In my own experience, I’ve learned that, by and large, life is about gradual realizations; we slowly discover a lot about ourselves over the course of years and decades spent in school and in work, falling in and out of love, moving in and out with friends and lovers, and, eventually, for many of us, in becoming a parent. But in the death of a close one — a spouse, parent, sibling, best friend or, god forbid, a child — self-realizations come painfully quick and they shine bright, swallowing you up whole in their radiant misery. Putting aside the intense feelings of loss — the vacancy that opens up in your world — there’s also the matter of coping, and in death, you figure out real goddamn quick what kind of mourner you are. A decade ago, when my father Ledgered himself (it’s so nice to have a nice pop-culture reference now, thanks Heath!), I realized almost instantly that I was one of those denial motherfuckers, the sort who can make 20 intensely uncomfortable wisecracks before the body stops twitching, and then go on acting like it never happened.
But then there was the service — now, there’s a day in your life that gets seared inexorably into your memory like a wet footprint that never dries. In my case, we were unable to afford an actual funeral, but a local parlor was nice enough to lay my Pops down on a steel table for a few hours so we could look at the man before they threw him in the oven. Thinking I could somehow beat the system and keep that asshole alive in my mind, I flat-out refused to walk in, instead choosing to stand outside the door of a small room while my siblings walked in and took turns weeping over the man’s corpse. But, damned if they didn’t leave the door open just a crack. And now, the lasting image I have of my father is not of him waving goodbye from behind a screen door as I drove off to law school. Nope. It’s the foot I glimpsed from between that gap in the door — the goddamn four-year-old Payless fake leather high-top sneaker he was wearing, toe pointed straight up.
And then … and then, there are all those deeply sympathetic things people like to say when they’re trying to make you feel better after a loss. I know it comes from a good place and all, but here’s some advice: Put a lid on it, all right? That shit is empty. When I was going through it, I didn’t want to hear, “He’s in a better place now,” because, first of all, don’t try to minimize my pain, asshole; second of all, if you’re religious, you goddamn know good and well he’s not in a better place, unless they’ve made some significant upgrades in hell I hadn’t heard about; and third, if you’re not religious, then you’re a literalist, and that better place is apparently a cardboard box sitting in the back seat of my sister’s car because we couldn’t afford an urn, so shut the fuck up, already.
See: We each grieve in our own ways.
At least in its embodiment, manifested throughout the first season, that’s what “Six Feet Under” was all about: The different ways in which people deal with grief. Any fan of “SFU” will probably tell you that the end of the series finale was, and may always be, the most emotionally wracking five minutes in television history, something I can write without an ounce of hyperbole. But, to get to Sia Furler and “Breathe Me,” we had to endure seasons two through five. While there were flashes of brilliance in all four of them (and the last three episodes were the series’ best), most of those seasons were wildly uneven, sometimes overly melodramatic, and sometimes horribly bleak or painfully grating, as in the case of almost all of Lili Taylor’s story arc, an entire season-and-a-half I wish they could do over, but for the part where Lili’s character dies, the happiest moment of the entire run, at least for the viewer (don’t get me wrong, I love Lili Taylor, but her character may go down in the all-time annals of television buzzkills).
That first season, however, was almost perfect, precisely the show that Alan Ball (screenwriter, American Beauty) set out to make, one that focused equally on 1) the Fisher family and their grief after the family patriarch succumbed to the business end of a city bus, and 2) the bodies they buried and their survivors, the loved ones to whom they sold coffins. Indeed, buried (*cringe*) beneath the conventional family drama, “Six Feet Under” was the best examination of death ever put on the small screen.
At the center of “Six Feet Under” was Fisher & Sons, a family-run, independent mortuary in suburban Los Angeles. A character-driven drama, the family and their defining characteristics were almost entirely revealed in the pilot episode: Ruth Fisher (Frances Conroy) was the stern matriarch with a deeply repressed Id; David Fisher (Michael C. Hall), the closeted funeral director, was Ruth’s repression borne out, while his brother, Nate (Peter Krause), epitomized Ruth’s inner wild streak. David and Nate were polar opposites: Nate a liberated free spirit trying to find his way back into the stability of the cage, and David a reticent, corked-up tight-ass dying to crawl out from under his own skin and unleash his libido on half of the gay citizenry of L.A. And then there was Claire Fisher (Lauren Ambrose), the forgotten teenager; angsty and insecure, Claire personified all that Ball didn’t get to say about the evils of suburbia in American Beauty. The other main characters, at least in the first season, were: Brenda (Rachel Griffiths), Nate’s girlfriend, a former child genius and the self-destructive product of an unrelentingly dysfunctional family; Billy (Jeremy Sisto), Brenda’s bipolar brother; Frederico (Freddy Rodriguez), a brilliant restorative artist with a very unwaveringly traditional sense of morality; and finally, Keith (Mathew St. Patrick), David’s temperamental on-again off-again lover.
Each episode began with a death (starting with Nathaniel Fisher, Sr. in the pilot), and the rest of the episode would explore its repercussions, how it affected the survivors, and how, thematically, the expiration of that life played into the lives of the Fisher family. In later seasons, this conceit was largely abandoned in favor of focusing primarily on the family traumas, each season seemingly following one or more of the major characters into their downward spirals, as Ball and Co. amped up everything by hundreds of decibels, discarding the character’s moral centers and involving them in threesomes, orgies, abductions, and wildly unbelievable affairs, unwisely turning the show’s focus onto Ball’s apparent obsession with sex.
That’s why re-watching Season One again is so refreshing. It was simpler, tightly focused on the family coming to terms with Nathaniel’s death and the realizations they made about themselves while grappling with questions of a philosophical and religious nature, though it is — at times — hard to watch, knowing what you know about the characters’ ultimate fates (Nate’s was sealed in the last episode, when his brain tumor was revealed). That season also explored Death as an Industry, the cold business of dying — the financial exploitation, the detached corporate franchising and the cookie-cutter, assembly-line processing of corpses.
But we also got a tasting menu of the different kinds of grief put on display by the family: David bottled his in, Claire coped with drugs, and Ruth spent a lot of her time alternating between catatonia and inappropriate outbursts, at one time calmly stating, “Your father is dead and my pot roast is ruined,” while at another, screaming, “I’m not fine. I’m a whore!” Nate was probably the character most people identified with, or at least I did, and his take on grief was exemplified daringly during his father’s funeral when he refused to shake salt on his coffin: “What is this stupid salt shaker … fuck tradition! He was our father! I intend to honor the old bastard by showing the world just how fucked up and shitty I feel because he’s dead.”
Aside from one of the better pilot episodes I’ve seen, Season One also featured the shooting death of a gang member, which convinced the religiously conservative David to own his homosexuality, and the curbing hate-murder of a gay teenager, which prompted David to come out of the closet to his mother (after attacking a Fred Phelps-like protestor at the funeral). In fact, David’s story arc was the first season’s strongest, as we watched him slowly come out of his shell and stop hating himself for being gay. My favorite episode, however, was “The Room,” where an elderly man lost his wife of 56 years and couldn’t bring himself to sleep alone, so he slept next to his wife’s coffin and, ultimately, wound up dying while holding her hand right there in the funeral home, a scene that will jerk the tears right out of your fucking eyes.
The first season was not entirely without its drawbacks, however. While I initially loved the anti-relationship between Nate and Brenda (no two people were ever meant not to be together more), the entire Billy ordeal and Brenda’s skeevy sibling relationship — which clung to the entire series’ run — annoyed me endlessly, if only because it distracted attention away from the issues that mattered to me most, namely the show’s preoccupation with both the irony of life and the grieving process.
Indeed, the show was at its best when it focused simply on the deaths — when it used the loss of life to prove a point about living. Like no other show before or since, “Six Feet Under” confronted death head on, splintering taboos, and taking a hundred different maxims and extracting all the cliché out of them, making us appreciate what death meant without the torture of “He’s in a better place now.” In fact, in the final episode of that season, Nate offered up the best thing I think anyone has ever said about dying, something that — ten years after my own father’s passing — still manages to offer me a small amount of consolation. When a hysterical woman asked Nate, “Why do people die?” he paused briefly, and then offered the perfect rejoinder: “To make life important.”
How unbelievably true is that?
Dustin Rowles is the publisher of Pajiba. He lives with his wife and son in Ithaca, New York. You may email him, or leave a comment below.
The Return of Jezebel James | | Pajiba Love 03/18/08
Comments
Before I read this - the link on th picture doesn't work, it is just six-feet-under.htm, missing the season one part. Read review link works
Posted by: Brian at March 18, 2008 2:07 PM
When a hysterical woman asked Nate, "Why do people die?" he paused briefly, and then offered the perfect rejoinder: "To make life important."
That was, and remains to be one of my favorite lines from any episode of any show. So simple and so true. My mother is a hospice nurse and she sees the embodiment of that statement every day...the family and friends of the dying finding solace through each other and through the necessity of making their moments count.
I loved this show. Though I couldn't identify with a singular character, there was such humanity to them that I could find something in Nate, in David, in Claire that I could connect with. Great review Dustin.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 2:13 PM
Wonderful review, and SFU is definitely deserving to be among the top 15. This show genuinely made me consider death in new ways, and even though it might sound silly to say that about a tv show, there you have it.
Posted by: lola o at March 18, 2008 2:15 PM
Le sigh. Another show I have never seen a single minute of. I'm wondering whether any of the 15 will actually be shows I've seen? If you're going back 20 years, there's gonna have to be something I've seen, right? I've watched a good amount of television since I was ten years old, but most of it's been old, strange, bad, or foreign. I am such a Weirdy McGee.
Posted by: Sarina at March 18, 2008 2:15 PM
I was one of those who had no HBO (or even television) at the time, so I never got to see any of the episodes (and still haven't). The entire series has been languishing in my queue for months now, but I'm definitely moving it up after this.
Fantastic writing, as always.
Posted by: llism at March 18, 2008 2:17 PM
I watched SFU sporadically. I have seen the ending numerous times though and I cannot think of a better way for this show to have ended.
It was a great show.
Posted by: Melody at March 18, 2008 2:17 PM
It's been a while now since I last saw season one. I agree reluctantly the show reached levels there it only sporadically revisited afterwards.
Highlights: Claire's boyfriend Gabe (Eric Balfour has never been better), the cold opener of the guy that gets smacked in the head with the frying pan and the whole hate crime episode, as already referenced by Dustin in the review.
Powerful stuff, of which sometimes glimpses were seen later on, mostly involving David, arguably the central character of the series.
Posted by: Adere at March 18, 2008 2:33 PM
this article is a beautiful tribute to a show that was great enough to ruin all other television shows for me.
ruth fisher is my favourite television character ever; it was fascinating to watch her develop over the years. the women on this show were complex, funny, smart, faulty and lovely in a way that is sadly missing on television.
Posted by: celery at March 18, 2008 2:47 PM
So true about the idiotic things people say to you about a death. When my father died, 31 years ago, a nun came up to me in his hospital room (he was dead about half an hour and seriously not yet cold so a tough thing for a 12 year old to process) and told me to take great joy in the fact that "he made a lovely corpse".
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 18, 2008 2:49 PM
I really enjoyed this review. I had sort of forgotten how much I enjoyed the first season. I got more and more disinterested throughout Season 2 and just gave up early in Season 3. (Although, images from the episode that really impacted me - The Invisible Woman in Season 2 - still pop into my head whenever I see Frances Conroy.) But, that first season was just fantastic. Eventually I'll watch the series finale, but don't even have a desire to see the rest of the episodes I missed.
Posted by: Smello at March 18, 2008 2:50 PM
i didn't have HBO either, so i missed out on six feet under (not a good excuse as i've seen every season of the sopranos and sex and the city). i caught a few reruns here and there on whatever channel was showing them and didn't realize until too late that i watched the series finale. but what i have seen, i've enjoyed so i guess i need to move it on up the queue.
Posted by: kelley at March 18, 2008 2:52 PM
Jesus Paddy...that's reprehensible.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 2:54 PM
I agree that Season 1 was the best season but the rest of the series was still vastly superior to a large majority of the dreck on tv. I watched and enjoyed every single episode (well, may not "That's my dog") cry when I think about the finale.
And much as I love Dexter, he's no David Fisher.
Posted by: Patti at March 18, 2008 2:55 PM
Well, well written.
When I watched SFU, I felt like the Fishers were my family. Although I was initially creeped out by David's story line, his became my favorite. I guess it brought out everything in myself that I repress. By the time Nate died, I disliked him quite a bit but I still bawled. I sat there sobbing and I know my husband thought I was nuts.
Thanks for letting me relive some of that!
Posted by: Sharon at March 18, 2008 2:57 PM
Wow, double post...I'm such a loser.
Paddy...nuns are evil. What a horrible thing to say.
Posted by: Patti at March 18, 2008 2:57 PM
SFU was absolutely wonderful. Celery, I agree. Ruth was incredibly and, sadly, one of very few non-clownish older women on TV.
Also, watching Dexter reminded me of what a kick-ass actor Michael C. Hall is. He truly seems like two different people between SFU/Dexter.
Posted by: samantha t at March 18, 2008 2:59 PM
One of my favorite moments from that first season was when Brenda made Nate take David on the bus that hit their father. Even thinking about that scene makes me weep.
Posted by: Andrew at March 18, 2008 3:00 PM
This review prompts me to add yet another item to my queue. Damn, Pajiba, why aren't Netflix one of your advertisers? You give them a ton of business, I'm sure.
When my father died a decade ago I heard all the platitudes and found them completely the opposite of comforting. While complaining about this to a friend she said, "This is the best people can do. We don't know how to grieve."
Posted by: minorblue at March 18, 2008 3:01 PM
Oh Paddy, that is such a typical kind of crazy-ass thing for an Irish nun to say. When I was six, I asked a nun (who I later found out had been my mother's Latin teacher) if we had all been made in the image of God, why we didn't all look the same. She leaned down to me and yelled right in my six year old face, "DON'T YOU PRESUME TO KNOW THE MANY FACES OF GOD, CHILD!" I've since been told that I scrunched up my face at her and told her she should maybe read the Bible again because she seemed to miss the point, and then I asked her if she wanted some gum.
I got kicked out of Sunday School a lot.
Posted by: Sarina at March 18, 2008 3:03 PM
Also, watching Dexter reminded me of what a kick-ass actor Michael C. Hall is. He truly seems like two different people between SFU/Dexter.
He really is one of the most insanely talented actors working right now. David Fisher was one of the most complex and interesting characters ever...my best friend started watching the show after me, and when he mentioned how much he hated David, I told him to give it a few episodes. He did, and confessed that David became his favorite. He was so droll and yet so funny and irreverant, anxious but brave and sometimes spontaneous, impatient and yet so kind...love him.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 3:04 PM
One more thing. Does anyone know if the line referenced in the review ('...making life more important') is a paraphrase of a Viriginia Woolf quote? I ask because in THE HOURS, there's a scene between Woolf and her husband when he asks her why a character in her book must die and her response is practically identical to that. Don't know if that's the screenwriter, Michael Cunningham or Woolf.
Posted by: Andrew at March 18, 2008 3:05 PM
I loved the first season, but lost interest after that. I did like the plot structure of starting with a death and following through with that. I lost interest when it just became a soap opera.
Posted by: BWeaves at March 18, 2008 3:06 PM
I can't remember if it was Season 1 but there's an episode where Nate, the son, discovers that his father had a whole secret life- he traded funerals for favors, he smoked pot, he rented a sad little room behind a storefront with a couch, stereo and tv, he kept took (and kept) photos of their mom when she was young... It was just a lovely analogy for how parents are not quite real people to us until we're older and/or they're gone.
That episode epitomized everything good about Six Feet Under- good writing, acting, casting and even a story that lingers in your mind.
Posted by: Amanda47 at March 18, 2008 3:08 PM
Paddy, that is awful.
I have always hated the statement "They look so natural" that is often said at funerals. No they don't so do everyone a favor and don't say it.
HBO has had some fantastic shows over the years.
Posted by: Melody at March 18, 2008 3:12 PM
I'm kind of glad I'm only just started watching SFU. I'm going to be a hermit for the next few weeks while I go through the entire series. I can't wait. I've heard so many good things about this show.
Thanks, as always, for the great review Dustin.
Posted by: Wormer at March 18, 2008 3:17 PM
HBO has had some fantastic shows over the years.
Cough DEADWOOD cough. I miss it so.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 3:17 PM
Melody:
You're so right, and I never understood the need to comment on how the corpse looks. I mean, it's a corpse. If it doesn't look downright dead, then maybe we shouldn't be burying him/her, right? At least in all their medieval ignorance, the folks of the middle ages understood that. Don't get me started on the practice of putting make up on corpses...because I don't have the breath for such a rant right now.
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 18, 2008 3:19 PM
Julie, for me it was always The Sopranos, specifically seasons 1, 2, and 5.
Livia was so awesome.
Posted by: Melody at March 18, 2008 3:22 PM
Great review. Great show. Even in its uneven years, I stayed with it and was glad I did although the plots could be infuriating and even repetitive. The core characters kept me coming back and it had the best last five minutes of a series finale ever. Keith was pretty to look at too - yum.
Posted by: jen310 at March 18, 2008 3:23 PM
FUCK.
I love Six Feet Under. For about five months all I did was watch and rewatch SFU episodes. Every character has his or her moment but Ruth Fisher was by far the best. Her screaming outbursts had everything. Small angry tears. Random pots or juice thrown on the counter. Sharp screaming.
Maybe I'm too much like her. Although, if I became her twenty years from now, I'm not sure how thrilled I'd be that I didn't change.
Fuck. SFU, one of HBO's finest pieces of work.
Posted by: Soto at March 18, 2008 3:23 PM
Corpses either look nothing like the person or too eerily like they're sleeping. Back in December one of my grandfather's cousins remarked to my grandmom how great he looked, and it was SUCH an obvious lie. He looked like shit. He looked small and thin, like the cancer had eaten away his joy. Not like Pat at all...stupid. Stupid version of Pat.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 3:24 PM
I know this is getting away from the first season, but I wholeheartedly agree with what Dustin said about the final five minutes of this show's run--it literally took my breath away (and invaded my tear ducts). While the first season is what inspired me to watch what followed, the payoff at the end is what ultimately made it worth it.
Posted by: birdgal at March 18, 2008 3:24 PM
Julie, for me it was always The Sopranos, specifically seasons 1, 2, and 5.
Livia was so awesome.
So. Effing. True. The show lost some of its spark when Nancy Marchand died.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 3:26 PM
"Don't get me started on the practice of putting make up on corpses...because I don't have the breath for such a rant right now."
Word. If anyone ever paints up my dessicated corpse like a two dollar hooker so they can prop me in a box in a room full of people, so help me I will come back from the dead just to kick them in the nuts.
Posted by: Sarina at March 18, 2008 3:27 PM
Oh man, I loved the first season of this show. My friends and I were such SFU freaks that we went and took millions of pictures of ourselves outside the Fisher house in LA last year. Even though it's a private residence. And that's my boring, geeky SFU story.
Posted by: Gudrun at March 18, 2008 3:42 PM
Ah, Six Feet Under. My parents started watching it before I did, then stopped after season two for some reason. Last year, I began re watching most of the show with my folks, but sadly I did not get to relive the magnificent first season. That and Veronica Mars were the two pilot episodes that within ten minutes pulled me in and made me an addict.
Posted by: Kamakazi Feminist at March 18, 2008 3:55 PM
Loved this review, loved this show.
The series finale made me cry harder than I have in years, and every time I hear Sia's "Breathe", I get a little misty!
You've made me want to watch the whole thing over again.
Posted by: Kelsey at March 18, 2008 3:59 PM
Patti: I watched and enjoyed every single episode (well, may not "That's my dog")
If this is not in your top three of most unsettling and intense SFU episodes, you can't call yourself a fan. Doesn't mean you can't hate it.
Amanda47: I can't remember if it was Season 1 but there's an episode where Nate, the son, discovers that his father had a whole secret life
Yep that was season 1, Dustin mentioned it in his review as his favorite.
Posted by: Adere at March 18, 2008 4:16 PM
I was so glad to read Dustin's comments about Lili Taylor's character. I was a huge SFU fan, but I detested her character. Every episode she appeared in left me in a rage.
Posted by: StephanieS at March 18, 2008 4:27 PM
when he refused to shake salt on his coffin
I don't think it was salt, is was dirt, just in a tasteful, clean manor. Which would cause him to freak out even more.
I loved this season. First DVD on TV set I bought (I think). It got really weird as it progressed. I did like the book Nate's niece suggested later on.
Was the episode where Claire loses the foot in the 1st season?
Posted by: Brian at March 18, 2008 4:29 PM
"Was the episode where Claire loses the foot in the 1st season?"
Yup!
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 4:34 PM
We were at a friends house for dinner when the finale aired so we moved dessert into the living room to watch it.
I would have found it very sad and poignant had my mother, a bit of a Ruth Fisher clone who doesn't have HBO, not asked "So does a family member die in every episode?" which I found funny and relieved us all.
Julie I think Hospice workers and many nurses in general are angels among us.
Posted by: Amanda47 at March 18, 2008 4:37 PM
Six Feet Under aired about six months after my dad died in a freak motorcycle accident which coincidentally happened the day after I graduated from college. I think it(SFU) was one thing that kept me sane because I really thought I was going to lose it for a brief stretch--acting out in every way imaginable to feel alive, to thumb my nose at death and to say "fuck you" to my dad for "leaving me"(you know, the typical things). There was such a truth in the writing that still makes me break down a little. Sure there were a few gimmicks and plot lines that were a little off but damn it if most of the time I was wondering, "Do they have a video camera in this house?"
Posted by: Melina at March 18, 2008 4:38 PM
Julie I think Hospice workers and many nurses in general are angels among us.
I think so too :) She loves her job so much, she just adores how much interaction she gets with the patients and their families. It's tough though when she has a patient for a long time, she's made some good friends who have died in the 6 years she's been doing this.
It's so weird though, she can predict exactly when a patient will die with startling accuracy...I'll ask about one of them and she'll say "Oh, he'll probably go around 2:00 tomorrow." And he will.
She's not allowed near me if I get a terminal disease.
Posted by: Julie at March 18, 2008 4:49 PM
Oh, man, Smello, you just HAD to mention 'The Invisible Woman', didn't you? That was probably my favorite episode ever, but I don't know that I could watch it again. For offline introverts, it hits way too close to home.
Posted by: jeem at March 18, 2008 4:49 PM
The thing with SFU is how much of a caricature everyone else is - the jilted fiancee, the histrionic gold-digging whore, the crazy bi college boyfriend. And everyone else knows this, everyone watching can figure it out clear as day, except the main characters. And that's what drove me crazy. That we all knew, but the Fischers didn't. That they had to figure it out for themselves.
Posted by: Ina at March 18, 2008 4:54 PM
True Blood.
So obsessed already.
Posted by: slightlyfeyt at March 18, 2008 4:55 PM
I hadn't recalled that quote at the end of your review, though I was a big SFU (glad no T there) fan. It is so so so true.
My father died suddenly right before SFU ended. It took me a long time time to be able to watch the final episode.
Side Note: I got into Mythbusters right around then since I couldn't handle anything heavy or dramatic. [let's blow something up - yay!]
Not sure which season this was in, but Rainn Wilson was so fabulous as the young undertaker who has (?) a fling with Ruth.
Posted by: mswas at March 18, 2008 5:24 PM
Dude, with posts like this, those christians at that comic book blog are going to come back.
Posted by: hater from siloam springs at March 18, 2008 6:46 PM
Love, love, love this show. Thank you Dustin, for calling attention to it and writing such a lovely review.
Too lazy to scroll up, but I agree with the person who disliked Nate toward the end. He took some dark turns that really turned me off- especially in the episode about his Birthday party. His reaction to the renegade blue-bird creeped me the fuck out. And sure, Brenda was a train-wreck who had committed (arguably more than) her share of sins, but I loved her anyway, dammit. I sympathized with her struggle to get her feet on the ground. So dumping her for that lame, martyrish Quaker? Uh-uh. Not cool. Don't get it.
I agree that Lily Taylor's character was frustrating and irritating, but man- her death and its aftermath really haunted me. All those weeks of having no idea what happened, and then- [SPOLIER!] I don't think I'll ever get over the image of Nate emptying her remains into the grave. Or her brother in law's confession. Guh. [END SPOILER!]
On the flip side, I adored Ruth and David. Whenever the show got soapy, I really didn't mind- because I loved watching Ruth and David figuring themselves out so damn much. In the beginning, they were grating as hell, but they gave us these little glimpses of their inner goodness to keep us hooked. By the time they finally came into their own, I was just so damn happy for them!
Oh, and "That's my Dog" is one of the best episodes of the entire series. But I haven't been able to bring myself to watch it a second time. Not without a lot of booze to take the edge off. Which is a bad sign. So I don't watch.
le sigh- okay, I'm done now. Guess which DVD's I'll be watching tonight.
Posted by: ShinyKate at March 18, 2008 6:46 PM
Holy shit! Arthur C. Clarke is dead. This is one of the few places I can post this information and know that people will know who he is. RIP.
Posted by: PaddyDog at March 18, 2008 7:31 PM
Arthur Clarke's dead? Oh, sad...I loved his books. Rest in Piece...
Damn...why are the good authors dropping dead here recently?
Posted by: Shadows of Dakaron at March 18, 2008 7:49 PM
I. LOVE. THIS. SHOW.
Gahh. Spot on. The first season is almost searingly brilliant. It's so tightly focused, but more than anything it's so, so, so, so ripe with potential. I remember when I first saw the Pilot (on a friend's recorded VHS as I grew up in France) and my jaw hit the floor. I was stunned with how great it was, but more than anything how they had carefully arranged all these elements that I couldn't wait to see unfold. And isn't that what a Pilot is all about?
That final scene of the Pilot where Nate sees his father get on a bus is a crystalline moment of scorching loss. I'm going to add myself to the list of commentators whose father died when I was very young.
While I never felt like season's 2-5 were something I had to "endure"-- some of the best moments are in there-- I agree some poor characters were dragged through the mud. I love flawed Nate so much it was bitter to see him turn into such an asshole. And why did spitfire, brilliant, cocksure Brenda have to turn into such a melodramatic mommy? Guh.
It sure is intense to see the first season when everyone's so... unsullied.
Posted by: Tati at March 18, 2008 8:25 PM
Oh, and ShinyKate-- I have nothing else to add but to totally agree with you vis-a-vis the whole Lisa storyline. Yeah, she was a pain in the ass, but that's what made her fascinating to have Nate deal with, and when Nate had to deal with her death, the scene in the desert is a gut-wrencher.
And ditto about "That's my dog." Traumatized much? Surely a brilliant episode, but I own the DVDs and I cannot bear to rewatch it. Yet.
Posted by: Tati at March 18, 2008 8:31 PM
I feel that I should say thank you for this. I only recently lost two of my grandparents, both of which were very old (97 and 92) and neither of which I knew well, so I don't have some of the poignant feelings other people have. I also used to watch Six Feet Under when it first aired. I've watched the last five minutes, but I have to admit... I couldn't motivate myself to watch season five because there were some truly unsatisfying things in season four.
Today my mother called me. Years ago, before my family moved, she was friends with our neighbor. Yesterday my mother got a call that our old neighbor was very sick, there was some sort of infection that hadn't been identified as serious until a little too late. Tonight too late came.
My mother asked me why people had to die. I told her, "I heard this in a movie once, 'To make living important.'"
It calmed her down. It calmed me down. I can say right now that if anyone deserved a long life with fifty grandchildren it was Provi... but I can also say that she lived a life that was important.
Once again, thank you.
Posted by: the maljax at March 18, 2008 8:45 PM
Great commentary, and thank you for writing about this transformative show. I was late to the SFU train, but once I got on...I watched the whole series twice (not all at once). Between the acting and all the emotions running around, I sometimes confused myself as part of the Fisher family. While I'm getting used to seeing Michael C. Hall as Dexter, I don't know if I can ever see Peter Krause as anyone other than Nate. What a gloriously complicated character.
Posted by: Cindy at March 18, 2008 9:18 PM
My sister died at 16 in a car accident. One of the gems I heard was "Shit happens".
No shit.
While true, it's not something to say to someone who's grieving.
Posted by: Jen at March 18, 2008 9:47 PM
Also, watching Dexter reminded me of what a kick-ass actor Michael C. Hall is. He truly seems like two different people between SFU/Dexter. Soooo true, I was just talking about this today and what a great actor he is. He's so constipated as David Fischer but totally different (and hot!) as Dexter.
One of the things I loved about SFU was that Nate Fischer is obviously the natural choice to identify with for most viewers, but essentially he's a total dick down to his last moments. He's so complex in that way; he embodies all our efforts and intentions to be good people, but also all our shortcomings and real, often hurtful, desires. One of the many reasons SFU is so beautiful.
On the subject of Lili Taylor's character, I agree with Dustin that her character was painful to watch, but I remember Ball commenting on how her death delves into what happens when someone we(Nate) want to die actually dies and how we deal with it. So it's kind of appropriate non? But I agree with ShinyKate, despite the annoyance I was weeping when Nate buried her.
Posted by: racheee at March 18, 2008 10:02 PM
Wow this is funny. I just watched this season. How ironic
Posted by: Tom at March 18, 2008 10:53 PM
Pretty cool and creative...Who can really make it true?? Try it out at myrichmatch..com which has so many ways to check out.
Posted by: lucus at March 19, 2008 4:30 AM
Yes, I really enjoyed the first season - best I've seen probably - but I mostly wanted to say - Wow, Dustin - a very nice review. I like it when we're not too cool to reveal that human bit that makes our opinions actually resonate (as opposed to a presentation piece out for Diggs or whatever they are).
There's is a lot of death and cancer happening in my family right now, and I'll agree that you really find out who you are when you have to be a me-without-you. The worst part is the shame I feel at lying to the kids about this super lovely heaven place when I know that it is what they need, but will eventually be one of those 'santa' things where you wonder if you'll ever be able to trust your parents again...ug. the worst.
Posted by: replica at March 19, 2008 4:31 AM
Ay ay ay. Fuck you Dustin. Seriously. Right in the ear, mate. I wept like a little bitch when the last minutes of the finale played originally & after re-watching it just now again on youtube (and AGAIN sobbing like a little bitch), I have to say you're spot on with your review.
Yeah, it went a little haywire at times with the plot & character arcs & irritating characters (oh, poor Lily Taylor), but I still defended this program like there was no tomorrow to my nay-sayer friends at the time (and to this day!). Friends that had once cherished the show but had turned to the dark side. Fuckers would weep if they saw the the last few episodes, too.
Love your comments, DR.
Posted by: Quirky- at March 19, 2008 5:10 AM
Best show of the past decade
Posted by: Josh at March 19, 2008 5:25 AM
Just listened to Obama's speech on race in America.
Sigh... I wish our politicians were that open and honest.
You'll don't know how lucky you guys are
Posted by: Colombo at March 19, 2008 5:36 AM
I also loved the storylines dealing with Rico and his pretty wife. I thought she was an excellent actress and the meltdown of their relationship was so real. My heart broke for him, even though he fucked up.
As for L. Taylor, she was irritating, but she did such a good job of portraying that unique Pacific Northwest sanctimony. She was a nudge, but Nate was a pain in the ass, too. I was *very* creeped out when he had sex with that girl soon after whose father was a serial killer and then yelled at her when she started crying.
Posted by: samantha t at March 19, 2008 9:47 AM
i can't listen to Breathe Me without tearing up. so much for putting it on my ipod and then listening to it on the bus. i felt like such a massive dork but man, it gets me every time. all i have to picture is claire looking in her rearview mirror and seeing nate jog behind her and - pardon me, i need...i need a tissue.
Posted by: amanda at March 19, 2008 10:48 AM
Oh, my God - the finale. It's such a basic thing, but I always think "Oh, my God. I'm going to DIE someday" when I watch those last six minutes.
Posted by: samantha t at March 19, 2008 11:36 AM
So I just looked up which episode "That's My Dog" was. Yeh, I can see that being the one noone likes.
Lesson learned, don't pick up hitchhikers.
Posted by: Brian at March 19, 2008 11:45 AM
Lesson learned, don't pick up hitchhikers.
I still do.
Worst hitchhiker experience (as a driver) was some old hobo-esque man I met a gas station on my way to college, who had to get to the train station urgently. Kind soul that I was, I took him and his stupid trolley with me, even if it was actually a massive detour for me. It took me five seconds on the road to realize I had made a huge mistake. He smelled. Bad. Nauseating. Revolting. Like meat gone bad with stale beer poured on with touch of sweaty armpits. Since we were on a ringway, I couldn't simply stop and kick him out. So after thirty minutes in busy traffic with the window wide open I dropped him of at the station, where he even persuaded me to give him some change (to make a phonecall).
Afterwards I drove to college with his stench lingering throughout the car*, barely tolerable. As soon as I got it parked at college, I asked one of my fellow students a deodorant and started emptying the bottle straight into the seat. I took soap from the toilet and rubbed it all over. Three long hours and a some lame statistical analysis class skipped later, it started to smell acceptable.
Since then I vowed only to pick up young and well groomed people. I broke that vow many times, last month I took some guy and his wet dog with me. I'm such a pussy.
(*my mom's car, btw)
Posted by: Adere at March 19, 2008 12:13 PM
The first season was by far the best of the bunch, but the show really started to suck halfway through Season 3, during Season 4 i started to wonder why i still bothered, same with the last one.
I just didn't recognize the characters anymore, Nathan was such an annoying character in the end (well, most of them were), and there's one particular episode in Season 4 (i think it was called "That's my dog"), which is so awful, that i still get angry thinking about it. So it wasn't just Lili Taylor's storyline, that ran the show into the ground, though you covered that very well in your article.
The last 5 minutes of the series are totally over-rated in my opinion, the bad make-up somehow threw me off, it was also kind of kitschy. That i didn't care about the characters anymore probably didn't help. The ending of Season 1 is way better, and i like to think that the series ended after that (which is the reason why i sold all the other dvd sets).
Posted by: colfari at March 19, 2008 12:18 PM
i remember renting season one and becoming engrossed. i think it was the first time i ever had sat curled up on the couch, in cold because we didn't have heat that winter, watching five or six episodes in a row, duitfully walking down the hill to the video store to rent the next disc, and my roommates thinking i was a goob. fast forward a couple of years, watching season six at my job at the media center in the library, everyone on staff just screaming how awful and overwrough it was, and agreeing. i still haven't seen the season finale. i should, i suppose, but i started loathing every character and i don't know if i can get over that.
Posted by: bree at March 19, 2008 1:14 PM
Just remembered that I never watched the last season on DVD & hooked it up on Netflix. Thanks for reminding me of how much I loved this show.
Posted by: GinKirk at March 19, 2008 1:21 PM
Dustin & Melina, so true. SFU premiered about 3 weeks before my dad died of cancer. I had waited for this new show to come on, fell in love with it immediately, then began living it. We also didn't have a real "service" for my dad, and he was also laid out on one of those lovely steel tables, in his jeans, plaid shirt and work shoes, with his cap in his hands. My son was 6 at the time...completely inconsolable. He kept running up and hugging him. I didn't want to touch my dad because I knew he was cold. I had been with him when he breathed his last and knew he was nowhere around. I made the mistake of leaning over him, and seeing the side of his face that was away from all of us.....the side they did not put make up on. The sight of that cold, dead gray-white flesh will never leave me....neither will the feel of his ashes as we scattered them over our old farm....greasy, gritty...altogether indescribable and unforgettable. And, no, he did NOT go to a better place. He went.....nowhere.
I watched SFU, hate to use the phrase, but religiously. I still miss it. Some of the best writing and best acting on TV. I particularly loved Santa buying it on his Harley, in front of some kids, the sick-of-it-all housewife whacking her husband with the skillet, David's horrible kidnapping and recovery, and my absolute favorite of the long opening, starting with the parent and child setting free a bird they had healed and ending with a woman being crushed in her back yard by a chunk of blue ice (crap) loosed from an overheard plane. Good times.
I cried like a baby when Nate died, and to this day cannot even hear "Breathe Me" without losing it. Even my boyfriend, the same one who cringed through David and Keith's every embrace, sobbed throughout the ending. Damn HBO! Now what have they got? John Adams? Thanks a friggin' lot!!!
Posted by: dammitjanet at March 19, 2008 1:30 PM
Soo... I should netflix this show then, is what you're saying?
Posted by: that bees chick at March 19, 2008 3:25 PM
If any one of you read this and is not compelled to watch this amazing show, do yourself a favor and queue it up. It was beautifully written, perfectly acted, and straight up brilliant. GET IT NOW. Then go get Rome.
Posted by: jp at March 19, 2008 8:52 PM
Last summer, I found Pajiba.
because of this site, I started watching SFU.
It became my favorite drama series of all time. Every instance of death is so personable, you can feel for each family member. It's impossible not to believe the actors. if you have something in your life you can look back in retrospect while watching this... scratch that, everyone will have something eventually to look back and use as an anchor for this show's emotional basis, so you can take so much, even from just one or two episodes. Queue it, immediately.
Screw it, come to my house and I'll gladly watch the whole series with you.
Posted by: Max at March 20, 2008 12:49 AM
Oh how I loved this show. So nice to see that other people do as well. Sweet jesus, how I loved the end of the series finale. Yes--Nate jogging in the rear-view mirror of Claire's green hybrid. And old, wrinkly David at a family picnic looks up to see Keith catch the football... fucking beautiful
Posted by: Carrie at March 20, 2008 11:34 PM
...huh. Blue hybrid, I guess. (had to watch the season finale on youtube again)
Posted by: Carrie at March 20, 2008 11:44 PM
That show was the best fucking television I ever saw. I loved the entire fucking series. I loved how unbelievably fucked up every character was - just like real people! The melodrama or overworked nature of some of it didn't bother me much because it was so much better than anything I had ever seen before that I just loved every fucking minute of it, even when it was a little over the top. Everyone changed in some way over the life of the series, but their personal dramas looked so futile and pathetic against the backdrop of sudden death, freak accidents, illness - like while you're busy wasting time being hysterical, life really is passing you by and can end at ANY moment. And that was what Nate failed to learn. Like when George's daughter tells him life isn't like a vending machine where you put in virtue and take out happiness (or however that went.) But Claire does get to learn it by escaping her family and going on to embrace living. The show worked on so many levels, vividly horrific levels. It was fuckin' POETRY, man!
What's funny now though is where some of the cast have ended up. Michael C. Hall is doing Dexter and he's good in that role, and it's a good show (because it wasn't made for the networks.) Peter Krause did that weird movie about the guy who thinks terrorists are spying on him - he was good but it wasn't a great movie. Lauren Ambrose, also good, ended up on a shitty sitcom (Jezebel James) which seems completely wrong for her. Jeremy Sisto, who is pretty freaking intense, ended up on Law & Order. And isn't Rachel Griffiths on some stupid western? I don't watch westerns - it's a rule. But it's weird to see any of them outside the context of a show in which their characters were so well-developed - and also weird to see obviously talented people involved in stuff that just isn't that great. Makes me wonder why Network television sucks so bad.
Posted by: bluebird at March 25, 2008 10:42 PM