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You Wanna Talk to Her: 14 Nerdy-Hot Television Writers Who've Doubled-Down Our Brain Crushes

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | September 16, 2013 | Comments ()


Every single time I watch an episode of Breaking Bad or American Horror Story, I think about all the orgasms I’d be having if my crush on a writer’s brain could be physically expressed. That rush of blood to the head you feel when Vince Gilligan pulls off what he did last night—blowing away anyone’s expectations—makes me wonder if there is some dirty thing happening inside my head. Pleasure center, indeed. Funny thing is, I also find something about Mr. Gilligan physically attractive. It’s not just because of the brain crush; there’s kind of a nerdy-hot thing going on there. Yes? And looking around the writers’ room, he’s not the only one…

1. Ryan Murphy, American Horror Story, Glee, Nip/Tuck, Popular


2. Jane Campion, Top of the Lake


3. Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad, The X-Files, The Lone Gunman


4. Tina Fey, 30 Rock, Saturday Night Live, Mean Girls


5. Bryan Fuller (with Butch Patrick!), Hannibal, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, Star Trek: Voyager


6. Elizabeth Meriwether, New Girl


7. David Benioff, Game of Thrones, The Kite Runner, City of Thieves


8. Lena Dunham, Girls, Tiny Furniture


9. Kurt Sutter, Sons of Anarchy, The Shield


10. Felicia Day, TableTop, The Guild


11. Howard Gordon, Homeland, 24, The X-Files


12. Neil Cross, Luther, Doctor Who, MI-5


13. Mark Gatiss, Sherlock, Doctor Who, The League of Gentlemen


14. Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation The Mighty B


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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • EliotKami

    No Steven Moffat?

  • kirbyjay

    Question: Why do child stars grow up to be so freakish looking. I'm looking at you WolfBoy

  • Jenn TheYellowDart


  • Hollyg

    I watched the entirety of the Writer's Room GoT episode thinking how fucking lucky his partner/spouse is and how very much I would like to be that person.

  • Jenn TheYellowDart

    Honestly, I listen to him, watch his show(s), and look at him, and I lose all ability to express myself aside from cavewoman-like sex noises.

  • e jerry powell

    Why isn't Neil Cross related to David Cross?

  • "Every single time I watch an episode of Breaking Bad or American Horror Story, I think about all the orgasms I’d be having if my crush on a writer’s brain could be physically expressed."

    You know....I happen to know a hypnosis routine that could make that a reality....give me a shout if you're interested. ;-)

  • BrokenWindows

    Everyone from League of Gentleman is awesome.

  • Belphebe

    Vince Gilligan looks like the love child of Tim Curry and Robert Downey Jr.
    I would hit that sooo sooo hard.

  • kirbyjay

    I'm kinda thinking half-brother of Seth McFarlane, so.......NO

  • grr arrgh

    My god...I will never unsee that. (In a good way). You're totally right.

  • kirbyjay

    Sorry, I should have replied after GrrrArrrgh. I totally negated his/her comment. Now it looks like he/she is lusting after Seth McFarlane kin. Not so. Sometimes my enthusiasm gets the better of me.

  • grr arrgh

    Ha! It's fine. I'm sure I'll make the same mistake at some point.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    "Bryan Fuller (with Butch Patrick!), Hannibal, Heroes, Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls, Dead Like Me, Star Trek: Voyager"

    That's a bit hit-and-miss, isn't it?

  • Matt C.

    Not really. The only ones that miss, if you even want to call it that, are the ones that he didn't create (Heroes, Voyager).

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Depending on which episodes he wrote, you're right.

  • He wrote some of the best episodes of Heroes and Lost. (e.g. He wrote 'The Constant' for Lost and 'Company Man' for Heroes.)

  • Allijo

    Surely there's a reasonably attractive writer on "Justified" for this list.

  • Bodhi

    Aw, now I miss Wonderfalls all over again

  • BendinIntheWind

    Oh my god... for a second I thought my brain would explode because I autofilled "The Mighty B" into "The Mighty Boosh".

  • Milly

    I'd love to see a Parks and Rec crimp off.

    "Bouncy, bouncy,

    ooooh, such a good time.

    Bouncy, bouncy,

    shoes all in a line.

    Bouncy, bouncy,

    everybody somersault.


    Summer time!

    Everybody sing-a-long!"


  • TSF

    Jessi Klein

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Bryan Fuller is the most adorable giant man-nerd there ever was. Seriously. He wears flower crowns. It's awesome.

  • Repo

    I'm really trying to figure out why they're holding his shoe. But then I realized it doesn't matter,.

  • Tinkerville

    You kind of lost me at Ryan Murphy and Lena Dunham. I like American Horror Story but he seems like such a raging asshole. Luckily you brought me back with all the rest. I have one of those "I shouldn't find him sexy but I do, even as Mycroft" crushes on Mark Gatiss.

  • Legally Insignificant

    If you like Mark Gatiss, you should check out his Lucifer Box trilogy. It's a delightful little mystery series that takes place during three distinct periods in the aforementioned spy's life.

  • Brown

    I would put Geek and Sundry instead of Tabletop for Felicia. It is on her network, but it is really Wil's show.

  • Brown

    I guess it works as a writer, but she has other things on G&S that feels more like her stuff.

  • DataAngel

    "Brainy is the new sexy"

  • Bj

    Megan Ganz should be here.

  • $65530708

    She was, but was removed when she went to Modern Family.

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