinks intelligent, powerful women into working with, and sticking up for her, (Tina Fey, Meryl Streep, Jane Fonda) chick has some kind of powerful voodoo.

"I miss the old school muppets :("

Oh God, you and me both, Alex. I was just watching "Muppets take Manhattan" a few weeks ago, and more than anything, it now just makes me depressed that they're no longer around. Not in the same sense, at least.

I guess the main motivation behind whomever gave the green light for the Lohan movie was to, uh, get her to pole dance? But doesn't she do that anyway when she gets wasted at whatever trendy club she frequents at the moment? It looks beyond horrible. Skin-a-max material all the way.

There's a PeeWee resurrection in the works?

LONG LIVE JAMBI!

Blue Man Group. Eurythmics. Jeff Daniels. Aliens. Samberg.

You're shitting us, right?

I'm sorry, as a loyal reader, I have to say one thing: I fucking love Laser Cats.

JEFF DANIELS, WHY?????????

My husband is a very intelligent man, but damn if he isn't a sucker for chimps. He'd probably be up for Chimps in Space based on that alone. He also has long believed that there needs to be an all chimp all the time cable station. They would show any movies and TV shows that have at one point had a chimp scene or plot line, and all of the commercials would be ones with chimps. When you start thinking about it, and watching for it, you'll be surprised to see how many beloved past and present TV shows have a chimp episode.

Sounds about as good as Death Bed: The Bed that Eats People

I'm not going to comment on the void of talent occupying LiLo's (is that term now too endearing for her?) vacant skull, nor am I going to dwell on her party habits. All I ask is:

Will someone give her a goddamn lozenge already?

redkitten, you're not crazy. I was thinking of the same thing. You can still catch them late at night sometimes. Real chimps as people is always comedy gold.

Is it just me, or does Lindsay Lohan make Madonna look like a good actress? I just can't stomach looking at these stupid little girls. Ugh!

Jesus, is she pulling out that old Look!-I'm-such-a-good-actress-I-can-play-twins trick again?

Jesus, is she pulling out that old Look!-I'm-such-a-good-actress-I-can-play-twins trick again?

Does anyone else notice that the music at the end of that person's trailer sounds a lot like the 28 Days/Weeks Later theme music? I wish with all of my made-of-flint heart that a rage infected neo-zombie would end it all for her.

You know, it irritates me to see Lohan's success for all the aforementioned reasons. But also; I'm a pretty red-headed girl of almost exactly the same age, who doesn't sound like she eats cigarettes, who doesn't have a drug or alcohol problem, and who doesn't go out in public without appropriate undergarments. Where the fuck is my movie deal? Goddamnit, I've got student loans I have to start paying off in about 18 months, I want the $5 million pay day for skulking around a set and acting affected.

*ahem* I'm sorry. Won't happen again, I promise.

Space Chimps sound nauseating. My Netflix subscription is proving to be a better investment than I ever thought, given the crap they're releasing in theaters now.

are you sure you didnt make space chimps up? that sounds too amazing to be true. blue man group? seriously? dont they have a show or something?

although, i have to say, i thought laser cats was hilarious...i still think the only good part of snl are the shorts.

As a gamer and filmgoer, I feel that the Resident Evil Movies and the first Mortal Kombat were fun bits of cinema that adapted the good parts from their source material without being too direct (which is what happened with the 2nd Mortal Kombat). At least Anderson doesn't tend to go all Uwe Boll and radically mess with the films' material/setting and cast the worst possible actors, thereby offending both moviegoers and gamers. I guess my point is it could be worse.

Blue Man Group. Eurythmics. Jeff Daniels. Aliens. Samberg...wealtheow you beat me to it. Wha???? The Dude has offically left the building.
And Alex, I too miss my Muppets. I always loved Animal and the Sweedish Chef and his chickens! Ahh....good times.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: all this Lohan hating won't stop me from inexplicably adoring her. So shun me. I think it's become passe to bash on these celebrities. It only fans the attention flames.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: all this Lohan hating won't stop me from inexplicably adoring her. So shun me. I think it's become passe to bash on these celebrities. It only fans the attention flames.

Oh God, you and me both, Alex. I was just watching "Muppets take Manhattan" a few weeks ago, and more than anything, it now just makes me depressed that they're no longer around. Not in the same sense, at least.

I feel for you em, I really do. I can't even watch the movies they make me too depressed. One of my most treasured posessions remains the Muppet Show Book which I remember finding in my dad's house at a youngish age and stealing. When even the muppets have become corporate whores you really have to start worrying about the state of the world.

Good Lord, is the song in the beginning of the Lohan Snuff Film trailer "Angel" by Massive Attack? There should be a law against associating good music with her crappy movies. Make her sing the soundtrack or something.

Forget Lohan having special powers, I think Andy Samberg has special powers. How else does one explain him getting the Blue Man Group, Dave Stewart, and Jeff Daniels to work with him on a movie about space chimps fighting space aliens?

That looks really awful. On the upside, that baddy looks like Sylar from Heroes, so maybe he'll open up her head and eat her brains. Though he'll probably catch mad cow disease or something.

Am I the only person bothered, more than anything else, about the trailer using "In the House (In a Hearbeat)" from 28 Days Later?
The movie is reminding me slightly of Perfect Blue as well. So that's two good films Lohan is in danger of tainting with this latest outing.

does it bother no one else that she says "i know who killed me"? that annoys the hell out of me. she's not dead yet for god's sake! if she'd said "i know who will kill me" or "i know who's going to kill me" i wouldn't have been as frustrated. i guess sensationalist titles trump logic in hollywood.

Man, I want Castlevania to be good. I really do, I know it won't. but I loved the game(s) so much, and It has such good potential for a kickass movie, but I know they will fuck it up.

Also, I agree, oldschool muppets were the bomb. Oh and fuck lohan and all her ilk