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You'll See Your Problems Multiplied: Five Reasons Steve McQueen's Next Film Should Be a Comedy

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (13)



fassmcq.jpg

Director Steve McQueen needs to lighten up. His first film, Hunger was about the 1981 Irish hunger strike in Maze Prison. His second film, Shame is a dark look at the world of a sexual addict. His third outing is to be an adaptation of Solomon Northup’s autobiographical memior, 12 Years a Slave; the author—a free black man living in New York—was kidnapped and sold into slavery. The film will (of course) star Michael Fassbender, as well as Chiwetel Ejiofor and Brad Pitt. Steve…dude, please take a dose of sunshine and breathe in the alternate side of life for a moment. While we all admire your point of view, perhaps you could consider turning this next outing toward the lighter side? Here are (what I think are) a few compelling thoughts to ponder:


5. Pitt can be (kinda) funny.


4. Fassbender can sing!


3. Fassbender can dance!


2. Fassbender wants (and needs) to work on his comedy skills.


1. 12 Years a Slave is almost too depressing for words—I want to cry just reading about it: In 1841, Northup was made an employment offer by two men, to join a circus as a violin player; the scammers lured him to a hotel room, offering to pay his board there. When Northup showed up he was drugged and along with others, sold into slavery. While in captivity, Northup was beaten and whipped, passed to different owners and nearly killed (with an ax) by one. Inasmuch as this story should be told, perhaps you could consider passing it along to another director.

Since you are already committed to your stars (and they to you), why not instead make a comedy (maybe even a musical) and let Fassbender sing and dance? You could call it 3 Years a Moron: Life as a Circus Clown. More people will come, everyone will be laughing and happy and you’ll make more money. And isn’t that what this industry is all about?


Cindy Davis just wants us all to get along.









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Comments

Could this site maybe obsess on another male actor not named Fassbender?

Posted by: logan at October 30, 2011 2:06 PM

No it may not.

Posted by: Freller at October 30, 2011 4:00 PM

Mayhaps we can change one letter and focus on the later German director Rainer Werner Fassbinder?

Wait, that'd just be depressing,.

Posted by: vic at October 30, 2011 5:18 PM

I agree with you logan, the whole point to this article was Fassbender. We've already got Tyler Perry that specializes in "funny" African American movies, let Mr McQueen pursue the serious stories.

(I don't really see why Fassbender is so popular, the guy looks like a heroin addict.)

Posted by: snapnhiss at October 30, 2011 5:48 PM

I don't quite agree with you that he NEEDS to do a comedy, but it's always great to see such a talented director delve into other genres. But this is beside the point I wanted to make.


MIchael Fassender = Irish version of Sam Rockwell

Both fantastic actors, both can dance.

Posted by: Theseus at October 30, 2011 6:10 PM

All that said, this sounds like it will be an incredible movie.

Posted by: ChristianH at October 30, 2011 7:48 PM

Huh. That top photo is the first time I've ever found Fassbender attractive.

Posted by: SAS at October 30, 2011 8:59 PM

Keep fighting the good fight, Cinders.

Posted by: Joanna Robinson at October 30, 2011 11:07 PM

All the superficial comments about Fassbender's appearance are kind of stunning considering the dude's acting abilities.

Who the fuck cares what he looks like?

Posted by: Mark at October 30, 2011 11:38 PM

I realize that the above is in jest to a degree. But it seems that a comedy is not what McQueen is aiming for right now. And the new project has much potential.

Posted by: Mr. West at October 31, 2011 1:57 AM

Posted by: Mr. West at October 31, 2011 2:00 AM

Fassbender fassbender fassbender. Fassbender fassbender? Hahahaha! Fassbender!

Fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender. Fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender. Fassbender? Fassbender fassbender.

Fassbender fassbender fassbender. Not when fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender fassbender.

Posted by: Fassbender fassbender at October 31, 2011 11:12 AM

Fassbender has a fassbender. I mean point. They have a point.

Posted by: Paultera at October 31, 2011 1:01 PM