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You Uptight, Puritanical Right Wing Tight *sses Are Missing Out On Some Awesome TV

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (23)



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This week, in a super scientific survey of science, “Entertainment Weekly” surveyed (how?) some (how many?) Republicans to find out which TV shows they loved and which they hated. All in all it’s a mixed bag and no real conclusions can be drawn except, really guys, Larry The Cable Guy? Here are the top five things Conservatives are missing out on. Scroll down to the bottom for the complete list of likes and dislikes.

1. That Time Andy Slapped The Iced Coffee Out Of Nancy’s Hand On “Weeds”: It’s not a big surprise “Weeds” is unpopular with the Right. What with the marijuana selling and the frequent boning. I mean, to be honest, most everyone I know hates this show at this point because Nancy Botwin is such an insufferably selfish and self-destructive cow. That being said, it was worth watching season six just for this moment when Andy did what we’ve all been dying to do for years now. Well slapped.

2. Deb Morgan’s Guttermouth on “Dexter”: There are a lot of reasons to love “Dexter.” It’s well acted, tense, darkly humorous and often delightfully disgusting. But, for me, a highlight is the filth that comes out of pretty Deb Morgan. An incredibly NSFW sampler below.

3. The Homogays of “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report”: How can you not love those faces?
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4. That Star Wars Stuff On “The Family Guy”: There’s a lot I dislike about “The Family Guy,” but the Star Wars spoofs were fun. The second best short-form animated Star Wars spoofs of the decade. (Kisses, “Robot Chicken”!)

5. That Time On “The Walking Dead” That Didn’t Make Me Feel Like Shooting Myself In The Head Yeah, sorry, I’m with the conservatives on this one. ANDREEEEAAAAAAAAAA.

Complete List Of Likes: “Swamp Loggers.” “Top Shot,” “The Bachelor,” “Castle,” “Mythbusters,” “Only in America With Larry the Cable Guy,” “American Pickers,” “Pawn Stars,” “Swamp People” “The Middle” “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, “The Biggest Loser” “Hawaii Five-O,” “NCIS,” “The Mentalist,” “Dancing With the Stars results show” (But not the actual show?!) “Man vs. Wild” “Auction Kings” “Wheel of Fortune” and “Top Gear.”

Complete List Of Dislikes: “The Daily Show,” “The Colbert Report,” “Divorce Court,” “The Big C,” “Let’s Make a Deal,” “South Park,” “TMZ,” “General Hospital”(WHAT?), “Family Guy,” “Dexter,” “The Jersey Shore,” “The Walking Dead,” “Bridezillas,” “My Fair Wedding With David Tutera,” and “Don’t Forget the Lyrics.”









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Comments

I haven't even heard of five of the shows in the "Like" category. Top Shot? There's a show called Top Shot? That's begging for a clever joke I'm not smart enough to come up with. The Middle is pretty funny and Top Gear is hilarious.

On the other side, I have a hard time believing that more than 5 people know there is a show called TMZ. I know I try to forget there's a show like that.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 6, 2011 11:51 PM

And hey, where the fuck is today's Community post? It's like you don't care anymore. It's not even off the air yet, and you've already forgotten about it. This is why we can't have nice things.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at December 7, 2011 12:00 AM

Knocking that coffee out of her damn face almost makes me want to start watching Weeds again. It's too bad she still managed to have the straw annoyingly sticking out of the side of her face.

I'll bet her lips have callouses from sucking non-stop on that straw for six straight seasons.

That sounded dirtier than I meant it.

Posted by: Paultera at December 7, 2011 12:23 AM

Alas, yes, there is a show called Top Shot. It's principally for those in the History Channel audience who can only remember the Second Amendment from the Bill of Rights.

For some strange reason, I am completely unsurprised that so little of what Republicans like are scripted programs.

Posted by: Jerry at December 7, 2011 12:59 AM

And now I know why Jay "The Chin That Walked Like A Man" Leno is still on TV.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at December 7, 2011 5:29 AM

For a group of people so dedicated to deciding who can get married, they sure don't like wedding programming...

Posted by: KatSings at December 7, 2011 8:54 AM

Wait. I can see how they may not like Bridezillas, what with the abundance of trailer trash not helping Republican stereotypes, but My Fair Wedding?? WTF! That show is hilarious, sweet, beautiful, and fun. This proves it, these people have no soul.

Posted by: Donut Plains at December 7, 2011 9:06 AM

"General Hospital" but not "One Life to Live"?

Bastards!

*heads off to courthouse to reregister as a ... Libertarian -- lists like this can only push me so far*

Posted by: , at December 7, 2011 9:28 AM

Debra Morgan is pretty much the only reason I'm still watching Dexter because the show stopped being interesting after season 2 when they killed Doakes.

Posted by: John W at December 7, 2011 9:59 AM

I'd like to politely and gently tell those of you badmouthing Top Shot to back the fuck off. It is an excellent show, one of if not the best reality competition show you will ever see. It's only competition would be Top Chef, which also showcases people who are very, very good at what they do. The people involved with the show also tend to be decent human beings (there are exceptions) who have worked to accomplish something, which puts them leaps and bounds ahead of most reality show contestants. I am about as left of center on most issues as you get, but this show highlights marksmanship, pretty much the only thing you can do with a gun that doesn't involve something dying.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at December 7, 2011 10:18 AM

Do you think they like Top Gear because it's about cars or because Jeremy Clarkson is the most obnoxious conservative asshole currently breathing air on this planet?

Posted by: PaddyDog at December 7, 2011 10:38 AM

Castle and the Mentalist confuse me slightly... I guess one explaination is everyone loves capt tightpants.
And the Mentalist has... Josh Lyman being killed?
(I enjoy both shows but I didn't think they were politically aligned)

Posted by: Luke at December 7, 2011 10:56 AM

YES, Deb Morgan is the only reason to watch Dexter. But John, NOBODY liked Doakes. Catapulting his flaming torso from that burning shed was the most righteous thing they've done in 6 seasons (other than Trinity whacking Rita, of course).

Posted by: beet salad at December 7, 2011 11:57 AM

Mythbusters is both educational and explosiony. Soemthing for everyone, I say.

LET THIS BE THE MIDDLE GROUND UPON WHICH WE ALL MEET AND BECOME ONE!

And, when in doubt, C4.

Posted by: dahlia6 at December 7, 2011 12:05 PM

Pajiba should start a new political party. The "Good Television" Party. The GTP. Where the whole point is to get someone in the white house and then make sure that all the good tv gets six seasons and a movie and all the bad tv gets cancelled. And if somebody didn't want to watch the good tv they'd get tossed into a cell and forced to... Wow. That got very 1984 very quickly and it was all in my head. Yikes.

Posted by: AngelArm45 at December 7, 2011 12:26 PM

It's depressing that there is more than one show about weddings.

Posted by: Slash at December 7, 2011 1:49 PM

Good grief. Those Family Guy/Star Wars things were god awful. At least my husband got a solid laugh out of Peter flashing his arse when frozen in carbonite.

Posted by: Goldie at December 7, 2011 5:04 PM

PaddyDog, I'm sure they like the shitty History Channel version of Top Gear. You think conservatives watch BBC America? Ha.

Posted by: Ariel at December 7, 2011 5:59 PM

I think I've seen you write that "NOBODY likes Doakes" before, beet salad. I don't understand why you say that. I always hear people say they miss Doakes. The show went downhill after his character was gone. He was the only cop smart and determined enough to pose much of a threat to Dexter.

I haven't done a poll, but I'm fairly certain you're dead wrong and that the majority of people liked Doakes for all the tension he brought to the show.

Posted by: becks at December 7, 2011 8:33 PM

As with the other article, the lists such and have no basis in reality.

Posted by: clancys_daddy at December 7, 2011 8:43 PM

Doakes wasn't written to be likeable, but I definitely missed him. In addition to the visible tension, he also provided a contrast that seemed to diminish in subsequent seasons- justice vs vigilantism. Part of the shows appeal to me was the way it inverted the cop show tropes; in particular that of the hardass, "justice first, screw the rulebook" cop who is typically elevated to hero but here as the villain.

Doakes' presence at least forced a question about whether sympathies should rest with a serial killer, however genial he may be and how guilty the perpetrators he punishes. Which side would you be on if you discovered that was happening at your local police department- the vigilante killer with apparently infallible detection skills or the cop who pursues justice aggressively, but (mostly) within the bounds of the law?

Posted by: Zsa Zsa Binks at December 8, 2011 1:37 AM

"YES, Deb Morgan is the only reason to watch Dexter. But John, NOBODY liked Doakes. Catapulting his flaming torso from that burning shed was the most righteous thing they've done in 6 seasons (other than Trinity whacking Rita, of course)."

What!?... I oughta slug you right in the jaw then walk away swiftly and calmly so that you look like the bad guy when you charge out and jump me!

Doakes was a total legend. Great guy, only one who didn't buy Dexter's bullshit. Kept him on his toes. Was awesome. I still loved most of the other seasons (haven't seen this latest one) but something beautiful left the show when he died.

Posted by: Ender at December 8, 2011 4:56 AM

Great thank you for writing that to us.

Posted by: Eunice Lavalla at December 8, 2011 8:41 PM