You're Only Hurting Yourself
By Brian Prisco | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (20)
Oscar Time! Oscar Time! It’s time for us industry folks to start nominating folks for consideration for awards consideration. And there’s some stiff competition. Now, I know there’ve been instances where an actor has been really good in a lesser film and then been nominated for the more prestigious one. This usually happens to Sam Rockwell. There have been instances where a nomination has been given based on the actor’s role the year prior — the we’re sorry, here’s your trophy or the Peter Jackson award.
But I wonder if the converse is also true. Actors make movies years in advance. Sometimes a film is shot in a month and then rushed into production. Sometimes, films are delayed for release for awards season or to avoid other films. The whole thing is a bit of a chess match. So sometimes, an actor can appear in several films over the course of the year, even though they shot one years before the other. And I wonder if these releases of inferior films with inferior performances hinder and actor’s chances at even getting nominations. Even some trailers can offer a glimpse into a shitty performance. So here’s a few actors who I think have blown their chances of winning (or in some cases of even garnering an award nomination) and the films that did it. To be fair, I haven’t seen Minnie Driver in Barney’s Passion or Michelle Williams in Wendy and Lucy, but I don’t think anyone else will either, so they’re probably safe.
Edward Norton
The funny part is, it’s actually the one that’s asking for consideration that’s the turkey. I personally think Norton was remarkable in Leaves of Grass. And yet, the studio is putting him up for Stone, which is a terribly weak version of his Primal Fear performance, coupled with terrible Detroit wigger lingo.
Natalie Portman
Portman is kind of amazing in Black Swan, putting forth a performance that demonstrates exceptional growth and maturity on her part, and basically forces me to eat my doubt of her a few months ago. And yet, then we look at the two trailers for her upcoming work: Your Highness, where the only thing she’s got going for her is a willingness to show her bare ass, and No Strings Attached, which makes me yearn for the acidic venom of Katherine Heigl. Just when everyone’s gonna be admiring NatPo for her performances, those trailers are going to haunt the chances like the specter of her ass-shaking in Closer.
Milla Jovovich
Maybe I’m the only one who thinks she was amazing in Stone, even though the studio’s pushing hard for nods for that flick. And I think Milla’s the best of that lot of actors. But like everyone else, Milla’s the sci-fi action star. And since they released the fourteenandahalfth Resident Evil film, Resident Evil: Ernest Eats A Camp, everyone’s gonna think of her as a sword wielder and not a gold wielder.
Phylicia Rashad
I think they can put up just about anyone from the cast of For Colored Girls and it would be a deserving nomination. And while I prefer either Thandie Newton, Kerry Washington, and the devine Loretta Devine, Mrs. Huxtable had a dog in this fight. That is, until I finished watching Frankie & Alice. I’ll get into that on Thursday, but let’s just say the Hallmark soapopery of her performance pretty neatly unraveled anything remotely memorable about her fierceness in For Colored Girls.
Robert DeNiro
Stone again. I told you, he locks you in with those eyes, he commands your presence. And then he focks hisself right in the mouth. You can’t escape Little Fockers. And any chance Bobby had of salvaging some of his acting acumen got buttfocked right in the browneye.
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Comments
Posted by: jthomas666 at November 30, 2010 3:32 PM
I can't believe you didn't invoke the specter of Eddie Murphy and the Dreamgirls/Norbit fiasco.